Pleasure to Burn
by Howlynn
Summary: What if there was more fire then understood between Katniss and Cinna. AU with a canon wrap makes for a blazing story. Lemons with no puckery words. Read and review - more to follow beware F-bombs in chapter 12
1. Chapter 1

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn  
><strong>Summary<strong>: _Katniss and Cinna may have shared more than ability to keep cool in the face of danger. They may have shared burning flames that were more than symbolic._  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Katniss/Cinna

**Author notes**:

I am going to do some odd pairs just for the challenge of figuring out how to wrap it in canon. Cinna/Katniss has a few fun possible moments to me – see what you think and review.

_Bonus material - warning, may contain any of the following ingredients –(old people, language. Spoilers, Sexual discussion, ghosts, sex, smexy lemons, smutty thoughts, sexual reference, sexual innuendo, reference to past violence, sadness, bondage, violence, dead characters being discussed, alcohol use, caffeine use, reference to man love, unintended exhibitionism, naked people, infidelity, torture, reference to adultery, reference to other persecuted unacceptable sex (threesome), reference to possible non-consent and prostitution -whew the warning alone makes me want to read it again) If you have any allergies to these subjects, please take appropriate measures for your maturity level. Side effects may include but not be limited to: flaming of the author, Pm grouchiness, and unwanted hair growth._

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><p><strong><em>Chapter One<em>**

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><p>"It was a pleasure to burn." Fahrenheit 451<p>

Adoration. Worship. Passion. Wrong. Right. But, not exactly love. It was not the kind of love that would last between two people who hope to find that special person to grow old with. It might last a lifetime, but when life could be measured in days, hours even, it could be said to be temporary or only a flame. It could also be called a love that would last forever, beings it would probably have to, for the two people standing on the brink of ashes.

There had been looks passing between them for some time, ignored by the other demurely. Cinna had gazed at her in the nude with longing and desire, but he could control it. He was no animal. She was a child.

A year ago he'd sent her to her nearly certain death, hating that the tips of his fingers had never known the pleasure of her softness. He'd held her hand and told her goodbye, giving her words of encouragement as she'd stepped away forever. He'd cried for two hours preparing her funeral ensemble, for when they returned his extinguished girl on fire to him. But his loving preparations for her had gone unused, unneeded. The firemen had not put her out, for she'd transformed into elusive magical spirit fire, not quite real and not quite friendly.

There were Foxfires where Cinna grew up, beautiful things that lead people to be lost in the deepest parts of the swamp if they followed. It was said they lead to fairylands and those who saw them never wanted to return, but others said the lights were evil and lead souls to doom. Come delight or damnation, Cinna knew he must follow her.

This time there was no hope of her return and he knew he would be racing her to that prize. Death and eternity is wantonly smiling at them, preparing to point it's finger upon the lives in this room. He already had both of their outfits laid aside for the inevitable. Peeta was to rest beside her for all time in splendor that would match the girls. Cinna had this covered as far as necessary preparations he thought. He was not prepared for her remark upon greeting her.

"I swear if you cry, I will kill you here and now."

Cinna just smiles, "Had a damp morning?"

Katniss drops her light robe and inquires about the costumes this year. Cinna remains vague and mysterious. "Don't worry, I always channel my emotions into my work. That way I only hurt myself. I think you will be pleased with the results."

"I am going to die Cinna. But that isn't the worst part." She'd said with both resolve and regret. He is behind her as she stands in her perfection, unable to take his eyes off her, the way her hips flared with such sweet curve, swelling with promise below her long muscular waist.

"Yes Katniss. Time is in very short supply for each of us now. Are you afraid?" His hand touches her silken shoulder in pure comfort, without conveying the things his face did not hide at all in that moment. She cannot see him, but he watches her face carefully.

"You have gotten yourself in to trouble haven't you?" She says eyes glassy and far away.

"Yes. Perhaps. I hope it to be more of a trade, but we will have to wait and see."

"If you are trading for me, I wish you wouldn't. I am sending Peeta home this time." She advises turning her head and searching his face. He didn't hide his emotions from her quite fast enough, because she tilts her head and spins to face him. "It is for me."

Just the hint of his knowing smile tells her she has guessed correctly. "I would rather that you be a living symbol instead of a martyr." He confesses hope, not truth.

"But we both know that won't be. Cinna, do you think I am pretty?" her eyes drop as her face flushes.

"You are beautiful. My beautiful girl on fire. No. A beautiful woman on fire by now." He says with a wistful sigh.

Her lovely gray eyes meet his placid green ones. Her head shakes slightly. "Still girl," There is no voice, only whisper, "and on fire."

His precise brows come together; a line nestles between them as he watches her with confusion. "You and Peeta have never? Why, if I may ask. Is there another?"

"Yes. But I don't have time to play games with him. So, if you say no, I will understand." Terror flashes in her eyes. Her pulse throbs in her neck and she stands there, naked before him, asking a question he could not comprehend.

"Katniss, are you asking me to…"

She nods, but he is so full of dismay he just stands there breathing and she begins to melt before his eyes. He fights the stinging tears, refusing to ruin his eyeliner.

"If I were coming back, I would not have to be so direct." Her eyes have fallen away from his, embarrassed and clouding with certain refusal.

He can think of no proper response, so instead he gives her the improper one. His hand slides from her shoulder to her neck and the tips of his fingers just slide into the silken hair at her nape before his lips close on the hard mouth he'd dreamed of kissing into softness.

She returns his kiss and he hears her release the breath she had held too long as his mind slowly fell into flight with his little mockingjay. The first kiss was only kindling. He pulls away from her and made sure he'd made no mistake. She touches his chest shyly and curls the fabric of his expensive shirt in her fingers, pulling him back for more. "I don't want to die a girl Cinna. That is one of the parts I wish to change." She chews her lip for just a second, and then attacks his mouth in passion.

Whatever he meant to say, disappeared in the smoke of the conflagration he was experiencing at her touch. He could smell her wish without even checking to see if her body was making preparations for her first experience. Every breath he took conveyed to him she was. The scent was heady and his mind muddled with elation. His body is tuning to her's with such intense focus he could have missed the rebellion if it began in this very room.

His hands began exploring her back with the touch of a phantom. The fingertips sent shivers and goose bumps all over her and when he finally took his first deep needful breath of real passion, and pressed her to him, a moan of craving escapes him. She responds to his call by untucking his shirt and slipping her hand under the fabric, expecting to find smooth perfect skin. Her eyes fly open as her fingers encounter the many grooves and dents on his back.

"You have been whipped." She blurts out before thinking it might spoil her wish.

"Yes, many times. Does it change the question you have asked me?" He steps back, just inches, but it feels expansive, the distance bringing him to the reality of this encounter.

"No, I am surprised you have not polished away any imperfection." She smiles as if maybe she likes that he hasn't utilized the capital services to full advantage.

"Sometimes it is imperfection that is our greatest beauty. Waiting for things to be perfect rarely exacts any price other than watching dreams become remote." Cinna stoops and picks up her robe. He helps her into it.

"So you are saying no?" Katniss questions, trying to keep the disappointment from showing on her face.

He kisses her softly. "I am saying that for your first time, I want to do things in a more private setting. Should some measure of perfection be found, it won't be lost by accidental discovery. I have too many pleasures to give you, for this to be rushed or treated as if it doesn't matter." His eyes sparkle and he guides them into the cozy private lunch space. He closes the door and locks it.

From his pocket he removes a black device and types into it, one handed. He glances around the room and studies the device again. It flashes dull red, orange and yellow lights then beeps as they become green. He smiles and sets it on the table.

"What is that?" Katniss asks bending over and examining the small gadget without touching it.

"It is a jammer. It offers us privacy for our activity. Are you sure this is what you want Katniss? Would you not prefer it to be Peeta?" she shakes her head. "Finnick is a good choice as well?" She rolls her eyes and shakes her head. He smiles again. "Haymitch is even more famously knowledgeable than Finn, perhaps you should at least consider…"

"Cinna. Please don't tease me." Katniss sits on the couch and draws her knees up.

"I wasn't teasing you. I want you to be happy with your choice. You and Haymitch are very close, I would not wish to step in his way, if there is a remote possibility."

She makes a face. "There isn't. He hates me."

Cinna looks at her as if she has lost her mind. "You don't actually believe that. Could you truly be so aloof? We all love you Katniss. Peeta, Haymitch…me. We all love you more than life. Haven't you noticed?"

"This isn't about what I owe everyone. It was for me. Just forget it Cinna. I don't want to explain." She looks miserable and won't meet his eyes.

He quietly takes a seat next to her and takes her hand. "I am honored by your trust, Katniss, but I won't make this a bit of furious satiation followed by regret. I want to express how deeply I care for you, with your full understanding that you have more options if it pleases you. I am not your last resort, nor the only one to whom you can turn."

She peeks at him from the safety of her curtain of hair. "I want you."

He reaches out and tucks her hair behind her ear. He stands and kisses the top of her hair. She watches him as he lowers the lights and lights the candles scattered around the room.

He keeps her eyes locked to him as he quickly undoes the buttons of his shirt and whips it off. He holds his arms out for her examination. "My god Cinna. What is all that?" She takes in the scars and stands. Her fingers reach out and trace all the tortures of his life written upon his chest and back. Her touch sends his nerves on overdrive again.

"Nothing that matters at this moment." He engulfs her in his arms and lips explore the perfect and imperfect skin with the hunger of long suppressed want finally allowed to burn. It is a pleasure to burn.

The fire sucks the oxygen from the room, making the breaths come hard and fast as Cinna lays his blazing girl gently down. There are no garments between them and he positions her comfortably on the couch while he sits on his legs in front of her. She trembles nervously. "I want you to open your legs for me. Then close your eyes and relax, only concentrate on the sensations. It is erotic for me to bring you to pleasure a few times with my mouth before joining with you in the traditional way. Your scent alone arouses me and the taste of you will add to my pleasure later on. Have you ever brought yourself to pleasure?"

Her eyes are wide with embarrassed curiosity. "No. I think about it, but someone is always watching, or there isn't time. I can't, seem to let it happen."

He smiles as if this news pleases him. "That is perfectly normal. I want you to be absolutely comfortable and relax. Don't be self-conscious. There is nothing I enjoy more than this part, so the longer you allow me to explore your lovely charms, the deeper the bliss will become for me. You are in no hurry nor should you fight the reactions of your body. There may be movement you did not expect or twitching or sound. Do not let it pull you away from allowing you body to find it's natural path to enjoying this experience."

She listens carefully and takes a few deep breaths trying to calm herself. Cinna has been feathering his hands from her ankles to her thighs touching her everywhere except the target. He has watched her slickness entice him with it's glistening promise and he lets his fingers edge closer now, watching her reaction. "I am going to touch you Katniss, close your eyes and focus only on how it feels."

She does as he asks and he lightly moves his hand to the area of her he has yet, only allowed his eyes to adore. She jerks in surprise slightly but immediately forces that reaction away and relaxes again. "Will it hurt? They say it does."

"Not the way I do it. By the time we get to the part that is uncomfortable, it will add to your pleasure in a way you will never know again. Trust me Katniss. Give me your faith and let me adore you." Cinna's voice calms her. He moves his hands in a more steady rhythm now, watching her reactions and letting them guide him. He is fascinated to know he will give her that first moment of ecstasy and wants to see her every nuance.

She is changing now, twitching and can't stop the quick breaths that that are turning into tiny humming noises with each exhalation. "That's it Katniss. Feel it building inside you and let it burn. Burn for me girl on fire. Become my fire. Let me see you at your most beautiful." His voice was sensual and her reaction to his words brought her still closer. Her brows wrinkled in concentration as he continued his nimble manipulation of her.

Her toes began curling involuntarily and she didn't know what to do with her hands as her left hand curled into a fist and began to shake. Her breath became deep and she forgot to breath then would catch up with five or six deep pants then hold her breath again.

Cinna moved one finger against her wetness and gently applied slight pressure there as he let her flushing lips part and the sound she made increased at this additional sensation, combined with his quick movement as her head rolled from side to side. "You're brilliant Katniss. You are right there, give me the vision of you truly on fire. My girl on fire. My girl on fire. That's right."

Her eyes opened in shock and she curled forward as her first cry of joy began to fill Cinna's mind with true peace. He smiled at her and crooned, "Let go for me. I love you. One moment of pure love and nothing else exists." As she began to convulse, he sighed in thankfulness for this treasure she had bestowed on him.

"Cinna. Cinn ohh?" Her eyes flashed a moment of fear before she let it take her.

He watches her, face lost in pleasure as her eyes rolled and he feels her contracting. No other had ever seen her face. They know her mask. As her waves of joy wound down, he leaned forward, his skin covering her and keeping up the friction, letting her erupting lubrication give him a few moments of torture at the promise of what was about to be.

He tasted every bit of her skin on the way to her lips. Her nipples, already standing aroused, were ever so gently licked and taken between his lips as his hips move, continuing her pleasure in random lurches that shock through her body, firing last twinges of delight.

She shivers and moans her thanks and all she felt with her behavior, rather than words. He smiles down on her and knew he had to stop soon, because he is very near. "Have you ever seen a man in pleasure?"

She shake's her head and smiles. He asks intently but without judgment, "Would you like to, or will it offend you?"

"Show me Cinna. Do that for me. I want to see you." Her face is serious and her lips purse in concentration.

He guides her hand to him and shows her what he needs. "I may be messy, do you want me to warn you? I can deflect it from landing on you."

She looks at him with amusement. "No. Please. I want to see. I want you all over me."

He needs little more encouragement. He is staring in her deep gray eyes, turned pools of black dilated need. "I love that it's you. I always wanted you." She whispers. He gives up trying to hold back, this first desperate will, to stop his body from allowing the fury of delight her hands are causing.

"Katniss. I…" He twitches and is undone in his own fire. He watches himself bathe her in the pearls of his pleasure. He can't hold back the surges and her attention does nothing but bring them to power.

She grins widely with surprise. Her fingers dip in the thick white warmth he has left. She studies it rubbing the substance between her fingers and sniffing it tentatively. Her tongue darts out to his amusement and she tastes him. "It makes me want more." She concludes.

"Good, then you will understand what I have to do next." He says holding himself over her but knowing he can't control his muscles for much longer.

He gives her no warning. He simply moves his head between her legs and his lips and tongue begin to drive her insane with yet another sensation. She soon can't control her demand as he brings her again to that land of foxfire and wishes.

A knock on the door interrupts the proceedings and he quickly dresses as best he can and assures the team, they have worked magic and he will finish the rest himself but he is letting her rest a little. He tells them to take the time to work on being calm in her presence, no matter how hard it is.

He closes the door and returns to her. "We still have hours. Don't panic."

His head moves with her hips as she once more groans. His finger slides softly into her warm wetness as she burns for him. Her muscles tighten and release on him and he sighs thinking how he will bear her wrapped around him like that as she becomes his woman on fire. The next time he has her filled with two fingers. She is gaining confidence and giving herself to the physical bombardment with more ease each time.

When she is once again on the verge of incoherence, he raises himself to her and toys her into the first convulsion of climax as finally he uses her own spasms of joy to hide the pain of his entry. As she feels him stretch her for the first time, her pleasure is rocked to new levels and he can only watch her writhe beneath him for moments before he is joining her cries of pure, perfect, soul-melting elation.

He never leaves her as his recovery is brought about while still embedded in her heat. This time they move slowly together, leisurely at first. They whisper the secrets of lovers for each other and for this moment there is no Capitol filled with those hungry for death and blood. There is only Cinna and Katniss fiery in pleasure.

Time is no friend to them and at last they must part. While she showers he wipes the evidence of her first pleasures away with a very delicate and expensive handkerchief, tucks it in his shirt pocket and then joins her in the steaming water.

Once they step out of the shower, Cinna dresses and returns to business. As he braids her hair in the style her mother had introduced to him, his eyes dart to her and just the corners of his mouth lift secretly each time. He moves on to her makeup and his focus is so pointed no one could guess that moments before he'd made her more beautiful than any make-up or costume could ever hope to copy.

Unlike last year her face is nearly obscure with dark shadow and fierce lines. The deceptively simple costume comes to life coating Katniss in glowing embers.

"How did you do this?" She asks, eyes full of admiration and a different fire from that of her costume.

"Portia and I spent a great deal of time watching fires," Says Cinna. "Now look at yourself."

"Thank you. Cinna, this is just what I needed to face….the others." Katniss would be blushing if her thick makeup did not hide the fact.

Cinna's hands run over her lightly with the familiar surety of one who knows his touch is desired. He pulls Katniss gently against him from behind. "Yes, I think your days of pink lipstick and ribbons are behind you."

She blinks her agreement. "Thanks to you, I am glad they are. You are perfect. So perfect."

Cinna kisses her shoulder. "No waving, no smiling this time. They are beneath your notice."

"Finally, something I am good at." Katniss says.

Cinna raises one eyebrow at her, "The other thing is my secret alone. A woman on fire. The girl is gone now. The greatest honor of my life, Katniss. My most secret treasure. Thank you for this day."

Katniss heads to the ground floor of the Remake Center. Haymitch and Peeta are not there yet, but Finnick Odair is. He seems determined to talk to her. He speaks of secrets to her and she wonders if he has guessed that she is no longer a little girl. He offers her sugar and she asks to borrow his very tiny costume.

He tips his head in so that his lips are almost in contact with Katniss. Is he some sort of bloodhound, who can spot ripe fruit? "What about you, girl on fire? Do you have any secrets worth my time?" his head tilts as if he might kiss her.

Katniss holds her ground, refusing to let him back her down. "I am an open book. Everyone else seems to know my secrets before I do." She narrows her eyes studying his reaction.

He looks at her purple lips for a moment and just an inch away he waits. He meets her eyes and smiles. "Unfortunately, I think that's true. Peeta's coming." His glance is sly but he inhales deeply as he gives her body suit a knowing look. He winks and moves on.

Peeta wants to know what Finnick wanted. He wonders if she is joking when Katniss tells him. Katniss looks up into his blue eyes, that no amount of makeup could quite make deadly and realizes she is so glad it is Peeta here, right this moment, and not Haymitch. Haymitch would have already caught her eyes searching the crowd for Cinna and been suspicious.

Peeta and Katniss play the role of the unforgiving to the crowd this year. Katniss sees President Snow fixate on her as much as the rest of the crowd and knows Cinna has done more than set her on fire. One way or another, she will burn.

After the doors to the training center close, Peeta and Katniss finally relax. Cinna and Portia complement them on the performance. Cinna's mouth turns up at the corners slightly and Katniss can't help but long to return to the activities of the afternoon. Haymitch is talking to the mentors from District 11 and nods to Peeta and Katniss. Seeder and Chaff softly convey that the families of Rue and Thresh are alive. Without warning, Chaff pulls Katniss into a big hug and kisses her right on the mouth. It makes her furious and she wonders if she is wearing a sign that says she just had sex.

She searches the room to see if Cinna saw this and is thankful to see his back turned as she jerks back, startled. Haymitch and Chaff laugh at her. They think it is quite the funny joke. Even Peeta snickers with them. They are all soon headed to the elevators and Johanna Mason from District 7 rides with Peeta and Katniss. She performs a complete striptease right in front of them while talking about dresses and paint the whole time. Peeta can't hide the wayward glances he is casting her way as she stands without a stitch on and completely unaware that it might make anyone uncomfortable. Or, maybe she is just naked to get Peeta's attention.

Katniss tosses aside Peeta's hand as soon as they step out of the elevator. Peeta laughs and says "It's because of you that they are like this. They are playing with you because you're so…you know?"

"What?" Katniss asks with disgust.

"You couldn't even look at me naked in the arena. You are so, you know…pure!" He says shrugging and laughing.

"I am not Pure." Katniss says almost mad enough to let Peeta have it about her real activities this afternoon. She glares at him with a touch of the attitude she's had on the chariot. "You are all just laughing at me."

"They are just teasing you."

"And so are you." Katniss spits at him, disgusted with him. He starts to protest but Haymitch steps off the elevator and glares in Katniss' direction with his hard furious expression. Great, he must know already. Katniss sighs, knowing this will be a blow up.

Effie brightly says, "We have a matched set this year."

Katniss turns to see what she means and stares into the eyes of Darious. A chill runs through the girl dressed in fire, and Haymitch is instantly at her side. His hand is on her wrist instructing Katniss with his silent advice. Any move she makes will cause Darius to be punished. Katniss yanks her hand from Haymitch's grip. He watches her stomp to her room and lock the door.

Within two minutes there is a knock on the door. "She won't answer. Wasting your time Cinna." Haymitch grouches just as the door cracks open and her eye presses to the gap.

"Katniss?" Cinna says.

A glance at Haymitch, nears the realm of hateful and the door swings wide for Cinna to enter. She slams it and locks it again to some comment Haymitch is making with curses under his breath.

She is in Cinna's arms and silent sobs wrack her. "I am sorry Katniss." He says, having been filled in by Haymitch. "A friend?" He whispers to her. She nods. "A boyfriend?" He asks.

"No. But a good guy. Tried to save Gale. Even being near those who are near me is not safe. Oh God Cinna, what have I done to you?" Katniss looks at Cinna in the dark, the only light in the room coming from her.

"You can do nothing to me, I have not chosen. I wouldn't trade today for all the rest of them combined." He kisses her softly and they stand in place, falling deeper into desire, needing the other as the power pack fades on her suit and the material glows less. Finally Cinna presses the button on her wrist and in the darkness they find the bed and quietly exchange the other magical fire they have discovered.

Everyone is quiet at dinner. Katniss can barely look up from her plate, as Darius is forced to serve her every dinner need. He moves slowly eyes down, but every once in a while he gets in a place where Katniss and he are in each others direct line of vision and then her eyes sparkle. Haymitch is in much the same mood, drinking and watching the new attendant with sorrow in his eyes. Cinna watches Katniss placidly, while Peeta, Portia and Effie speak of tributes, training scores and the costumes.

When it is time to watch the opening ceremonies, Katniss wedges herself between Cinna and Haymitch. She still intends to save him, but Peeta has made her so angry with the way he is acting that she doesn't have to be hooked to him every second. He can't understand how bad Darius being here hurts. Haymitch knows, Cinna understands. Peeta is merchant. The most Darius could be to him is a customer.

Cinna plays with Katniss' braid absently and she leans on his shoulder, wishing they were alone again, wondering if they ever will be again. At the end of the ceremonies, Cinna says he's tired. Katniss gives him a hug, and a quiet thank you, knowing he knows what it means.

She sits back down next to Haymitch and he narrows his eyes at her. "Don't expect me to pet you. Never liked cats, sweetheart."

"You look so pretty tonight Haymitch. Showers look amazing on you. Vomit dates you. To bad your aftershave can't hide that overpowering smell of mean." Katniss grouches back and decides - to heck with it. She gives the whole room a blanket goodnight and shuffles off to her room.

The movement in the room as she enters startles her. "I think Haymitch saw me." Cinna says softly.

"He did. He made me mad so I would come to bed." She tells him.

"I don't want to hurt anyone with this, Katniss."

"I am too tired of trying to please everyone to care." Katniss wraps her arms around him. "Thank you."

"How sore are you?" He asks kindly.

"Not bad. Not bad enough to turn you away," She says blushing.

He kissed her and soon they were moving silently under the covers. When the knock sounds on the door, she doesn't answer.

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><p><em><strong>I have editied this several times now - and the save feature jumps the shark and I have to start over. (any errors may have been caught the 1st four times so forgive me) I decided to split this beings it was going over my one shot spot. So i will get the rest up when this site decides to let me. I plan to do several odd pairing in the future - including a few I have never seen done - ever...Just to see if i can find a spot to launch them. I love the BIG three too, but I prefer canon to launch, not be set in stone. <strong>_

_***************Please Review**************_

_**^v^ ^v^ ^v^ ^v^**_


	2. Chapter two

Pleasure to burn - chapter two

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn  
><strong>Summary<strong>: _Katniss and Cinna may have shared more than ability to keep cool in the face of danger. They may have shared burning flames that were more than symbolic._  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Katniss/Cinna , Katniss/Peeta,

**Author notes**:

I am going to do some odd pairs just for the challenge of figuring out how to wrap it in canon. Cinna/Katniss has a few fun possible moments to me – see what you think and review.

_Bonus material - warning, may contain any of the following ingredients –(old people, language. Spoilers, Sexual discussion, ghosts, sex, smexy lemons, smutty thoughts, sexual reference, sexual innuendo, reference to past violence, sadness, bondage, violence, dead characters being discussed, alcohol use, caffeine use, reference to man love, unintended exhibitionism, naked people, infidelity, torture, reference to adultery, reference to other persecuted unacceptable sex (threesome), reference to possible non-consent and prostitution -whew the warning alone could be hazardous) If you have any allergies to these subjects, please take appropriate measures for your maturity level. Side effects may include but not be limited to: flaming of the author, Pm grouchiness, and unwanted hair growth. _

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><p>XXXXXX<p>

Cinna kisses the drowsy girl softly as he gets up to leave. He lays out her clothing for her, for in the morning. Katniss soon drops off but is tortured by nightmares of tongues. She orders in the next morning, but by 9:30, Haymitch is pounding on her door telling her to get to the dinning room NOW! She dawdles more, just to show him she can.

She meanders into the dinning room, empty except for Peeta and Haymitch. "You're Late!" Haymitch snarls.

"Sorry, I slept in after the mutilated tongue nightmares kept me up half the night." Katniss says with hostility.

"Yes, I did hear something right around four am." Haymitch leans toward Katniss and scowls. "Alright today, stay in love and find someone Useful to you in the arena and make friends."

They debate the merits of making allies or just going it alone. Haymitch is steering toward the careers, but Katniss wants none of that. Haymitch is annoyed she seems unwilling to consider Finnick Odair and Brutus. Katniss makes friends with Nuts, Volts and Mags. When Katniss displayed her real shooting skill, not considering it any secret beings her games had been on television last year, something changed among the victors.

As soon as she entered the floor that evening, Haymitch glared at her and stepped in her room, closing the door behind them. She sighed. "What did I do now, Haymitch?"

He looks down at her and smirks. "Seeing Cinna tonight, sweetheart?"

Katniss sighs. "So what. I guess you're mad, right?"

"The boy hasn't caught on. See that he doesn't." He growls.

"I know." Katniss says with shame.

Haymitch nods, but his face softens as it only can when they are alone. "I understand. I thought it would be Finn. He would have been more useful to you. Hard to kill you if he's enjoyed you." Haymitch says in a matter of fact way. "Cinna, I did not expect."

Katniss meets his eyes and smirks. "Cinna thought it should be You. I told him you hate my guts."

His eyes soften even more and glitter playfully. "Of course I do. Doesn't mean I would have turned you down."

Katniss sighs. She looks at him and bursts out laughing. Haymitch grins. "I hope you are pleased with you choice. Peeta thinks he is being noble or some such crap. There are rumors, sweetheart. The arena may be very unpleasant for you. At least it won't be all you know."

Katniss sees the fear in his eyes. She nods one time, letting him know that she understands what he is saying. "Is that all?"

"Be nice to Finnick. He is trustworthy. I trust him with the two people I care about."

She grins. "Who? Peeta and Chaff?"

"Precisely." He scowls at her. "Any more displays, save it for the arena."

"Got it. So you aren't mad? About Cinna?"

"I'm not mad, if you can keep it together. I am jealous as hell, but I am not mad." She sees from his expression, he is only about half teasing.

"Shut up." She waits for Haymitch to reach the door. "Of course if you had showered earlier in the week," She shrugs.

Haymitch can't help but smile all the way to his eyes. "I'll keep that in mind, sweetheart. I will keep that in mind."

"One more thing?"

He turns and still has that mean grin on his face, the one he really saves only for her. "God your fickle now. Cinna should be here soon. Wait a couple hours."

"Cinna said you had some famous skills? What skills? You never struck me as skilled. Harmless seemed more likely." Katniss teased folding her arms and looking wide eyed. Her absolute disbelief is meant to get his goat and annoy him.

Haymitch winks at her. "We are even then. I thought you were frigid. I only have one way of teaching my enormous skills class. Stick to your intermediate guide for now. I am more of an advanced course, sweetheart." He looks her up and down in a non-mentor way, smirks and walks out of the room, not closing the door.

Katniss watched the door for a couple of minutes. He was different here. She could almost believe he knew stuff. After a few minutes she joined he and Peeta out in the dining room. Her mood instantly crashed when Darius set a place for her.

For the next two days, training goes smoothly. Katniss becomes more comfortable with the others. She and Peeta have found the people they would have been friends with if it hadn't been for the Quell, if they had had a chance to be mentors, to be strangely easy to care about. It crosses their minds that all of these people they must kill, belong to Haymitch as much as they do. Even Finnick, with his inappropriate flirtations and his charm, has more to him then what they expected.

Katniss and Finnick develop a strange flirty routine. He flirts and she pretends he has no redeeming qualities, yet they even trade archery lessons for trident training. Katniss hopes her skill is not the end of Finnick. She wonders at his other skills and returns his banter with double entendres of her own.

"Rotate your shoulder more, you must pull your power from your center, not just your arm." He says with exacting demonstration. He steps behind her and moves her body through the motion while wrapping his arm around her front, to better control her balance and discuss which muscles should be firing at each stage of the throw. It looks suggestive, but he is actually serious and knowledgeable at that moment.

Only after several adjustments and some measured improvement does he revert to his flirting. "I could do this all day Mockingjay and it might lead to you being impaled in a different way. I am free for private lessons this evening if you would like to sneak away?" He says just in her ear.

"I am flattered you would consider fitting me in, what with all your other lessons. I wouldn't want to take your time, or learn any skills I won't have time to use." Katniss murmurs back.

Something just passes on Finnick's face for a second. He hides it quickly, but Katniss wonders how much of his surface is cracking. "I think my teaching career has run it's course. The girl on fire is all smoke and mirrors."

"No, I just know when something's fishy. Fire and water don't mix."

Finnick's voice drops to sultry levels, "Don't forget water also quenches fire. Maybe you need a little quenching?"

"I don't put out so easily. Your trident isn't a match for my bow. I could have an arrow through your heart so fast, you would never see me coming." Katniss turns and faces Finnick smiling at him with cool amusement. She doesn't know she is making the same face Haymitch uses, But Finn sees the resemblance at once.

"Oh I would, but I imagine you know that. Your mentor has been busy?" He sighs with regret.

Katniss is unsure of what he means now, but covers her confusion with a shrug. "Thanks for the instructions." She says and heads off to find Peeta.

At night Cinna sneaks into her room. That is the only part of the day she really cares about, but it bleeds into her day with more smiles and cheerfulness then she has ever displayed.

On the last day of training, Katniss actually jokes and laughs with the others not really paying attention to how quietly Peeta observes her. At lunch that day, Mags says she is going to take a nap for the gamemakers. Katniss and Peeta are the last to be called. He offers her his hand and she takes it, feeling the chill of death as the room slowly empties of the new friends. The people they must soon kill to survive, feel more than absent from the room. She imagines them gone from the world as if it is a premonition of the games.

She thinks of sweet Mags. She even has a blushing thought or two of Finnick dead, wondering if she would regret not taking him up on his offer once all possibility had passed. Had he asked her to be his last rendezvous as some form of complement? Or was he just stuck in the training center and she was the easy option? It seemed like he would have picked Johanna Mason with her oiled breasts and random nudity.

She thought of the years she'd watched Haymitch drink with Chaff during the games of her childhood. She didn't want Haymitch to have to watch her kill his friend. She knew he was already sentenced to watch her die. If she didn't get Peeta out safely, Haymitch would have nobody again.

"How are we going to kill these people?" She asks quietly.

"I don't know." Peeta replies lowering his forehead to their intertwined hands.

It is forty minutes from the time Peeta leaves the room until she is called. She gives an inspired performance again this year. She makes an impression on Gamekeeper Heavensbee, though not as amusing to her as the punch bowl last year.

At dinner Peeta is describing how he painted Rue on the floor. Haymitch is for once in agreement with Effie on the fact that it may have been a poor choice. Katniss announces her own session.

Cinna tilts his head at her and his voice is, for once, not calm and measured. "You …hung …Seneca Crane?"

She meets his eyes and knows he has just now truly realized he's going to have to watch her die. She can see it filling shadows of distant knowledge with solid real death. She will end and he will have to get through it somehow.

"Oh, Katniss…" Effie leaves the table in tears.

Peeta chooses this moment to announce, "And Haymitch? We decided we don't want any allies."

Haymitch is scowling. "Good. That means you won't be getting any of my friends killed with your stupidity."

When they rise to go to the sitting room, Cinna's arm slips around Katniss. "Come on. Lets get those scores."

"Have they ever given a zero?" Katniss asks him hoping to lighten the mood. She would rather just escape the viewing and spend the time privately with Cinna. He has let his mask slide too far and she can see what he thinks more clearly than ever.

"No. But there is always a first time." He says casually, but the meaning hangs in the air to her. She has quashed his only tiny hope that she would somehow return. His eyes flash resolved loss as he struggles to keep his expression arranged placidly.

When Peeta and Katniss both pull twelve for their score, making history, Cinna's grip on Katniss' hand tightens. His expression is blank.

Haymitch growls with disgust "Go to bed. I can't stand the sight of either one you right now. Cinna you may as well put bull's-eyes on their interview outfits."

Katniss glances at Cinna. "I will see you before your interview." He informs her carefully. Katniss only nods, offering no reply. The interview was day after tomorrow. Tomorrow was preparation for the interview, coaching. He was telling her he would not be visiting her this evening. Maybe he had bull-eyes to sew on.

She goes slowly down the hall, knowing she is sleeping alone tonight. She sighs at that unexpected twist. She has gotten through the day with that to look forward to and now, she is denied. Finnick Odair flashes through her mind. Alone is much more frightening than he is. She casts a seditious look back at Cinna.

Peeta walks beside her and she impulsively clasps him to her and lays her head on his chest. "I am sorry if I made things worse." She says sincerely.

His arms slide around her and he sighs, "No worse than I did. I don't know that it matters, to be honest…" Peeta shrugs and watches her as he admits what he's felt all along.

"We won't last the first day?" Katniss interjects. "Snow already has us?"

"The odds of dieing early are defiantly in our favor." Peeta says with a melancholy smile.

Katniss searches his blue eyes and suddenly feels overwhelmed with freedom. "So what do you want to do with our last few days?"

"I just want to spend every minute of the rest of my life with you." Peeta replies.

She glances back down the hallway, deciding, and then pulls Peeta into her room. "Come on then."

They settle comfortably in the large bed. Peeta feels like a luxury next to Katniss as she rests her head on his shoulder. "Peeta? Do you ever think about being with me?"

Peeta stiffens and his breath catches as he replies. "Of course I do. All the time."

Katniss raises her head. "But?"

"But I don't want to push you." He says delicately, "This is enough."

She lays her head back down. "Are you a virgin?"

He takes a long time to answer debating on if he should tell her the truth. "No, Katniss. I'm not. I am sorry."

She pops her head up again in surprise. "Who? Wait never mind, it doesn't matter."

"I'm sorry. I meant to wait…"

"Don't be. It's fine. I'm not either." She holds her breath waiting for his response.

"Gale." He says as if it's a given.

She looks in his eyes and smiles. "No. Not Gale."

He eyes widen in disbelief. "Then who?"

"It doesn't matter and I am not going to tell you. It wasn't Gale." She shifts position. "Was it nice for you?"

"It was ok. It wasn't you." Peeta says, "And you? Was it nice for you?"

Katniss nods. "It was. I don't regret it. But it wasn't you either. Are you mad?"

"Finnick Odair?" he asks.

"Offered, but I turned him down. He invited me for private lessons tonight. And every night since I have been here. Whether he meant with his trident or some other instrument of impalement, we never quite cleared up." She giggled.

He grinned. "I am flattered. You could be there, right now, learning all his secrets and crunching sugar cubes with him. But, you are here."

"Yes. We are here. Alone. In bed. About to die probably? So what objections do you have? Are you afraid you will ruin my reputation?" She teases.

"Who says I had objections?" He smiles at her.

"Haymitch says you are being noble." She grins back.

His eyes open wide in fear, "It wasn't him, was it?"

"God no. Jerk! It doesn't matter who. Haymitch is supposedly an advanced degree or something. I didn't drill you with questions. Why do you want to know? It has nothing to do with this moment."

He sighs. "You're right."

"I mean in a way, that is a good thing. No first time jitters or fear. Does it change your mind about me? Knowing I am not as pure as you thought? We don't have to if you don't want to…"

"Do you want to?" He whispers.

"Yes. I do." Her voice warbles a little, fearing he is disappointed in her.

He doesn't answer her at first. "So long as it wasn't Haymitch," He grins with malice, "I might have to kill him. It would make me worry what else he's up to behind my back."

"It wasn't, but I don't think we should ever assume we know what he's really up to."

"I know what we are about to be up to. If you're sure, sweetheart?" He rolls to his side and his eyes are filled with lust yet cautious, but not shy.

Katniss presses her lips to Peeta. There is no hurry, yet now that it has been decided, they can't get undressed fast enough. They are petting heavily and moving together, when Katniss lets out a squeal of pain. Peeta's artificial leg has captured a hunk of skin from her thigh and pinched it.

"I'm sorry, does it hurt?" Peeta says mortified with embarrassment. Holding ice to the bloodied mark. The hinge mechanism had bent just right and she had moved wrong. Much more and the skin would have crimped and she would have had to be taken to medical services with a hunk of flesh removed two days before the arena. He felt horrible.

"Take it off." Katniss says, softly. "You don't need it for this."

Peeta looks down, his ears stinging red. He shakes his head. "It embarrasses me, without it."

"People looking at my boobs embarrasses me Peeta, but not when you do it. You never complain, but it must kill you to wear it all the time." Katniss sits up and loops her arms around him.

"I wanted this to be perfect, and now we are talking about my ugly stump, and you have a massive bruise. Haymitch is right. I am as useless to you as high heels to coalminers."

"That is not true at all. You only have a short leg, because you sacrificed the rest of it to save me. It isn't ugly to me. Every time I see it, I think about, how much you love me. Nobody could ever love me that much again." Katniss says with surety.

Peeta looks at her as if she must be setting him up in some way. "It's hideous."

A knock on the door froze them both. Haymitch's voice sounds hesitant. "I heard a yelp."

Katniss opens the door partway. "It was nothing. I am fine." She says with a smirk and her eyes widening at him to convey this was not the best time.

"Well what happened? You don't make that noise for nothing. Only heard it…last year." Haymitch has his foot acting as a doorjamb.

"Peeta's leg got me on accident." She finally says taking the ice away to give him a good look. Haymitch steps in and goes down on one knee, examining the injury to Katniss and Peeta's dismay.

Haymitch runs his fingers over the area, face full of concern rather than his normal disgust. He stands back up and sighs, embarrassed now that he has assessed there to be no crisis. "This close you cant take chances. Broken skin, I would have had to send you for treatment. Infection is boring but deadly. You know that. Try not to damage each other this year. "

"I love you too, Haymitch. Goodnight." Katniss said in a smarmy voice.

"Hhhmmph. Well, keep it down. Idiots." Haymitch says stomping down the hall.

Katniss closes the door and locks it. She returns to the bed and begins undoing Peeta's artificial leg for him.

"Stop. What are you doing?" Peeta asks. "I mean, that kinda spoiled the whole thing. I don't want to now."

"Oh, Ok." Katniss shrugs and begins digging around for cloths. She puts on, not a nightgown, but a sundress and flats. She unbraids her hair and fluffs it.

"What are you doing? You look like your going somewhere?" Peeta asks confused.

Katniss turns and smiles. "You got me all... you know. Now you don't want to. I guess Finn is my last resort."

"Like hell he is." Peeta has his leg off in two quick movements, uses it to hook her and pull her close, and yanks her onto the bed. "You think I would let you walk out that door without a fight?" He rolls on top of her, half joking but half angered.

She doesn't protest his weight on top of her. "It crossed my mind that you might."

He is letting his hands roam boldly on her, his breath sharp and rapid. "Is that all it matters? Substitute one of us for the other. You want his pretty face and his muscles, touching you?" He glares at her and rips the front of the dress, ruining it. He pulls again, sending the buttons down the front, flying. His hands claim her skin possessively.

"I want you. But if one knock on the door is all it takes to make this offer go away for you. I don't want to push you either. Not very flattering Peeta. All the nights you never touched me, never even tried. It's one thing to be a gentleman for our future. It's another to be pushed away when…there isn't one."

"Don't say it. No." Peeta growls. He has basically exposed her again and is touching her in a rough hungry way.

"I will say it. We have now. Nothing else. Just now. If you want to waste it playing games and sacrificing for someday, I won't stop you. But I want more. I want to feel all the things I never will again. I want to be selfish and stop measuring every word I utter. Nobody can judge me now. They won't have time." She is near hysteria, yet not being loud.

His mouth rises from her. "So if I say no you will run off and hop in Finnick Odair's bed? Who it is doesn't matter. Only that?"

She rises up on her elbows and looks at him. "Who does matter Peeta. You are missing the point. I wasn't going to Finn's, but you haven't worried about your leg one time since you started destroying my little dress. You were too bothered that you might be letting this chance slip through your fingers. That was the point." She kisses him, demanding him and pleading with him to let the world off the hook for a while. "There is no perfect. But it is perfect if you decide it is."

He groans. "You have got to stop hanging around with Haymitch."

She laughs. "If Finn said no, I was out of other ideas." She teases.

"Are you turning into a little slut Katniss?" Peeta says this, but from the look on his face she can tell he doesn't mean this in an offensive way. He wants her to want him. He wants her to be so swept with it all that he knows without doubt that he is doing the right thing.

"Maybe. I can't help what you do to me Peeta. If that feeling makes me a slut, then I don't care. Who do you want? Perfect or Slut?" She asks in the same tone she uses with Finnick.

Peeta shakes his head and swallows. "God Katniss, I don't care. Whoever you are, I want you." He removes his boxers finally.

He entered her slowly and gently; moving imperceptibly slow and almost like it was hurting him. She was surprised at how different he felt from Cinna. She smiled realizing each person was a unique experience in this area. Each tasted different and felt different and loved in a world all by themselves. Being with Cinna didn't make Peeta any less special. Him having been with someone before her, didn't make her any less exciting to him. Katniss decided that each lover, each time, is a perfect treasure if you don't let the games mess it up.

Soon he was moving franticly on top of her and the feelings were delicious and sweet, though she was so focused on him she had not built up her own tension. Peeta cried out. "No. No No…I can't…" He collapsed on her shuddering. She just held him amused. When he looked at her finally, there were tears of horror in his eyes. "I am so sorry."

"For what? Just the first round. We have hours. Don't panic." Katniss soothed. She rolled him on his back forcefully and bent her mouth to him. She was elated by his shock and she moaned at the pleasant way they tasted combined on him.

"Katniss, what are you…Oh my god. That…That…." His words took on less ability to form as she treated him to the entirely unexpected sensation. Peeta looked at her in wonder and touched her hair like it was spun gold.

Katniss held onto the headboard balancing herself as she raised and lowered herself in soft sweet rhythm. Peeta used his free hands to explore her and he was fascinated when her eyes squeezed shut and she began rocking without any seeming knowledge of how fast she was moving or the sounds she was making. The headboard was beginning to thump softly on the wall but he loved this whole picture too much to even mention toning it down any.

Haymitch and Cinna were just walking to the elevators as the noises began to be an obvious sound of a specific activity. Haymitch stopped quietly by the door and rolled his eyes to Cinna with a smile. Cinna listened intently for a few seconds before a beaming grin crept slowly up his face to his eyes.

"Looks like they finally made a go of it?" Haymitch whispers.

"Yes. It would seem." Cinna replies.

Haymitch gives him a questioning look. "You did good Cinna."

"It was my pleasure to burn. I do truly love that child. You can't imagine." Cinna says wistfully. He pushes the button for the elevator.

"Yes I can. You lucky bastard." Haymitch says with a friendly clap on the stylists back.

Cinna bowed slightly. "Indeed. For where would I have been without your many interventions on my behalf. I do miss our, lessons."

Haymitch tilted his head and sighed deeply. "As do I Cinna Snow. As do I"

"Perhaps again someday."

"It's a deal. I promise, sweetheart." Haymitch said with eyes filled with longing, as the elevator doors closed softly.

The exciting part was about to take place within the kid's room and Haymitch couldn't help but pause and listen for a moment. It wasn't meant in perversion, but hearing them enjoying each other finally, somehow soothed his heart for them. He couldn't lose them. This mess of his had better work.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Evil Grin – Did that one pop you? Hope my twists are hitting you like freight trains - Now you know where the scars came from? I actually have no idea who Peeta was with - he didn't tell me. If you want to snoop, let me know – I will ask Haymitch. He probably knows.<strong>_


	3. Chapter 3

**Pleasure to burn - chapter three**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn  
><strong>Summary<strong>: _Katniss and Peeta share a last peaceful day. A revelation from Finn may be trouble. Katniss does a bad thing. Haymitch does a bad thing. _  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Katniss/Cinna Katniss/Peeta , Finnick, Haymich

**Author notes**:

**Warning:**_ may contain any of the following ingredients –(old people, language. Spoilers, Sexual discussion, ghosts, sex, smexy lemons, smutty thoughts, sexual reference, sexual innuendo, reference to past violence, sadness, bondage, violence, dead characters being discussed, alcohol use, caffeine use, reference to man love, unintended exhibitionism, naked people, infidelity, torture, reference to adultery, reference to other persecuted unacceptable sex (threesome), reference to possible non-consent and prostitution -whew the warning alone could be hazardous) If you have any allergies to these subjects, please take appropriate measures for your maturity level. Side effects may include but not be limited to: flaming of the author, Pm grouchiness, and unwanted hair growth._

* * *

><p>Peeta and Katniss don't want to start the day, so they lie there for a long time, just looking at each other and holding on to the moment. The lock turns and the Avox girl hands them a note. Effie and Haymitch have decided to give them the day off. They are thrilled. They order breakfast and eat it in bed, talking of childhood and wishing they could go somewhere.<p>

They make love, shower, make love again and shower again before they make it out on the roof. The two sit in the rooftop garden with the wind-chimes and Peeta draws Katniss. The sunset is viewed together and neither even wants to go down for dinner. A whole lifetime of memory is crammed into the afternoon and all is peaceful between them.

Just at dark they are invaded. Finnick doesn't see them right away. He is staring up at the sky searching for something. "Finnick? Are you ok?" Katniss says gently, but startles him anyway.

.

Katniss stands and walks over to him. "Finn? What's wrong?"

He sighs heavily. "Just searching. I look for Orion here, but the lights of the city are too bright. I always tell her I can see him, but I never can. Not in this place. There is nothing good here. There never was."

"I don't understand."

"They will put her away when I am gone. If I die, they will take her from the sea and she will die slower, but she will die. Katniss, what will they do when we are gone?" He ask quietly looking over at Peeta.

Katniss had no idea who he was talking about that would be taken away. "They will have to move on. They have to live past us. It will be ok Finn."

"And if it isn't? You really have no idea what they have planned for you, do you?"

"You mean the part about what is to be done before killing me?"

His eyes close. "That's part of it." He leans back as if imagining the stars he can't see.

"Is it you?"

"Whoever it is, wins." He says as if to himself.

"Tempting. So are you planning on winning Finnick Odair?" Katniss asks with the calm of dinner conversation though her stomach is twisting into knots.

Finn looks at her and smiles sadly. "If I were, do you think I would be out here saying my goodbye's?" He sighs and doesn't give her time to say another word. "Don't trust anyone girl on fire. Trusting people will get you burned every time." He looks over at Peeta and back at her.

"Should I trust you?" Katniss asks blocking his path to the exit.

He bends to her and kisses her tenderly as if Peeta is not sitting there. "Doesn't matter if you do or not, I won't let them hurt you."

Peeta was storming toward Finnick. "Get away from her." He yells.

Finn smiles at him and holds up his hands. "She can't keep her hands off me brother! What can I say?"

"Peeta, Its fine!" Katniss says holding her hand out as if in crowd control.

"Really?" Peeta says, eyes narrowing. "Maybe not with me."

"Guess you better explain to him Pretty Kitty. He's not going to like it much." Finn says then walks away.

Katniss looks at Peeta, his face has turned ash in the moonlight. "Peeta. It isn't what you.."

"You lied to me Katniss. You didn't have to tell me but you didn't have to lie." He returns to the picnic, packing it up. Peeta never shows he's angry by throwing things, but he goes away. They don't have months for him to ignore her this time.

"Peeta. Please just listen…" Katniss begins.

"Don't worry about it. You say it wasn't Gale. It had to be this week." He won't meet her eyes.

"It wasn't Finnick Odair!" she says low and dangerous.

"Liar." Peeta says.

"You're the liar Peeta. You agreed it didn't matter. You're the one who found someone. I don't care who it was. You lied. You let me wear all the blame when it was some other girl you were really hiding. You wasted our time on her."

"Them, Katniss. Not just one. We weren't together. You had no hold on me." He smiles as if he's pleased that she is making such a face.

"Them? Then why do you even care? Them. And you stand there…"Katniss is shocked. She can't help that she is. All this time he'd acted so wounded and pathetic and it had all been an act. "You lied to me for all this time and then you say it matters?"

. "It doesn't. Not at all. Haymitch tried to tell me. But, I believed you. So when You come home, don't bother thinking of me. Looks like you are back to where you started last year. With another fool to hang out to dry. Finnick won't make it either so you will be perfectly free. Have a nice life Katniss." He heads to the door.

"What are you saying Peeta? Pretend all you want, but it won't matter. Either we both die or you come home. That is all there is. They won't let me win. I have no chance. None. Get it through your head. I will be lucky to make it past the first hour."

"I will still protect you. That isn't changing." He says stoically.

"Yes it is. If you are near me they will kill you too. I don't want to be allies."

"Then you better kill me first Katniss. Because I only took Haymitch's place with one goal. Maybe I don't live up to Finnick or Haymitch. Maybe I should have treated you like Finnick. Rushing you into something you were not ready for. Doesn't matter now. He told you to explain it to me. I don't need it. I am not that stupid. You said last night, you don't regret him. I am glad. For you, I am glad. I do regret it. I regret that I ever found out. Now leave me alone. Go give your capitol man his pleasure."

"Peeta wait. Please Peeta! Please." Katniss has never begged before but Peeta is walking away and he doesn't understand anything. She doesn't chase after him. She just sits.

The last twenty-for hours stretch out in her memory. It is enough. Maybe they will ignore him until after they get her. She will stay at the cornucopia and take out as many targets as possible. Johanna Mason could do it. Enobaria could too. The sooner she is out of the picture, the better chance Peeta has. If one of the male tributes do it, they win. Finnick vowed to protect her. What would it take to get him to protect Peeta instead?

Katniss steps onto the elevator and presses the button for district four. She has no idea which room is his. She feels like an intruder on this floor of cool greens and blues. She is used to the reds and golds of District 11. It never occurred to her she would feel like she was stepping into another universe. This floor has soft carpet and the sound of rushing water sooths from a wall size fountain. The floor is arranged exactly like the one upstairs.

A short black-headed Avox appears next to her. He says nothing but the inquiry on his face is enough. "Finnick Odair?"

The Avox bows and bids her to follow. She likes the way the hallway seems painted into colorful repeating waves. It feels peaceful here. The Avox indicates a door. Katniss raises her hand and knocks. There is no answer for a long time.

"Who is it? I am not accepting appointments." A voice says gruff and angry.

"Finnick? It is just Katniss. I wanted to talk to you…"

His door swings open. "What are you doing here?" He doesn't look pretty.

Katniss drops her eyes. What is she doing here? "I don't have any idea. I didn't mean to disturb you." She says realizing from his quickly donned robe that she must be intruding on some girl and he, "Sorry."

She practically runs down the hall and hits the elevator button several times. She can hear him walking down the hall, but she glares straight at the elevator doors, hoping they will open to a black hole she can step off into.

"Katniss? Where are you going now? Where's Prince Perfect?" Finnick asks.

"Away. I forgot you would probably…have company." She says silently begging the elevator to ding.

"I don't have anyone. Please. What did you need? It's Ok, you know, I only bite on the smutty channels when they tell me to."

"What?" Katniss has no idea what he is talking about.

"Never mind. Katniss? You said you wanted to talk." He speaks calmly.

Katniss slowly turns her head. Finn stands there in a deep burgundy robe made of something slick and shiny. "I shouldn't have come."

"Ok. But you did. So at least stay for three minutes. Please." He seems so sincere. She had just used those words and found them worthless.

"I didn't mean to bother you. You look, not yourself." She says quietly, really lost at how old he looked. "Finnick"

He paints his face with a smile. "It's alright, come on." Finnick offers his arm. Katniss takes it and he leads her to his room. It is all done in blacks and sandy tans.

"It looks like District 12 in here. A mine shaft." She comments.

"Never thought of it like that." he says looking around with amusement. He waits for her to say something more. He pulls her close and begins kissing her. His robe is opening and she realizes he has nothing on underneath.

Katniss is not expecting this, but as she pulls away, he simply clamps tighter. It feels strange, emotionless as if he's not even in there. She tucks her head down. ""Finnick stop." She says still trying to gently wiggle away. His robe hangs open now and she can't help but catch a glimpse of his offering. He doesn't have a hair on his body below his ears.

"Don't worry baby. I'll take care of you." Finnick says, but it isn't like he's trying to be sexy. He just sounds bored or tired.

She shoves him away. "I don't need taking care of."

He sighs exasperated. "Sure you do. It's what you're here for. It's the only thing any of you ever want from me. It fine. But I am just too tired to play the seducing cad tonight. So if you don't mind, lets just skip it and…" he is heading towards her again.

"I don't want anything from you. Least of all that. I have more of that then I know what to do with. Besides, you're like kissing something, not quite alive. Blech, what is that?" Katniss demands wiping her mouth.

Anger flashes in his face. "One of those are you. Alright. I love you. You are torturing me with your beautiful eyes and when you smile it lights up the room. Please darling, I can't help myself. Let me take you to the …"

"Were you insane an hour ago?" Katniss says, backing toward the door slowly. "I will just be heading upstairs now. Big day tomorrow and all…"

Finnick rolls his eyes. "Just tell me what you want and I will do it. God why are you making this so hard. I am not in the mood for this crap!" His robe must be for decorative purposes because he's expecting her to stand there chatting while he is fully exposed.

Physically he is magnificent, but something in his eyes is so full of nothing, he's like a shell. It really gives her the creeps, although knowing what he looks like where his little net had covered during the opening ceremonies certainly put a checkmark on the list of reasons to consider his offers. It shouldn't have been a shock that he would even be perfect and beautiful there.

"Ok so, you are trying to seduce me but I am not letting you do it right? No thank you. I don't want to sleep with you. I'd rather…never mind. I don't know what you are thinking, but just start over without the fake kissing. That is so gross." Katniss says still staying near the door in case she needs to escape.

"Then what do you want? If my kisses are too fake for you. What do you care anyway?" he shouts.

"I don't know." She whispers throat tight and knowing he's going to be easier to kill then she thought. She watches him crumbling before her eyes. The famous Finnick Odair was a complete sham. "Your not even real."

He roars with angry laughter "Katniss. You are brilliant. I have been dead forever. You're the only one to notice. Nothing left of me that isn't plastic or enhanced or rebuilt. You know I am so loved, and not one of them knows I'm dead. But you picked it up in just minutes." He staggers a little as he snaps his fingers..

"Finnick have you been drinking?" Katniss sees his red eyes and how his face sags.

"Not at all. No wish to follow Haymitch. This is better. Makes me feel like I am drowning. I like it. Drowning like a good fisher should. I was a fisher king once upon the deep briny blue. I loved a mermaid but she's drowning too." He is rocking back and forth, eyes going out of focus. His face wears a strange half grin.

"Finnick." Katniss shouts as he nearly falls. She barely steadies him from crashing into a desk. She guides him to the bed and he tries to pull her down with him. "Yes, that's better. Stay with me. Just for a while. Please." Katniss sighs. She looks at the man, sure that this is a terrible idea, but she lets him put his head in her lap and she plays with his hair, watching his eyes droop. Katniss finds herself wondering if every victor is crazy. It would be a terrible thing to find out that Haymitch was the sanest one of all.

Whatever Finnick Odair ingested, he wasn't actually dieing. He slept soundly, a sheen of greasy oil slick on his face. His robe had slid open again. The one part of him awake and ready to play peered at her, with its one eyed glare. She reached out and touched him, so gently like a breeze. He moaned softly.

She couldn't help but smile at the sound. She touched him again and he responded as if he's never been touched with kindness. Katniss really had no idea what was going on in her head but every movement got such a magical response that she kept it up. She carefully moved his head from her lap, intending to simply leave, but something horrible in her stood watching him sleep. The bed creaked when she moved between his splayed legs. She bent her head close to him and could not imagine why that would be awake while the rest of him was completely out. She overwhelmingly wanted to experiment and even though she knew it was wrong, she couldn't help but look at him, so helpless, and wonder if somewhere deep in his subconscious, he would know.

She purses her lips and sends cool breath toward him. He twitches. She giggles and does it again. Her lips near him and she licks and caresses him so gently, yet he moves and groans in his sleep so deliciously it eggs her on. She is just beginning to really decide to stop when his leg begins to quiver. She wondered if he could perhaps complete a mission in his state. Just as the thought occurs, so does a horrific deathly howl from Finnick. He arches ten inches off the bed and he tastes of such sorrow she drinks him in. His eyes never open afterward but his face is calmed and something of the living Finn she saw in him sometimes, returns.

The radiant playful thing wilts and sleeps as she hurriedly arranges the covers and leaves the room, mortified by her actions. If the roles were reversed, what would that be called? Katniss decides that if she is an example, all victors are fanatical lunatics. The Avox nods at her and she breaks down in tears when the elevator doors close.

She has to think fast as they open, for she can see Haymitch pacing drunkenly up and down the hall. She wipes the tears, sniffs and head up, she steps down the hallway with purpose. Haymitch's eyes flash from worried terror, to relief, to anger as if he is only allowed one emotion per heartbeat.

"I thought you were dead. Spit out where you were, before I kill you." Haymitch growls threw his teeth. He is breathing hard and shaking in his anger.

That is it. She can't take any more. She dashes into her room. She quickly tries to close the door but it is shoved back with force and came in contact with her nose before she is sent backwards. She lands hard and hurt her bottom, just as the sting of her nose began throbbing. She sat on the floor holding her face and sobbing so hard it made no sound. She could hear Haymitch yelling at her but the words were simply noise adding to her emotional meltdown.

He yanks her upward by the wrists screaming for her to look at him when he talks to her and then he sees the blood and tears and mean Haymitch melts away. "Ok sweetheart, come here. I'm sorry."

He kindly checks her nose and cleans her up. She sits up on the bathroom counter, back to the mirror while he sees to her. "I am sorry about the door. Cinna will murder me in about eight hours you know. Feel like filling me in on where you took off to? I went up on the roof."

"I went just exactly where he told me to go. Should have looked there. His idea." Her eyes meet Haymitch's, not caring what he thinks she's so miserable with shame.

"Well it never works for me. Never occurred to me you might follow directions." He tries his normal bitter routine. "I suppose you made me a liar. Told him you had never touched Finn."

"Pretty much." She shrugs.

"Perfect. Oh well at least you allied." He smirks.

"Not really."

"I know Finn, Katniss. You may feel guilty, but it wasn't a bad move." He fixes a bag of ice and rests it on her swelling nose.

"He won't even remember." She sighs and starts crying again. "Haymitch, I did something terrible." She spends the next ten minutes explaining. Her words filtered through the bag of ice.

Haymitch stands with his arms crossed, amusement on his face replaced with disbelief. "Do tell sweetheart, do you molest me when you find me passed out and at your mercy?"

She glared at him then pulled the bag away defiantly. "Of course I do. It's the only time you stop being crabby."

"I am feeling a little blackout coming on this minute." He teases.

"Should have thought about that before you broke my nose." she flops the ice back on her face. "Let's tell Peeta it was the only way you could get me to stop forcing your against your will."

"Is it your intent to make him hate both of us for all time?" He shakes his head at her.

"If it would make him win, I would. If he would kill me after. He could win. I would do anything to make that happen." Her voice has lost its playfulness. She is dead serious.

Haymitch's face falls. "Don't say that Katniss. Don't ever say that to me again."

She searches his face and cups his cheek with the palm of her hand. "I'm sorry. You're going to have to get through this. You know there isn't a single hope. Poor Finn thinks he's going to try to stop it. It will just get him killed too. Don't worry, I have a plan."

He takes her hand from his cheek and kisses her palm, "Your plans always suck. Tell me."

She sighs and smiles at him. "No alliances. Not even Peeta. Attack the careers. I am not leaving the cornucopia. Kill everyone who might hurt Peeta until I am dead. Thirty minutes late and you will miss the whole thing."

"Like I said. Your plans suck. You will do no such thing. I am your mentor. You will do as I say." He is blazing in fury.

She smiles tearfully. "Yes, Haymitch."

"Oh you're just screwing with me now. Do you trust me? Do you believe I will hate your guts forever more?" He asks softly pulling her head to his and staring in her eyes.

"Of course. Yes. Pure loathing." Katniss smiles at him, kisses his forehead. "I know."

"Then give me a chance to figure out something. Stay alive." He whispers in her ear.

She giggles. She rests her head on his shoulder. He doesn't have to see the scowl; it's plain in her voice. "What if. What if the consequences are worse than you can imagine. If I do what you say, can you survive that outcome? No matter how bad? You have to think of the worst thing and promise. I will haunt your ass if you give up."

His arms wrap around her and she returns the embrace. His arms tighten on her and he buries his face in her neck. "I would promise you anything right now, you little witch."

She sighs. It turns into a hissing sob, short but utterly desolate. "Then I will try for you. You're a heartless old windbag and I hope you blubber in front of everyone if it's horrible. I will do anything you say. But you have to save Peeta."

"You are such a pain in my ass." He says in relief.

"Repulsive old fool." She moves suddenly laughing. "Haymitch? What's that?"

He looks down at the huge bulge in his pants. He leans into her. "A lot more than you can handle, sweetheart. Can't have you limping into the arena."

Impulsively she kissed him. He didn't pull away, but claimed her mouth deeply and playfully. He parted from her with his mean smile. "I always did like the way Finn tasted."

"You have been with Finn?" she looked shocked. She hadn't even considered that.

He smirked. "Didn't think the harmless old windbag was always stuck babysitting you, did you?"

"Why aren't you like this at home?'

"I never had to be concerned there was a pervert living next door at home. Now that I know, keeping my doors unlocked and my pants off while I drink." Haymitch cups her head and kisses her carefully on her nose. "You should get some rest. Though I doubt we can do much to prevent the dark circles under your eyes this year."

"I bet Caesar will enjoy hearing how you drunkenly slammed my face into a wall while ripping my clothing off." She says.

"Yes, you would find my post interview torture and execution most entertaining, wouldn't you? But who would send you presents in the game." He asks as if trying to seduce her.

"You crying for mercy would be present enough." She says kissing him sweetly on his chin and cheek.

He lifts her to him and holds her like a doll while kissing her, truly lighting passion in her. She wraps her legs around him and clings to Haymitch as if she will never let him go. He walks her into the bedroom and lays her in the bed, clinging to her lips as he tucks her in for the night. He doesn't follow her and as she realizes he has no intention of taking things further the disappointment on her face makes him smile all the way to his heart.

"Haymitch? Stay here? Please?" She asks intensely.

His chest rises in a great sigh. "I cry your mercy, sweetheart. I can't stay. Our little game is becoming dangerous."

"Maybe I am not playing? Not like we have any more chances." She holds his neck tight, unwilling to let him go.

"Do you know the punishment for a mentor sleeping with a tribute?" Haymitch asks sternly.

She shakes her head, taking the question seriously at once. "What is it?"

He smiles. He leans in and whispers to her. Her eyes go wide in horror. "Oh God Haymitch. Has that ever happened?"

"Yes. It has. When I was a boy. It was horrible. Finnick Odair had a near miss the year Annie Cresta won. Still. It would almost be worth it, sweetheart. Almost." He pats her cheek and kisses her forehead.

"Haymitch. Will you hold my hand? Just until I fall asleep? Please? I won't try anything else." She pleads softly, moving over to give him a comfortable perch on the edge of the bed. She plops pillows against the headboard and looks at him expectantly.

He sighs as if being near her is his own version of hell. It is, but in an entirely different way. Haymitch holds her hand and fiddles with her hair, not taking his eyes off her as her face smoothes and her breathing becomes steady. Legs crossed and comfortably resting against a pile of pillows, he closes his eyes and smirks at the thought of what kind of misery he is going to give Finn about what she'd told him.

He didn't realize he was asleep in a dreamless, restful paradise until the soft knock sounded on the door. "Come in Peeta" he said barely out of the fog.

"Peeta opens the door and takes in the scene of Haymitch sitting propped up in her bed. Katniss has an ice pack, still on her face. "So she's ok?"

"Except for the probable broken nose. She'll live." Haymitch rubs his eyes, wishing he could have more sleep like he'd just had.

"What happened to her nose?" Peeta asked bending to look and moving the melted ice-bag. He frowned and looked at Haymitch in concern.

"I punched her in the nose for ticking you off. She knows I like you better. Maybe she will behave herself now." He says this in a voice that sounds like he's explaining to a person of limited capabilities.

"Where did she go?"

"Exactly where you sent her, idiot." Haymitch grouches. "Now either grow up and move on or should I explain her plan to you. The one in which she shoots arrows in the cornucopia until she runs out, and then she dies."

Peeta looks down at her and sighs. He blinks tears away. "I'm sorry Haymitch."

"Exactly. Now climb in. I am too tired to even move. You will just have to put up with me. Obviously can't trust you to keep track of her." He sinks lower against the pillow and is snoring away before Peeta is even settled up against her back. He buries his face in her hair and she murmurs in her sleep.

Peeta kisses her head, "I love you, Katniss." He whispers.

The next morning the prep team rouses them. The sight of Peeta, Katniss and Haymitch clinging together is more than Octavia can deal with. "Remember what Cinna told us?" Octavia leaves, as do Haymitch and Peeta.

Venia and Flavius have suspended their chatter, except to discuss what to do about the swollen nose, as they quickly fly through their routine. Katniss is lost in thought. She appreciates the silence. She is reclined with a sweet-smelling pale mint gunk all over her and cooling cucumber tea pads are wrapped tightly on her eyes in an attempt to decrease the swelling. She is feeling a bit like a frosted cake. The stylists tell her they will be cheering for her, then go on break or something, leaving Katniss helplessly covered with pretty green frosting.

Katniss settles in and gets comfortable, at least it isn't a mudpack, which itches and crumbles as it dries. She hears the lock click at the stylists return and waits for them to begin scraping the substance from her skin with the small metal scraper.

Instead, her eyes fly open uselessly as her lips are enveloped. "Cinna?" she says as someone settles on top of her smearing the frosting as they cup her pale green breasts.

Her legs are spread and she is wordlessly invaded as she tears the cucumber and tea pads off her face. She looks into Cinna's pale green eyes as he moves seductively inside her, somehow making this act a foreplay rather than the main event. "Expecting someone else, Katniss?" He is sliding in the green substance and her legs come up and wrap around his hips pulling him to her as she relaxes and demands the rest of him.

"I thought you were mad at me over the scores." Katniss says honestly.

"I wanted you to have a nice day with Peeta." He says softly licking the substance off her. "Did you? Have a nice day?"

"Yes. Until I made him mad. Then I had a very enlightening evening." Her breath is deepening. He feels so good and as she realizes the frosting is edible, slightly sweet even she can barely stand how blatantly sexual being covered in something edible could be. "Did you miss me Cinna?"

She is hungrily sucking and licking at his neck and shoulder as his movement becomes more rhythmic. He reaches between them, manipulating her and rubbing the minted frosting into her. The cooling sensation makes her gasp as what felt slight on her regular skin is an explosion of sensation on her delicate flesh.

"Forgive my possessiveness but yes. I missed you. Octavia nearly quit yesterday and I yelled at poor Portia. I am in that stage of obsessive want of you. I can think of little else. I couldn't wait. This afternoon is ours, if you're willing?"

"And if I am not?" she says nearly unable to catch her breath.

"Then I will remove myself from you at once, but I beg you to not require it of me." He says need making him shiver at the thought.

She kisses him hard and is so near her own pleasure she feels it hovering just on the edge. "You look so sexy in green goop. How could I say no? Harder."

The request is unnecessary; Cinna is losing his mind.

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><p><em><strong>Ok there is your update – The next one may be a bit beings I have several stories going at once and also working on my real writing. Please keep reviewing – you have thrilled me to death with all your comments - I figured I would get the villagers all stirred up again.<strong>_

_**Booksandmusic24 –hope this chapter answers the Haymitch question**_

_**t.d.c. – lol thank you – he is very clear in my mind – very classy.**_

_**Bambambam – Sorry couldn't get to the Cinna Snow part – yes Cinna is the son of Coriolanus . Cinna and Haymitch have had a little 'thing' in the past – also Haymitch has stuck his nose in between father and son. I will get to it.**_

_**Books-equal-life – yeah –Cinna types are worth every moment –sigh.**_

_**Maerad-of-Pellinor28 – will depend on the launch scene – have not gotten there – thank you**_

_**Rebecca Sopkin – lol kinda caught me off guard there too – now I know why he doesn't use his last name.**_

_**Bluedot77 – yessum tappin away. Grin.**_

_**Ellenka – thank you thank you – private time is a good thing – I do seem to make some people scream and I do foreshadow almost every twist –but you must be a careful reader –grin.**_

_**Estrunk – Lol – yes –good thing I keep Haymitch hours –grin.**_

_**Thank You guys for the reviews – very much!**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Pleasure to burn - chapter four**_

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn  
><strong>Summary<strong>: _Katniss and Cinna share a sweet afternoon before the interview. The tributes give Panem an interview to remember. Cinna takes a bow. _  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Katniss/Cinna, Peeta, Finnick, Haymitch, Johanna

**Author notes**:

**Warning:**_ may contain any of the following ingredients –(old people, language. Spoilers, Sexual discussion, ghosts, sex, smexy lemons, smutty thoughts, sexual reference, sexual innuendo, reference to past violence, sadness, bondage, violence, dead characters being discussed, alcohol use, caffeine use, reference to man love, unintended exhibitionism, naked people, infidelity, torture, reference to adultery, reference to other persecuted unacceptable sex (threesome), reference to possible non-consent and prostitution -whew the warning alone could be hazardous) If you have any allergies to these subjects, please take appropriate measures for your maturity level. Side effects may include but not be limited to: flaming of the author, Pm grouchiness, and unwanted hair growth._

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><p>It was a pleasure to burn in the day of fire. They burned for all time that day. When the devil lives in the mansion, only fire can survive. They may not live, but they could steal enough life today, to go to the devil with joy.<p>

**_"The sun burnt every day. It burnt Time. The world rushed in a circle and turned on its axis and time was busy burning the years and the people anyway, without any help from him. So if he burnt things with the firemen and the sun burnt Time, that meant that everything burnt!" -Fahrenheit 451_**

Cinna and Katniss, covered in green glop, kiss all the way to the shower. He expertly adjusts the controls and the complex system yields to his touch as easily as the girl on fire. He gently oils her skin and uses the pore-scraper with skill and adoration in the steamy mist. Her complexion glows with his attention, and she also sings a wordless harmony in the shower at his adoration. They move together in the power of bliss as the hot rain warps and echos the sound of passion. Half lidded eyes see only in the color of lust as each moment floats into memory through every channel of human experience.

"Katniss? Who hit you?" He is at once looking with horror at her swollen face and the circles under her eyes, just beginning to send tendrils of purple bruising under her eyes.

"The door. I was going to tell you Haymitch beat me, but he actually felt bad, so it was an accident." She says with her hands roaming Cinna. "Cinna, where did you get all these scars?"

Cinna examines her nose pretending he is too concerned with her issues to answer. She isn't fooled and waits for him to speak. "My father mostly. He is even less fun in person, as you know." He finally admits.

"How would I know that?"

He stops what he is doing and looks at her with amused disbelief. "Has no one told you? What is my last name, Katniss? One should never take a lover without being aware of who's child you could be harnessed with. I thought you knew."

Katniss watches him confused. When he brought up the part about the child, anger flared. "I guess it doesn't matter beings I will be dead by about this time tomorrow."

The pain of her words bends him forward. He swallows several times. He straightens finally, meeting her eyes. "My name is Cinna Lanus Snow. I am the son of Coriolanus Snow and his sixth wife, who he murdered when I was seven. I was a rebelllious child and his punishements have been many. I wear them to remember. I am denied now. I no longer have a last name."

He looks up at Katniss and he sees immediately that the affair is finished between them. She wears tears of revulsion and her face is lost in so many thoughts she is unreadable. He returns his voice to it's calm neutral tone he has used for years. "You need say nothing. I apologize for you not having this awareness before your decision was reached. I will await your exit to prepare you for your interview. Please use D5 rinse and Excalibur toner." He turns from the shower, punches the drier and leaves her standing in the mist.

Cinna is dressed and had his pleasant face sealed and ready for her when she enters the room. Katniss is confused by what he'd said, but now she can almost see the resemblance. His exquisite manners, his calm unemotional countenance at all times, now made sense. This was the son of the man she hated above all others. The son of the murderer, who was about to kill her, is here to make her pretty for death. How she could feel love for the child of a monster, she cannot explain.

"Cinna? I am surprised, but you know it doesn't matter to me. You know that right?" she says carefully. She drops the towel robe and waits for him to come to her.

"Your face explained perfectly Katniss. I made the assumption that Haymitch had told you before he sent you to me for the removal of your condition of innocence." He says without apparent hurt.

"Haymitch? He didn't send me to you? Is that what we did Cinna? You performed a service for Haymitch? Just a little job to make it so I don't lose my mind entirely in the arena when the winner takes his plunge into the girl on fire? Cheating Dad out of a little of his fun? It was my idea. I never told Haymitch. That means you had to have told him. Thanks Cinna. You're the best." Katniss says, loathing in her eyes, this time clear and ablaze.

Cinna tilts his head. "He told you to make a decision and gave you a list of options. I didn't know his intent until after we had come to our own understanding. I was quite unprepared, but he seemed pleased. Katniss this wasn't…"

"It's really funny if you think about it. You play all the sides, just like him. You are here to make me look pretty so you can send me off to be brutalized before they kill me. You will make me tempting, so they will be more likely to do your fathers bidding, while you have slid around the barn and made the show less exciting. That's so funny. And Haymitch is holding my hand and mentoring me to try to live past the Cornucopia, not because he thinks I have any hope at all, but because your father wants to see me degraded and humiliated in front of every person I ever cared for, before I die." Katniss is laughing nearly the same way Finnick had sounded last night. Her voice is shard and gravel, a rockslide of lethal grinding destruction.

"Wait, Katniss, that is not…"

"Go ahead Cinna. Make me beautiful for them. You and Haymitch can have a good laugh while I shriek in pain and have a few drinks to celebrate when it's all done. You can tell nasty jokes about how much fun it must be for my Mother and little sister to watch. You remember Prim? I bet you will make her a pretty dress for my funeral. Have you made mine already? I bet you made me something fashionable and delicious to dress me in for my homecoming. Fashion is so important while decomposing in the dirt. This place and all of you who belong here are an example of that. Guess what, Finn told me not to trust anyone. For that? I pick him. Don't bet on me Cinna. If Peeta won't, Finnick wins."

Katniss is screaming this and nothing Cinna is trying to say to her calms her in the least. She has grabbed her robe and knotted the belt at her waist. She spins and bumps into the brick wall of glowering Haymitch Abernathy. She tries to shove him away to run out the door, but with the lightening of a snake, he clasps her in his arms and holds her like a child having a tantrum. He clamps down on her and she is immobile except for the vile hatred spewing from her lips.

"You need to shut your mouth right now, sweetheart. Before I shut it for you. His jammer only works for about thirty feet in any direction and you are going to get us all killed. Even Effie, Darius… Peeta?" Haymitch growls in her ear.

The mention of Peeta's name silences her cursing and she goes limp. Haymitch relaxes a little, but knows her well enough to pay attention. He sits on the bed with her, still holding her tightly. "Katniss what caused this melt down?" he asks like a parent trying to get to the bottom of a candy theft.

"The truth of your big plans Haymitch. Who have you promised the winner's slot to? Who is his son making me pretty for? Won't work. I am stepping off the plate before the gong." She says calm but with so little emotion she sounds like a ghost stuck in flesh.

He bends to her ear. "I swear on my life sweetheart. You have this wrong. If that was what I am up to, I would have taken your offer last night and been found expired this morning. If I don't have your faith Katniss, all is lost. Have I ever betrayed you? Would I? Peeta jumped to the wrong conclusion last night. You are doing that now. You beat me to my intent. Cinna was not even on my list of possible. He was an oversight but a perfectly acceptable plan. He can't help who his father is. If he were trying to harm you, would he have given you such kindness?"

Her face is hard and her tears flowed, even if she wouldn't give into them. She looks over at Cinna whose eyes are almost closed as he looks at the ground. His freshly coated eyeliner, leaves a gold and black trail down his cheek. "Why should I believe you?"

"Don't be a fool Katniss. I am letting you go now. Kill us all if you want to. But don't you think for a second we have ever done more than sought to protect you. If I thought last night was my only chance, I would have taken it, no matter the consequences. I sure as hell wouldn't have waited for you to make a choice," he says with quiet authority.

"You would have forced me?" she asks, disgusted.

Cinna laughs. He looks at the ceiling before meeting her eyes. "Katniss, don't be silly. Haymitch doesn't have to force anyone. Ever."

Katniss looks confused. "Yeah cause he's got secret skills under his three day old shirts and vomit breath." She snips and wiggles off his lap in a huff.

Haymitch and Cinna both laugh. "As a matter of fact he does," Cinna says sweetly more to Haymitch then to her.

"Oh God. Please tell me the two of you have not…Haymitch is there anyone in this building you haven't had time to…" She looks back at Cinna who is snickering and Haymitch who wears a look of innocent irritation. She rakes her hand through her hair and exhales exasperated. "If you like men so much, why were you like that with me last night?" she demands.

Haymitch stands, "Well it isn't exactly an either-or question. You were not complaining last night."

She blushes as Cinna raises one eyebrow with a questioning grin. "Well I must have entirely missed the mark of what you called an enlightening evening." Cinna glances at Haymitch and shakes his head.

Haymitch snorts in mirth. "You have no idea what lurks in our girl's little heart Cinna. Hmmppphhh."

"Shut up, Haymitch. God, I hate you," Katniss states.

Haymitch sighs. He flops back on the bed. "Oh stop flirting. If you want me to stay, just ask. Every time I leave you alone you disappear on them."

"You just want to watch, you sick freak," Katniss says bopping Haymitch on the head.

He grabs her hand and pulls her down to him. He kisses her even though she protests weakly. He continues until she stops pretending to be mad and a small groan escapes her. He smiles down at her and says softly. "If I wanted to watch I would simply review the feeds of your visit to a certain room in District 4."

Her eyes go wide and before she can begin yelling, he kisses her once again. He pulls away and she sighs deeply. She can't figure out what it is, but the jerk does something to her. She wasn't even very mad at him anymore. "That's better," he says, pleased with himself. "Now go apologize to your stylist before I turn you over my knee and spank you."

She sputters to life again, ready for battle and Haymitch kisses her again. He likes that she has no idea why his little trick is working. He lets her think it is only the kissing. Once again her tension fades and she is calm putty. "Haymitch," she whispers.

His gray eyes blaze and he sits her upright and gives her a gentle shove toward Cinna. She looks back at him and he glares at her to do as he asks. "Cinna, I am sorry for what I said. It has been a bad…"she sighs, "year." she finishes, thinking of all that has happened to lead her to this point. "You hurt my feelings when you just walked away. We were kind of in the middle of things. I should have not said what I did."

"But in some ways you were right. I have made your funerary attire. You are quite correct at my uselessness. The futility of my pursuit is egotistically without measure, yet I did it with great love. Not for you. Though I thought it to be at the time. A last gift. If it would make you feel better, my own attire is prepared as well. I am sorry I have hurt you. I made them last year. It is required, " Cinna says.

"I am sorry. I didn't mean to belittle the effort. May I see? May I see what I will wear?" Katniss asks so softly she sounds like hissing except for the tiny squeak at the end of every other word.

"Show her. Something needs to make this real for her," Haymitch says head facing the floor, elbows on knees, thumbs digging into his eyes.

"I will send the Avox," Cinna agrees and passes out the door.

Haymitch sits on the bed ignoring Katniss. Timidly she crawls behind him and begins rubbing his neck and shoulders. "I do believe in you," she says quietly.

He nods. Katniss gets on her knees behind him and really cranks on the knotted mass of turmoil that constitutes a neck. "Keep that up and you'll have a husband, sweetheart."

She laughs. "But if I lived, you would be sorry. Til death, doesn't sound so terrible if you know you only have to put up with them for a few hours. I used to do this for my father."

"Your father, was as big of a pain in the ass as you are. He loved you. He was so proud of you, dragging you through the Hob," Haymitch says quietly.

"You knew him?"

"Went to school together. Knew your mother too. She never liked me before the games so I don't hold it against her."

"They never told me that. I don't remember ever talking to you," Katniss says trying to imagine when this could have been.

"Lot's of people don't talk to me, sweetheart. Doesn't mean I stopped paying attention, just because…Your father never stopped speaking to me. You might remember, I used to buy you milk from the goatman."

"I didn't know that was you," she whispered still trying to remember his face with that memory. "You have never talked to me until the reaping."

"I didn't need to. Spoke to Sae," he admitted.

"Haymitch. There is stuff I don't know, right?" She wraps her arms around him from behind and just in his ear. "The cornucopia is clean and fast. If someone catches me, they will make me suffer as long as they can. Are you sure you want to see that Haymitch? It is what you're asking of me."

"I want you to find something like those poison berries. If you get caught. Keep them on you at all times." He tells her seeing her point.

Her breath bursts from her and she starts shaking. "Sweetheart? What now?" he asks helplessly.

"Nothing. It's fine. You just, proved to me how stupid I can be." She laid her head on his shoulder. The dampness told him she really was afraid. He was too.

He tried to comfort her, but visions of her fear and knowing how slim the chances he could get this rebellion thing fully functional, before she was retuned to him in pieces, left his own emotions trying to bubble through his careful façade. The way he had used pressure points to calm her while kissing her, seemed unintentionally reversed. Her kneading the tension away stirred up his emotions. "Well, your stupidity has never been in question. I count on it these days."

Cinna didn't meet anyone's face as he entered with the garment bags. He set one to the side and hung the other two on the back of the bathroom door. With long practiced flair, he opened the bag. The first impression was black from the bodice to the waist, but it shimmered with sequins and black pearls. The lower gown was full and flowing. Each panel had it's own scene woven in like old-fashioned tapestry. The center panel was a forest with a girl standing and looking over a bluff. Other panels showed her bow wound with vines and fire, and mockingJays along with Katniss flowers, dandelions and everywhere, fire licked at the hem.

"It's the most lovely thing I have ever seen," Katniss says softly reaching out to touch it.

"Each detail is hand stitched. It took twenty of us to sew the beads. This is Peeta's, His is similar, but only his lapels and cummerbund are beaded," he says keeping his eyes down. "I truly hope they are never worn."

Katniss wrapped her arms around Cinna. "They are beautiful. I get it. I am glad you showed me. What is the other one? Is it for tonight?"

"Yes, but I had no choice in the decision. The orders came straight from my father. My apologies in advance." he says.

"Well, if you think you have this calmed down, I will give you all a bit of privacy. There is still an hour or so ,efore you need to begin in earnest," Haymitch says quietly, standing and heading to the door.

Cinna mouths a thank you to Haymitch as he leaves. "Should I lock the door, Katniss?" Cinna searches her face and riffles a hank of her hair through his fingers.

"Unless you want the old fart-knocker back, giving directions." Katniss moves to him and pulls the knot of her robe, letting it be for decorative purposes. Cinna touches her collarbone and lets his hand drift lower, cupping her breast gently, his lips follow the path his hand blazes.

Haymitch bangs buttons on his shower, not caring what the results are so long as the water surges. The temperature and scent don't matter. The noise matters. The noise must be loud enough to hide his sorrow, unable to hold it in for another moment. The world assumes he's strong and doesn't cry. The world is wrong. Haymitch cries. He doesn't trust the world enough, to understand that he is still human. The world does not know him, but he knows the world in facets of darkness.

He is still trying to get the hovercraft up and working. Will it be available in time? Can they get through the barrier of the arena? The reports from Heavensbee have not been promising. If he's wrong he will have to watch Katniss be mauled mercilessly by the beasts of the hunger games.

He knows it will be Brutus. The man has not taken his eyes off her since the rumors began. If Brutus wins, Haymitch will live long enough to repeat the performance. Haymitch will be her avenging angel before he finds the ecstasy of murder. He tries to keep his faith in his insane plans and his trusted friends. Two districts are already in full rebellion. He must not fail.

The boy's plan may help her. Surely they won't want to see it done to a woman with child. Haymitch calms himself with that small hope. He's survived so much in life. The things they have done to him are unspeakable, but he survived it all. He can survive anything, but he knows he can't survive her last breath. If Peeta's lie can prevent her from taking that final rattling gasp, he will survive her anger with gladness.

Peeta stands as Portia scrapes his naked body. He is troubled by the plan he has in mind, but it was all he could think of to help. Haymitch had explained what Finnick Odair had meant by his comment to Katniss. Finnick had been telling the absolute truth. Peeta didn't like the facts. Once he understood, he cursed himself for wishing she had not been sleeping with Finnick. After he knew the true subject of their exchange, he would have given anything to go back to a little pleasure with Finnick as the big terrible secret.

No wonder she'd refused to wait on him. Who was he fooling; he had no right to even dream of her now. He was nothing to her. He'd blown his chances. His jealousy had made him a fiend. He'd used the hearts and the attention of girls from home to satisfy a want that knew no satisfaction. When the opportunity to live his fantasy had again fallen in his hands, he let his hurt feeling again blow the delicate chance through his fingers like dandelion fluffs. He didn't want his life, tarnished as it was, but he intended to give it to her.

He wouldn't know who her first lover was; she would have others someday that he will never meet. They will find pleasure in her as he rots in the ground, forgotten and discarded under a rock with pretty words. He wondered what it would be like to be dead. He hoped it was pure blackness without anything. He didn't want to be tormented with his many regrets. Peeta didn't want to pass on and long for her, lost for all time in the shadows of his dreams that could never be. If anything he hoped he could relive only those tiny moments of perfection he been allowed. He hoped for no knowledge that she thought of him sometimes or not at all. The boy with the bread, hoped for pure lovely nothing.

Katniss covered her revulsion at the dress Cinna held in the crook of his arm well. She reached out and touched it and only shrugged and commented, "It would be a shame to waste such a lovely dress." She held her arms up without protest or tears as Cinna billowed the wedding dress, she would never say sacred words of love in, over her head and let it adorn her in deathly shroud instead.

"I don't remember it being so heavy. It feels like it is crushing me." She looks down at the white and smiles. No longer pure. That thought alone gives her some pleasure. Everywhere the pearls felt like chains, from the gown, to the ropes of them around her neck, to the crown of the veil, heavy and gaudy like this entire city.

"I had to make some adjustments. The weight is only slightly more. It is your heart that makes it so heavy," Cinna states as he buttonhooks Katniss into the complex garment.

President Snow's barbaric intent is quite clear to her. He is sending her to a wedding night of his own twisted design. She is the helpless bride, awaiting her cruel bridegroom, to be humiliated in the arena with no hope of hiding the shame they would bring her. Gale would watch. Haymitch would drink and hope it was enough to watch. Prim would be soul torn for the rest of her life with the images. Her mother would simply fade away. Peeta would wait for her on the other side, his cannon fired and dressed in the last gift of Cinna.

Let it be Finn, she prayed. He would only pretend to hurt her, before giving her peace. Every person from school and their parents would watch. The people from the Hob would whisper of the horror. Her father's friends would see. The girl Finn loved would hate her for all time. Snow would watch it over and over until her cries lost their power for him. He would someday become immune to the stimulation and find his next victim.

"Do not raise your arms above your head until you twirl," Cinna says.

"Will I be twirling this year?"

"It is your big finale, I will signal you." He replies with a prideful wink.

Katniss and Cinna meet up with the others by the elevators. Haymitch wears a brilliant red tux, looking a great deal like a handsome Satan. He smiles his disapproval and Katniss rolls her eyes. "Glad I won't have to walk you down the isle after all," he says seductively.

"Haymitch, how could you?" Effie says slapping hi arm in irritation. "You look lovely, Katniss."

"It's ok Effie. Thanks," Katniss says.

Peeta, the lost groom, looks elegant and tortured. He smiles with encouragement, letting her know he was there, watching her back and protecting her like in the old days.

The other tributes turn and react to Katniss and Peeta's entrance. Cashmere rolls her eyes and looks down at Katniss with hostile dislike.

"I can't believe Cinna put you in that thing," Finnick growls with disgust.

"You look ridiculous." Cashmere agrees.

"Cinna wasn't given a choice. President Snow ordered my attire and Peeta's. You should be thankful he didn't dress you all as the bridal party. Though Finn in drag might outshine the rest of us," Katniss says as if channeling Haymitch.

Finn laughs as he eyes Katniss intently. "I would hate to be in a skirt. I would be afraid someone might take advantage of me, if given such easy access," he murmurs the last part softly in her ear with a little wink and a tug on her veil.

Katniss doesn't blush; she blazes brilliant crimson. She meets his eyes for only a heartbeat, but she has no doubt that he knows what she did. Finding no anger in his expression, she looks away.

The tributes line up and though everyone seems angry, some cast glances of sympathy at Peeta and Katniss. Cashmere and her brother, lead the way, holding hands.

Johanna Masons steps in close and rather than making a snide comment, carefully straightens Katiss' pearl necklace, and looks directly in her eyes. "You make him pay for this. Make him pay." Johanna takes her place in line next to Blight.

A hundred girls in the audience collapse as Finnick reads a poem to his true love. He seems alive as he speaks and as he looks into the camera for the final time, his tears are real and even Katniss feels heartbroken for him. He takes his seat and when he finally looks up again, his eyes meet Katniss and he nods.

Katniss gives him a slow deep blink, aware that he has said a goodbye on her behalf. They stare back and forth for some time, but Peeta nudges her and she sees in his eyes the warning. The others are paying attention.

Each victor adds to the unrest. Beetee questions the legality of the Quell. Johanna asks for something to be done. Chaff questions Snow's authority if he can't override the Quell. By the time Katniss is introduced, there isn't a dry eye in the room.

As Katniss walks toward Caesar, the bridal march of the capitol is played with a jaunty upbeat rhythm. Katniss has been sitting in front of the audience through all the interviews, but the music and her walking toward them, nearly causes a riot. They finally settle down long enough for a question. Katniss looks at Cinna and he smiles at her.

"Isn't this dress just the most beautiful thing you have ever seen?" She slowly begins to twirl and as her arms go up, her dress ignites in real fire. She keeps twirling trying not to cough from the smoke. She glimpses Cinna and the fear on his face sends chills of terror through her. What if she burns? Is this supposed to happen? Will she die here like a convicted revolutionary? Flame out, screaming? Cinna, it hurts, she thinks and then it is over.

There is a murmur as the flames die. She looks down and is covered in feathers. The wedding dress has transformed into the costume of a mockingjay. Katniss smiles amazed by what it looks like on the monitors. Cinna has made her a Mockingjay.

The cameras all turn to Cinna. He smiles brilliantly and bows. Katniss' smile cascades to fake as she realizes what this means. Her eyes meet Cinna and she can't breath as she realizes why he has his own funeral apparel planned. He's going to need it now. She shakes as his words play in her head. Time is short for us both. I only hurt myself. Nothing I have not chosen. This day is worth all the rest of them. He has hurt himself beyond repair this time.

Her interview finished, the girl on fire takes her seat and locks eyes with the placid face of her lover. They have shared so much, and now they share the pain of knowing there is no hope for the other. Katniss hopes there is a place beyond Panem. She hopes they don't have to see each other pass through the pain. She hopes it is quick for him, but she hopes most of all that when they have taken everything from them and the world moves on that something of them will be drawn together. Katniss hopes to burn bright enough that his spirit can find her in the darkness. She cannot burn without him; he brought her fire.

He watches her sit so still on the stage. He feeds her courage now that she fully understands. He knows her heart is breaking and he doesn't want it to. Cinna wants her to fly away and make the world a better place with her light. He was no genius of fashion. Cinna only wrapped her on the outside in what he saw of her deep within. His eyes are full of love.

Portia puts her hand on his arm. "Oh Cinna, what have you done?"

Cinna's face remains placid as he finally meets the eyes of his father. Dead blue meets peaceful green upon the fields of combat. He of the mansion smiles knowing he has won the battle. He of the needle smiles knowing he has begun the war. The roses shall be lush with nourishing blood as they fall to inferno.

Katniss has not heard a word Peeta has said until the last words slam into her consciousness. His words are bitter and she is sure her heart will stop as he utters, "…if it weren't for the baby."

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><p>I hope you enjoyed my canon with adjustments. Please read and review.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

**Pleasure to burn - chapter five**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn  
><strong>Summary<strong>: _The interviews end. Katniss takes a test. Haymitch goes insane and Peeta jumps the couch. _  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Katniss/Cinna, Peeta, Haymitch, Finnick

**Author notes**: I wrote this chapter once with a just in time save. Then I decided, what if Katniss had to face a more truthful outcome. It is an icky, but I liked the way it explored issues I never see much of in the world of once upon a time.

**Warning:**_ may contain any of the following ingredients –(old people, language. Spoilers, Sexual discussion, ghosts, sex, smexy lemons, smutty thoughts, sexual reference, sexual innuendo, reference to past violence, sadness, bondage, violence, dead characters being discussed, alcohol use, caffeine use, reference to man love, unintended exhibitionism, naked people, infidelity, torture, reference to adultery, reference to other persecuted unacceptable sex (threesome), reference to possible non-consent and prostitution -whew the warning alone could be hazardous) If you have any allergies to these subjects, please take appropriate measures for your maturity level. Side effects may include but not be limited to: flaming of the author, Pm grouchiness, and unwanted hair growth._

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><p>Peeta again drops the bomb of the evening. Everyone is stunned by his confession of the secret wedding and horrified by the declaration of her pregnancy. Katniss is now the most sweetly tragic creature who ever drew breath in Panem and the audience has finally found the breaking point. For a moment there is hope. They can't let her go into the games now. The city seems to go into madness as the victors make a last stand of solid single-minded disapproval of the Quell.<p>

The lights go out on the last seconds of the victors holding hands. They are left to grope their way back to the training center. Katniss is fumbling along, still trying to understand what is occurring when she slips backward. She takes a breath to scream as something hard and sticky is pressed to her mouth and her nose is clamped and without a sound she is drug away from the familiar shadows of the others.

She struggles against her attacker, and the fear of not being able to breath at all, to no advantage. Her heart pumping in fear her arms and legs flailing weakly, she is losing consciousness and can't even scream. Whatever is on her mouth has glued her mouth shut and now her desperation becomes simply to breath.

She is dieing and knows the fight is over. She hears Peeta calling franticly in the distance, but there is nothing she can do. It has happened so fast. One second she was just behind Peeta, then hands swept her away. Other voices have suddenly joined in calling for her now. She thinks one might belong to Finnick.

They will know soon enough she is gone. Her struggles are no longer conscious. She only fights for air. Katniss Everdeen finally stops all movement as she is carried down the dark hallways. The vice on her nose is lifted and her breathing is normal as she swims back up to consciousness. An unfamiliar voice tells her to stay quiet unless she wants a repeat performance.

"We are only going to draw a little blood from you then you will be released back to your drunken keeper. The president only wishes to confirm your convenient condition."

She does as she is told. She tries to stick her tongue out and wet the sticky substance holding her mouth immobile. Her hand flies to her face, trying to tear it from her face. It is hard plastic and the harder she pulls on it, the more frightened she finds herself. They have literally glued her mouth closed.

Finally she is brought to a room, set in a chair and they leave her. The peacekeepers are not what she is used to. They are covered in black uniform with a small tone on tone capital seal stitched into the breast of their shirts. She is in a room with a single chair and a silvered window that shows an empty room. She can see a pale version of her face reflected. A gray plate sits slightly skewed on her face with a gunk that has oozed out the sides before hardening. Nothing will release this from her skin. She has seen something like this used before for prisoners they intend to torture. It doesn't stop them from screaming, but muffles the sound enough that commentary may be added for the audience.

She shivered in the heavy dress. This could mean only one thing. Her games were no longer much of a worry. She couldn't help but sit in the single chair, she was near passing out with adrenaline and terror. She knows it is futile but she reaches out and tries the door. The handle doesn't budge. There is nothing she can do but wait. She wondered if Cinna was in a similar room. Maybe they blamed her instead? Maybe Cinna would be safe.

Peeta must be frantic by now. Haymitch will be ranting in fury; sure she has run off and has left them all to face the wrath alone. Cinna will be calm in his panic, knowing she must be in danger. She wondered if everyone was still searching for her. She wished she'd thought to leave them a trail of feathers. She should have pulled them and let them go instead of trying to get away. They could have tracked her that way, not that it would have helped anything. If she is to be tortured, it would not help her friends to search for any hope.

The lock is disengaged and a middle aged man walks in, wearing a medical crest, flanked by two of the black guard who had just kidnapped her. A second chair, more of a rolling stool, is placed beside her chair for the Doctor.

"Miss Everdeen, or Mrs. Mellark, I am Doctor Mariouska and I will be confirming or denying your claim of pregnancy. There is nothing to fear. I will give you a simple blood test and a very fast pelvic exam. You will not be harmed in any way. You are to be returned to your training center as soon as we have our results. Do you understand what I am saying to you? A nod will suffice, I realize you have no way of speaking." He waits for her to reply.

She nods.

"Good. Good. Now I am going to ask you a few questions and there is no right or wrong answer. Just be honest and cooperate and we will get you on your way. Are you active sexually?"

Katniss' eyes go wide and she blushes.

"It is a simple question. Yes or no. Are you sexually active at this time." He says more demanding.

She Nods.

"Have you had any partners other than your husband? Please do not lie, this is confidential and your husband will not be notified of your response. If you lie however, things will go much less smoothly. Please answer."

Katniss closes her eyes and nods, knowing they must have the feeds of Finnick's room. Will they torture her on some trumped up charge of adultery?

"Thank you for your honesty. Now do you at this time feel you are pregnant?"

She nods. If she says she knows she isn't, then they will go after Peeta.

"Have you taken a pregnancy test?"

She shakes her head no.

"That is fine, we know the conditions of 12. You rely on your wives tales and your wits. We will be able to help you with that tonight. A certain answer, one way or another. Have you had symptoms of pregnancy?"

She nods hesitantly.

"Morning nausea?"

She nods.

"Breast tenderness or discharge?"

She shakes her head no to the rest of his list.

"Ok I am going to draw your blood, then we will do the pelvic and we will be all finished. Which arm? Don't want to mess up your bow pulling. She extends her right arm and he quickly and professionally draws a tiny amount from her arm, folding her arm with cotton to keep it from leaking."

"Remove your underwear and spread your legs please." He says.

She looks at him horrified. She looks at the two guards and back to the doctor.

He looks behind him and sighs. "They are of no concern. They see this sort of thing all the time. Now we can do this quickly or we can do it with you sedated in which case your friends will be concerned for you safety for a much longer period then if we just get this over with."

She glares at him. She doesn't want to be unconscious for this. Who knows what they would do. Who knows what they will do. She stands up and removes her underwear, figuring they will see her soon enough anyway.

"Very good. This is quite a dress to contend with. Now move yourself forward, put your feet on my knees and let your legs fall to the side." He folds the dress forward leaving her in broad view of the guards who never take their eyes off her exposure. She grinds her teeth, humiliated as one of them adjusts himself while smiling at her. She can plainly see that this is capable of turning into a terrible situation very quickly.

The doctor feels around, inserting his fingers and poking around her stomach. "Let me know if you feel any tenderness?" He says quite oblivious to the growing conditions of the guards or their solicitous smirks. He inserts several swabs and places them in vials. He flops her dress back over her and smiles. "All finished. See that wasn't so bad now was it. You may sit up."

She feels like she has been violated. She sits up and glances again at the guards. One is licking his lips and subtly brushes the front of his pants while scrunching his lips into a disgusting kiss.

"Now, I am going to send these to the lab and if you promise not to scream or bite me, I will bring back the muzzle release and we can speak about your options."

Katniss sits up. She glares at the guards. The doctor and guards have only been gone for a minute, when the door opens again. One of the guards has returned. "Well little Mockingjay, you can do this easy or hard but nobody's coming back for thirty minutes or so. Saw you on TV last year. You just bend over there and give me a little sample and we are going to do just fine."

He has himself unbuckled and ready as if expecting her cooperation. Katniss sits there breathing hard trying to figure out what to do. The guard sighs and rolls his eyes. He takes his pistol from it's holster and points it at her head. "I would hate to have to squander all you could be, over a little fun. Get up and bend over that chair."

Katniss stands up as if she is too afraid to fight. She whimpers through her nose, making pleading sounds. She shakes her head and moves slowly but he has no intention of doing as she asks. He thinks he's won. "That's right. Your gonna like this sugar. You win again and I won't be able to afford a piece of it but maybe you'll like it so much you'll come around for free. Just thinking of you turned into a capitol girl makes me hard." He says still lost in his own senseless delusion.

Katniss has only one weapon in the room. She bends over the chair and her skirt is yanked up. He kicks her feet apart and stands behind her preparing to force himself inside her as he says terrible things he would do, if there were more time. She feels him enter and hears his sigh. Anger is boiling in her like a coiled viper toyed into strike. He pauses to reholster his gun and shove his pants lower. She stands there submissively pretending this is not the most horrible thing that ever happened to her.

He begins rocking into her grunting and telling her how much she must like what he's doing. She looks behind her, his eyes are closed and he's smiling.

The guard never sees her quick change of direction or the chair arch toward him. She hits him twice more for good measure. He falls to the floor, pants around his knees, trying to reach his pistol again. He screams as he sees her above him. She takes the chair and forces all her weight down as she brings the leg down on his head. She coldly looks down at her work. He is thrashing. His muscles firing in death just like a squirrel when her arrows found them. "I always did aim for the eye." She says as she picks up the heavy gun. Blood pools toward her hem and the feathers dip into it, dragging pretty paintbrush strokes of it across the floor mapping her movements in rich stripes and swirls.

She tries the door again. It is still locked. She searches him for some sort of key, but he has nothing. She stands in the corner, pistol ready, and sweat rolling down her face.

The doctor and second guard return. They take in the scene at once and the second guard pulls his own weapon and aims it at her. The doctor turns to her, genuinely mortified. "My deepest apologies, Mrs. Mellark. Please, put the gun down. I want to get your muzzle off. I have very happy news for you. Your pregnancy is confirmed."

Katniss stares at him. She doesn't move. He takes a step toward her and she shakes her head at him not pointing the barrel at him, but holding it to the ceiling. Her glance goes back and forth between Doctor and guard. Why would they care that she was pregnant, beings her life was over? Why steal her to confirm it? They could have simply ordered Haymitch to bring her here. If she shoots at them and they have to kill her, it would at least be a somewhat private death. There is no place for her to escape. Her face is plastered all over Panem.

She stands there silently playing out every end. She could kill the guard but the doctor would sound the alarm. She could kill them both, and run until she is brought down at some point in the labyrinth of these unfamiliar hallways. She could rush them and let them kill her, but would she die or be repaired and tortured for the crime of murder? What if they made her an Avox, forced to serve Haymitch and his tributes. It would kill him. If she gives up, she's dead or will find more guards interested in a little fun. She could put the gun to her head and end all debate. She could be the master of her fate. But another fate is now tied to her. There is a baby. Peeta is unlikely. It is Cinna's. Only a few days in existence at most, but it does exist.

"Put the gun away. Can't you see she is terrified? She has been assaulted while in our custody. What do you think that will mean?" Dr. Mariouska says firmly to the guard. "Mrs. Mellark please. Don't let this go further. The camera will confirm it was self-defense. We can see that you are not at fault here. Just give me your gun and we will move elsewhere. You can't get the muzzle off without the release spray. Others have escaped and it is a terrible death unless you have someone who can tube feed you through your nose until your skin releases it. It takes six weeks. Please." The doctor is edging closer as he speaks.

She puts the muzzle of the gun under her own chin and looks at him again. She is breathing hard and as she squeezes the trigger her eyes close for a split second. An impact knocks the gun away as her head explodes in pain. She is knocked to the floor and the gun skitters away. Pressure on the back of her neck. It's over. She closes her eyes and waits for them to kill her.

She is gently rolled over. She looks up into the smiling face of the doctor. "I am sorry I had to do that, but you left me no option. Please, Let us go next door and get back on track." He helps her to her feet and her dress again streaks through the blood.

She sits quickly before she falls. Floating lights are filling her vision. Her mind is sending her fireflies as she lets the doctor's words echo in her thoughts. He is carefully spraying her face and suddenly with a pop, the thing that has been clamped to her face releases leaving a perfect impression of her mouth, chin, and an inch of cheek on either side. He uses a cloth to wipe away residue and chats amicably about how he will see to the details of her misfortune with the guard.

"Did he assault you prior to your quick thinking?"

"Yes. He paid a high price for his fun. He should have known better than to attack a victor alone. We don't take to it very well. Does Haymitch know I am here? He will be ripping the place apart searching. I don't want him to get in trouble." She says reasonably.

"All victors have been escorted back to the training facility. Now I need to know if you believe that your husband is the father of this child. The president is very interested in the well being of any his descendants. It is known that you have spent a good deal of time with your stylist. Your results are very faint. You could not be more than two weeks past implant, perhaps less. If Cinna is the father of your child, the president is offering you immunity to the upcoming games." The doctor says quietly.

"Of course Peeta is the father." She says quickly. The last thing she wanted was to have President Snow find out that Cinna could be the father of her child. He would never leave her alone then.

"Are you certain? Any doubt could save your life. Once the fetus is further developed, we could test it genetically, but you would have to miss the games. Is there any doubt?"

Katniss looks at him for several breaths. "I would like to save myself by pretending. But I know. It's Peeta." She says as if the knowledge is pure misery for her.

"Thank you. I will pass that information along. If you are certain, it would do you no good to lie and the fact you would pass up such a tempting offer, tells me that you must be certain. I do appreciate that you have cooperated and hope this unpleasantness will not affect your gaming tomorrow. I wish you great odds and hope this child will give you incentive to win." He says in a casual friendly tone.

"Am I free to go?" Katniss asks softly, not willing to discuss what the child does or doesn't mean to her.

"I should examine you again to see if he inflicted any damage…"

"No. Just let me go or kill me instead." She yells standing up and backing away.

"Very well. I will have his body tested for any diseases he could have passed and if I find them present will contact you." He says quietly not meeting her eyes.

"Fine. May I go?"

"Yes, I will escort you as far as the Center, after the incident, I don't want to take any chances. Also I have a small gift." He holds out a deep blue bag. Katniss accepts it and edges to the door to go. She sees her underwear are still on the floor in the other room as she walks by. But she doesn't want to put them back on after they have been wallowed on the ground and saturated in the dead guards blood. Something about the image makes her gorge lurch as the doctor continues his babble. "Just some mineral supplements, information you will find helpful and some tea that will help your nausea. I realize you can't take them into the games but they do make allowance for a seven-day supply if you enter the arena pregnant. I will send the list to your mentor. Abernathy right?"

Katniss nods. "Thank you." She says low and exhausted.

He keeps up his chatter all the way through the halls. They pass multiple check stations. This is odd, but the doctor and she have no trouble and simply are waved on.

"This is you, I believe. Will you be ok from here?" He asks with genuine kindness.

"I am fine. Thank you Doctor."

"Not at all. I do realize this was unpleasant for you, but should you win, I want you to feel perfectly free to call on me if you have any trouble of any kind. I have nothing to do with them. So perhaps our next meeting could be arranged in a more simpatico manner without the need of muzzling, guards, lethal chairs or makeshift examinations. I am pleased to meet you. Mockingjay." He held out his hand and a bracelet with a copy of her symbol was on his wrist.

"Thank you again. No hard feelings. My mother is the closest thing we have to a Doctor back in 12, so I do understand your position." Katniss says watching him carefully as she shakes his hand.

"I am very glad to hear that." He bows gracefully and watches her walk up the hallway.

Katniss waits for the elevator. The doors open and she comes face to face with Finnick Odair. His eyes widen. "Thank Calypso, Haymitch has gone insane." He grabs her hand and yanks her onto the elevator. "Where in the name of Davy Jones were you! Everyone has been…Katniss, are you ok?"

"They took me and…"she leans into him and buries her face. Her brave stoic moment is over and Finnick Odair will just have to put up with her tears.

His arms are strong and he holds her gently. She is shivering and can't control herself. "Hey, your ok now baby-girl. I have you. It's ok. Haymitch would have found you, no matter what it took. I've got you. Listen. Can you hear that?"

Katniss wiped her tears and listened. There was the sound of roaring. "My tribute did not disappear on her ….will see her returned to me within the next …or I will tear you and every…"

Katniss laughed but it turned into more sobs. "Haymitch?"

"Who else could make that much noise and not be arrested. He loves you. No matter what you think of him. He loves you." Finnick says soothing her and patting her back in calming little circles.

"Love him too..but if you ever tell him I will beat you to death…" She couldn't finish. She had just beaten someone to death. The elevator dinged and opened to cowering people and one bad-tempered mentor.

"Haymitch?" Finnick says loudly.

"What!" He roars turning.

Katniss locks eyes with him and runs to him. His face is full of relief and just as she reaches him she sees his chin twitch uncontrollably. "Sweetheart. Dammit sweethert. I thought you were dead. Oh god sweetheart," It doesn't matter who is watching he covers her head with kisses, "Are you ok?" he suddenly holds her out to look at her.

"Yes, maybe. I don't know. I don't know." She cries.

Peeta throws his arms around her and he is sobbing, "I'm sorry. I am so sorry. I looked around and you were there. Then you were just gone. I only let go of you for a second. Did they hurt you? Katniss. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She is crushed between them when green eyes grab her attention. Cinna stands in the corner, eyes hard and a crease etched between his eyebrows. "Cinna?" she whispers. His lips turn up just at the corners.

"Ok, enough of this sappy crap. What happened?" Haymitch says in his demanding crab voice. "You two can get out of here. Fat lot of good you did." He is addressing two peacekeepers wearing the orange beret designating them as Training Center Victor Keepers. Normally the main duty they have is to keep the mentors from killing each other in the war room, harassing people for sport, keeping the public out of the facility and keeping the tributes from escaping.

They didn't say anything but glared at Haymitch, as if promising him later payback. They hit the elevator buttons and waited for the doors to open. Haymitch handed Katniss a drink of something pink and fizzy. It was liquor, but weak and fruity. She knew drinking was not a good idea if she was pregnant, but neither was being stolen, assaulted and scaring her into heart failure.

Everyone settled on the couch, except Cinna who stuck to his corner. Finnick sits on the coffee table, leaning in patting her hand. Katniss sat for a moment trying to figure out if she should even tell them all of it. Haymitch nearly cried for her, he deserved to know.

"They grabbed me and put a muzzle on me. I could hear you all calling but they covered my nose while they carried me. I thought they were killing me. But there were four of them. I blacked out and they said they would do it again if I tried to escape.

"What did they want?" Peeta ask horrified.

"To do a pregnancy test." Katniss said tears threatening her again.

"Oh crap. Because of me. So now we are all in trouble." Peeta says.

"So they drew blood. Then did a pelvic exam in front of two guards. The guards kept looking and when the doctor finally left. One guard came back. Alone." Katniss said, she was trying to keep the sobs away, but she was shaking so hard she cold barely hold her drink.

"Katniss…please tell me he didn't." Haymitch says eyes closed.

"He…had himself out before he even finished telling me what he was going to do. He did. He didn't see the chair coming. Dr. Mariuska came back and he apologized and."

"You hit him with a chair? That's my girl." Haymitch cheered loudly. He'd been drinking, she could tell.

"So he took the muzzle off and congratulated me."

"Of course he did. Stupid guard. I will see he's punished for trying it." Haymitch laughs in relief.

"I killed him for it, Haymitch. I killed the guard as he was…"She leaned into Haymitch, groaning in embarrassed horror.

"Sweetheart. You mean he did hurt you? You mean he…"

Katniss nodded. "He…had a …gun to my head…and he…made me bend over the chair and he…Oh God please let me die."

"No. No. This is not your fault. You can't die on me. Ask anyone, they don't like me much when I think you have been taken from the world. Katniss. Stop it. I know it is horrible. I know it isn't fair. But you will survive…"

"How the hell would you know? How the hell would any of you have a clue! He stuck a gun to my head and bent me over a chair and he was having fun. He was a monster to me and you can't under stand…"

"Katniss, all of us here, except Peeta, understands." Finnick said with such dignified authority that Katniss looked at him baffled.

"What do you mean? Are you saying what I did to you was the same thing?" insane anger was filling her face.

"No. That was a whole other world of kinky, but it wasn't the same at all. Katniss, we have all been brutalized against our will. Me, Haymitch, even Cinna. It is what he does to victors. Believe me baby-girl, we understand."

Katniss is so confused she forgets to cry. "But you are men. Men can't be raped."

Haymitch sighs in disgust. "You have a lot to learn, sweetheart."

"I am sorry. But I don't understand." She says frustrated and defensive. The looks on their faces tell her that none of them want to explain. "Oh. I get it. I am too stupid to understand. You all sit here and listen about what happened to me but when it comes to you. You can't explain. It's not the same and you know it. You have to…want to participate. You don't know anything. Poor little Katniss. Let's teach her stuff. But you all suck if you think saying this has happened to you makes me feel any…."

"Did your body respond to him?" Haymitch growls.

She shakes with the first real hatred she has ever possessed for Haymitch. "Stupid question. How can you even ask me that."

"It is not a stupid question. Did you become receptive? In other words did he happen to be carrying any form of synthetic lubrication? Or did he manage the act by yours. Don't bother to answer, I can see the horror of my question on your face. Katniss, your body is not connected to your mind and your heart. Your body is connected to survival. It does not make the act any less disagreeable just because your body allowed it rather than sustain damage to prevent it. Men can be raped. Just because the required state is attained, does not mean it is not a forced situation." Haymitch says as if he has rattled off this speech before.

"Katniss, baby-girl, the first time a man took me, I spent six days in the hospital, trying not to bleed to death." Finnick says gently to her. "There was nothing enjoyable about the experience. I fought them. Until they began sedating me for the most brutal acts. I tried to kill myself so often it became a joke." Finnick says soft and leaning over to look in her eyes.

"But why would you be with people like that Finnick?" Katniss asks.

Cinna answers for them. "Because he sold them. Look at the people you were on stage with tonight Katniss. He's sold them all at some point. It is tradition in Panem. Terrible things can be bought for a price. There are injections that will make a victor unable to control their pleasure receptors or feel enough pain to fight. Don't you wonder why so many victors die early? They are sold to death. Finnick and Haymitch are made of titanium. What are you made of girl on fire?"

Katniss looks around the room. Haymitch is almost the color of his suit and can't meet her eyes. His jaw works angrily. Peeta is standing and heading to the bathroom, his mouth covered as if he's sick.

Katniss reaches out to Haymitch shaking her head no. "Haymitch? Is this true?"

He doesn't look at her. With a great sigh he looks at Finnick. "I have done this too long Finn. Please. I don't think I can this time. I didn't know how deep I let her get. You will have to help me. I need to check on the boy."

Finnick Odair looks at Haymitch with such sadness. "Go. It's my turn. Cinna and I can handle this one."

Katniss feels her stomach twist as her mentor abandons her. He doesn't look at her as he leaves the room. "Haymitch? Please. Haymitch don't leave."

Finnick scoots to Haymitch's place. "Now don't you take that wrong Baby-girl." He slips his arms around Katniss, "I told you how he feels and Mags couldn't explain to me either. She sent me to Haymitch and it's the best thing she could have done. I would have been dead years ago. Look on the bright side. You had the pleasure of killing yours and he didn't even send you to the hospital. Mine still walks around and buys me when he can. I am jealous. How long did you hit him with the chair before you figured out you had killed him?"

"I hit him three times and stabbed him through the eye with the leg of the chair." Katniss says as if in a daze.

"Wow. Gruesome. Good for you. Do you want to know why this has not happened to you and Peeta?" Finn asks using his sweet charm on her.

She shrugs. He waits. When she meets his eyes she sighs. "Ok, why?"

"Mr. Abernathy is a genius. Katniss you must forget the drunken recluse you know from District 12. He played all of Panem to keep you safe long enough. The Quell has hurt him, but it hasn't knocked him out all together. He's not giving up. Don't you either." Finnick takes a swallow of his drink and pours more into his glass.

"So they did things like this to him all the time. How does he survive it. How do you? I feel like I never want to be touched again." She blows her nose and has another moment of tears before making herself feel like stone.

"You put it in separate boxes. That doesn't count because you choose not to let it. You are letting me touch you? Come here, let me show you. Kiss me."

She pulls away. "I don't like kissing you. You kiss weird. Like you aren't in there."

Finn laughs. "Second chance?"

"If I pull away don't chase me." She says distrustfully.

Finn smiles and winks at Cinna. He tips his head into her and pauses an inch from her lips, just like he had opening night. She looked at him and waited. He just held his place. Katniss giggled, unable to keep her face serious. He looked so sweet and vulnerable.

"Katniss, you give him your permission and consent by meeting him the last gap." Cinna explains.

"So that's what you were up to opening night?" Katniss asks finally understanding.

"Of course, but you didn't smell like virgin any longer, so I was confused. Was that you're your doing Cinna?" Finnick never takes his eyes off Katniss.

"I believe it was." Cinna smiles with his eyes, not with his mouth.

"You guys are lying. Virgins don't have a smell. Do they?"

Finnick leans back and gives her a charming half smile. "Sex has a particular aroma. Virgins do not have that scent. You reeked of pleasure Katniss. It drove me insane."

"What do I smell like now?" she ask frown appearing.

The smile falls from his face. "Fear, burnt hair, studio lights, tears, feathers, blood. Some chemical" He said seriously.

"That doesn't sound very kissable. I am going to take a shower." She says standing up. "I will be back, after"

She doesn't invite Cinna. He does follow. She will need help with the dress. He sits in the bathroom with her. He's cross-legged on the floor. What they have said to her has helped. Katniss does feel better. She takes a long time in the shower, not because she's crying, but because she can't get clean.

"You can't scrub it off you know." Cinna says finally, head resting against the wall, eyes closed.

"What?"

"You can't scrub the memory off."

The water stops. "Tell me one you can't scrub away?"

"You don't want them Katniss."

"You don't want to let them out of the box." She says.

"No. They don't matter."

'The worst part. It didn't go away. His pants were down. He was gone but it didn't go away. I stood there in the corner waiting for it to die too and …even dead I was afraid to move because he still could…hurt me." Katniss says no more and he realizes she has silently come undone again.

He stands up and with towel in hand, he envelops her in his soothing calm arms and his tempered voice. "He couldn't still hurt you. It is a common post-mortem condition when death has occurred due to brain injury. It has nothing to do with you. He can't ever hurt you. Do you understand?"

She nods and after several deep breaths she is calm again. They return to the sitting area. Peeta must be worse off than she is, for he and Haymitch have still not appeared. Finnick looks at her frumpy old lady pajamas and grins.

"Those are pretty." He smirks. "Are you kissable yet?"

"Not really. I guess." She shrugs.

"You didn't mind kissing me on the roof." He reminds her.

"You were not kissing me then. You were kissing someone else." She smiles and shakes her head at him.

"You can't be called stupid." He shakes his head at her as he leans in once more. "Mmmm, soap, shampoo, and lilacs, sweet and very kissable." He waits for her again. This time she gives her permission.

Finnick tasted of champane and had a salty something. He was not dead for this kiss and her heart soared as she found his lips pleasant, soft and untarnished by the terrible thing that had happened.

"Crap on a biscuit. Odair every time I see you, your mouth is on my wife." Peeta says annoyed.

Finnick continues his pursuit of Katniss' lips but finally the grins win and he has to stop. "You know Peeta, I can't help you there. She's got it bad."

Peeta curses. Katniss rolls her eyes. "It's ok Peeta. It was a demonstration. He had to prove he could kiss better than last time and had to prove to me that I still could. At all."

"Oh." Peeta flops down in an armchair, "How noble of him." Peeta glares at Finnick, blue eyes full of turbulence.

Katniss looks behind her and Haymitch is standing there arms crossed, face calculating. Katniss reaches out her hand to him. He winks at her but doesn't take it.

He clears his throat, "Katniss. You said the doctor congratulated you. For killing the guard?"

"No. He congratulated me on being pregnant." She says watching the news sink into the room.

Peeta stands with his mouth open. Haymitch grunts. Katniss' eyes go to Cinna.

"And did you tell them it was mine?" Cinna asks with his low calm voice showing no emotion at the news.

Katniss glances at Peeta whose eyes keep shifting between her and Cinna. His mouth moves and yet no sound has escaped. Cinna refuses to acknowledge Peeta at all, he looks only at Katniss. "No. That was what they wanted to know. Your father considered me a person of interest. Wanted to see to the welfare of his descendants. I told them it was my husband's."

"Thank Velvet. You would be out of the games if you admitted to it's parentage, however your fate would be no better. The child would be warped or tortured into his world."

"Wait You? It's you? Katniss? I thought it was Finnick Odair?" Peeta finds his voice.

"Hey, she molested me. I had nothing to do with it. I can prove it. Want me to call up the feed?" Finnick is joining the conversation but he is not going to play dad. "Besides, I have had the monthly shot."

Peeta is still talking but he turns to Finn in horror. "Him to?" he says his voice cracking slightly. "Haymitch do you have anything to share?"

"Haymitch turned me down. That isn't the point right now Peeta?" Katniss says distracted.

"Turned you…?" Peeta rubs his eyes as if he could squeeze these images out of his mind. He takes several deep breaths. " No. It isn't. Who the hell is his father that he has the power to yank her from the games? That is what we should be focusing on. No matter what, out is better."

"No it isn't." Katniss says quickly.

"How is it not better? You go in the arena and we both know what it means. No. You could be…"

"Shut up Peeta. His father would butcher her. You have no idea." Haymitch says with finality.

"You don't know that Haymitch…"

Cinna steps forward and puts his hand on Peeta's shoulder. "Peeta. Look at me. I do look like him. My father is Lanus Snow. Please don't consider leaving her at his mercy. He has none. The child could be yours as well."

Peeta sucks in his breath. "No. No!" Peeta runs his fingers through his blond hair. "This can't be happening. Tell me we are not tattooed with a pick ax? Even if you win, Katniss? You will be alone. Cinna has to stay away from you. Finn and I will be…gone. The only one left will be…"

"Haymitch." Cinna says, following Peeta's train of thought. "Congratulations Haymitch, it looks like you are about to be a father?"

"Wait. Just stop." Katniss yells. "I am right here. You are not making me some…"

"That is a terrible plan. I would be arrested for relations with a tribute." Haymitch says annoyed.

"So who does that leave?" Cinna sighs with a smile.

"Gale. She can marry Gale." Peeta says with a huge sigh of relief.

"Stop." Katniss says. "I feel like a bottle of Ripper's mash. You are all passing me around like it. I am back, I am fine and tomorrow I go into the arena. This is no big deal right now."

"Sorry Peeta, guess you're stuck with her for now." Haymitch says.

Peeta looks down at the floor and sits next to Finnick on the coffee table. "You guys are being sarcastic, right?"

Cinna nods. Finnick stands and says that he needs to go home. "Back to my mine shaft." He says to Katniss.

"I'll see you tomorrow Finn." Katniss says quickly.

Finn turns around. "That you will." He dips his head to her.

Haymitch stands. His face is a mask of scowl and glower. "This is goodbye for us too, sweetheart."

"Wow. That's true. It's crazy to realize that I am not the mentor this year." Finn reaches up and touches Haymitch's cheek. "Thank you. For all of it. I will do my best."

Katniss watches, eyes wide, as Haymitch bends his head to Finn and pulls him to him with gentle familiar kindness. She had never seen a man kiss a man like that before, but something about it felt sweet and sad, not dirty or strange in any way. Katniss could see that Haymitch had the same effect on Finn that he had on her. Finn's face had smoothed and his eyes were closed in blissful sensation. When they parted, Haymitch kisses Finn's forehead, whispered something to him and Katniss found them beautiful.

Haymitch watches Finn head to the door. With a sigh he turns back to the room, stopping at the big grin on Katniss' face.

"Get an eye full, sweetheart?" He says ready for battle.

"Did you see how much he loves you? He won't hurt me or Peeta, if he loves you that much." Katniss surmises.

"Congratulations on finally catching up with the class." He says. "I need a drink."

Katniss hops up and goes to the bar, selecting the pale orange stuff she has seen him smacking after sipping. She hands it to him. "So how are you going to save us?" She smiles wickedly.

"What makes you think I can?" Haymitch asks back.

"It's what you do. You save us." She says letting her eyes shine for him for just a moment.

"And you make sure it's a full time job. You let me worry about that. You worry about keeping yourself in one piece, so I have something left to save. Now, you need to go to bed."

Katniss stops and her hand goes to her mouth. "Oh." She feels herself tear up but knows he will hate her for it. She approaches him slowly stopping ten feet from him. "I need a kiss for luck." Her voice is hoarse.

Haymitch's head tilts. "Then get over here. I am not chasing you down." He sounds like he detests the thought, but his eyes don't hide his thoughts as well.

Peeta's eyes are about to pop out of his head when she obeys. Haymitch blinks fast and clears his throat. He takes a deep breath and looks in her eyes, openly in desire without sarcastic foolery. He bends down and oozes upon her like a seductive monster. He locks on her eyes, waiting for any twitch of fear and moves slowly, imperceptibly. His lips graze hers as he cradles her lower and lower. When his mouth finally fastens upon her, she is his. The room fades and only Haymitch exists. He makes her feel so calm, safe and relaxed that he is nearly like a drug. She becomes a rag doll, limp and soft in his arms. He holds the kiss forever until Katniss feels like she has floated away and stopped existing. The only thing left of her is peaceful want.

When he stands her back up he stares in her eyes again and says, "Know your enemy. Know your strengths but most of all, know who you can trust and who you can't. Expect anything. And sweetheart, stay alive. Now go enjoy yourself a little, then rest. No late night tonight."

"Yes, Haymitch." She sighs. She hates herself for being so lost by him, but she really feels so much better now. "I hate you…"

"forever more." He finishes. Kissing her on the forehead.

She nods. Haymitch turns and repeats the performance with Cinna, who sighs like a teen with stars in his eyes when Haymitch lets him up for air. "You be careful. You get done with the launch, you come back to the center. I have you designated this year. Don't dally about."

"Yes, I will head directly there upon landing." Cinna smiles and Haymitch messes up his hair. Cinna rakes his finger through his hair twice and each bit falls perfectly back into place.

Haymitch heads toward Peeta, who leaps over the furniture avoiding him. "You stay the hell away from me you old creepy pervert! Don't even think of trying that crap again!"

Katniss and Cinna laugh. Peeta looks over his shoulder at Katniss. "He is a bad influence on you Katniss. Bad Mentor. No tribute kissing. Ever."

"Stay with her Peeta." Haymitch says all joking aside.

"You know I will." Peeta says. "Thanks Haymitch."

"We'll see, "Haymitch says finishing his drink. "Keep it down you two." He sets his drink down and heads down the hall, closing his door.

Cinna picks up his jammer and he and Katniss head to her room.

_**"Yes, I believe that, if there's nothing else I believe. It saved itself up to happen. I could feel it for a long time, I was saving something up, I went around doing one thing and feeling another. God, it was all there. It's a wonder it didn't show on me, like fat. And now here I am, messing up your life. They might follow me here." Fahrenheit 451**_

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><p>.<p>

_Ok, this is getting way too long, need to break it here. Do you think she did the right thing? All things considered? I know this wasn't a fun chapter, but I do imagine the victors handling trauma with dark humor and inappropriate joking. Thus you had everyone making daddy roulette jokes instead of facing that this is a serious situation about Katniss actually being pregnant. I do realize it takes two weeks from implant for progesterone levels to change – but that is our technology. I figure about nine days from opening ceremony – three days for fertilized egg to implant – she's only about six days along – but Panem medicine – with bone growing and all the mutation technology has developed more sensitive pregnancy tests as well - at least I need it to be that way for the story so -phhhhh._

_Next chapter will have more Cinna. Yes he reacted very off –but Cinna was always so very calm – so I warped that as he would all but shut down emotionally in the face of her being taken and nothing he could do about it. I also felt he would be very much calculating what the world has dumped in his lap at the very moment he's sealed his own doom with his father._

_I hope Haymitch kissing everyone was not too out there and you can see he was sort of making his promises to each one to not let them down. He didn't come out and say – I am breaking you out of the arena – but he spoke in Haymitch code and of course Katniss got it. I am going with he could not be certain of the particulars until he gets confirmation his stolen hovercraft is functional. In other words he has several irons in the fire and which one will heat up first is still unknown even to him. I just had to have Peeta with a little personality freaking at Haymitch kissing him – again. (lol – and his whole reaction to Katniss and her many events of the week)_

_Thanks everyone for the amazing reviews! Ellenka – wow that was a fantastic sweet review , thank you for taking the time you do to share your thoughts in reviews and PM's ++++ Estrunk – hope this chapter filled that hole a bit – his motive for not saying ok here's what I am up to is he doesn't know yet, but they at least have some hope that something is up +++++ Maerad-of-Pellinor28 –Yes the arena is the same and I will wrap canon into the exchanges but will not do day by day arena – think Peeta waking up being kissed by Finnick –after his Haymitch reaction –hehehe. No sticking with canon on Cinna for launch –evil grin you will see. +++ Blue Dot77 – lol you asked for an update an hour after I posted that one—hehehe. I am good – but not that good_.


	6. Chapter 6

**Pleasure to burn - chapter six**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn  
><strong>Summary<strong>: _The launch. Why Cinna wears gold eyeliner._  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Katniss/Cinna, Haymitch

** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author notes**: This chapter is much shorter than the others. It must be because I don't want to muck up the occurrence with fluffy.

**Warning:**_ may contain any of the following ingredients –(old people, language. Spoilers, Sexual discussion, ghosts, sex, smexy lemons, smutty thoughts, sexual reference, sexual innuendo, reference to past violence, sadness, bondage, violence, dead characters being discussed, alcohol use, caffeine use, reference to man love, unintended exhibitionism, naked people, infidelity, torture, reference to adultery, reference to other persecuted unacceptable sex (threesome), reference to possible non-consent and prostitution -whew the warning alone could be hazardous) If you have any allergies to these subjects, please take appropriate measures for your maturity level. Side effects may include but not be limited to: flaming of the author, Pm grouchiness, and unwanted hair growth._

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><p>Cinna closes the door behind him. Katniss stands frozen, as if her own thought takes all her available circuits and the rest of her system has shut down. They stand this way for a few moments. Katniss looks around the room. She lets her fingers touch the strange pottery and the knobby material of the red chair. She looks out the window, at the chaos taking place below in the city. Her eyes fall on her reflection, ghosted by the light in the room on the window, and the man standing quietly behind her.<p>

"I'm sorry." Katniss finally says.

"What could you have to be sorry for?" Cinna asks cocking his head.

"If you watch me die, you watch your child perish as well. I have made this harder on you." She says with a shake of her head.

"I would rather see that then you in his clutches. That must sound cold to you." He smiles slightly.

"You know you are dead anyway don't you. The dress. It was amazing but it has killed you." She bows her head.

"Yes. I thought you might like it. Even if the chance is small, it makes me strangely happy to think of it. I would give anything to hold him …or her just once, but we both know it will never be. Still, it is a sweet dream." He approaches her and standing behind her, slips his arms around her and protectively puts his hands on her stomach. She leans in to him. Meeting his eyes in the translucent mirror image, she sighs.

"Cinna. We are both going to die. He or she dies with us. It isn't a sweet dream to me, It is a nightmare. This charming perfect thing, destroyed before its heart even beats. It makes me sick." She turns and hides her face in his shoulder. Her breath is bitter labor but no tears come.

"You never know, we could be just fine. Both of us. We would have to keep it a secret, but it would be so delicious." She shakes her head. "Then think of it like this. Wherever we live after, we will not just be Cinna and Katniss. We will be a family. I won't be alone in death after all. Someone will care that I existed. It must be hard for you to understand. Everyone loves you."

She can't stand to reply. Her lips seal on his and he knows he must be gentle at this moment. Visions of a child with his eyes and her frown, ballet in his mind and he smiles.

They eventually get around to making love, but for a while, they both just pretend this is a normal evening and they are just a couple in love who are expecting their first child. They cuddle and dream of names and wonder about what the first words would have been. Cinna votes for 'tulle' but Katniss swears it would have to be 'stopithaymitch' because he would no doubt wart the child to distraction.

There was some sleep before the dawn, restless and filled with the terror of loss and the hope of the sound of a baby crying. But the dawn arrived and they must answer the calls of fate. Katniss looks at Haymitch's door as she passes, wishing for his steady voice, knowing he will die piece by piece in the next few days. She can't grasp that she won't ever see him again, yet she isn't as afraid as she was. Somehow, the baby sooths her more than she can explain.

They board the hovercraft and Katniss knows Peeta, Finnick, Mags and the others must be only a few feet away, but she won't see them till after the launch. Cinna offers her all sorts of tasty morsels as they make the journey to the arena. She is determined to consume as many calories as possible, knowing the baby will suffer if she goes hungry. She sips water, remembering her last arena and how close she came to dieing of thirst.

They reach the launch facility, make the long walk to the assigned chamber and Katniss examines the clothing provided. She looks at Cinna, confused by the light material. He shakes his head, unable to provide an answer about it's purpose. There is a special Maternity-Pack attached to the arm. It contains Ginger pills, water purifiers and mineral supplements. She smiles at the silly picture of them worried about her nutrients as they send her off to die.

"I am taking a shower. Will you join me?" She asks.

What begins as simple cleansing becomes desperate heat. They take this last chance of pleasure in the place of their eternal parting, knowing someone probably watches, but unable to find that knowledge relative to the need they have to connect one last time. Katniss is not quiet in her pleasure and Cinna doesn't prolong the act this time. He fills her and clings to her, trying to take in every hopeless second.

They don't speak when it is finished. He washes her hair and braids it wet. He helps her into her clothing as if dressing a sacred old world princess. There is a bruise on her cheek from yesterdays attack and she has bruises under her eyes from her injured nose. She is pregnant. She does not go into the arena as many peoples idea of beauty, yet to Cinna, she is shining. He air brushes her bruises away, lines her eyes with the same waterproof semi-permanent skin dye, touches her lips with the color of berries and lays color and health to her cheeks. He shadows her nose, narrowing the swelling and he feeds her cherries and marzipan, telling her it is his favorite. He tells her many small things as they wait.

He is fond of a place called Atlantis. He likes orange juice more than wine. There are times when his fingers itch to sew. His favorite time of day is late at night. He had a dog as a pet one time, and it was tame. His mother's name was Genesis. He prefers the color white to all others. He feels safest in the swamps of his mother's wild people and thinks the water forests are filled with magic. He speaks briefly of his mother and tells her a strange little story called "The Way to Eldorado" that makes Katniss cry, though she has no idea what it means.

"Pass the mountains of the moon, seek the valley of shadow. Three days they say we float a way to find our Eldorado. Make a tear for the toothy and pass him on the morrow, the witches veil shall guide you far beyond the land of sorrow. When all is lost and life's no more, you shall land upon the far-flung shore of charming Eldorado."

"It is pretty, but I don't know what it means." She says.

He smiles. "It is the land of Gold. It is a myth, but it is why I wear the gold. To remind me to believe in magic and hope there are places that are greater then ourselves. To keep my eyes open." He pins her gold mockingjay pin to her outfit.

"That is nice. Say it again Cinna." Katniss closes her eyes and says 'again' over and over until the voice announces the launch.

They kiss again then she steps up on the plate. "For all time, I bet on you, my woman on fire." He says kissing her on the forehead then bending to her stomach, kissing his child farewell.

"It was worth it to know you. If any bits of me exist. They will love you." Katniss whispers with tears and a smile.

The tube comes down between them and they stare at each other as nothing happens. As the moment passes, Katniss looks up and shrugs at him. He walks around the tube searching to see if there is a malfunction. He takes his place again and shakes his head, not understanding what could be holding up the launch.

Suddenly the door behind him bursts open and three peacekeepers spring into the room. Cinna doesn't protest as they cuff him. His eyes lock on Katniss and he mouths not to worry. She shakes her head in fear and he smiles that he will be fine. The first strike knocks Cinna on his knees. Katniss can see the one who hit him grinning and flexing his studded glove. The other two hold Cinna by the arms and hair as blow after blow is knocking the life out of him before her eyes.

He holds her gaze as long as he can, but his eyes glass over and half close. She has been screaming and beating her own fists bloody for ten minutes against the thick tube. The glass doesn't yield and the peacekeeper's studded glove has made Cinna no longer recognizable. His eyes have lost the light and his face is peaceful. They let him fall forward and he curls only a little before all three begin kicking him. Katniss has lost her voice now and as the blows stop causing any reflex, she knows she is meant to view this as a punishment. He's making her watch him die so she will lose her mind. Snow knows she lied and it is Cinna's baby. This is his little lesson for her.

They roll him over, his bladder has released. He doesn't move. One bends to him and feels his neck, checking for a pulse. He grins, looks at Katniss and shakes his head. She stops beating on the glass. She can't help him. Cinna is gone.

They speak for a minute as Katniss holds her breath, watching Cinna for any movement. They bend to him and one holds the door as the other two drag him by the feet. All that is left is the blood streaking the floor. His head flops to the side just as his murderers roughly yank him the rest of the way out of the room. The door slams closed, with a final shudder and the tiny window shows only the plain cream wall. The launch tube grinds to movement with a mechanical whir and Katniss begins ascending.

Sickened and terrified, Katniss forces herself to stand. All she sees is water. She bends and tastes it. Salt. Like tears. She is standing in an ocean of tears thinking she could cry this many tears for Cinna. But, he would not want that right now. She stands again, wondering if this is the place they will put out his girl on fire. With a calming sigh she turns. Either she will win, Haymitch will save her or she will die. Cinna dead, has just made that last fate a win for her. She waits for the gong, chin up and a small smile on her calm face.

Haymitch knows his assistant is not coming. He taps the pass in his hand, knowing he has lost the first round. He watches the launch center monitor. Cinna lies so still. He is lifted onto a gurney and covered in a sheet and wheeled back into the launch room as Katniss dives into the water on his second monitor. Portia will be frantic as she realizes Cinna is not on the return flight. Haymitch keeps his face stoic and scowls.

The sheet soaks up blood from the body and Haymitch drinks his first failure before turning his attention to the matter at hand. "Don't fall apart sweetheart. Don't give them the satisfaction of it."

She drags herself out on the shore, having swum as fast as Finnick the fish and Haymitch watches the two in their defensive stance. She was smooching on him last night but she is undone enough now she could kill him. "Careful Finn." He winces as Katniss brings her bow up, pointing an arrow at Finnick Odairs heart.

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><p><em><strong>I know it's short and sad - hope you liked it anyway. Thank you all for the dynamite reviews - and -ellenka – You are Just So sweet!<strong>_


	7. Chapter 7

**Pleasure to burn - chapter seven**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn  
><strong>Summary<strong>: _The games people play. _  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Katniss, Cinna, Peeta, Finnick, Haymitch and Heavensbee

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author notes**: Yes, I always play within canon but I do twist it. The hints are there. For those with eyes to see, you will find the answers, grin.

**Warning:**_ may contain any of the following ingredients –(old people, language. Spoilers, Sexual discussion, ghosts, sex, smexy lemons, smutty thoughts, sexual reference, sexual innuendo, reference to past violence, sadness, bondage, violence, dead characters being discussed, alcohol use, caffeine use, reference to man love, unintended exhibitionism, naked people, infidelity, torture, reference to adultery, reference to other persecuted unacceptable sex (threesome), reference to possible non-consent and prostitution -whew the warning alone could be hazardous) If you have any allergies to these subjects, please take appropriate measures for your maturity level. Side effects may include but not be limited to: flaming of the author, Pm grouchiness, and unwanted hair growth._

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><p><em><strong>I'm afraid of them and they don't like me because I'm afraid. My uncle says his grandfather remembered when children didn't kill each other. But that was a long time ago when they had things different. – Fahrenheit 451<strong>_

Katniss stood glaring at Finnick. Finnick didn't understand. Last night she had trusted him. Now she was going to kill him. He had sworn his life to her for Haymitch and now she was already dead. Katniss was just like him. Her soul was no longer attached. He sighed. "You can swim too?" His eyes glide over her form, wondering how he had missed this lovely girl on fire. "Where did you learn that?" That was sure one trick Haymitch didn't teach her.

She glares. "Had a big bath tub."

"Talented girl. Do you like the arena?" He smiles. His eyes are calculating, watching her for any sign that she is going to release that arrow.

"No. They seem to have built it just for you. I'd say that's a pretty big vote of confidence in your ability to win." Her eyes look him up and down.

_**The fire was gone, then back again, like a winking eye. He stopped, afraid he might blow the fire out with a single breath. But the fire was there and he approached warily, from a long way off.- Fahrenheit 451**_

"Lucky thing we are allies then. Or was that a goodbye kiss last night?" Finn says forcing himself to lower his weapons. His green eyes radiate that he would rather be betrayed then fight her. "Haymitch will be so upset if we don't make any effort."

Katniss still searches for the trap when her eyes fall on a gold bangle on his wrist. Haymitch had worn one like it as had the doctor. The light flares back into her eyes for a second. "They killed Cinna. During my launch."

His eyes go wide and he yells, "Duck!" before he sinks his trident into the chest of the man from District 5. Seeing the Drunk who threw up on the sword fighting floor groan and die, was like seeing Haymitch die somehow. She retrieved Finns trident from his chest as the cannon boomed the first death of the game.

Enobaria was sneaking up to Finn, Katniss sent an arrow her way but she dived back in the water too quickly. She wondered if they would hurt Haymitch next. They had killed Cinna so why not him too. They searched the Cornucopia only to discover there was no food or water.

_**He waded in and stripped in darkness to the skin, splashed his body, arms, legs, and head with raw liquor; drank it and snuffed some up his nose.- Fahrenheit 451**_

Haymitch sat on pins and needles. He kept looking at the launch room and he was sure he was going to break this time. He could not do this. He had never been very dependable. People expected him to fall apart and be drunk. That's what he should do. Just drink til it's over. To bad, this year everyone he loved was down there instead of joking around next to him. They were down there and counting on him. Cinna had counted on him and was lost at once. His promise had not been kept. Haymitch watched his victor finally make peace with Finnick Odair. He watched Finnick retrieve Peeta who was less than enthused to be at kissy-fish's mercy.

Effie was the first to arrive, then Portia. He waved them over,dreading what he had to tell them. "Cinna was not on the trans home?" she whispered.

"I know. It seems he had a more pressing appointment." Haymitch says glibly because he can't say it any other way and not break down. He twists the monitor around. Effie's eyes grow wide. Portia looks for a moment, nods and without a word, leaves.

Another confrontation. This girl is determined to kill Finnick for some reason. Even Peeta could see it this time and stepped right in the way. Haymitch had a feeling Peeta had just saved Odair's life. He grinned as he couldn't help but wonder if Peeta would be happy with that choice the next time he caught her kissing Finnick or worse.

He watched Chaff die. He died fighting, protecting Seeder. It was a good death. Brutus killed Seeder clean and mercifully. He was saving up his real event for Katniss. When Peeta died, Haymitch began to drink. He had to. He walked away as Katniss began franticly shaking him.

He was in the men's room when he heard the cheering. They must have gotten her too. Well, He would get Finnick and Johanna out. He would have to use her as a martyr rather than a leader. He walked back in the war room with the hatred of hell's demons in his eyes.

The mentor from district four, who's name he could never remember, so he called him clownfish, hollered, "You picked one hell of a time for head duty Haymitch, my tribute just huffed life back into yours and Peeta is mad as can be!"

"What do you mean? How? And why is he mad?" Haymitch focused on the group. Finn was holding Katniss as she sobbed. Peeta was having a conniption.

Clownfish laughed. "He thinks Finnick was kissing him. It didn't help when he called him sleeping beauty. Your tribute is really offended by a man kissing him. That will sure be painful for him if he ever has to get all caught up with the rest of us." Every one laughed. Haymitch smiled. Peeta wasn't nearly as offended in private.

He took one last look at the launch room. His eyes locked on the gurney. The sheet lay crumpled on the floor and the gurney was empty, except for a pool of congealed blood. He backed the feed up. The body lay still. The screen glitches, then fades to static and snow and suddenly it is clear again, except the body is gone. Cinna is no longer in the room. Haymitch has no idea whether he has escaped or they have simply moved Cinna to storage. The arenas all have refrigeration units for the tributes. He hoped if he could get the damned hovercraft up and going, that he could get the answer one way or another.

He watches Mags go. He watches Finnick give up on the way down the mountain. Finnicks heart was tacky and when he closed his eyes on the beach, Haymitch never expected him to open them again. Katniss is busy tending her own pain, having no idea that Finnick is slipping away. Haymitch knew it wasn't the pain or the wounds or even the poison. The boy had been in more pain than most, while dumping quantities of poison in his system that should have killed him. Finnick had come to almost relish the pain. So his injuries shouldn't have been bringing him death.

Finnick Odair is leaving because he is without any anchor. Mags had kept his soul tethered. She slipped under the waves and Finn is floating with the currents. He is uncontrollably twirling in the doldrums without breath to escape. Katniss and Peeta begin tending to him. It is enough that Finnick opens his eyes, head in Katniss' lap and he smiles.

They join up with Beetee, Wiress, and Johanna. Haymitch sighs in relief. The mockingjays are cruel to her and Finnick. She not only hears Prim, but Cinna screams for her to help him. Haymitch had heard those screams once upon a time.

Cinna had been ten when Haymitch first met him. He shadowed his father then. Haymitch could see the boy was in pain, but what did he care. By the time he was a teen, the kid had the cruelty of his father but the heart of his long dead mother. He bought Haymitch the first several times and treated him to horrors. Haymitch hated him. He had no idea that his feelings would someday change for that lost boy so full of evil. He could not please his father. Cinna wore the marks of Coriolanus' displeasure.

Haymitch sends Katniss cream for the sores. An Avox hands him a note. There are words on the paper that make him want to cry for joy. 'Send bread.' The hover craft is on it's way. He leaves his controls, with preorders of bread to be delivered automatically.

As monkeys attack, the head gamemaker and several mentors are not around to see the event. They are not missed immediately, because it is not uncommon for them to take sleep breaks or wander to the cafeteria or disappear for showers. The training center is vast and has many amenities. The one amenity being heavily utilized at that moment is the roof. Twenty people step onto the hovercraft mechanism and are gone before the capital has a chance to notice.

The games are now being played on a much larger scale. Haymitch and Heavensbee grin at each other and shake hands.

"Well brother, we are all or nothing now. Lets go spoil a tyrants sport." Heavensbee says with a carefree air, yet his temples flow with fear. His shirt clings to him and his normally perfect makeup has smeared. Things are not a total failure, but they couldn't be called successful exactly either.

_**"Yet somehow we think we can grow, feeding on flowers and fireworks, without completing the cycle back to reality. –Fahrenheit 451**_

Katniss somehow figures out just exactly what she needs to do while making a complete mess of the entire business. They have broken in and are plucking every body they find as quickly as they can. Haymitch enters the building by the arena with the single purpose of finding Cinna, dead or alive. He is not in the cooler, nor does he seem to be in the building. Haymitch uses his black-light flashlight to follow the blood trail. It leads outside and downward, to the river. The man was either drug out and his body dumped into the water or he is in deep, deep trouble.

Haymitch closed his eyes and sighs. He signals for them to come get him. They will make a pass down river to see if there is any sign. Haymitch had read a book one time about this river by a fellow named Mark Twain. The book had cost him a whole season of victor pay and it was long ago banned, but he looked out on the river called Big Muddy now and could see the big paddles of a river boat still rotting on a sandbank and he smiled a little. Cinna would never stare back at him from the eyes of a mutt.

_**He was three hundred yards downstream when the Hound reached the river. Overhead the great racketing fans of the helicopters hovered. A storm of light fell upon the river and Montag dived under the great illumination as if the sun had broken the clouds. He felt the river pull him further on its way, into darkness. - Fahrenheit 451**_

There was more bad news as he reached the control room. They had not gotten everyone and were not going to be able to get them all. Haymitch took control, not giving a damned if he killed them all. He swayed the craft back and forth avoiding the magnetic pulse weapons as Heavensbee returned fire. He hovered over someone, having no idea who. Finnick Odair is brought up. The next body is tagged to the mechanism. Katniss is not even in the craft before they sustain the crushing blow.

"If you keep going, we are all good as dead Abernathy. You got the Mockingjay. We have to go, listen to that. The coils are overheating. It will rip itself apart. Go!"

Haymitch sets his jaw and pulls away. He knows he is making the good choice. He knows it isn't the right choice, but some dead, is better then all of them. " Oh God. Peeta. I am sorry Jojo."

He heads the hovercraft downriver, knowing he has left two people he loves to a terrible fate. He lets one of the others fly now as he goes to check on those he's rescued. They all look like hell. Beetee isn't expected to make it. Katniss is unconscious and Finnick is concussed from the explosion. The medics work on them with frantic attention. Haymitch watches her face, knowing her wrath is all he will know from this moment forward. He had promised to save Peeta. He had betrayed her.

There is no sign of the stylist. He is more then likely dead, but where ever he is, he's better off then Peeta and Johanna. Haymitch sits down with a bottle and knocks back five shots in as many minutes. They have almost made their low altitude escape when they have more bad news. There are a fleet of hovercrafts headed straight to district twelve. They have orders to level it to the ground. Heavensbee sends an order across broad-band. "The mockingjay is in flight."

The rebellion is in effect. Haymitch gets ahold of Undersea and warns him. He hears the panic in the mans voice as he as he screams for his wife and daughter to run and warn the town. Little Madge will be heading to the justice building to toll the freedom bell in warning. He smirks at his own view of the girl. She was no child now; she is the same age as his mockingjay.

_**Always at night the alarm comes. Never by day! Is it because the fire is prettier by night? More spectacle, a better show?- Fahrenheit 451**_

Heavensbee joins Haymitch. "Eight have mutinied successfully. Three more went down in the attempt. Five were not able to transition to us but they were landed and the rebels escaped into the wilds. We have nine hovercrafts now. They are on the way to twelve to retrieve survivors."

"That means we can pick up nine hundred at the maximum." Haymitch sighs.

"Yes, if that many live." Heavensbee can be counted on to look on the bright side. They need to evacuate eight thousand and he's going to be pleased if there are eight hundred left alive.

Haymitch is consumed with the need to fix the hovercraft they are on. He watches the repair team beat and dissect the pieces and they seem to be determined to cuss him into the next world. He is trying to keep too many things going at one time. Finally they get the craft back up and the vibration has eased some. Finnick is alert. His first thoughts are if anyone got Annie out of four.

"We are on our way there now. We have had some complications. They have attacked twelve and the news is not good. In fact, we have had none for the last hour. There won't be a lot of time to get your family." Haymitch says darkly.

The communications officer waves them over. "We can't get to them. They were just evacuated by the capitol. Some of his uncles are out to sea but Annie is on her way to the capitol now. That was the main target from what they are saying. I am sorry, but the flack fields have been set too thick. They will take days to dissipate and make travel to or from four impossible." He says with regret.

A howl fills the hovercraft. Haymitch didn't realize Finnick had been right behind him. He doesn't fall down with pain. As Haymitch turns Finnick punches him right in the face. Not expecting the blow, Haymitch tumbles like a tree. Finnick sits on his chest pinning his arms and delivers more blows.

"The only thing I asked. My life, for one thing you twisted, heartless…"Finn feels a stab in his arm and tumbles forward.

Haymitch pushes Finn off of him and stands, eye swelling and blood gushing from his mouth. He thanks the medic and bends to help pick Finnick up, grunting at how much the man weighs. "He's like a ton of coal."

When Finn wakes the second time he is much more calm. He convinces everyone that he won't kill Haymitch, and he is let out of his restraints. They are debating Finnick's intent to end his life when, Katniss, wild eyed and looking insane comes into the room holding a syringe. Butt flapping in the wind of her hospital gown, she locks eyes with her mentor.

Haymitch turns and smiles. "Done knocking yourself out, sweetheart?"

Katniss launches forward, but Haymitch stands and captures her wrists. "So you and a syringe against the capitol? See, this is why you don't get to make the plans. Drop it."

Katniss cries out as Haymitch forces her wrist into an unnatural angle. When she does drop the pathetic weapon, Haymitch sweeps her up and carries her to the nearest chair, plops broth down in front of her and demands that she eat. He carefully explains exactly what has occurred. Katniss is listening suspiciously but she only has one question. Haymitch avoids it until she finally had had enough.

"Where is Peeta?" she hisses.

"He and Johanna were picked up by the capitol." His gaze drops.

"You worthless slag sucker. I should have never let you talk me into this." She doesn't care that a table is between them, she leaps across it claws out and skin flying. Haymitch contains her quickly but they are both too emotional at this moment to really know what they are saying. She knocks his chair over and even though he has her wrists, he is helpless to stop her attack because they are wedged between the wall, the table and the chair.

"I saved your ass again you ungrateful bitch." Haymitch shouts.

"You promised you would save him. You swore on your soul to me and betrayed me. I hope you rot in hell for it." Katniss is unable to get her hands to his face again, but she is using her weight to bounce on his ribs.

"I am in hell. You are the damned queen and have been nothing but trouble since I laid eyes on you." Haymitch grunts trying to get her off him.

"You drunken perverted liar. You killed Peeta. You killed him. You should have just left me to die too," she screams and spits on him.

"I bloody well wish I had. He's worth the price of a drunken little slut any day!" Haymitch says, now livid.

"Your right. I am a slut and you're a drunken whore and that's All I will ever see again. If I am a fool, it is because I trusted you. Finn told me not to trust anyone. I should have listened." Finnick is trying to pull her off him but can't get leverage with her flailing legs kicking anything in reach.

"You think I didn't try to save him? I tried. If it had just been me I would have died trying, but I wasn't the only life at stake, you stupid nobody." Haymitch grunts as Finn loses his grip on her and she lands on his stomach, knees giving him no quarter.

"Your the nobody Haymitch. Everyone hates you. Not one person in the world cares if you live or die. Nobody cares. I wish you were dead." She is getting weaker, but still can't be lifted.

Finnick grabs her around the middle and yanks her as hard as he can. He pulls backward and still she fights even as he loses his balance and crashes to the floor over another chair. "Katniss. Stop. You need too-"

"If I were dead, you would still be trying to get out from under Brutus and begging me to help you. You would be taking it like a big girl by now. Want me to send you back?" Haymitch yells, finally able to roll off the chair and get to his hands and knees, holding his middle.

"That would be better than having to look at you. Murderer. Peeta killer. You let Cinna die and killed Peeta. I'd rather all the careers had a go then you ever think you might."

"You should be so lucky. I wouldn't waste my time with your skinny ugly hide. Must not be too impressive if Finnick fell asleep on you." Haymitch is almost standing again and his whole body exudes pure hate for this wild girl, broken in Finnick arms.

"You won't ever know. I'd rather be passed around by mutts then have you in my bed." Katniss screams and bucks, trying to get away from Finnick.

"Shut up Haymitch. Shut up or I am going to kill you myself!" Finnick screams.

Haymitch smiles. He nods to the medic. "Sweet dreams sweetheart. If you wake up sore, you will know I was there."

As soon as her eyes roll in her head and she relaxes. Haymitch leans over and sinks to the floor. "Damned you," he says realizing for the first time that a spoon is embedded in his leg, handle first.

Katniss is brought back to her table and restrained. Haymitch sits on a chair nearby glaring at her as she bangs her head trying to knock herself out. He has no idea how she stabbed him with a spoon. Hateful things continue to spew from her mouth, though they are incoherent now. Haymitch scowls as they bandage him up.

Katniss is out finally. Haymitch stands up and leaning over, kissing her forehead, says softly, "I am so sorry, sweetheart. I would trade places with him, if it would do you any good. Forgive me."

She doesn't hear him. Katniss lies so peacefully; nobody could suspect she had just made a spoon handle a weapon.

"Stay with her Finn. You both may hate me, but there is no reason you can't comfort each other." Haymitch limps into the control room again.

Finnick takes Katniss' hand. He bends forward to her bed and sobs inaudibly.

_**Do you know the legend of Hercules and Antaeus, the giant wrestler, whose strength was incredible so long as he stood firmly on the earth? But when he was held, rootless, in mid-air, by Hercules, he perished easily. If there isn't something in that legend for us today, in this city, in our time, then I am completely insane.- Fahrenheit 451**_

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><p><em>Ok I just had to imagine the 'terrible' things they would say to each other that was left out of canon. Beings they had to be unforgivable things, I wanted to play with them and see what they could have been. I hope I left a question in your mind about Cinna. The hints are there – be sure to read the 451 stuff. My daughter did a paper on the parallel symbols in Fahrenheit 451 and Hunger games. There were 18 at the time and Mockingjay had not even come out. Imagine our grins when we saw the Squad number. The teacher had felt the connections a little iffy, but certainly took a second look once the last book confirmed the symbolic connection. I have hit 30 reviews - thank you all so much! That just thrills me!<em>


	8. Chapter 8

Pleasure to burn - chapter eight

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn  
><strong>Summary<strong>: _Lucky numbers can be subjective. Katniss has to play Mockingjay while she thinks all is lost with two people she loves. Gale time with a bag of bad cat. _  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Katniss, Haymitch, Gale and Heavensbee

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author notes**: Thank You to the following for following, reviewing and especially for Both! Check out these profiles for other great stories! If you like this story you may also find other stories you like, so check out my other offerings and feel free to browse my favorites.

AlenaAbernathy

Animal-Queen-Stephanie

Blue Dot77

CarolinaPhoenix

IWillNotStayOnTheGround

Maerad-of-Pellinor28

micmic022

Smileyface Devil

**Warning:**_ may contain any of the following ingredients –(old people, **language.** Spoilers, Sexual discussion, ghosts, sex, smexy lemons, smutty thoughts, **sexual reference**, **sexual innuendo**, reference to past violence, sadness, bondage, **violence,** **dead characters being discussed,** alcohol use, caffeine use, reference to man love, unintended exhibitionism, naked people, infidelity, torture, reference to adultery, reference to other persecuted unacceptable sex (threesome), reference to possible non-consent and prostitution -whew the warning alone could be hazardous) If you have any allergies to these subjects, please take appropriate measures for your maturity level. Side effects may include but not be limited to: flaming of the author, Pm grouchiness, and unwanted hair growth._

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><p><em><strong>There must be something in books, things we can't imagine, to make a woman stay in a burning house; there must be something there. You don't stay for nothing. Fahrenheit 451<strong>_

Katniss spends time in the hospital, mostly being unconscious. When she wakes up, she doesn't seem able to respond at first. All she wants is to go to district 12. As bad of an idea as that is, Haymitch arranges it for her. They film her there, so at least it seems worth it a little. She walks with Gale as he describes the night the bombs came. She stoically asks about the people she knew. Gale tells stories of bravery and sacrifice. He tells of their friend Madge Undersee and how she stayed at the bell, warning people of the danger even as they sent missiles at the justice building.

They dig in the rubble a little and find the huge bell, charred black and ruined for all time. Katniss turns to the insects, as she has dubbed the camera crew and points at the bell. "The bells of freedom may be silent, but they toll in our hearts. Honor them with real freedom. Bring down the destroyers. Bring down the oppressor. Make us free again! Every person they take from us is important. Every person has a part. Madge died because she knew life is worth the price for freedom, even if it meant she would never see it. Her bell is not silent in my heart and someday it will ring again. Remember Madge Undersee."

They stop by the bakery owned by Peeta's family. Gale explains to her how they were trying to hand the refugees the supplies of food they had on hand as the building was torn apart in an inferno of heat. Gale looks right in the camera and with a slight head shake he says, "I am sorry Peeta. I know it doesn't help, but they died heroes. They were thinking ahead, trying to make sure there would be food. Your Dad had organized the other shop keepers in just minutes and they were loading carts and wheel barrows with supplies. They could have just run, but they were thinking of others. Your Mother was helping Mrs. Undersee."

Katniss brushed tears away as she touched the hulking ovens of the bakery. The only thing left was the twisted iron. She opened the door of the oven and found a rack of hard loaves still in the oven interior. They were hard as rocks but surprisingly looked as if they had just been baked.

She took out two of them and held them to her chest as if they were gold. "Even in the ashes we will live. Even if you make us hard and make us kill to survive," She holds one of the hard, impossibly beautiful loaves out to the camera, and then says, "We will live!"

The hovercraft warns there are enemy aircraft ten minutes away. Everyone runs for the transport. Katniss is suddenly thrusting the bread into Gale's hands and heading off another way. He stops and turns to watch her dive for a skittering fur covered creature. She pulls it up by the tail. The wild thing squalls and does everything it can to cause her damage as she stuffs it in her game bag without ceremony and runs for the hovercraft.

They herd into the cargo hold and Gale looks at her with his irritated question. Katniss shrugs and says, "Buttercup."

"You are kidding me? You risk us all for that creature? Thought you hated it?"

"I do. But I love my sister and she loves the stupid cat. Kind of like you and Peeta. It was nice what you said about his family. I think you are a hero too. I know you only see the ones you lost. You forget about the ones you saved." Katniss isn't looking at Gale as she says the last part. Her eyes meet Haymitch's and the look between them could not have been cut with a saw.

"You're the biggest pain in the ass I have ever met, sweetheart," Haymitch says, his voice sounding a little choked.

"I will hate you forever more, you sadistic barf factory." Katniss smiles a little and all the miles between them narrow.

"Go bother your kissing cousin there. Can't you see I have things to do?" Haymitch snarls.

"Didn't mean to interrupt your nap, you always sleep better after you jerk off," she says, then licks her lips and winks at him.

"Bitch." He throws a discarded glove at her.

"Whore." She follows Gale into the next room.

"You guys never are going to be ok, are you?' Gale says looking at her in compassionate confusion. His face tries so hard to hide his mirth at her terrible language.

Katniss smiles softly, looking back to where Haymitch is pulling his boots off and kicking back for the ride home. He has not ingratiated himself with the pilots and they refuse to let him drive the good hovercrafts. "We are now. He just apologized. Hey if you ever happen upon us, um kissing. Don't take it wrong ok? It's complicated." She chews her lip at his look of shock.

"You kissed. Him?" The eyes are wide with horror and his face reddens.

"It's just a victor thing. Don't take it wrong. I think he kisses everybody. Keep it in mind if he puckers up and heads your way. That's why I warned you."

"Kissing, fighting, name-calling. So tell me, when are you going to tell me about the pregnancy? Or is that one of those victor things too. I imagine it's Peeta's, but if you have to warn me about Haymitch, I guess I better put him on the list of possible as well. Odair has been hovering around a lot too. Can I expect to run across you and him kissing as well? Is he a victor thing too?" Gale's eyes are narrow and he looks at her with pain, not anger.

"Oh hell. Finnick. Yes. Very likely. How did you know about the baby?"

His eyes roll, "You mean you didn't hear Peeta announce it?"

"Oh. Yes. Wait, it isn't Peeta's. It is Cinna's and he is dead now so I am supposed to marry you if they don't get Peeta back, which they will but…"

"Do I get to play, or is this still a victor thing? I am thrilled with the romantic way in which you have proposed; however I suggest you draw your husband from your pool of persons I may be expected to find you kissing. It must have been a very interesting capitol vacation, as your home was about to be gone. As I was unable to eat or think for the terror of watching you die and knowing I couldn't do a thing. Again." Gale is fierce when he really gets angry. He is brooding right this minute.

_**Stuff your eyes with wonder ... live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds. See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. Ask no guarantees, ask for no security, there never was such an animal. And if there were, it would be related to the great sloth which hangs upside down in a tree all day every day, sleeping its life away. To hell with that ... shake the tree and knock the great sloth down on his ass.- Fahrenheit 451**_

"Gale I don't mean it to sound so crazy, but it's all screwed up anyway. I don't have time for dancing around with everyone's demand for perfect. Because I have a whole world of crap out there that I am responsible for now. My face is what holds this disaster together. You are what holds me together. If that is not something you want to be part of, I really don't blame you. But if I can't talk straight to you about anything, then this best friend thing is just wishful thinking. I kind of need to know that." Katniss stands there, arms crossed brow furrowed.

"Really. Well, you want truth? The whole truth? Then, to hell with the whole mess. I want to know what I have to do to get in your bed, or is that reserved for victors and stylish people too?" Gale tilts his head and his eyes squint, gauging how she will take it.

Her eyes flash anger, but she has to admit, it isn't like she was careful before the Quell. "You know, I get it, that you think I am really horrible now. I was the one with the Abernathy guarantee of death. We were saving Peeta and there was no reason not to take things I was never going to have, without concern for my future. There was no future. Now there is. I wish I could say what you want to hear. I'm not sorry. I am not even sure I was wrong. You and me? Not the time for deciding. I can't say no, Gale, but I don't have a yes in me right now either"

"I can live with that answer. I want more than your bed though. I want you to pick me over all of them, no matter who claimed you in sorrow and fear. If best friend, is all you have for me, then I will take it. I will accept whatever you can give me Catnip, but just so you know, I consider getting in your bed, a snare. My goal is capturing your heart." Gale moves closer as he says his peace, warning her of his intentions. He brushes her hair from her eyes and steadies her with his hand cupping her head as he smiles sadly and confidently presses his lips to hers without any thought of rejection. He had her first and he is sure he will win. He knows her better than any of them and he is certain his advantage will make him the most successful hunter of mockingjays, now that he knows they are grown enough to be caught.

She sighs at him and smiles, and then she shakes her head and asks, "What was that for?"

He grins. "I wanted you to know, for sure, I am in the running. Did it work?"

She slips her arms around him and buries her face in his shoulder, "It worked. Makes me curious about who taught you to kiss like that?" She peeks up at him, playfully jealous.

"Hawthorne secrets are vaulted to best friends. If you consider that, you will find it a benefit rather than looking forward to your secrets ever being on the lips of a braggart. I am envious of any lover you have taken for his memory of you, not because I have been awaiting the harvest of a single tree." He tilts his head and raises his brows to make sure she understands his meaning. Gale is not without other option and he won't pressure her for any commitment she doesn't want, but he will play for keeps and he intends to win. He is no cuckold hanging in the wings. She is free to pick him or not, but the price for her freedom from him, is that he too is free to make other choices.

"Fair enough, "she says, "You are pretty sure of yourself."

He takes a deep breath and blows it out, not quite letting it be a sigh. "I have loved you for a long time, little Catnip. Win or lose, I will keep doing that. I hope somewhere that counts for something. The problem for us both, is that it only counts if we win. If this war goes south on us, your wrong, about the future. Neither one of us have a future, if the rebels fail. That makes being whatever you need, a pretty big deal toward getting what I need. Like it or not, anything that helps you be strong, even pretending I don't want to kill some old mentor for kissing you, is my mission."

She grins. "Don't waste your time. The old bastard is indestructible. Can't even kill him with a spoon." She flops down next to her growling angry bag.

"Catnip, we should really have a talk about weapon selection in battle. I don't think you have quite mastered the concept of lethal." He sounds serious, but his eyes are sparkling with mirth as he takes a seat next to her, away from her struggling bag of Buttercup. "By the way, that thing in your bag has no such failing. I would prefer you not be near when it is again released upon the world."

"Mockingjay killed by insane kitty cat. Snow would die laughing at me," she says.

"We all would. Prim might even be upset with the fur ball for a day or two."

"I think we should not push that theory. She is really fond of him." Katniss leans on Gale and closes her eyes, too tired to even sort through all they had discussed.

Prim is in Buttercup-rapture when Katniss reveals the source of the yowling noise she brings into the room. Cat brains, being what they are, do not appreciate the trouble the rescuer has gone to, on behalf of his safe reunion with Prim. She remembers to seek out Haymitch before the night is over, amending her own concept of her savior. She is rewarded for her leap of understanding with the rapture of a demanding, gentle kiss and a smirk of victory from her favorite mentor.

"I will bring him home, sweetheart. If there is any possible way to save him, I will find it," Haymitch whispers to her as he holds her like breathing is only an option.

"I brought you a surprise." Katniss disentangles herself from him and goes to her bag. With a huge grin, she sets two bottles of Rippers white spirit on the counter and waits for him to react.

His eyes widen, and he puts his hand over his heart and makes it thump. "You are trying to seduce me, you little vixen."

"Did it work?"

"Yes. Have your way with me. Forego the spoons this time," he says licking his lips and breaking the seal.

She watches him sip it then sigh in pleasure after a larger swallow. "I have to admit, I doubt you would have that big of a happy face even if I was naked right now, instead of just revealing my jugs."

He studies her for a second, "Don't bet on that one. You might be surprised at the odds."

She laughs and says, "Are you saying they might be in my favor?"

"They always have been, sweetheart. Cinna isn't the only one who bet on you."

Her eyes tear up at the thought of her beautiful Cinna. Peeta and Cinna were so painfully heavy on her heart. She turns away and uses the inside of her shirt to dab the tears before they turn into a flood. "I am going to make Snow pay for killing him. I thought I was going to die, and he knew all along it was him who had no time."

"Don't count him out just yet. If Huckleberry Finn could make it down the great river, I want to believe he can too. You realize that water goes somewhere don't you? There is an end to that river and his mother's people call it by some strange name. They exist outside of Panem, if they do exist. He always told me they did. I imagine it is only wishful thinking, but until it is proven he is dead, I will keep hope. "

She looks at him as if he is trying to fool her. "Finnick's first name is Huckleberry?"

"No, not that Finn. This was a character from a story, written for the old, old world, before the games. He floats down the river with a boy named Tom. Huck fakes his own death to escape his father's house. He makes it home and then as it ends, he's headed off to the wild territories. Maybe Cinna will come home to you. Or maybe he has made it to the wild territories with the funny name."

"Is that place with the funny name called Eldorado?" Katniss asks.

"That sounds like it. He had some little poem about it." Haymitch squints and tries to remember it.

"Pass the mountains of the moon, seek the valley of shadow. Three days they say we float a way, to find our Eldorado. Make a tear for the toothy and pass him on the morrow, the witches veil shall guide you far beyond the land of sorrow. When all is lost and life's no more, you shall land upon the far-flung shore of charming Eldorado."

Haymitch grins and nods. "That is the one! It is a map you know? He says it takes him home."

"A map?" she asks, "Do you know how to follow it?"

"Oh, I haven't a clue. I just remembered the distant charming shore part. It is complete nonsense to me."

She repeats it again, eyes far away, allowing a small myth to awaken in her heart, pulling her into a dream of gold-rimmed green eyes.

_**To learn how to find, one must first learn how to hide. -Fahrenheit 451**_

President Coin has a fit about the cat. Life is not hard in District 13, but it is difficult. They decide that if she will willingly don the Mockingjay costume, rather than ramble about like a ragamuffin refugee, that the cat may stay.

She is lead deep within the lower sections of the District 13 labyrinth. It is hot down here. She waits for Heavensbee to unlock the door but is annoyed at the way the guard has treated her. There were other guards posted down the hall. It seemed like awfully high security for storage. A whimper, soft and nearly unheard is reflected in the strange echoes of the acoustics of this place.

Eyes wide, Katniss looks at Haymitch and he heard it too. Gale is noticing too, but says nothing. Katniss hears it again and takes a step toward the sound. "Haymitch, that is somebody I know." She steps forward and the guard crosshairs her at point blank range.

"Stand down. Are you insane, soldier?" Haymitch steps between her and the weapon.

Gale darts left then to his side and whips the gun out of the hands of the guard. This does not serve them well, beings it only draws the attention of more guards. They rush toward them, all black deadly eyes of steel, now alive and aimed at heads, with hard eyes of men behind them who will not flinch at a kill.

Everyone stares at each other for an enormous bloated second, then as Haymitch shouts, "I said Stand-" A single report shatters the echo, cutting off his words. Katniss screams at the red stain spreading on Haymitch's chest as he lurches backward and curses, "Shit."

Katniss moves forward and all the metal tubes silently follow as she eases Haymitch to the ground. He leans against the wall and she scrunches into him holding him and trying to stop the blood but a hole in the back is leaking too and has left a streak of crimson down the pristine walls.

"You better hope…" she looks up snarling, smiling and shaking her head with threats she doesn't need to finish and scowling at the guard who just shot Haymitch. Her eyes lock on the shooter and he swallows at the death he sees in the young girl's eyes. Heavensbee steps forward, hands in sight, as he types in his communicuff and speaks directly to Coin. Gale keeps his weapon on the shooter, unwilling to put down his only defense of Katniss.

There is some argument and the word Mockingjay is tossed around and then it is over, yet it isn't. The final fact that the guns are not in her face now, mean nothing to Katniss.

"Katniss? Are you ok?" A tiny vice calls to them from behind one of the large metal doors.

Haymitch, breathing heavy and sweating, whispers, "Octavia?" Katniss wants to investigate but she can't leave him. She smells his blood and all she knows is so long as she keeps her eyes on his, he won't leave her. He wouldn't have the balls to leave her to her face. If she looks away, he might sneak away, but he won't leave her in this stupid useless way.

"Don't be afraid, sweetheart." He coughs, bringing blood to his lips.

"I am not afraid. I am pissed," she says. She leans in and whispers in his ear.

He laughs, wheezy and weak. Haymitch closes his eyes. Katniss presses her lips to his, tasting his blood and begging him to not leave her in an insignificant voice, not caring if he does know she is afraid. She is afraid. She is bleeding sanity.

_**"We cannot tell the precise moment when friendship is formed. As in filling a vessel drop by drop, there is at last a drop which makes it run over; so in a series of kindnesses there is at last one which makes the heart run over." **_

— _**Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

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><p>Oh how I love a bleeding Haymitch - should I bribe you with his life? Clap –(no, I mean review) – if you believe in Haymitchs…..only You can save him. Otherwise it is 3rd star to the right and straight on til morning. Haymitch is 40 - that is a nice number. We are at 33 now - if we cross 40 - Haymitch will know you love him…and he might kiss you.<p>

Also vote – what did she whisper that made him laugh? Make me laugh and I will use your line –Giving You full credit! (Leave it in your review comments or you may Pm me – but don't forget to review)


	9. Chapter 9

**Pleasure to burn - chapter nine**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn  
><strong>Summary<strong>: _Haymitch is bleeding life. Katniss is bleeding sanity. Can she survive without her beloved Haymitch? Who else is held in the bowels of hell in Deep13. _  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Katniss, Haymitch, Gale, Prim, Mrs. Everdeen, Finnick

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author notes**: See Haymitch, lots of people care if you live or die.

Haymitch kisses go to -carolinaphoenix~~~BlueDot77~~~AlenaAbernathy~~~Estrunk~~~WisdomIsAll~~~ xxEverybodyLovesVasixx~~~Anon reviewer~~FOR saving Haymitch by the skin of his ears-&

Ashlynn Martin for the doctor gobbledygook – she is a Junior in high school but put that together for me so I hope it sounds correct – future Doc to the rescue of the poor writerly mommy person.

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><p><em><strong>Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die, and when people look at that tree or that flower you planted, you're there. <strong>_

_**It doesn't matter what you do, he said, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away. The difference between the man who just cuts lawns and a real gardener is in the touching, he said. The lawn-cutter might just as well not have been there at all; the gardener will be there a lifetime." — Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

The pain is so horrible I fight not to wet my pants and much worse. She is here, so I can't bellow of my agony. I look down and my head feels like I am on a bender. My vision blurs and she screams. I need to sit down and somehow I do, her little face is so filled with terror, I don't dare say what I want to tell her. She knows I love her and if I say it now, she will fall apart, knowing that I am dying.

I finally place the voice I hear. What the hell is Octavia doing here? My mind must be playing tricks.

"Don't be afraid, sweetheart." I manage. My heart is drumming faster and faster, stealing my seconds as it tries to make up for the fact that my blood volume is dropping too fast to allow my mind to function for many more moments. I stare into her beautiful gray eyes, glad to be the one bleeding out on the floor of Deep13 rather than it have been her. The piss ant didn't mean for his weapon to fire. I scared him. The shock on his face was probably as great as my own. My mother always said my temper would be the death of me.

"I am not afraid. I am pissed." She tells me. That's my girl. She is trying to hold my injury, keep the blood in me, but I know she can't.

The hole in the front is little; I know it is bigger where she can't see it. She leans toward me and as she does I catch Gale's eye and mouth silently, "Take care of her."

His face is calm and his eyes hard as he gives me the nod I seek. Finnick is insane; it will have to be Gale now that I am abandoning her. She smells so good. I never noticed how fresh the plain soap here smells, and it is all over her, mixed with blood, gun powder and tears. Every sensation is as white hot as the pain. I want the end to hurry, before I embarrass myself, yet each perception other than the pain is so delicious. Her hair is silk on my cheek.

She whispers to me, "There is no rule against it now. They won't chop off your bits if you seduce me. I am bribing you to stay." Her eyes are both playful and pleading.

I can't help but laugh. How could I turn down such an offer? I choke a little and wish for a last drink. I feel her lips on mine, dry little petals. I hear her begging me to stay with her, even as she kisses me. I will have to come up with something horrid to say, but for now, I can't think of anything but how sweet she tastes and the nap I am going to need. I thank the tommyknockers in this mine, that it wasn't her. I hear them tapping away. Just have to rest my eyes for a moment.

_**-fire plus water, and then, one day, after everything had mixed and simmered and worked away in silence, there would be neither fire nor water, but wine. Out of two separate and opposite things, a third. And one day he would look back upon the fool and know the fool." **_

— _**Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

I watch Catnip trembling as his eyes close. Her face crumbles in her chant of denial. She can't see what I can. There is so much blood. It has to be close to his heart. The hallway has erupted in chaos and the DEMPs (district emergency medic practitioners) battle to get the stretcher to him. Coin arrives and I finally drag Katniss away from her fight to protect Haymitch, so the DEMPs can try to keep him alive. "Catnip, he's not gone yet. Let them help him. Let them try. "

I can't say I like him very much, but I beg the universe for his life, for her sanity. She is shattering before my eyes. "He can't die. No. no no. Oh god, why. Just for the stupid costume. Why does it have to be for that. Gale? Say he won't leave me. Say he's ok."

"I don't know Katniss, but you said he's indestructible—"

"I wished him dead. He rescued me and I wished him dead for leaving Peeta. It's my fault. Please no," she is mumbling into my chest. I hold her and try to sooth her. She squirms to see him then hides her face again. She peeks again then hides, a tiny broken squeal in my shoulder. I watch them insert a bellows bandage into the wound and inflate it to stem the flow of blood until they can get him into surgery. She looks at me and her whole face has changed. She is furious.

She wipes her eyes and turns. She hisses orders. "Open this door. Now." She demands to the general audience, who seem to be having a contest of who to blame for what has occurred. "Open this door or shoot me too, you pompous murdering bastards." She kicks the door. A guard steps forward, terrified of her, and unlocks the door. She glares down the hall at the shooter, now being grilled by his squad leader, and looking equally as pale as the near corpse of Haymitch that is being carried carefully down the hall.

Katniss really couldn't get much madder, but that was before she found her stylists chained naked in their own filth. Her sanity, left with the same pleasant sensation of the odor coming from the horrid room. "Call more medics and open every damned door. This will not happen if you want me here. You are worse than the freaking capitol if you think this is ok!" There is my Katniss. I am very glad I have not returned the weapon in my hand to its owner. I may need it again before she tumbles from this fear fouled adrenaline blast.

_**"She didn't want to know how a thing was done, but why... Luckily, queer ones like her don't happen often." — Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

"You have no authority to release these prisoners!" Coin complains. "They have stolen and this is how it works here."

"What did they possibly steal that could warrant this?"

"These capitol people must learn our ways. They stole food from the cafeteria and some went into unauthorized areas helping themselves to paper and other items. You have no authority in this matter, Mockingjay." Coin explains firmly but not without willingness to overlook the girls anger considering the circumstances.

"No, I don't. But what kind of message do you want me to broadcast here? That the new President who I am standing behind, no, who is standing behind my face and my word, is as bad as Snow? Stealing a slice of bread deserves to be, covered in feces and chained? No. If this is what you stand for, then we part ways now." Katniss says loud and without any regard for the fact it is her and I against fifty of them.

"They broke the rules. Every one of them broke the rules." President Coin explains as if to a child.

"Me too. I broke a lot of rules or I wouldn't be here. If we are that hard up for food here, Gale and I will hunt every day. Hell, give them mine. I've been hungry before and I would rather be again then see this kind of shit over a slice of bread. Fine them their reflection time. Make them work an extra hour. Hell, spank them. But this is so far out of line it isn't on the map of decency. You know it. I know it. Everybody knows it. So Fix it or we bail." Katniss says.

"And where do you think you would go. You leave 800 people here so you can have a little fit?"

"Not leaving them. We will take our hovers to Eldorado and base there instead." Katniss glares at her steady and sure. I have no idea what she is talking about but I don't show it. I nod like it is a perfectly good plan.

"There is no such place. It is a myth." Coin crosses her arms and laughs as if Katniss has made a joke.

"Gaily bedight,

A gallant knight,

In sunshine and in shadow,

Had journeyed long,

Singing a song,

In search of Eldorado. " Katniss recites as if she is not talking nonsense as she waves her arm with dramatic show.

"Is that supposed to mean something?" Coin says with hard ugly mirth.

"You know, you have one of the best libraries in all of Panem right here in good old District 13. You ought to stop in there some time. Pass the time filling your mind instead of emptying it. Funny thing about myths. They are only Myth to those who have no map. My gallant knight left me one, and if I need it, maybe Eldorado is there. My eyes are open. Your costume wasn't a good trade for my Mentor. Better hope he lives. Without him, I am not very cooperative. He was punished for following your orders. How did that happen? How did this happen? " Katniss smiles and winks at Coin who blanches.

"It was a mistake of communication. And if you are so concerned for him, then I suggest you get up level and out of Deep 13. You and your rabble. Keep your friends under control." Coin says weary of this conversation.

"I will see what I can do." Katniss replies.

Katniss takes about three steps when Coin turns again and says, "Funny thing about Mockingjays. Fickle birds really. They can change their tune very quickly. Perhaps a discourse on the lineage of the child you carry would seal your cooperation better than my good will has?"

"If you want to play with shadows, Ride Boldly Ride. If you want what you want, you better keep your games for the enemy." Katniss lifts her chin and studies Coin for a minute. "Come on Gale. We need to be up there in case Haymitch sticks around. "

_**"There was always a minority afraid of something, and a great majority afraid of the dark, afraid of the future, afraid of the past, afraid of the present, afraid of themselves and shadows of themselves" — Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

I follow. Taking the weapon with me, I look at President Coin and see the smoldering anger. In the elevator with ten blanket-wrapped reeking people, one catches my eye. His eyes are blue like all the Mellarks. His head has been shaved and he looks half-starved but I am almost sure I know him. "Pumpernickel Mellark? Nick,I thought you died!"

"I Kind of did, I guess. Hawthorne is that you? Where in the hell are we, and why did they do this?" He looks so full of misery; even talking to someone from home seems to be difficult.

Once they were clean and had some food and bandages, there were other people Katniss and Gale knew. All had no idea why they were being punished. Nick Mellark had no idea that his capture was not part of the capitol's plan to kill everyone in District 12. He had no idea his brother had been captured from the games, beings the last thing he saw was the explosion and then the fiery bombs that had attacked his home. Gale explained the situation to him as best he could though he had no explanation for why some people had been treated so badly in District 13. They had welcomed them with open arms and yet under that open kindness, there was now something seedy and poison.

Katniss sits with Prim while Gale and her mother see to the injuries and needs of the Deep 13 captives. She lets Prim update her on the people she has rescued, as she stares at the wall, waiting to find out that Haymitch has died. She isn't sure she can stand the world without him. She isn't smart enough to not get herself killed without his help. He is the one who keeps her from messing up everyone's life with her ability to do all things wrong.

A woman addresses the nearly empty hallway waiting area. "The family of Mr. Abernathy?"

Katniss stands, eyes pleading and voice just above a croak, "Me. That's me. I'm his family." Katniss has never thought this before, but the truth of it makes her smile a little. "Is he alive? Please, just tell me."

"The doctor will be here to speak with you in a moment. This way please," she says without an answer.

She shows them to a private room and when the door closes, Katniss loses it. She sobs soundlessly except for a wet hissing sound. "He's dead, Prim."

"Katniss, no. Don't say that." Prim holds Katniss, confused.

"Private room. Doctor has to come speak to us? That can't be a good sign. I can't survive long without him. I will have my ass in a sling within a week. You don't understand."

Prim sighs, "Oh, no this is how they do things here. They always speak in private to family after major surgery. Don't give up on him?" The door opens and the woman who enters looks confused, then she quietly sits next to Katniss and takes her hand.

"Is there bad news?" Mrs. Everdeen asks.

"Not yet, but she thought the way they do things here meant…"Prim doesn't finish.

"Oh. Katniss? I already am pretty sure he's fine, baby. I came in here thinking something had changed. He made it through the first half of surgery. Katniss, honey. Look at me." Mrs. Everdeen looks down at her daughter as Katniss tries to get herself under control.

"He's Ok?" she snuffles, wiping her eyes.

Something dark and angry crosses her face as she says, "Yes, Katniss. He was alive past the most critical procedures. I am certain he made it past the more minor ones. You and I need to have a talk, after the doctor has his say, young lady. I fear the two of you have become close in an inappropriate way."

Katniss throws back her head and laughs at this. "Oh Mother. That is so far from appropriate for you to bring up at this moment. You have no idea."

"You are obviously thinking you are in love with him." She replies sternly. "I see the way you look at each other. He is my age Katniss and no matter how good he has been to you, you are not to make any move toward a future with that man."

"Are you kidding? I am not in love with him or anyone else. I love a lot of people and all of them are in danger right now, if they aren't dead already. Future? He is my only future and not in that way. He is the one who has kept me alive all this time. Not just in the games. Kept you alive as well, and Prim and Gale. Even today. He's in there bleeding for me. In my place. Every game Snow has played; Haymitch has been keeping us from falling into the traps of the capitol. He is Peeta's only chance too. If I lose Haymitch, Peeta is as good as gone." Katniss tells her slowly, trying to keep her temper down.

"Never the less, Katniss, you are a young lady who will seek a husband one day and none will have someone who…."her mother sighed.

"Don't bother with the milk goat lecture, it doesn't count for victors. Anything in the world between he and I will never be inappropriate. And you don't have to ever worry about me having a husband to catch. I would be lucky if he were on the list next to the other prior offers. If he told me I have to marry him, I would. If he asked me to turn myself into the capitol for televised torture and execution, I would do it for him. " Katniss stands and wants to pace but the room is too small.

"Katniss I do realize he has great influence with you but I can't imagine you feel the need to be his…" Mrs. Everdeen trails off.

The doctor enters, and everyone is quiet immediately. "Well, I must say your father and husband is a very…Mrs. Everdeen? I am sorry, I am looking for family…Abernathy."

"That's me," Katniss says.

"Oh, very well then. When you deal with high velocity penetrating wounds. The first level of trauma is the actual tearing of tissue the projectile creates. The second is the stretching and damage from the impact. Mr. Abernathy sustained a significant thoracic wound. The projectile passed through him in a relatively straight trajectory, causing hemothorax, pneumothorax and we had to perform emergency thoracotomy for rapid descending aortic cross-clamping and manual control of bleeding. All appears successful at this time, however any time you have a high velocity projectile rip through your body, it drags bits of matter along with it. Clothing, lint and all manner of foreign material is obviously not sterile. We have stopped his bleeding, inserted a chest tube and now we wait to see if endovascular grafts will be required and hope- "

Katniss stood there with a blank face. "So, is he dead?" Katniss simply could not focused on a word the man said and all she wanted was simple words that Haymitch was still breathing and had a pretty good chance of continuing to pursue that hobby. The doctor looked at Katniss, mouth open and head tilted in confusion.

"Katniss, he's got a really bad booboo and they may have to go back in and fix it more. He's going to be fine provided they keep infection under control," Prim says, with an amused wink at the doctor.

Katniss lets her breath out and bends over. "Then why not say that, instead of telling me gobbledygook that sounds like a build up to dead?" She inhales and exhales several times again. "Can I see him?"

The doctor smiles, his eyes are kind and he says gently, "He will be awake in a few hours, but you may sit with him if you wish. Are you his daughter?"

"No, not exactly. More like his personal reason to get shot for fun and his inspiration to drink," she says candidly, glaring at her mother.

"Then, I really should speak with an actual relative. There may be decisions ahead that will need the approval of a family member." The doctor explains.

"I'm all he's got. Everyone else is gone. Except for Finnick Odair. Haymitch only has us now. He's lost everyone else who ever loved him." Katniss clarifies, the information dawning on her for the first time, now that she has said it. No matter how bad life and loss had been for her, Haymitch really is hers in some way undefined by the words of the world. She wasn't a lover, though the thought of it was within the boundaries of possible. She wasn't in love with him and yet she knew she loved him as much and as deeply as she loves Prim. He is more than teacher and protector to her, he is her lifeline, yet he is not tied to her in any traditional way.

"Well, then we will list you as next of kin. It happens in these terrible days. We must adapt to new family bindings when old ones are shattered. I will see you on my rounds in a few hours and if you have thought of any questions by that time, I will be happy to answer them for you." He gathers his papers and rises to leave and smiles. "The presence of you interpreter is welcomed."

"Doctor? I don't have any idea what you did, but whatever it was... Thank you, more than I can explain," Katniss mumbles looking at the floor.

"My job has many rewards. Here is his room number, Mrs. Everdeen or Miss Prim can show you the way. Oh and Miss Prim, I expect you to be on time for class tomorrow. You are excused for your absence today."

"Yes sir. I got my assignment already." Prim smiles as she speaks to him respectfully.

"See that it is complete. Doctors do not allow personal trauma to interfere with the performance of their duties. You may as well learn that right away." He admonished.

"Of course, Doctor." She stands at his exit.

"What is he talking about?" Katniss asks.

"Prim is in her first year of doctoral studies Katniss. She tested far higher than I did," Mrs. Everdeen says with pride.

Katniss beams at her sister. "Oh Prim! That is so wonderful. Why didn't you tell me? That is just the best news I ever got." Katniss hugs Prim and kisses both of her soft chubby cheeks. "Doctor Prim? Oh sweet pea, I am thrilled."

"You were busy saving the world Katniss. It's no big deal. If I make it, you can be happy. I am just first year, and the youngest, so I could wash out or not be ready. I don't want to disappoint anybody." Prim says bashfully.

"You will do fine. It is a big deal, even if you wash out the first time, you will have plenty of time to try again." Her mother stands and pats her back.

"You will make it. I am betting on you, Prim." Katniss has a starry look in her eyes as she says the words she had been given by the father of the child she would soon have to explain to her mother and sister.

Prim giggles and hugs Katniss again. "This place is like a dream come true isn't it?"

"In some ways, I guess so. We may have to fight a few nightmares, but you let me worry about those. Any dream that makes you happy is worth anything it takes to make it happen." Katniss stuffs her hand down the back of Prims pants, tucking her shirt in like she always did.

Haymitch looks like he aged twenty years since the shooting. Katniss lifts his hand and is shocked by how cold it is. She presses it to her cheek automatically, instinctively warming the familiar fingers and kissing the back of his hand. She could never act like this to his face, but alone, with him so very weak and vulnerable, she is the protector now.

He had stepped in front of her, or the bullet would have hit her instead. Not a moment's pause to decide to die for her, Haymitch had an automatic will to accept that his life was less valuable to him than hers. Gale had disarmed the first guard in the same type of move. Haymitch was just like Peeta, Gale and even Finnick. She didn't deserve them anymore than she deserved Cinna, but she would do all she could to be worthy of whatever they saw in her. Mockingjay or martyr, she belonged to each of them now and for all time.

She had no ability to explain that to her mother, but she knew the truth of it and didn't care what anyone else felt about her many true loves. They were each perfect and beyond the sappy designs of marriage and physical affection. Maybe she was ruined in the eyes of average husband prospects and mothers, but responding to them physically was not about right or wrong in the eyes of others. That need was just the result of something so deep and so encompassing that until she had these hours to watch him in the soft music of the life monitors, even Katniss had not understood.

The intubation makes him look even weaker. He's going to hate that. He's going to be the most horrible patient in the entire world. She can't wait to hear him yell at her again. She can't wait to call him some horrible, well deserved name and see his eyes light up behind his façade of hatred. "Thanks for sticking around, sweetheart," she whispers to him. He would make fun of her tears, so she lets them fall now while he can't see. There are no sobs or antics, just dripping silent eyes of thanks, to whatever force handed her Haymitch in the first place, then allowed her to keep him for a while longer.

_**"You're peculiar, you're aggravating, yet you're easy to forgive. You say you're seventeen?..How odd. How strange. And my wife thirty and yet you seem so much older at times. I can't get over it." **_

— _**Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

Somehow they are sitting at his table in District 12, drinking and bickering. The house smells of old booze and older socks. The sun peeped around the edges of the heavy curtains, unwelcome in this place of dark painful lives and people who found comfort in gloom. He is watching her attentively, bottle pauses a kiss away from his lips and waiting for her to return his cruel verbal love bite.

"Please don't leave me, Haymitch," she says, to both of their shock.

"I can always count on you to mess up my plans." He answers though his lips don't move. "And by the way, Cinna is still over there, because I have looked all over hell and half of Deep 13 and he isn't on this side, sweetheart." The bottle, now at his lips, bubbles and bubbles as he guzzles it down in one shot.

She jerks awake at the soft touch of Prim. The day lights are on and it must be morning. "Katniss, he's awake," she murmurs softly.

Katniss stands over him, seeing his eyes are afraid and desperate. "Haymitch, I know it's scary, but just relax. They have to keep your airway open, so that tube keeps it from swelling shut. You are going to be fine. I told them you were too mean and bitchy to die, so they let me do the operating on you just for the practice. I only made a couple mistakes and …"

"Katniss, you're going to frighten him to death! Poor Haymitch," Prim says with sweet sympathy.

His eyes smiled at Katniss. She returned his smile with her whole face and heart. "I love you too, Haymitch." She kisses his forehead and feels him squeeze her hand.

When they finally take the tube out, later in the morning, he looks a little better. His first words were, "I suppose you took advantage of my unconscious condition in your usual fashion?"

She grins and says, "Don't flatter yourself Haymitch, it's a catheter."

"That's a relief. I was afraid you bit me," he says tiredly. "I guess my escape has failed?"

She means to say something terrible back, but the lump in her throat won't allow it. Katniss nods and looks away so he can't see the way her eyes glisten. She busies herself by dumping his water glass and pouring fresh tepid water into the little Sippy-cup.

His creaky voice fills with sarcasm, "Of course, I only returned to take you up on your intriguing little offer. The one you made when you thought I was seconds from dying? Is it still a valid proposition?"

"Here, suck on this." She holds the mouth of the cup to his lips.

He obliges and makes a face. "Disgusting. What is that?"

"Your new favorite liquid refreshment, if you have any hope of making me keep my word," she says in a ridiculously seductive capitol voice. He smiles and sleeps again.

The doctor returns and stands there at the end of his bed with his chart, observing Haymitch for a few moments, "His pressure is way up. When did he have his last drink?"

Katniss sighs and looks guilty, "Probably ten minute before he was shot?"

"Wonderful. He is more likely to lose his battle, if we don't get him into withdrawal protocol. I need you to sign for him." he says with disgust.

"Can't we just give him a drink?" Katniss asks. She takes the chart and signs where he indicated.

"This is not a joke. He can bleed more easily, have seizures, infection is more likely and he has an open wound, which he could damage by thrashing around, gastrointestinal bleeding will be likely and have you ever witnessed delirium tremens or hallucinations related to chronic abuse followed by sudden withdrawal?" He asks with a superior air.

"Yes, just before the Quell, Peeta poured out all our liquor and made us train for the games. "

" I see. Well for my peace of mind I am ordering the protocol anyway. 13 is dry, who knows what he's been drinking. If you are aware of his source, I suggest you remove it for the period of his recovery. And don't you bring him a drop, Mockingjay, or I will ban you from his presence. Do we understand each other?" The doctor dips his head and squints at her.

"Yes sir. I understand," Katniss says; face burning bright pink in the hospital day lights.

_**"Mistakes can be profited by Man, when i was young I showed my ignorance in people's faces. They beat me with sticks. By the time I was forty my blunt instrument had been honed to a fine cutting point for me. If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you'll never learn." — Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

By day two Haymitch is belligerent and demanding a drink. He is demanding Katniss bring him a drink and when she refuses his hatred for her bubbles like lava. She accepts his abuse, though it hurts her, because she knows he would do the same for her. He finally brings her to tears after their fourth round of the day and she slips out of the room only to be met by the hard angry eyes of her mother.

"Please Mother, I don't need this right now. It isn't his fault." Katniss hurries to turn away but bumps into Finnick Odair in a hospital gown evidently meant for decorative purposes only.

"Hey Baby-girl?" he bends to her and kisses her passionately as if this is the most normal thing in the world to show his cute behind while accosting young girls in the hallway. Her mother's harrumph noise is ignored. Katniss even gives a pathetic little moan just for the benefit of the spectators. Her mother stomps off before they finish.

Katniss closes her eyes and buries her face in his neck. "Thanks, I needed that. If you came to see him, it may not be the best time."

"Yeah, the old man always gets pretty radical when he's in the repair shop," Finn says in commiseration. "You look like you could use some sleep. You let me deal with him for a bit. I know a few tricks." He smiles mysteriously.

"I wish you'd teach them to me," Katniss says, thinking a nap sounds nice.

"No can do. Trade secrets and planning on using them on you." He flashes his perfect smile, looking just a little like a shark.

She glances around the room, every activity has stopped and the hospital personnel look like they are a doll factory full of wide-eyed watchers. "Did you want me to kiss him again? Finn and I hate to lose our ability to entertain everyone by just talking and boring you."

Finn smiles his insane boy grin. "We dance pretty too?"

They all look away suddenly busy and going out of their way to ignore the way Finnick Odair seems to have something going on with the Mockingjay. They say all the victors are crazy. They boldly have no morals of any kind, canoodling on each other in public.

"I am taking you up on the nap offer. Sorry I haven't been to see you," Katniss says unable to stop grinning.

He pulls her to him, nuzzling her with blatant familiarity. "Before you do, I have a heads up for you. You started quite the shit storm with your little stunt down in Deep 13. Be careful, baby-girl. Your little buddy Gale Hawthorne came to tell me about Haymitch. He has a very interesting list of rescued people. Effie Trinket is among them. You ought to visit her if possible; she's not doing so well. She is staying with your stylists. But, just to add some spice to your indigestion, Gale has been arrested. He is in solitary confinement, "Finnick whispers with his face buried in her hair, looking like he is in full seduction mode to all the people pretending not to watch.

Katniss sighs. She pulls away and nods. "Perfect. My life is a never-ending shipment of perfect."

"I aim to please." He says with a little bow. He pushes the door to Haymitch's room open and glances back to catch her peeking at his naked butt. Finn winks at her and loudly whispers, "Pervert!"

If blushing were a career, Katniss would have been very successful in her natural talent for it.

_**"I'm seventeen and I'm crazy. My uncle says the two always go together. When people ask your age, he said, always say seventeen and insane." **_

— _**Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

* * *

><p><em><strong>About Tommyknockers- that Haymitch could hear after being shot.<strong>_

_My uncle told me stories of Tommyknockers (pronounced nackers) They are the little gnomes who lived in mines and if you gave them a share of your meal, they would protect you, but woe to the poor man who didn't believe for the tommyknockers would bring down the world upon you, as they tap tap tapped the song of death. _

_(If food fell on the floor, the tommyknockers got it, you left it lay and if it was not gone by the morrow, then it could be disposed of without the wrath of the charming fellows. I think it was eaten by raccoons but don't tell my uncle)_

_The name has nothing to do with Mr. King's novel but comes from the knocking on the mine walls that often happens just before cave-ins. The sounds are really caused by the creaking of earth and timbers. Some thought these sounds were malevolent, but others saw them as well-meaning, warning the miners that a life-threatening collapse was imminent. My uncle loved them so much he took it as his CB handle._

_To EStrunk – I was going to use your line about no infection because of there being too much alcohol in his system -uhem I was corrected - having alcohol in your system prior to trauma actually leads to a higher chance of infection - hmmmmmpf – learn something new every day. Thank you lil Doc – nother reason to not drink and drive or get in gun fights._

_Oh and for anyone who has not picked up the reference to Eldorado - it is a poem by Edgar Allen Poe - and used in one of my favorite John Wayne movies by the same name._

_Eldorado_

_Gaily bedight,  
>A gallant knight,<br>In sunshine and in shadow,  
>Had journeyed long,<br>Singing a song,  
>In search of Eldorado.<em>

But he grew old-  
>This knight so bold-<br>And o'er his heart a shadow  
>Fell as he found<br>No spot of ground  
>That looked like Eldorado.<p>

And, as his strength  
>Failed him at length,<br>He met a pilgrim shadow-  
>"Shadow," said he,<br>"Where can it be-  
>This land of Eldorado?"<p>

"Over the Mountains  
>Of the Moon,<br>Down the Valley of the Shadow,  
>Ride, boldly ride,"<br>The shade replied-  
>"If you seek for Eldorado!"<p>

_The mountians of the moon may be read as getting past the greatest of lifes mountians - grief_

_Down the valley of the shadow - even as you face your own death_

_Ride boldly ride - greet even death as an adventure and meet it head on rather than meekly submiting to it._

_The shade is another name for death or a reaper_

_If you seek - the golden - to find your happy place .  
><em>

_Hope you all liked the chapter – I won't be around for a few days –Please review anyway._


	10. Chapter 10

**Pleasure to burn - chapter ten**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn:10  
><strong>Summary<strong>: _A peek at Cinna's true fate, and his blustery past with Haymitch._  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Haymitch, Cinna

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author notes**: Everyone keeps asking about Cinna – Yes he is alive. Now before you get mad at me for this chapter – please realize that my Cinna Snow was raised by a monster. By the time we met him in the books he was all reserved and mysterious, but we never got any explanation. This is my version of backstory and a moment in time in which his darkness began its journey back to the light. There are many journeys in this chapter, some symbolic, others easy to see on the surface. This chapter goes to Ellenka – a curious soul full of light –and the one who got it cooking in my mind clearly when she asked for this back story over on dance cards – yeah too long for there!

* * *

><p><em><strong>"I feel alive for the first time in years. I feel I'm doing what I should've done a lifetime ago. For a little while I'm not afraid. Maybe it's because I'm doing the right thing at last. Maybe it's because I've done a rash thing and don't want to look the coward to you. I suppose I'll have to do even more violent things, exposing myself so I won't fall down on the job and turn scared again" <strong>_

— _**Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

Cinna hated to die in front of her. Death should be private and not done before those you love, unless in old age. He had prepared for this fate in his mind, but it did not prepare her to watch it happen. Still, he was resolved to boldly seek the inevitable. Life does not flash before his eyes as he dips his head to the hidden pill on his shoulder. He had five of them on his person but he only needed to reach one to do the job he had in mind. His past doesn't give him any instant replay, instead never-to-be moments of the lost future flitter into his head as clear as any memory.

He held the capsule in his mouth through all the blows to his face. He keeps his eyes steady for her as long as he can. He hopes they will stop and drag him off to be tortured, but as he realized they didn't care for his torture so much as hers, he knew he needed to end this before he lost consciousness and missed his opportunity to leave the world without feeding his father any rebel secrets. As he fell to the floor and the boots began to do their damage, he let his teeth slowly pierce the nightlock capsule tasting the bitter-sweet flavor and feeling the numbness spread. He knew the darkness falling was a blessing rather than the end of his dreams.

His last vision is of the blood smears on the launch tube and a blurry shadow of Katniss, frantic in her desire to save him. He smiles at her a little and mouthed, "Farewell for now my love on fire. No tears, hold your head…."

It is almost painless. But, it is so far from pain free.

His awareness returns and he assumes he is in some red and white afterlife of agony. He is no longer wearing any restraints and beings it hurt to breathe, he knows he is still requiring air. He slowly moves, careful to not alert any guards of his movement. They had not searched him. He had his jammer still. He had queued it into the signal in this building as he'd showered with Katniss earlier so it was only a matter of switching it on.

He pulled the sheet slowly off his face and discovers he is unattended. He still felt the effects of the nightlock on his system, but the only explanation for his survival was his father. For years he'd been subjected to his father's concoctions. He'd been required to partake in his poison protection regime from his early childhood. It was the only explanation for his survival of the deadly capsule. It was interesting that by his father's torture, he was immune even to the quick death he'd hoped for.

He knew that should the circumstance ever again require this move, he would have to ingest a dose five or six times that needed to stop the heart of a normal man. He should have taken his system into account, but it had not crossed is mind that the elements of nightlock might be related to the substances he'd built immunity to long ago.

The hallway was one long curved gallery with twenty-four launch pod rooms on the inside curve and various rooms to be determined later once the building was open to the public on the outer curve. He is surprised that he has not been apprehended in any way. He is just able to limp along. He didn't realize he'd crumpled to the floor. He is in plain view face down in the long hallway.

He stood in pain, trying to decide what his next move should be as he heard a massive explosion and the power flickers. He hobbled to his left, down the hallway, leaving a trail of blood in his wake. He heard more explosions and knew it was the arena. All must be lost. The lights go out leaving him in almost pure blackness. The power of the concussion knocks him off his feet and he crawls down the hall, unable to get his feet under him again between the pain and grief surging within. He knew he could be listening to the last moments of the lives of his child and his precious Katniss. This is not in the plans. The barrier must have been more powerful or more heavily protected than Beetee suspected.

The exit is well marked in back up powered red; these arenas' are built to government standards for the years they would later serve as tourist centers. He opened the door to the brilliant flashing night. He pulled himself onto the sidewalk and began to tumble and trip toward the river.

The air is hot, but the water seems chilled. It soothes his injuries. Cinna was taught to swim in the waters with the big toothy. His mother's people lived on what the rivers and swamps provided. Alligator is delicious and he hopes to once again taste a toothy pie, made of smoked gator meat , red pepper and garlic. He'd thought of his mother as he'd bitten the capsule. He had not seen her since he was seven years old.

She had fled with him when he was just two. She had made the journey from the capitol all the way to the bayou with him. He remembered it as Eldorado. They would never have returned if not for the price his father had put on their heads. He had been happy those years, in the clean swamps wild and free. Bountyriders had come. Capitol scum had been there many times and they were very good alligator food, but a feud had cost his mother her life and his. There was a man who she had cared for. His people betrayed her for the ransom.

This river flowed straight to the land of his mother. The world of his past would come to him now. Alive or dead he would be taken home to Eldorado. He had only gone a short way when a witch's knot of debris bumped into him. He latches onto it and drags himself up on the floating mass of twisted trunks, limbs and tangled flood litter.

Cinna smiled as the hovercraft growled past him later that night. He didn't know what side it belonged to, but there were certainly no survivors of the 75th hunger games, so it didn't matter. He was not going back. He was going home. He would return and avenge his mother if any of the kin still lived. He wondered if any of them had escaped. His father had exacted a rather terrible revenge on the ones he could get his hands on, but attacking a swamp rat in his home was like tracking ghosts in fog.

_**"He stood breathing, and the more he breathed the land in, the more he was filled up with all the details of the land. He was not empty. There was more than enough here to fill him. There would always be more than enough." **_

— _**Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

He floated peacefully for two days, oblivious to pain, sun, chills and life. The shadow of death hovered with him on his journey, but hunger awoke him. He was weak and listless, but the witches knot had tangled in the shallows of a sand barge near shore. Nearby he could see the overgrown chimneys of a long abandoned river town. He painfully waded to shore. The houses had long ago been looted and nearly a hundred years of weather and wild had left very little to see. Still there were some structures that would provide him some measure of shelter and he could at least afford a fire at night for cooking and warmth.

The first issue of food is soon answered by the wild raspberry bushes that choked the former city streets with the painful razor thorn vines. Cinna didn't win his meal without blood offering to his savior, but the berries provided a rich source of food and moisture while the seeds created a need to evacuate the last of the poison from his system. He knew he should slow down, but his empty stomach refused to rebel and instead demanded more. Satisfied and dry for the first time in days, Cinna naps in the hot sun, awaking in the late afternoon. He gathers wood, selects a comfortable nest with what was once a lovely fireplace and he made himself a bed of grasses, leaves and other soft findings.

This nest of his was where he had to do more than heal from his injuries. In the coming weeks, with his nightly fire, this is where he would transform. His life was ashes now and only one bird could rise from ashes. Only one bird burns himself and is transformed.

Cinna mourns his loss. At night he dreams of her and the child he would never see. Sometimes he dreams of a girl holding a tiny bow, and the next dream is of a boy who glares at him for making him wear fancy 'Daddy cloths' as they prepare for a bayou son-of-a-gun. He dreams of Katniss always spinning and it makes him smile. He dreams of her face lit by the candles and the way she had taken so long to finally fall to the pleasure he offered her that first time.

He dreamed of that old life. He dreamed also of Haymitch. The man who told him the truth of his mother's fate, and the first true love of his life seemed to speak to him in his thoughts. Sometimes he cried in surety that he would never see him again, but he often shed tears for the things he'd done in ignorance. Cinna had once been his father's son. Haymitch hated him once. He didn't blame him for hating him, beings he'd planned to kill Haymitch just for the fun of it, because he could, because Daddy gave him the power.

He cried for love of a man who he had tortured. He cried that the man had loved him anyway and taught him how to fill his soul with it. He hoped where ever they were, alive or dead, they were taking care of each other. He feasted on zebra mussel stew and steamed crawfish and blackberries by the bucket. His heart feasted on the misery of his past. His birthday had started it. His seventeenth birthday had begun this path. The same age as Katniss is? Was? How he'd loved Haymitch then.

_**"But you can't make people listen. They have to come round in their own time, wondering what happened and why the world blew up around them. It can't last." **_

— _**Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

Haymitch knows he's in trouble this time. His mind is groggy and yet the pain is beyond description. The little bastard must have drugged him. He'd come in the room and now he was here, trussed up like something from the old, old world age of torture. He can't move, leaning slightly forward on the crossed beams, arms and legs strapped to the ends. His arms are so numb he can no longer even wiggle his fingers.

He hears the snap of the lash and grunts in pain, unwilling to scream for the sadistic boy. The vibration is next and he winces at the pleasure the device delivers to his prostate even as it also delivers pain by the placement inside him. He's helpless this time and the monster cackles gleefully behind him somewhere.

"I know you're awake, Haymitch," the calm voice says reasonably.

Haymitch sighs and lets his head fall forward again. Fighting the sensation and his body's response to it all. "I'm awake, you little shit." He winces again as the lash falls with more anger this time.

"Be careful how you speak to me, whore. You can die here if I choose it."

"Then get on with it. I'm sick of your crap." Haymitch manages through clenched teeth.

"All in good time, Haymitch. We are going to have lots of fun first. You are my birthday gift. Mine for as long as I require you, this time." His voice is smooth but taunting.

"This all you have in you boy? Is Pain all you know? Is this what makes your father proud?"

"What do you know? You're nothing. You are naught but an animal for my entertainment. Just meat that can still talk, for now. Scream for me. I love it when you scream." This is said as something scorching hot is placed up against Haymitch's stretched ribs. The voice is alluring and reserved even though the deeds of its owner are heinous.

Haymitch does scream as the searing, he can't flinch away from, is pressed to him again and again. "Go to hell, you worthless little beast." Haymitch growls as again the pain is replaced with the mind numbing pleasure of the thing in his bowel that can't seem to be expelled.

"Tell me, thank you. Submit. Tell me how much you like it, Haymitch. I know you do. I can see you do." The boy reaches out and cups him in front. Haymitch makes no sound as the other heat is brought to him and his body responds to the touch. He is helpless and his response is beyond his control. Haymitch hates this boy more with each appointment. He shudders, shamed and furious. His head is thrown back and he lets a small grunt of ecstasy escape as the waves of pleasure subside. He collapses against the restraints, weak and exhausted.

"See, I have given you the gift of my many caresses and you have betrayed the fact that you like what I do. Say thank you or I will give you what you deserve, you nasty, hopeless slave."

"Is this what your father does to you? Do you not know any better?" Haymitch quakes in pain now that the endorphins no longer wash through him.

"You don't even know who that is, Haymitch."

"Don't I boy? Do you think your little mask has fooled me? Do you think I haven't known since the first time Cinna Snow!" Haymitch twists his head to look into the masked face and pale green eyes of pure evil.

Silence is his only answer for so long he wonders if the boy is still there. Has he slipped away within his shattered tortured mind? The cramping comes with a small smile as Cinna removes his mask positioning himself in his prey's line of sight. Haymitch does not have the ability to scream this time; the electricity nearly pulls his arms out of joint as the muscles involuntarily contract with the current. It also causes him to have no breath. Cinna observes the pain with detached enjoyment.

Finally the waves of agony stop. Haymitch vomits and urinates unable to control the spasms of his bladder or care about the added disgrace of wetting himself. He slumps helplessly against his restraints again, not unconscious, but near enough that he has lost all fight. The effect is much like crucifixion; he loses the ability to make his lungs exchange air now that all weight is supported by his upper limbs.

The voice is soft and soothing, almost the voice of a doctor giving a patient bad news. "It doesn't matter now, Haymitch. He told me it would amuse him if I did kill you. You were safe actually. But, now you know who I am. I hate to lose you. You are my only enjoyment that truly relieves my boredom."

Haymitch forces himself to shakily stand again. He laughs at the threat weakly. "How did you get this way, boy? You're what, sixteen? " he asks hoarsely.

"I am seventeen. I am a man now, not a boy," Cinna says with a hint of defense.

"Hardly. You won't ever be a man. Nothing but a cruel little boy. Go ahead. Daddy's little baby can do his dirty work for him and be rewarded with more of this. It is true, isn't it? You can't understand kindness anymore. He took it from you, and you don't even know it. You can't be a man until someone gives their heart to you and you have made love to them and seen the light of joy in their eyes that you put there. Pleasure, not hate and sorrow in someone's eyes. You are no man. You have no hope of ever being anything but your fathers little tool. This shit is all you will ever know."

"The things I know are beyond stupid misplaced lovesick myths." Cinna argues, sounding like he is offended.

"That isn't what your mother would have said. She would have been sick to have known you now." Haymitch sighs deeply, trying to relieve the pain in his arms and unable to support himself enough to manage it.

"What do you know of my mother?" There is danger behind the question.

"More than you ever will." Haymitch mumbles. He may as well die; he's going to lose his hands if this keeps up much longer. The circulation is gone and he has no idea how long he's been here.

"Tell me." The boy demands.

"Fuck you."

More rounds of pain, Haymitch can only offer a token reaction now, he's given up and his mind is focused on how to make the boy kill him faster. If he can find a way to make him rage, it will be much easier. When the boy doesn't get the desired response from his toy, he roughly yanks the device out of Haymitch, lifts him so he is pinned in position, allowing his lungs the ability to function again and obliges the order.

Cinna is brutal in his rhythm and yet it does him no good, his only hope of enjoying himself, is to make this receptacle of his will, scream. Only screams bring Cinna pleasure. Haymitch is so stubborn and fearless. He lasts so much longer then Cinna can, when Father is in a mood for his terrible lessons. Cinna screams freely for his father's pleasure.

"I am going to hurt you in ways you can't even imagine, Haymitch," he whispers seductively, gripping the victor's shoulders for more traction.

Haymitch lurches forward with each thrust, but he barely registers the assault. He doesn't even mind this part anymore, it is not pleasant to be invaded so harshly, but Haymitch had long ago learned to endure it. In the right setting, he'd even come to enjoy physical experiences with a man. His arms dying tissue offer far greater pain then the boy's cock delivers. "Give it up boy. You aren't even the worst appointment I've had this week. You are pathetic if you really want to know. You don't have the imagination to even conceive the things you don't know. All you do is repeat your father's impotent little mantras and regurgitate the sick little games he plays with you. All you make me feel, is pity."

Cinna pulls out, frustrated, angry, doubting his expertise in these matters. Any other victor would be begging to please him to stop the pain and accepting any humiliation in its place. Haymitch has yet to submit to him completely. Many appointments ago, Cinna had been reprimanded, not for his cruelty, but for the loss of revenue he'd caused with his fun.

This time, he is allowed to permanently remove Haymitch from the role of Escort if he wishes to experience the powerful perfection of watching a true warrior succumb to a hopeless death while accepting total degradation with his last breath. Father says it is the most rapturous experience that can be attained. It is a rare gift and may be savored at any languid pace he desires or greedily consumed immediately. Father had almost felt love for him as he explained his generosity. He was told to make it last as long as he could, to give his mind plenty of time to expand, but knowingly his father had admitted he would understand if he was unable to prolong Abernathy's hell. It was most exciting, holding Haymitch's existence in his slightest whim.

Long ago, he was told his mother left him because she was weak and stupid. Father wants his son to never be weak or stupid. He will be pleased to hear that Haymitch has expired in pure humility. It will be a moment of bonding between them.

Still, Cinna has heard whispers that his mother is dead, he wonders what this magnificent creature knows. He calculates if Haymitch would take a bargain for the information, the offer of his life maybe? Would he see that it was only a matter of time, or would he be fooled into feeling safe?

Haymitch is a delicate balance for Cinna, because he is both despicable and infinitely desirable. "What do you want? I will give you a reward if you tell me what you know of my mother? Or is it just a lie? I will know if you lie and it will make me very angry. What do you know of her?"

Haymitch smirks. "Her name was Genesis and you had her eyes once. You will have to cut me down for any more."

"I am no fool. You would kill me. You are a victor."

"And you are his son. How far do you think killing you would get me? More of this, except for the whole country to see? I am not your enemy. You are your own enemy, Cinna. Your eyes are closed." Haymitch is losing his ability to stay alert. His head is rolling and he plays it up, hoping the boy will see him as harmless. He pretends to pass out, ignoring the pain and panting as if he's going into shock. He isn't actually pretending.

Cinna feels Haymitch's throat. The pulse races so much it truly scares him. He will not be cheated out of his final play. It must be perfect, not accidental. The electricity may have been too much. He was very angered at that moment and may have let it go on too long. He releases the bonds from his control switch all at once and watches Haymitch tumble to the ground in a naked heap. When the man doesn't move he approaches him warily, knife in hand.

He holds the knife to Haymitch's throat. Part of him wants to watch this thing he has grown so fond of die. The sorrow of his death would be enchanting, yet another part of Cinna wants Haymitch to love him. He wants the handsome victor's approval, which makes him feel stupid and leads him to wanting him dead again.

Holding such a life within his hand makes Cinna feel both powerful and yet not being able to command him, even with pain, is so irritating. Haymitch is beautiful. Haymitch is a wild soul. Cinna wants to be like him, yet he is not worthy of him. He has not earned the right to kill him yet. He must have the submission first.

He touches the arms and is not surprised at how cold they are. He rubs the fingers quietly, warming the cold swollen fingers. He knows they will be painful for a while, but he has released him. It only takes a few hours for tissue death to occur, and he doesn't want him damaged in that sort of way. Watching him die might be a treat, but just making him cripple would be a sorrow. Cinna loved Haymitch's hands. They were strong, hard and dangerous. There were calluses on the fingers. He didn't understand what activity could put them there, and he tried to imagine what he was like back in the rat hole he was born in.

He wondered if he had a woman or two. He imagined men were off limits in the hill-billy districts, but Haymitch is so sly, he probably has ten little hearts all on secret strings. Cinna would make a point to attend his interment services and examine each mourner who was remotely attractive.

The face has a hard look to it and it is even more pronounced when his eyes are not open. He had mentioned love. Cinna wondered what he looked like in love. Did he love wildly, softly, passionately or was he a doormat once caught. Cinna examines his face closely. He is so perfect. Haymitch has filled out and is more beautiful than when he won, fifteen years ago. Cinna was too young to remember, but he had the fiftieth game nearly memorized, having played father's extended version quite often.

This year would be the sixty-fifth games. Cinna would sample any new victor, but something always returned him to this half-drunk aging party boy, Haymitch Abernathy, the most disagreeable victor to ever live past his tour. Cinna knows love is shallow and useless, but this man is almost worth the adventure of the attempt. If he loved him, perhaps when he killed him, a souvenir would be a comfort. His skin would make a nice book cover. Perhaps a finger on a necklace or his magnificent secret mounted for all to admire. Perhaps he could have his remains sent to be converted, a nice Haymitch genetic pet Mutt would be a fabulous accessory.

_**"That's the good part of dying; when you've nothing to lose, you run any risk you want." **_

— _**Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

Haymitch groans as his eyes open. He snorts his nose at the knife at his throat. "Do it. Please." He says with the oddest entertained expression on his face. Cinna tilted his head. He'd never gotten Haymitch to say please about anything. He didn't ask for his life. He ask him to carry out this threat, and even wanted it badly enough to be submissive. What wily game was now in the works?

"You want it, don't you? You would just lay there and let me slit your throat. Why is it so important that you won't submit to me?" Cinna asks with curious open expression.

"Because if I do, you won't ever hope for more. It would be your final ruin. You will be just like him, once and for all." Haymitch says with intensity.

"If you want to die, why are you calculating how to take the knife from me?"

Haymitch smiles indulgently. "Because if you cut me there, it won't kill me. "Haymitch takes his hand and repositions the knife, "There, cut there, deep and sure, and it will be a big squirty show. Like red passion all over you. No medic can fix that and every heartbeat will spray you with the life you take. It will make you so hot you will never exist again and your mother will finally be perfectly expelled from any hope or dream she ever had in you. You will be her final flawless sorrow."

Cinna's eyes widen in anger and he holds the knife blade tight, wanting to do the very thing he's offered. Hatred billows in Cinna so much that the light fading from the gray eyes would almost be worth not knowing whatever it is he can say about the woman this fool is not even worthy to mention. Cinna glares at him, trying to make the victor look away. Instead he stretches his neck, and never takes his eyes elsewhere, smirking at him even, as if daring Cinna to give him a gift.

"What about the ones you told me about? The ones who love you? If you would walk away from them so easily, you prove love doesn't matter. Your actions substantiate me to be correct, Haymitch," Cinna barely whispers.

Haymitch smiles, but his eyes leak. "You will be sending me to them. Your father sent them off early. It's only right his son let me follow."

Cinna looks at the knife and the skin it threatens to part, then back in the rain cloud eyes, sparkling in grief. The sarcasm becomes more vivid, it is survival, and maybe it is all Haymitch has left. "You would not submit to my father? Just as you won't submit to me. Everyone? If you have nobody left, how did he finally win?"

"Strangers. Children. It was the five year old who broke me. I became a whore for a little girl I had never met, who was reaped nine years later and died in the jaws of a saber-toothed Liger. For nothing in other words. It is all for nothing. Yet love gives it meaning, even in loss and sorrow. You kill me, nobody gets punished. If I do it, his anger will be taken out on people who don't even like me. For the glimmer of love I can't even know, I wait. What are you waiting for? This is as close as you will ever get to that submissive fantasy you have about me." Haymitch winks at him, as if they share a private joke.

"You are crazy aren't you?" Cinna sighs, backs away and keeping the knife safely in his hand, watches Haymitch for his next move.

"Who ever said I wasn't? I fall in love twice every year, and then guide them to the very thing you offer me now. You can't even see the kindness you bid me. It won't work, from all the way over there, unless you can throw that little breadknife you hold." Haymitch moves slowly, and rolls onto his side tucking his arm under his head. He studies Cinna and then chuckles. His contempt is plain. "So you think the threat will work, but you don't want me dead? What do you bloody want?"

Cinna lifts his chin. "I want my mother," he whispers.

"But he took her from you. Just like he took mine. He has damaged you. The question is, whether or not he's done so much destruction, that it is all you are. Is the son of Genesis beyond repairing his soul? Has your Daddy stolen even that from you boy, or is there still enough light to create a shadow in that dead thing you call a heart?" Haymitch sounds like his nonsense is wisdom.

"You think just because I refuse love that I am incapable of it? You are wrong. I loved her, and I always will. My mother was everything, until she stopped loving me and abandoned me. She didn't even say goodbye. That is the kind of love you speak of? I can breed more allegiance in pain and fear. Love is nothing but a convenient lie for those pathetic enough to believe in some imaginary trust. It exists only so long as it serves those who spout of its virtue. Then, just like the fog in the hot sun of truth, it disappears without a backward glance. It has no magic power and no weight or volume. It can't be seen when needed most or ever counted on. Fear and pain are more enduring." Cinna stands and throws the knife; it lands an inch from Haymitch's head and sticks into the pine floor.

"Aren't you afraid that handing me a weapon will be your last mistake Cinna? Your view of love is a terrible mistake. What if you're wrong? About them both?" Haymitch pulls the blade from the floor and absently twirls it delicately through his aching fingers.

Cinna crosses his arms and sighs in disgust. His lips curl into a triumphant smile. "The games prove it every year. Even the fact that, not one of your little beloved dead tributes has seen a single person, who loves them enough, to step up and take the place of the chosen. No family member or best friend is ever so full of love that they will face probable doom for another. All the people you claim my father took from you deserved it, Haymitch. They didn't give a damned about you, so long as it wasn't them. You even let your own partner walk away, just to save yourself the task of making it quick and painless for her. Do you ever think of the extra suffering you gave her? The birds, Haymitch, they were brilliantly painful. But, easier for you. Weren't they?"

Haymitch looks up at him, mild and considering his rebuke. "You forgot one part, Cinna. I didn't want her to have to live with killing me either. Each of us offered it to the other without your cameras catching on. Don't think you can sit in your big soft chair and watch, and begin to understand the games. Don't think you can pretend to judge the value of love when you have lost the ability to feel it."

"Tell me. Haymitch, are you here to teach me all your false beliefs or did we not agree that you being cut down, for the moment, would lead to you speaking of where you think my mother is?" Cinna challenges.

_**"Don't listen," whispered Faber. "He's trying to confuse. He's slippery. Watch out." **_

— _**Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

"Look in your deepest heart. Would she have left you if given any option? He butchered her as he is trying to do to you, right now. He is trying to kill every last drop of soul left in you. To do that, he had to remove her from your life. There is only one solution there. She could only be gone from you, if she was removed from the world. She put up with his horrible tortures, to stay by your side as long as he would allow it. Don't you even understand she gave her life willingly to protect you as best she could?" Haymitch says the words with gentleness, explaining to Cinna as kindly as he can the fate of Genesis Snow.

Cinna fixes himself a drink as he listens to Haymitch's thoughts. He hands a second glass of spirits to Haymitch, approaching him without a flinch of fear, as if they had not just spent the last hours in battle and cruelty. He flops down next to Haymitch, sipping from his glass before speaking, but watching him as the knife skips through the fingers playfully. "I would like to believe what you say. But then she has to be dead. I always imagined she went back to the magic forest that grew deep in the brown water." His eyes are wistful and far away.

This is the moment Haymitch should act. He should plunge the blade into the distracted boy's heart and be done with this once and for all, but instead he sits up and carelessly slings the knife toward a wall, demonstrating that he could have taken the life of his captor at any moment. Cinna glances at the position of the point, at the dead center of the beatific portrait of his father, who overlooks all of the rooms in various depictions meant to inspire. The blade stakes the painting to the splattered wall in exactly the spot his heart would rest, had the subject been graced with one.

Cinna understands the meaning. Haymitch doesn't fear him in the least, but he is offering a small truce, if Cinna is willing to accept it. "I guess this means I am done hurting you." He mumbles with a little defeat.

Haymitch smiles at him for the first time with something other than hate. "I seriously doubt that, sweetheart. I imagine it is just the natural beginning of the real pain you will bring to my future. I should pretend to attack you right now, force you to kill me, if I had a half-brain left in my head."

"My Mother?" Cinna commands .

Haymitch nods. "Ok. She was born down in the woods of the wild people. A patrol captured her and because of the way she looked, they brought her to the capitol for use. Your Father happened to see her during a virgin bidding war. I think she was all of fourteen. I didn't pay much attention to her. Had my own problems then, but I remember the telecast of the wedding? It was nothing to me then, I was just a seam kid and your father went through brides pretty fast at the time. Then I was reaped. You were just a little thing and they appeared publicly, but she looked far different from the little bride. She still barely spoke English, they have some other way of talking down there. Your father was abusive to her. But he also enjoyed hiring the abuse out and sitting back and watching."

"Do you mean this kind of abuse?" Cinna asks, interested but horrified as well.

"Not precisely. He forced her to accept the attentions of men. He threatened you if she protested. Once my fate was sealed, and the size of a certain bit of me was noted, I was required to participate. It was the worst feeling in the world, watching her suffer, knowing she was not built for me and every moment would be endured. Knowing it would be me who finally brought her to tears and your father sitting in a corner, saying terrible things to her, and worse. She would have stood it all, if she hadn't found the burns on you."

"On me? "

Haymitch nods stoically, chewing his lip as he tries to figure out what else he could say. "It was a scandal when the two of you disappeared. They searched for two years. They drug swamp rats to the capital for interrogation. They assumed you were both dead, but as all things do, you turned up. There were celebrations and explanations and activity returned to normal. I was on the train for one of his required visits, when I was told the services were no longer required. A week later the story broke that she had broken his heart and abandoned her poor little boy. And that is how you became the darling leader in training. Your training is not unknown you know. There are those who would help you if you were remotely worth the effort. Most believe you are too far gone."

"Help me what? I hate what you have said about her, but don't imagine that my life is anything but perfect. I can do anything I want. I have an allowance bigger than the revenue you produce on your best week. I can make anyone do anything." Cinna defends.

"Not quite." Haymitch smiles and pauses. "You can't make me do a damned thing, you can't have her and you can't make him stop."

Cinna sees the unpleasant truth. It embarrasses him that people pity him. He turns his back on Haymitch. He doesn't want him to see him as weak, but the information about his mother hurts. Not loving him is better than dead. He doesn't expect the gentle hand on his shoulder.

"So you do have a heart after all." Haymitch turns him and holds Cinna as he cries and then confesses things he never should to someone who should not care. Haymitch looked down in Cinna's tear-streaked swollen face. "How about, just once, we try things my way?"

Cinna won't meet his eyes. "It won't work. Not for me."

"You let me worry about that. If you are willing to try, let's get out of here." Haymitch kissed him softly and Cinna searched his face, trying to see how he was being fooled. He wondered what Haymitch's way was. And so the lessons began. By the third one, Cinna had fallen in love, madly deeply and without any ability to ever think of killing him again.

The first time he'd shown up for an appointment, covered in burns of his own, Haymitch had been angry. He had stormed into his father's office and they had closed the door. He was gone so long that Cinna was sure he'd been shuffled down to the chambers.

Things were lovely for a while. Haymitch had convinced his father that by forcing him to take punishment he was making him weak rather than strong. He convinced him that Cinna must be challenged rather than broken. It seemed to make sense to his father and for months he didn't hurt him. Haymitch, over the years, got between he and his father, using a whole new ploy each time. Sometimes things backfired. Haymitch got whipped for him more than once and Cinna had cried when it was over and he finally had Haymitch safely alone.

By the time he was nineteen, his father wanted things wrapped up once and for all with Abernathy. Cinna refused, saying he had no intent of depriving himself of his services and refused to do anything that the man wanted as badly as death. Cinna broke it off with Haymitch, knowing he'd cause the victor nothing but misery. It was said Haymitch had taken up with his father's newest escort, Finnick Odair.

Cinna sunk into the many debaucheries of the capitol, sampling men, women and many things he shouldn't have. Haymitch became a full blown drunk and was treated like a clown. Cinna became more and more in rage against his father. He was publicly disclaimed. It was a terrible time, but he'd survived it. His father and he no longer spoke and he became an outsider, impoverished and forgotten. Cinna accepted lowly tasks to survive, becoming more like Haymitch in order to pay for design school, though his appointments were strictly made by his own choice.

He again became known among the fashionable as someone with star power in his many innovative designs. When he signed up as a designer for the games, he picked District 12. Haymitch, sly as ever, drug him into the secrets of his hopeless rebellion and Cinna had not hesitated to do his part. He had not meant to fall for the girl on fire, but as he sat on the banks of the mighty river, he was thankful that he'd known them both.

Somehow he would return, seeking revenge. He had tested his little limb and log craft in the shallows of the sandbanks. He used what he found and his hair grew long and his skin tan, accenting his many scars. He stood at the back of his odd looking craft, letting the current drag him, and using a pole to guide him, Cinna navigates the churning waterway as only a true swamp rat can.

He headed home, looking to the future, but keeping his memories safe like treasure. Shadow said he, where can it be, this land of Eldorado. He tried to remember the Swamp French words he'd learned as a child. Soon he crossed into the borderlands, dealing with his grief, his mountains of the moon, and he lost himself in the beautiful darkness of home.

_**"you could feel the war getting ready in the sky that night. the way the clouds moved aside and came back, and the way the stars looked, a million of them swimming between the clouds, like the enemy discs, and the feeling that the sky might fall upon the city and turn it to chalk dust, and the moon go up in red fire; that was how the night felt" — Ray Bradbury (Fahrenheit 451)**_

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><p><em><strong>Ok now you know of Cinna – and yes they will meet again – but that doesn't mean she ends up with him…..or Gale…..Or Finnick…..Or Peeta….evil grin or even Hay-baby-hay-baby—haybabyhay -nope not going to tell -Lol – lotsa Lemons left on the tree – grin. I do hope you get that Poor Cinna was very broken and came a very long way – to have gone from a sadistic selfish monster to the adult he is now - so that is why there is still – all these years later still such deep feeling there for he and Haymitch.. I don't know what hooked all this obscure stuff together for me – but I just imagine Cinna as beyond normal reactions and calm for a reason. Thank you so much for all the reviews. And if you missed Haymitch kisses – well maybe someone else will feel smoochy in the next chapter.<strong>_


	11. Chapter 11

**Pleasure to burn - chapter eleven**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn  
><strong>Summary<strong>: _Haymitch is recovering or at least grouchy. Gale is in trouble causing Coin and Katniss to butt heads. Trouble is very dark._  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Katniss, Haymitch, Gale, Prim, Mrs. Everdeen, Finnick

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author notes**: Short but another update will be out by tomorrow.

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><p><em><strong>"What traitors books can be! You think they're backing you up, and they turn on you. Others can use them, too, and there you are, lost in the middle of the moor, in a great welter of nouns and verbs and adjectives." - Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451<strong>_

Katniss storms into Coins office smiling with wrath. Her visit to the confinement wing had been useless other than to observe that Gale was not chained and naked. He was in fact sleeping as far as she could tell from the guards monitor. "I must say that I am thrilled to see it is so important to you to keep me happy. Are you fighting Snow or just me?"

Coin sighs, not even having the energy to rise to her taunt. "Hawthorne felt it necessary to steal a weapon not assigned to him and he has been arrested. It is an offence punishable by death. Surely you can see that I have been more than fair in this instance?"

"He is at least still clothed, I must admit. However, dead would have brought a lot of very dark clouds into this relationship. Let's just cut to business, what do you want?" Katniss meets the older woman's eyes with placid danger.

"First we should understand each other, my dear. Gale Hawthorne is not my only bargaining chip in this matter. I have others. There is the rescue of Peeta Mellark to be discussed, and we don't want to forget that drunk you care so much about. I must say that was a shock little girl. How many lovers do you have, exactly?"

"As many as I want and I should mention that if it is your intent to hold them over me at every turn, you may be disappointed with the results." Katniss glares at her as she takes a half seat casually on the corner of Coin's desk.

"I see. So if my demands are outside of your comfort zone then you have no problem pulling up stakes and moving on?" Coin asks sweetly.

Katniss knows a trap when she sees one. "I don't want that as an outcome. Has it not occurred to you that I want you to win? I believe in you. I want to do anything to achieve that. I won't be coddled, lied to or threatened to make it happen. I have played the pawn and I have paid the price for getting to this place. Now if you want to see a victor with nothing more to lose, take my supposed lovers from me. Because those little glimpses of me you have seen in games don't begin to make you understand. I hate the capitol with everything I have. I hated them before they killed Cinna and before they took Peeta. Don't think I don't have enough to go around if you dangle the life of Haymitch and Gale's Freedom over my head. Now release him and tell me what you want."

"I want you to step up and stop playing like you are not in the same boat with us. You wander around here in a daze. Stop sniveling and give me something to work with here." She throws a stapler across the room.

"He will be out of the woods in few days. Send me wherever you want. Hell, send me to the capitol to rescue Peeta." Katniss says with a little fear, knowing this woman is playing games that are not going to do anything but cause more trouble. "Send Gale with me. You are just wasting him in solitary. "

Coin seems to consider what Katniss said. She clicks her silver ink pen neurotically. She purses her lips just before speaking. "I will give you your three days with Abernathy. He is in for a long haul before he is really back in the game. I will send you out among the troops. I can't say it will have much more function in the beginning than moral boost. How do you feel about babysitting Odair?"

"Finn would do better out doing something. I have no issue with him. If he wasn't dwelling on Annie, he might be able to function. But Hawthorne is out now or no deal?"

"Acceptable. Keep them in line Mockingjay." She scribbles a code onto her letterhead, "This will get his release."

"Isn't this easier than all the secret agent crap?" Katniss stands and holds out her hand.

Coin rises to meet her, and though she takes her hand, the gesture is empty. "Not particularly, No. Just know, you let me down and your stud-service Haybitch will be the new standard of protocol in prolonged excruciating execution."

"That isn't making me your friend. I'm probably the only person in the universe who cares what you do to the ass-hole, but just be aware, pregnant ladies and seam girls are a strange mix of memory and wrath. I have a few standards too, sweetheart."

"You ever call me sweetheart again? You will learn some respect, little seam slut." Her eyes dance as she spits the last bits at Katniss.

"Trust me, you would like what I am calling you now, much less." Katniss winks and slams the door to her office.

She is marching through the outer office as the President's door swings wide open, "Play your cards carefully. The dealer always wins, Katniss," she says as if they are sharing a joke.

"Not if the players leave the game, sweetheart." Katniss says, turning around but still walking. She holds her arms out as if what she said is painfully obvious.

Katniss heads to solitary. She hands the guard the paper from Coin and the door to his cell opens. She steps in, and at the last minute she turns to catch the door, just as it snicks closed with an ominous finality.

Gale opens one eye and sighs. "You didn't just walk in here and let them have you did you?

"I am here to set you free."

Gale sits up and frowns as he shakes his head. "The best traps are always the simplest, Catnip."

Her eyes grow wide. She glares at the camera. "Open the door! He is to be released to me."

A few minutes pass and there is no sound. She is in early panic stages trying to find some imagined mystery exit by the time the speaker crackles. "Not very good at cards are you, Miss Everdeen?" a voice says, but so morphed it is unrecognizable. She still has no doubt precisely who it is.

"I really get you are in charge. OK? You made your point," Katniss says, glaring up at the camera.

"Are you sure? I think maybe you should consider what I said to you and what your vulnerabilities are at this moment."

"What do you mean?"

" Use your imagination. I told you who I would start with."

Katniss throws herself at the door uselessly. "No. You leave him alone! No!"

A few minutes pass as she injures herself enough to have to stop. Gale stands up and wraps his arms around Katniss. The voice booms again, "The cameras are being set up right now, just so you can see what I do to him." A screen blips on from behind a Plexiglas wall. Haymitch is asleep as a flurry of activity occurs near his bed.

"Please don't do this!" Katniss' voice rises in terror watching helplessly as people position them around her mentor's bed.

" Finnick Odair wasn't a very good choice of guards, Mockingjay. I am afraid we upset him." A camera shows him bucking and screaming in another room. He wears a strait jacket as he bangs his head against the padded walls.

"Please! Please." Katniss stares at the screen in horror. This is exactly what she meant about she'd be dead without Haymitch. The scene returns to a sleeping Haymitch. There is a man standing over him smiling into the camera. He quietly puts restraints on Haymitch, so gently that Haymitch remains obliviously asleep.

"Oh God, Please don't hurt him? You're mad at me. Take it out on me? Coin? Are you there? Do it to me, not him!" Katniss stares at the screen. She touches the panel and the picture disappears. Katniss turns to the camera. "I can't see. It went off."

" Anticipation is a charming pastime. I want you to let your mind fly at all the resources I have available. We will show you the feed once we finish. Sweet nightmares. It is my belief that nightmares are always better in the dark."

The lights go out. There is nothing. It is the blackness of caves and tombs. Suddenly, hands touch her in the dark and she jumps. "Katniss, it's ok. Just hang on to me," Gale says when he feels her tremble.

"A little taste of your mentor's future? Too bad it will be so horrid for him to reach. How long you sit there will be determined by how long he lasts."

Katniss, pleads. But no more is said by the horrible speaker. Gale leads her to the bed and they sit and wait. Katniss, finds the idea of being in the pure dark oppressive. It feels too much like how Gale's father and her own met their end. When added against all the things she can imagine them doing to Haymitch, she quickly turns into a shattering heap of sobs and meaningless guttural sounds.

Gale does the best he can to hold her and comfort her, but there isn't a lot he can say that is going to make her feel better. His mind, less tortured by the Haymitch possibilities, works desperately on some solution to their own problems.

When Katniss has finally quieted, he asks, "Who knows you came here?"

"Only Finn." She whispers hoarsely.

"Fantastic. Wasn't there anyone else you told?"

Katniss thought carefully, "No. Gale this is going to kill me. I will lose my mind if they hurt him."

He ignores her declaration. "What about later? Do you have an appointment with anyone? Is there someone expecting you who might raise some stink if you don't show? Anyone who will miss you?"

"Yeah. And they are going to torture him to death. She said he would be the new standard in the most horrible execution ever seen. I can't see it. She will make me watch and it won't matter, he'll be gone. I can't see it after." Katniss is frantically unlacing her boots.

"What are you doing?"

"Laces. I'm going to hang myself. If I die, right now. She won't have any reason…"

Gales hands cover hers, stopping her. "You need to look at the bigger picture, Katniss. That may be exactly her intention. We need to wait for now. I didn't want to scare you, but there is the matter that we can't get out of here."

"Yeah? I got that."

"What time was it?"

"It was about noon. A little after maybe. "

"Well it's been almost twenty-four hours since they fed me. We may not have to do anything. If they don't bring us food, or at least drinking water, I think it makes their plan pretty clear."

"Gale? You mean?" Katniss catches her breath.

"I mean we may use your idea. It beats dehydration. "

"Oh no, Prim and Posy?"

"Nothing we can do. Let's just wait and see. It's only about another hour. They serve early here in solitary. If they are planning on just leaving us here, who will question it? Lots of people knew we talked about running away. If they kill Haymitch, they may pass it off as we ran away when he died."

We wait. Gale stands up and sighs, he bumps around the small room. "What are you thinking?"

His footsteps stop. "Truth, Catnip?"

"Might as well."

"I think anything we have to say, better be said."

_**"I just want someone to hear what I have to say. And maybe if I talk long enough, it'll make sense." - Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Pleasure to burn - chapter twelve**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn12  
><strong>Summary<strong>:_. A peek at Cinna's true fate. Katniss and Gale battle more than one kind of darkness._  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Katniss, Gale, Cinna

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author notes**:_ This has been on hold while I rewrote The Mockingjay and the Chameleon and got The Mockingjay and the Albatross going. So I am still slow, only if you don't consider the number of stories I have going – and do note each story has a lot of separated and completely original back story and relationship markers. (I have to keep track of that—sometimes they bleed and it gets confuzzilating even to me, but I am pokey but not give-uppy – Thank you for the wonderful reviews.) I dropped some F-bombs so jumping the rating to M. _

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><p>Cinna is tired, but he's made the passage. He flops the gear he needs onto his back and began the long winding trip into the swamp. The witch's veil hung from the trees giving every bend the spirit of magic. This was the most danger filled part of the journey for anyone but a swamp rat. Big toothys owned these waters and an outlander wouldn't have much chance. Travelers had to understand the giant reptiles and how they trolled for prey. People on foot also had to be aware that they were not easy to see when they hauled out and stepping on one was a good way to find out if you loved your legs.<p>

He remembered how to tread softly on the gummy soil and it felt natural to leap up to the Cyprus Knobs and pick his way across the deeper sections. If he had an airboat, he could be home within the hour, but by ankle and knob, it would take several days.

His thoughts turned again to Haymitch and most of all Katniss. If only she had lived. Haymitch had pulled off some miracles in the years he'd known him, but this one, was more than likely out of his hands. The explosions had cracked the foundation of the arena center. The entire place had been a power plasma force field. The heat and sudden energy transfer would have ripped anyone under it to pieces. Even Haymitch couldn't fix that kind of utterly potent death. If he managed his plan, a hovercraft would have been incinerated like paper. By all Cinna's calculations, Haymitch had probably found peace casketed in a molten glob of twisted metal tumbling from the sky.

Haymitch had to have been there. He would have never left her. Even if he realized he had no chance of success, he would have gone to Katniss. Cinna had seen Haymitch's meltdown when she'd been taken the night of the interviews. He saw the same look in his eyes once, when they had been young. Haymitch loved her and he could be one hell of a bastard about things in his heart.

If he watched her die, Cinna held no hope for the man's sanity. Cinna knew Haymitch's secret. Haymitch had been failing when Katniss and Peeta showed up. He wasn't dying physically yet, but there was something inside him that had turned malignant. He'd played his role of drunken joker for so long; it was becoming who he was in reality.

Cinna had seen it in other victors. He'd produced the effect in them to his later personality's older wiser shame. Cinna knew there was only one victor who made it a habit to accept a certain clientele intentionally. He had not been certain until just recently, but his old lover and teacher was in the middle of a slowly diminishing cycle.

**_Surely you remember the boy in your own school class who was exceptionally 'bright,' did most of the reciting and answering while the others sat like so many leaden idols, hating him. And wasn't it this bright boy you selected for beatings and tortures after hours? Of course it was. –Fahrenheit 451_**

He was no longer the capitols darling and as bad as life was for Finnick, Haymitch walked a much darker path. He was slowly letting himself go. He was just waiting for someone, like Cinna had been long ago, to come along and take what Cinna had failed to complete. Haymitch searched for the one who would finally buy his life.

There were rumors about him. Abernathy is a has-been. He won't last much longer. Haymitch the drunk threw up again. If he was on television, it was only so someone could make fun of him. He was a fallen hero, but no longer thought to be a hero. Then, his drunken dive off the stage had been an all-time shocking low. Cinna had requested district twelve because he'd hoped to make a splash, but even more, he'd hoped to save his old friend. Those kids walked into his life and suddenly he was back with his game face on. He sure wasn't fixed or happy, but a breath of his old spirit returned. He wasn't looking at the world through the eyes of a corpse for the first time in three or four years.

Cinna should have never become involved with the girl. He should have said no. That possibility simply didn't exist in truth, he could have no more turned her request down then he could have designed winged shoes that would let her fly out of the arena. It would have made things less complex, but in accuracy she had won Cinna's heart too. That something so fiercely innocent and wildly dangerous could exist in the same package, and had trusted him with something so sacred, had broken something in Cinna. It hadn't broken him in a way that needed fixing, but as if some last chains of his father had fallen away. Katniss made Cinna feel clean and beautiful inside. He had tried so hard to be better than he was raised, but the hopeless horror that he might never succeed in grasping and avoiding his father's evil had always been with him.

Katniss was a girl on fire, because she had burned away his old soul and filled him with shimmering new things. His only regret about Katniss is that maybe he had stolen her. Maybe he took Haymitch's needed miracle and contaminated the whole rebel cause, because he had needed her far more than she could understand. The gift she had given him, even if it only lasted a few moments, that she could want and even love a child he fathered, made him a phoenix of gold dancing in fire. Cinna had made her a girl on fire, but she had made Cinna someone beautiful. She said he was beautiful. She said he was perfect. She made it true by wanting his child. It may be cruel, but he would rather they be dead then subjected to his father, and her protecting the baby, even when she could have sold the child to him for any price she'd ask, was without any comparable experience.

Once he reached Eldorado, he would be safe. He had no intent of remaining safe. His Great-Granda' had many people. It was time for the old talk to become more than prophecy and old women's dreams. Cinna set the world on fire and now it was time to show them that if you kill a Mockingjay, a phoenix will rise. They have taken his two life mates from him and his child in all probability. There is nothing like the wrath of a righteous fanatic who has nothing to lose. Combine that with a little psychopathic gene-pool and Panem may as well surrender this moment.

**_And there at the bottom of the hayloft stair, waiting for him, would be the incredible thing. He would step carefully down, in the pink light of early morning, so fully aware of the world that he would be afraid, and stand over the small miracle and at last bend to touch it. – Fahrenheit 451_**

Alive or dead, he would carry them, Haymitch and Katniss. He would step forward now, taking his place in history. His mother had promised him to the ages. His mother's people would finish the work begun by the tragic hero and the girl of flame. The free peoples would stand up, rising like fox fire, to avenge the things wrought in darkness. The swords may be broken, but the forge still burned and so long as the forge could exist, new weapons would be made. It is the time of Eldorado. It is the rise of Atlantis. The Bells of Ker-Y's would not toll in vain any longer. Cinna did not crawl home to hide in sorrow, he returned to make Camelot real.

The journey would be difficult, but there were others who would join them. He would unite the tiny vestiges of life outside Panem. There were others, though Panem had long forgotten the possibility. Eldorado existed deep in the swamps. The Zorrocans existed south of district ten. The Lakota of old plains lived in the badlands. Kanooks hid in the icelands. There were Trapperkeepers deep in the Rockies. Prospecters wandered the deserts of desperation. Gullah folk were legend in district four. Injun warriors roamed a place called westlands. Far north lived Titans and Sky people. Rednecks, Templars, Masons, Star People, Wind walkers, Plain folk, and all the little pockets of people who had refused to submit to the terrible tyranny would be his army. Panem thought they had long ago wiped the wild people out. They were wrong. They had tried to exterminate all free thought, but with ignorance and ego also come the weaknesses of self-deceit.

Cinna would teach the Capitol about ignoring Myth. No flame could burn him now, for the phoenix in him relished fire.

Cinna knew that no matter what, he would win against his father. The most dangerous enemy is a former disciple. He would never have left him if he had not murdered his mother. His father had indoctrinated his son so well and thoroughly that he'd nearly been his perfect reflection. He taught him pain was love, agony was joy and fear was art. He still loved the man. He still wanted to redeem him and fix him. He would have taken any torment to fill his dreams with pride. He couldn't explain why his mother's death mattered when he was seventeen and could barely remember her voice, but it was the little earthquake of life that changed everything. His mother had been kindness and a glowing bank of hope. She was a princess in the magic place and she told him long dead stories of strange people who did stupid things that disturbed him in their pointlessness. His father knew more. His father was right. But the stories of his mother and the tales the old ones of the swamp told meant something special. He knew they were full of fools who went on quests of futility, but he also loved those poor tragic jesters of ideal.

They secretly spoke to him and bade he follow. This was the moment he finally answered. He had danced in hell and dealt adoration to demons, but hellfire is not punishment when you let it make you pure. There was nothing more pure than a fool.

The little toothy roasted on spitfire as the shadows entered his camp. Cinna rose and met their eyes.

"Who be you are?" the guttural gruff voice demanded.

His own voice returned the answer in the placid tone he was known to always use. "Be I Cinna, son of Genesis, daughter of the warrior Gator Roy, son of the Bonny Charletraine who was birthed by the monster. I am the phoenix and I have returned from my exile."

The men warily entered the clearing. "Den said the word for faith."

Cinna smiled, "I am the Shade, betrayed but whole. Say me Bedight"

The men's eyes grew wide and they broke into smiles. Hats came off and animal calls were whistled. Soon the clearing was full of ragged proud creatures bidding the lost son welcome.

**_"If you don't want a house built, hide the nails and wood. If you don't want a man unhappy politically, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none." Fahrenheit 451_**

The dark was confusing. Katniss couldn't believe she'd fallen asleep. She felt guilty for giving in to the exhaustion that had followed the adrenaline and the tears. "Gale?" she spoke to the solid black.

"I'm here Katniss. Nothing has changed. We are still here."

"How long? It isn't right to sleep while they make him shriek." Katniss feels her heart thump against her sternum in anger.

"I don't know for certain. I think I dozed off too. It has been several hours." He guesses, beings he has no markers for time measurement. "Staying awake won't save him. Worry, Tears. Hope, it is all beyond our ability to affect him. Besides, right now, we only have each other in darkness. You have to accept where you are to find a way out."

"I'm sorry I walked into this Gale. Haymitch never would have." Katniss feels so stupid.

"For the right bait, Haymitch would strap feathers to his butt and fly off a cliff, or try anyway."

This mental picture is vivid in the perfect black and she can't help but laugh. "I guess he would for a bottle of Ripper's mash."

"It would take a lot more than that. He'd do it for you though."

"If you had heard the things he called me a few hours ago, you would never believe that for a second." Katniss corrects him and reaches out to the place his voice had come from. Her hand bumps his and the sensation of his closing around her fingers, anchors her in comfort. As long as he's holding on to her, her fear feels a little less overwhelming.

"You are in love with him aren't you, Catnip?" His accusation is softened with the squeeze of her hand.

Somehow the darkness makes her feelings easier to put into perspective, and the danger they are in, makes it all matter less. She thinks about it carefully, not distracted by how his face may be saying a thousand other things. She wants to say it to someone. She wants to admit that his loss matters more than anyone but Gale could ever suspect. "I am in love with him. But I also love Finnick. I love Peeta so much it hurts. And…" she trails off.

"And?" he prompts. His voice has no judgment or jealousy in it; he just wants to hear what she wants to say.

"And I love you more than I can explain. I guess it makes me a terrible person, but I can't help how I feel about each of you. It's not that I can't pick one of you in some perfect world and be happy, but I can't unpick the rest and live with it either. If there was some possibly of a future with any of you, it might be a choice I could figure out. It isn't that anyone isn't worth loving. It's that my loves are all so incredible that there aren't any flaws that make one look like a lesser option."

"When you say it like that it actually makes me feel better." He says leaning forward slightly and pulling her hand to his chest.

"The other part is that if you look at my probable future, well before I got us into this mess, the chances are pretty slim that I really have one. I mean it was better odds than this, but my face isn't just a billboard for the rebels. It's a big target. This proves it. I mean, not only is the enemy ready to kill me off to make the rebels lose hope or just to prove they can. Hell, even the ones who fight with us are just using me. I am the most disposable person in all of Panem except to maybe ten people total. I have four who would walk in front of a firing squad to try to save me. How do I not love every one of them? How do I pick one and say the rest are just not as important to me?"

"I can't believe that makes sense." He kisses her hand. "You stepped in front of a whip for me."

"Haymitch is the one who stopped it. I just did something stupid and he stepped forward, risking everything to outwit them. I mean my gesture, if I had been nobody, would have just gotten me strapped up there bleeding with you. Haymitch too. I loved so many people that night, but only poor Darius stepped forward. He was the only one who thought enough of you to step up and say a word."

"Fat lot of good it did him. Haymitch told me what they did to poor Darius. I'd rather be dead than that." Gale says quietly.

" How screwed up were they all, that they stood watching you die without a whimper? I mean I am so sad they are gone, but there were twelve hundred people standing there and one peackeeper with a whip and twenty of them with guns, and not one person even questioned what they did to you. Much less tried to help you. No. Only an outsider even tried. How fucked up is that Gale? You fed them and helped everyone. You are related to some of them. Family Gale. That is supposed to mean something, isn't it? I guess it bothered me because it could have been me there just as easily."

"I never looked at it like that. It just never occurred to me. But you came. I guess that means something pretty big. Thank you."

"And Haymitch… and Gale, even Peeta. I mean, I know it was for me on his part, but still. I talked to Haymitch one night. He said he'd seen it before. He said there wasn't a person alive who would bother for him. He said he envied you. I couldn't get the look in his eyes out of my head. He wanted me to say he was wrong and I didn't say anything. He won't ever know now. But, at least you won't not know."

"I was mad at you for it," he admits.

"I know. I was mad at you for jumping that guard in Deep13. But I carry it with me every day. Peeta and Haymitch love me enough to die for me just like you and Cinna did die to help me. How do I feel ashamed of what I have done with them or what I will do? There were other reasons at the time. It's really complicated." Katniss sighs.

"You're my best friend. We have time. I won't be mad or judge. Please let me understand? "

Katniss tells him, in the calm soothing voice she hears in her head. She speaks the way Cinna did. She explains why she picked Cinna. Peeta being such a gentleman makes Gale grumble. He laughs in disbelief at her experiment with Finnick and teases her about being way too fond of fish. He squeezes her hand and his breathing gets loud with fury as she told him about what happened the night before launch. He has to hold her while she cries a little. Then in wonder she has to hold him as he finally understands all the things she had been through.

Big strong Gale sobs in her arms. "Oh God I'm so sorry. Haymitch said be kind to you, that you'd had a bad time. I thought he meant Peeta. I thought Haymtch meant because you and he fought. Never thought that you had been…And I called it a vacation? You should have stabbed me with a spoon handle too. Shit, are you ok? I mean have you…"

"Had sex since I was raped?" she says directly.

"I'm sorry… I just.."

"Just with Cinna. Twenty minutes before they beat him until he died in front of me. I almost killed Finn I was so shaken. No. I haven't been with anyone since the arena."

"What about Haymitch? I mean I thought. The two of you act like you have."

That makes her cry. Finally she sits back. "No. I wanted him. He turned me down. But I bribed him in Deep 13 that if he would live…"

She didn't expect his laughter. Gale lost control of his hissing giggles sounding like a hurkey-jerky with a hole in it. "No wonder the old coot stuck around!" he roars.

Katniss sat in the dark, blushing horribly from the way her face felt hot. The dark had woven a spell on her. She had said too much and now he was laughing at her like he had about the lynx. "Yeah that's really fucking funny, except if he stayed alive just for that? We never did and now he's getting tortured and if they did for some reason let us live, Gale? You will have a great story to tell at my funeral."

The laughter stopped at once. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that once the baby is here I am going into combat. Cinna dead. Haymitch dead. Peeta probably dead. Mom and Prim will take care of the baby and I leave them in your care. I won't make it through the war, Gale. I knew it the second I agreed to be the Mockingjay. If they leave us here, we have what, three days left. Less with my shoelaces. But that little joke you just made, that he could have bled to death for me but wanted me so much that he fought to live only so he could go through who knows how long it's been in torture? On second thought, I hope it hurts, it wasn't so bad in the arena, but I was a long way from the end stage there. I almost wish I… " her mouth closed, refusing to say another word to him. She stood up and walked confidently into the door and slid down into the little cavity the door made.

"Katniss?" he says hesitantly. "I didn't mean it like that. I…I am sorry."

He hears the air exit her nose, still mad. "Me too…for telling you anything."

"Don't be like that?"

Silence.

"God, Katniss. I wasn't laughing at you. I was agreeing with him."

"Whatever, Gale. Funny though, you managed to get all my private business, and I just remembered you told me all your secrets were vaulted. You said we should talk and it's only me talking. One last trap just to prove you're superior. You win. Now just fuck off. I need a drink. I wish it was Haymitch in here because I wouldn't have lasted this damned long."

They sit without saying anything for a long time. Gale hears her fiddling with something and he doesn't know what to say. He flashes through all the things he'd meant to tell her, but now it seems useless.

There is a strange throat clearing sound then a heavy thump. "Shit." She says with anger.

"Are you ok?" he ventures. Fear slams in his heart and he crawls toward her. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" His fingers find the evidence around her neck.

"Exactly what they want me to! " She screams loudly, "I don't care OK? You all win! I am so stupid, just please stop hurting Haymitch? The shoelaces broke! Just fucking shoot me and get it over with. Gale didn't do anything. You have your martyr. I'll be any damned thing you want if you just tell me he's alive! Please, I will do anything you say. Just let them live. Please stop hurting people. Hand me to Snow. I don't care about me. Whatever you want, just…" she's sobbing again.

Gale tries to comfort her but she shoves him away. "Leave me alone."

There is no reply from the speaker. Nobody lights the room or drags her away. They are going to die in the dark and this is how they treat each other?

**_He felt his body divide itself into a hotness and a coldness, a softness and a hardness, a trembling and a not trembling, the two halves grinding one upon the other. (1.207-8) Fahrenheit 451_**

Fear hits anger and he stands up kicking the walls and blindly raging. "Just like that huh? Fuck you, Gale and I would be sitting here talking to a dead body? No soft words or any kiss goodbye, not even a goddamned word for me? Just like always Catnip? Here I am, watching you die? Left without a hope of saving you? You're just there one second and lightning strikes and you're gone? All because I felt like laughing? Here. This, right here, is why it was so damned funny, because I would live any pain too…just to be with you once. Just once. I'd do anything. And you never even fucking thought about me. Best joke anyone ever pulled, Catnip. Who says you don't know how to set a trap. Just because you think the jaws are empty, check for that tell-tale chewed off paw. It belongs to me."

"Oh stop. You act like you have pined away for me and we both know it's crap. You knew I was going in the games the second time and you had time for who knows who else, but you never thought about me either. "

"You never gave me a chance?"

" I gave you six months when I came home the first time. Everyone in the world thought I should be hog tied and dumped on the altar of Peeta and I broke his heart for you. I waited, scared every day and knowing I was taking a huge chance. I barely spoke to him, waiting for you to do something besides see if you could kiss me and then just let it hang in the air. Then I had to pretend again and if you could have seen how much he hated me for it, you would have gotten another big laugh. But, it wasn't all pretend. I loved him. But by then he didn't trust me to know the difference. So by the time I got home, I didn't know anymore. I knew what I had to do, to save you. I begged you to leave with me and you left me instead. I found you hanging from a post in pieces while they…Haymitch says silence is approval."

"It is also terror. He can be an ass, Catnip."

"Funny, he took your place as my best friend. But then you said you would help us train and I appreciated it so much. Maybe I don't know all the names, Gale, but they didn't all keep you a secret. Don't pretend you suffered for me. You were much too busy. Peeta has the excuse of being shy. What exactly is yours? If you love me so dearly, how was it I ended up having to stand naked, in front of Cinna Snow and beg him? You tell me how that works? Best friend?" Katniss could never say these cruel things to his face, but there was enough truth in them, that in the darkness, they flew around the room like bats, insanely targeting the tiny unseen things with lethal force.

"I do apologize for mistaking you for someone who deserved my respect. You want the names, sure it doesn't matter now. Katie Sams was my first. She used to meet me at the slag heap. And we did it in the bushes. Jemma Lawson, at her house after school on Wednesdays when her parents worked the extra time. There was the widow Cleetim, I called her Mully because she loved it when I brought her mulberries." His voice had started off so cold, but once he was saying the part about the mulberries, there was a different tone.

"Well that's just all romance. She was missing two teeth." Katniss hisses unable to help the trickle of jealousy, bleeding out her ears.

"By that time you were thirteen and boys and men in the Hob had started following you with their eyes. They stopped because I told them I was waiting on you to grow up and then I was going to marry you and if I ever found out that any of them even looked at you funny, Auntie Sae and I had special arrangements on the price of unwanted meat. Then Larra Donnel told me one day that if I brought her a rabbit that we couldn't sell every now and then that maybe she had a special way of thanking me. She did. Oh and Jezzi Arnold, taught me stuff I fantasized about doing for you one day. It's a big deal to a guy when he finds out that he's going to be able to keep his wife's eyes from wandering, because he knows how to make her the happiest woman in the world. That was around when you broke your ankle and as I carried you home. I had to keep telling myself that you were only fourteen. You didn't smell fourteen. I spent money and meat at the hob for a month after that. Alone with you in the woods, God Katniss, I watched you like you were already mine. I never imagined you didn't know why I kept my eyes on your face instead of… where they drifted behind your back. The day Prim was reaped, I just knew it was going to be me. I wanted to then, but then if I didn't come back it would have been so awful for you. But, it was you. And it was all I could do just to… I promised you. I'd take care of your Mom and Prim. Madge helped, but she wasn't you."

"Madge? Oh God," Katniss says as if nothing can surprise her now.

"Yes. The only name I worried about you finding out. None of the names mattered. None of them were you. But the last one did mess with me. She was your friend. I was your friend. I couldn't keep my hands off her and just for fair disclosure; she couldn't keep her hands off Bread boy of the pure kissing heart and soulful eyes. He has a list too, sweetheart. So I am not sure, but that says to me that maybe he loved you more decently than I gave him credit for. I thought you and he had taken care of any need for me to make offers. I was just a dirty coal miner to his victor glamor. I had lost you so, what difference did it make any more. Let's just say there have been a few since then. Here's the funny part for you Katniss, I let every one of them die. I didn't even love them, but I did care. So in the big picture, I have some thought of my own on loss."

Katniss felt sick. Not just at the size of his list or the fact Madge had been on it, but that she knew she had no right to be mad at him. It made her sick that she'd been so blind to him. Haymitch should have given Gale and Peeta lessons. Captain Obvious made himself very plain to Princess Unobservant.

Katniss heard his weight flop on the little cot. "Katniss? I'm so sorry."

**_The numbness will go away, he thought. It'll take time, but I'll do it, or Faber will do it for me. Someone somewhere will give me back the old face and the old hands the way they were. Even the smile, he thought, the old burnt-in smile, that's gone. I'm lost without it.-_** **_Fahrenheit 451_**

Katniss rose and slowly felt her way along the wall, bumping her shin against the bed. She snuggled down and gingerly rested her head on his shoulder; he didn't stir or move to give her room. "I'm sorry too. It wasn't our fault. Not really. If it weren't for the games, we might have had a chance. They killed us. They took our life. None of it matters."

His arms relax and then they softly enclose her. He leans over her and she can feel his breath on her face in the darkness, then his warm lips brush hers. She doesn't object so they hone into their target again, this time with more authority. There is no sight or sound, and it is said that when you lose one sense, the others become heightened. His lips made her forget they were in danger. For a moment, Haymitch was not screaming in her mind, Peeta was not crying in the capitol and her baby's life was not measured in hours.

**_"We're nothing more than dust jackets for books, of no significance otherwise." Fahrenheit 451_**

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><p><em>Thank you for reading. This took 14 hours to write, if you enjoyed reading it, please take 1 minute and review – even if you don't like to. Even If you don't have an account. I appreciate your opinion even if you don't know what the heck you are talking about! (that just means we have stuff in common –grin)<em>

_(Gale fans – please forgive me if I screwed him up in voice –he's very hard for me and I feel like he has both justified actions and things he should have explained if he really did want her – because they are in this terrible stress and unable to SEE any eye rolls or hurt expressions I played it that they spoke more candidly—so much of what we all say is gauged against the reactions we get on the face of others…I hope it works and let me know if you find him really OOC) _

_Oh and Bedight –for those of you not fluent in archaic English, means to dress or array in finery._


	13. Chapter 13

**Pleasure to burn - chapter thirteen**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn13  
><strong>Summary<strong>:_ Gale and Katniss lemony, but too dry for lemonade. _  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**:

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author note**: If you see a typo, please point it out – specifically.

* * *

><p><strong><em>The zipper displaces the button and a man lacks just that much time to think while dressing at dawn, a philosophical hour, and thus a melancholy hour.- Fahrenheit 451<em>**

Sleep, wake, talk, kiss, talk, worry, kiss, cry, can't cry and most of all the thirst has begun. They have begun to lose balance and feel like the room moves slightly. The darkness is playing on their mind. Time is only measured in the gradual increase in thirst and hunger. It is uncomfortable, but not yet misery and the one thing that is certain, is that nobody is coming to stop this. There will be no safe passage from this arena.

Gale's hands and lips roam. Katniss breaths heavily, drunk with his scent and taste. His hand moves to the buttons on the front of her pants and she jolts back to the reality of where they are. "Gale, stop." She kisses him to soften her words. "I can't. We can't. All I can think is they are hurting him. I can't be with you when he may be dead any second."

Gale groans, "Crap."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you're right. I never wanted it to be this way. I wanted it to be perfect. I wanted to be able to see you at minimum and maybe have had a shower.**" **he says with a chuckle.

"It isn't that I don't want to," she says.

"I know. I am thinking that this may be our only option. I am not going to have it much longer. I'm fine right now. But it's beginning, for me at least."

"God, how long has it been?" Katniss sits up and feels his skin.

"I don't know. I measured time by meals. I don't have a clock, but Katniss, I can't pee." He sighed and rolled off her.

"Well, strenuous physical activity isn't going to help," she hisses.

"I suppose. But it would be worth it," his voice is hoarse.

"Do you have a headache?"

"Blasting caps and coal dust on fire."

"There have to be water lines in. I mean even with water off, we might be able to…"

"I tried. You have to have a tool to unbolt it. I was trying to get something that I could use to chip the walls. Or attack a guard, anything. I can't get out of here. I'd drink the water from the toilet, if there was water in the toilet, instead of that powder stuff. I don't understand Katniss. Why just leave us like this? I mean if they wanted us dead, why not just poison us or cut out throats. They have a reason that they are doing this, but I'll be damned if I get it." Gale babbles.

"I don't know. Coin must be getting off on it or something," Katniss says.

"Which means they can see us. Even if we can't see. Because there are just better ways to kill people than this."

"Gale. If we are just entertainment for someone."

"I know. I made that leap too. It's possible they are teaching us a lesson, but I think it's the last arena."

"He has to be dead by now."

"I'm sorry." Gale put his arms around her again, not even trying to deny that he'd imagined Haymitch was long dead and they would never know one way or another.

She takes a deep breath. She blows it out deliberately. "Gale. I give up. I don't want to play. I don't want to watch…listen to you die second by second and then be saved at the last minute, to be the tame little Mockingjay."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying let's make it count, then we will just end the game." Her words come out slowly.

**_Don't ask for guarantees. And don't look to be saved in any one thing, person, machine, or library. Do your own bit of saving, and if you drown, at least die knowing you were headed for shore. – Fahrenheit 451_**

He strokes her back. He doesn't speak. His only answer comes when his dry chapped lips meet hers. "We don't have to end it after you know. It is mostly pain free. This right now is the hard part. By tomorrow, we will mostly want to sleep and we will dream. We will feel happy and just slip away. It may be days before we stop breathing, but we won't know any pain Catnip."

"How do you know?"

"My Grandmother. Only a year before the accident. I can't give you much Katniss, but I can give you that. I want to die hoping someone saves you," He whispers to her.

"Who is the boy full of sunshine now?" she teases, because he always complains about how annoyingly happy Peeta is.

"It's hard to imagine we won't see it again," he says quietly. "It's kind of a boring end. We should have gone out together fighting for freedom. Not like bugs trapped in the dark."

"I don't care."

"Then let me make love to you? Let me make you care just a little?"

She leans to him and he follows her breath to her lips. It is soft, gentle, but full of starvation and need. They both slowly shrug out of clothing for the other and lips touch skin, though they both are far from daisy fresh, none of it matters as much as the perceptions rousing in the dark.

Gale and Katniss. This was probably the only forever they would know. She takes her time before she allows her fingers to contemplate his sensitive offering. She giggles as she discovers the mass of curly hair.

"What? Is something funny?" he asks. He moves away and pulls her hand off him offended. No other girl had ever complained.

"Sorry. It's just. I have never been with someone who had hair, you know, down there. It's weird. And you have a lot of it," she snickers then puts her hand right back on the area.

"What do you mean? Everyone has hair down there. It isn't weird."

"Well we don't. Victors don't. They rip it out and then light-burn the roots. They touch up new growth every once in a while but eventually, we don't end up with any."

"Oh God. I just got a picture of saggy bald old victors." He makes a barfing sound then laughs out loud before suddenly sucking in his breath. "Catnip? Does that mean?"

"Of course it does. Here." She wiggles out of her pants and grasps his hand guiding it to her.

His fingers gently explore her. "Oh That is … God I wish I could see. But it's weird too. You're like a little girl and I wonder how sick they have to be to want this?"

"It's just fashion. It isn't about that. But it does make some activities more…pleasant." She sighs and stops speaking as his middle finger slips into her and he groans at how he has dreamed of her.

"I have thought about this so many times. Have you ever? I mean, did I ever cross your mind? Did you ever want me?" His voice is low, husky and full of need.

"What do you think? I have a hard time with all this, but I am a normal healthy girl … or as close as could be expected. I think about lots of things. I just didn't know how to make them go anyplace. I thought boys were supposed to be all aggressive and pushy. You never were, so I figured you … didn't think I was pretty enough."

"I would never have tried until I talked you into a toasting. I wanted you forever, not just for a romp. You know I was only waiting because it was my last reaping. I was afraid. I never feared it would be you. I had this dread that it was going to be me and I didn't want to make losing me hurt more. So I waited. I just wanted to make sure I could keep any promise I made you." His fingers have slowly been sliding in and out of her as he makes his confessions.

"I didn't care about it. I figured it wasn't worth thinking about until we both were safe. I didn't even think of it until I got back to the capitol and grasped I would never know anything. Snow offered some of them a deal. They had to hurt me before they killed me. I picked Cinna. I didn't think I cared about him. I don't know if I really was in love with him or if it was just a deep attraction to his kindness, but I ask him on the spur of the moment." Her voice takes on a note of melancholy.

"Can I ask? Why not Haymitch? There is more there than you admit. In Deep 13 there was no sorrow in his eyes, only you Catnip. His whole world was focused on you."

"He says. Gale, they made him… Haymitch is… Well one thing was that they would have castrated him publicly for fraternizing with a tribute. For him it would probably be fatal."

"I can see where that might put a damper on things." He decides not to ask any more questions. The answers don't seem to be helping his concentration.

He moves on top of her and presses himself against her. He likes her nether bald spot. It is delicious and unique in his experience. He positions himself and enters so painfully slowly that it is exquisite torture, but he only gets this first plunge once and he draws it out into something sacred. Finally pelvis to pelvis he holds this position imagining them in the woods, and the sun on her cheeks.

"Gale? Is everything ok?" she asks. She wiggles a little to kick start him.

"I'm in the woods. We are. You're beautiful. The sun is white hot and everything is alive and perfect."

It doesn't take long for them to find the path to paradise in each other. It is really a little embarrassing that they have so little distance to cover, but they have been leading each other here for years. The act isn't less fulfilling simply because release was upon them before either wanted. It is that very ease that can be expected by two hunters who can nearly read the others mind.

They lie in the darkness perfected by each other, breath stilling from the power of their need quenched. The thirst lingers like a presence in the dark, but neither has the heart to complain.

"Should we dress or die naked?" he whispers.

**_They crashed the front door and grabbed at a woman, though she was not running, she was not trying to escape. She was only standing, weaving from side to side, her eyes fixed upon a nothingness in the wall as if they had struck her a terrible blow upon the head. – Fahrenheit 451_**

She has no chance to respond before they are both startled by the blinding brilliance and pure confusion of twenty people entering the room as blurry shadows and disjointed orders are shouted. They scramble for cloths but the light is as choking to their vision as the dark had been. It seers the images and they cover eyes in pain rather than the parts exposed to the invaders.

"Katniss? It's Plutarch. Thank God we have found you." A familiar voice is close to her and Katniss tries desperately to slit her eyes and see him.

She is helped into her cloths as her eyes begin to accept that this is a rescue and her heart booms with relief that she and Gale will live. "Haymitch? Is he alive?"

"We are searching for him too, honey. We are doing all we can. There has been some trouble. Thirteen is a war zone. We have to move quickly. You're on a hot level."

"Who started it?" Gale demands as he steps into his pants without bothering to find his underwear.

"Well they started it but Finnick Odair answered them with an escape and a pretty grim message. We have been hunting for you for days. Sorry to have … interrupted, but—"

"Water. We need water," Katniss says, light headed from fear and sudden frenzied activity.

In a sound that filled the room from several commuicuffs at once, there was news broadcast. "Heavenbee? We found Abernathy."

Plutarch speaks shakily into his wrist. "Is he alive?"

Katniss holds her breath as the seconds tick by silently. Plutarch repeats his question. There is an answer but the static only allows part of the message to be understood. "…medics transporting… severe trauma…"

There is an explosion nearby and all attention is shifted to escape. "They blocked us in. They blew the exit," someone shouts from outside the room as the lights flicker and dim ominously.

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><p>Sorry I am slow on updates right now. My mother is ill and I am away from home caring for her. Thank you all so much for the reviews and alerts. I appreciate you all to no end.<p> 


	14. Chapter 14

**Pleasure to burn - Chapter Fourteen**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn14  
><strong>Summary<strong>:_ Gale and Katniss out of the frying pan into the fire. Haymitch causing trouble. _  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**:

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author note**: If you see a typo, please point it out – specifically.

* * *

><p>Katniss and Gale had no choice but to follow along as the damage to the tunnel was surveyed. The vapor lock door was bowed and sunk into rubble as tall as eye level. Plutarch had two men climb the mess carefully and shine light through the door cracks to see if it was worth digging it out.<p>

"No Good Commander. The other side is worse."

Plutarch frowns. He looks at his map laying it out carefully on a flat slab of fallen debris. "They have closed us off from our forces. Here's the problem. We can get out but Coin's territory is in this sector. We will emerge right in the center of her beehive. That could be as deadly as sitting here waiting for our guys to reach us."

"Are you saying we are fighting Coin? Isn't she in charge? Who is on our side?" Gale asks.

"Well, we have about 800 people from 12 along with about forty percent of her own people and most of the immigrant population. It seems our savior has made a lot of enemies among her own. And Deep13 wasn't just full of district 12 and capitol detainees. We discovered hundreds of people who had been turned into slaves. Some were criminals, but who cares if the scary bad guys are on our side. We have a pretty matched force. She was secretly arresting our prominent citizens, such as yourself and she claimed the Mockingjay had been spying for the capitol." Plutarch explains with a wry grin at Katniss thinking that was a fine joke considering what had been done to her by her supposed allies.

"What? How could anyone believe—" Gales voice is dry and his eyes are fiery red. Katniss sips water trying not to be greedy and handing the bottle to Gale.

"Oh she claims you have allegiance to Snow because you carry his grandchild." Plutarch says.

"I do carry his grandchild," she says softly.

"Yes, Major Odair explained your situation right after he escaped and blew up her office. She didn't happen to be in it at the time, but it was an act of war and we sealed off what we could and have been pushing them into smaller quarters ever since."

"So, not only are we in the middle of war with the capitol, we are now fighting the people who welcomed us here?" Katniss asks aghast.

"Yes. There have been quite a few problems since the beginning. They came to a head three days ago when you, Hawthorne and Odair couldn't be located. When Abernathy vanished we began taking steps to secure our objectives?" Plutarch sniffs his nose punctuating his meaning.

"Haymitch was tortured?" Katniss' voice breaks.

"We don't know. I know they will do whatever they can for him. He's a tough old bird, Katniss. I have known him a long time and he's….well It's none of my business what's between you and him, but he's never been stronger. Since your games he's worked miracles. Right now I need you focused on getting out of here safely. I damned sure don't want to be the one to tell him I lost you. You sure you're up to moving?"

"I'd feel better if I had a weapon."

Plutarch smiles. "Well that's our downside. We didn't get the ordinance bunkers and we can give you all the rifles you could want, but unless you plan to hit them on the head with it, you're wasting your time."

"So we're going into this like lambs to slaughter?" Gale says looking over Plutarch's shoulder.

"Hey we got here. This is one hell of a team.."

"No, I don't mean it like that. Look these vent shafts are like a whole other highway. You have to get past the rotating veins but Nicky Mellark and I have been all over in these things. Look down two levels and just by this lock, there is no security in here. It isn't easy – but it's sure safer." Gale offers.

"Why have you been in the shafts?" Plutarch asks.

"I can only be in the mine so long every day. I go out. Surface. Most every night actually." He casts a guilty look at Katniss, having never invited her.

"But the angle…"

"There are holds. They are covered with lint and dirt, but if you know where to look, they are just covered in a hundred years of dust bunny. No need to fight when you have such bad odds and can live to fight a better battle. Pick your ground. Never on their terms." Gale says soft and far away.

Plutarch looks around. "We'll try it."

It took hours. The going was slow and filthy. Those who were the trailing climbers were literally so miserable coughing and trying to see in the falling grime that they almost wished for battle. The grit fell with every movement. Those with goggles have some advantage but by the time they emerged into their own defense zone, getting the itchy pollen ridden substance off was a first priority. Katniss hit the shower like her skin was on fire. She shrugged into the baggy offered clothing and rushed still wet and barefooted to her mother.

_**We have our fingers in the dyke. Hold steady. Don't let the torrent of melancholy and drear philosophy drown our world. We depend on you. I don't think you realize how important you are, to our happy world as it stands now. - Fahrenheit 451**_

"Haymitch?" she said grabbing her arm, nearly passing out with exertion and dehydration.

"Oh God, Katniss. We have been so worried. He's been asking for you." Her mother has tears in her eyes but quickly leads her to his room without any unkind comments.

"He's alive?" she asks wanting more than a yes or no.

"He is. But you better prepare yourself. It looks much worse than it is."

She didn't listen to anymore, she heard him. "Haymitch?" she shouts, running.

He is restrained and screaming her name like a wild animal. His face is swollen and shocking. His chest wound has soaked through his bandages but still he rages and struggles against the restraints like a lunatic. But she doesn't hesitate; she piles into the bed with him and butt in the air like a little kid, tries to find something to hug that is not bandaged. "I'm here. It's ok. Haymitch?" she can't hold back her tears as he looks at her eyes, desolate and blinking at her in disbelief.

"You're alive? Thank tommyknockers and sprites. Sweetheart? Let me see you. Are you ok?" his voice is hoarse and raspy.

She sits up on her knees and heels in his bed and nods. "They hurt you?" Her face crumples as she looks at the bandages.

"A bit. Little uglier. But here." He looks at her and smiles. His breath comes in rough gasps and he's shaking in his attempt to shift gears from insanity to mentor. His eyes roam over her in relief and he makes indistinguishable sounds that she matches as they both try to accept the other is alive.

She doesn't wait for him to say more. She leans over him knees at his side and arms braced on either side of his head before she presses her lips to his. It isn't a sweet kiss. It is filled with demanding passion. She sits back horrified and breath coming hard.

"What was that for, sweetheart?" he says cracked lips smiling.

"I thought you were dead. I thought. You need to get better." She says eyes darting all over him.

"Well it wasn't my idea to get headed off track here."

"Why were you screaming?"

"They told me it was over. I thought they meant. You weren't here and… I'm a little crazy I guess," He says embarrassed.

"But you're ok now?"

"I'll be just fine. Now." His eyes bore into hers.

"Don't get all freaky here but, a few hours ago, I wasn't very convinced I would ever see you again and.. I never told you. I love you." The last words are just a whisper and she has to look away to get them out.

"Oh, you just like having me tied up." He teases, tears marching down his cheeks ignored like rude children.

"Funny, I do actually. Because, you can't stop me. I have my own ideas of torture." She says letting her hand fall on his thigh and crawl upward suggestively.

His face grows serious. "Katniss, no."

She smiles. "Really? You don't have much choice here. What you get for being a naughty boy and needing to be restrained."

"Please, sweetheart. When I'm better." He drops his eyes.

She pulls her hand back for a second and studies his face. Without warning she flings his covers aside. She looks down and all she can say is, "Oh God." She looks at him and replaces the covers and very carefully she puts her head on his chest and tries to breath and swallow and deal with what she just saw. She fumbles for his restraints and still can't say anything as his arms slide around her. "W…why. Oh God."

"It's ok sweetheart. It's fixable. Had worse actually. They had to ramp up their fun on me a bit. If you're that desperate, I assure you. I have very nimble fingers." He whispers the last part to her and buries his face in her hair. He inhales her deeply.

"I'm sorry. They said they were going to…to death. How did you live?"

"I wish I could say skill or fortitude. But the truth is, I gave up. They showed me you hanging yourself in the dark. For me, they said. Told me you were dead. You carry my last link to Cinna. I just gave up, sweetheart, and then I woke up here. What did they do to you and Hawthorne?"

"No water or food," she says.

"Katniss. The baby. Get your mother. Now."

It was frowned upon and the gossip began to immediately fly, but Katniss was admitted and shared Haymitch's room. Gale was the first to arrive, just as she was settled and sporting two IV drips and being monitored with some contraption. He looked in the room, confused and exhausted. He sat in the guest chair waiting for the bustle to die down and only when a nurse couldn't wake him was he too admitted. Katniss and Haymitch insisted he be in the room with them and so once again the room was commotion and chaos.

Finnick's entrance lead to further activity and once Plutarch, Beetee and Prim arrived, the crowded room was pandemonium. Hospital procedures became shambles and finally a loud whistle gained the attention of all. Mrs. Everdeen stood glowering at the group. "If you do not need to be here, kindly take your leave. This is a hospital, not a bar."

The quiet settled in the room. She ate spinach and creamy potatos. Katniss looked over at Haymitch. "I slept with Gale," she says wondering how he will react. Her eyes bounce onto Gale's sleeping form and then back to her mentor's. There is guilt in her eyes.

His eyebrows raise but he shakes his head as if it is no surprise. "What do you want me to say about that, sweetheart? Want me to be jealous?"

Katniss laughs. She pushes the button to lift the head of her bed. "Maybe. Just a little. Are you?"

Haymitch throws his head back and laughs. "Maybe. Only because I can't right now."

"I couldn't while I thought they were hurting you. But once I accepted that you had to be dead and that we would be soon. Plutarch rescued us like three minutes after. We had been in the dark so long, we couldn't even. God, they had to help us dress. The light was horrible," Katniss explains.

"How was he?"

Katniss blushes. "It was fine."

"Don't you dare marry him until a bit after I'm well. I have plans for my pretty bird," Haymitch orders eyes twinkling.

Katniss opens her eyes wide. "I am not going to marry any of you. I'm keeping all of you."

Haymitch snorts his nose and rolls his eyes. "Selfish, greedy little bitch."

"Just like my mentor."

He glares at her and she waits with just the hint of a smile for his comeback. He wipes his face and looks at her for a long moment. "Whatever you do, don't leave me, sweetheart. I'm nothing, if you die."

She looks away. She's not used to him saying such things so openly. She nods and under her breath just manages to admit, "Me too, Hay. It pisses me off that I'm so weak."

"No. We make each other," he shakes his head and shifts himself to turn her way, "Better. You make all this shit matter and I don't think it really is weakness. Not for me."

"But I fell apart. I'm useless. I just walked into the trap and would've done anything, right or wrong, to make them stop hurting you. I'm sorry I let you down." Katniss' face is sharp with disgust.

"Don't you ever say that. You've never let me down. I'm the one who let Peeta get captured. They're all suffering because of me. I put you in this position. I put you in this danger and I deserve every bit of this." He gestures to his injuries.

"Don't be stupid. Peeta and I both would be dead right now. Finn might have made it. He was meant to win. The rest of us would be long gone. If you hadn't tried at all, you'd be passed out after having to give that speech you do for your tributes funerals every year. You'd be heading to the Hob right now to look for trouble or off sporting until someone beat you up. You did it every year. Darius used to say you would be found desiccated like pickled leather someday."

Haymitch nodded. "No. That was just a little fun. I always knew I'd die in the Capitol. They'd either execute me or sell me to someone like Cinna used to be. Either way, I'd die screaming. I wondered if I did all this to save you and Peeta or just myself."

"You never did anything for yourself." She looks at him and sighs. "That isn't who you are. That's just who you pretend to be. Only fools can't see past all your fake mean."

"Until this. I didn't see past it?" He winks at her.

"Foolish old fart." She lays her head back but keeps meeting his gaze. She lets her face soften and the corners of her mouth lift slightly. She releases a huge sigh that conveys relief and contentment that no matter what, as long as Haymitch is around to help her, there is hope in her world.

"Try to rest. We have work to do. Need to get this mess under control so we can go get that boy of yours." He closes his eyes as he speaks.

Pain crosses her face. "Do you think he's still alive?"

"I have no doubt of any kind. They wouldn't kill him without putting his death on display. They would want to make us suffer. Trust me. He may be in a world of shit, but he's still alive."

_**"Why is it," he said, one time, at the subway entrance, "I feel I've known you so many years?"**_  
><em><strong>"Because I like you," she said, "and I don't want anything from you." <strong>_  
><em><strong>― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451<strong>_

A day and a half later, Katniss and Gale were dismissed. Haymitch, trussed up like a mummy and being wheeled carefully by an attendant could be found in the makeshift command center that had served as hospital visitor lounge days before. Finnick Odair wore a grim face as he explained positions to Gale and Haymitch.

During a break in strategy Finn slid his arms around Katniss from behind. He pulled her to him and she pretended irritation. "I thought you were done with the crazy routine, Finn? I like your uniform though. Never seen you in so many cloths."

He chuckles in her ear and whispers, "Bet you could get me out of them if you talked your mom into slipping you a little sedative you could sneak into my coffee." He pulled her braid aside and kisses her neck.

"I bet I could get you out of them without it too." She shivers a little at his breath on her skin. "Thanks for saving me."

"Mmmmph. You owe me now, Mockingjay," He whispers seductively.

She turns and glares at him, raising an eyebrow. "I already molested you. I would think we were even."

"No fair. I had to watch the replay. This time, I get to play too."

"Pretty confident the answer would be yes? Maybe I don't like Fish."

"Play coy all you want, baby. I have a whole pond of them at my townhouse. Coy are tame little fish and you already proved you like a little seafood in your diet. Or is your dance card all filled up with tall, dark and stealthy over there? I know Haymitch is out of commission for a while. Sucks to be him," Finnick asks with calm serious intent.

"Not full. Just not available on demand either," she says firmly.

Finn steps away and she turns to look at him. His jaw works as if he's angry. "Whatever." He shrugs and looks at her with cold eyes.

"Finn? What…"

"Forget it. Just joking around." He smirks and walks away just as Gale walks up glowering in his direction.

"You see past that ass-candy jerk don't you Catnip?" Gale asks, arms crossed in disapproval.

She turns and looks at him with a sigh. "You'd like him if you got to know him," she says with careful modulation.

"No. I wouldn't. He's a user. He's not real and I don't trust him." Gale tilts his head appraising the impact of his words on her.

Her head drops slightly as her eyes meet his. "Please tell me you're not going to get all possessive."

Gale sucks a breath in and holds it for a second. "My mistake. Thought it meant something." He tries to brush by her but she moves into his path.

"It did. It meant a lot, but it—"

"No. Don't. I am not playing Katniss roulette. The competition is playing by different rules than me. I told you my game. You get yours settled? Let me know," he says, teeth clenched in anger. He turns the other way not letting her say anymore.

_**[Fire's] real beauty is that it destroys responsibility and consequences. A problem gets too burdensome, then into the furnace with it. - Fahrenheit 451**_

She sighs and flops down in a corner in frustration. She peeks over at Haymitch. His eyes flick away from her but there is a wry curl to the corners of his lips. She stands up and leaves, not sure where she's headed. She just wants a moment alone. Life is too complicated for all this crap. She ducks into a dark storage closet and closes the door softly. Her head rests on the door as she quietly engages the lock.

The snuffle behind her sends chills up her spine. She turns in fear and fumbles for a light switch. Before she finds it a familiar voice growls, "Can't you just leave me alone?"

"Finnick?" she says into the blackness. Her hand closes on the switch and she flicks the tiny room into brilliance.

"Get out Katniss," he says with hatred.

Her eyes fall on him and her mouth opens, but no sound escapes. Finn is shirtless and splayed sideways on the floor, leaning on a pile of filthy rags. His arm is extended and he is shuddering as his eyes roll into his head. The needle in his arm is grasped in his hand as he desperately tries to finish pushing the plunger. She doesn't know what he's doing but her instincts sense danger and she lunges at him knocking the syringe from his hand and kicking it away.

"What the hell are you doing?" She grabs him by the shoulders and looks in his face.

"Fuck. You Bitch!" he hisses.

"Finnick. What –" there is a scramble for the spinning needle. Katniss reaches it first and stands up holding it high. "What are you doing?" she repeats in terror.

"Give it back. I'm not finished. And what difference does it make to you?"

Angry, Katniss breaks the needle off and tosses the pieces at him. "There. Are you some kind of addict?"

Finnick laughs halfheartedly and picks up the broken plunger. "Dammit. Damned you. What do you want? How did you know I was here?"

Katniss steps toward him not taking her eyes off him. "Finn, I'm scared. Please. What does this mean? I'm stupid. Is this about you and me?"

"Poseidon's balls." He says less angry, but now annoyed. "You and me?" he snorts, "You might want to check that ego Mockingjay. You're nothing to me."

The words hurt her feelings but she still doesn't understand. "I am so something to you. I'm your friend."

"I don't have any."

"Ok? Then what was all that dance card crap out there, then here you are…like this? Favor my big ego with some wisdom or I'm getting Haymitch. He'll know what's going on here. He's not your friend either I suppose?"

Finn's eyes lock on her, more clear and pleading. "Don't get Haymitch. Please. This would hurt him. Please Katniss. Please."

She sits there for a minute and then blurts, "You were trying to kill yourself, weren't you?"

He nods, eyes dropping to his hands.

"Why? Finnick. You want sex and because someone turns you down you sneak off to die?"

"Don't be ridiculous. Had nothing to do with that. Sex is just a way to hold on for a few minutes. Not about you or getting turned down. I was just. I was..I don't know. Done and you were there and…I don't know. I can't look at him. What they did to him. I can't survive them doing that shit to her. It's worse in the capitol. At night I hear her screaming. I don't sleep. I wish she were dead. If I was, she'd know and …" he looks at the ceiling. "It's the only way I can think of to save her, Katniss. She will know I'm dead, and it will break her heart and then they can't hurt her anymore. You owe me. Kill me. Save her."

"You don't know what you're saying. I have to get Haymitch."

"No. They will lock me up again. No. I'll break you in half if you try it." He clamps his hand on her arm and his eyes are forceful with livid passion. He pulls her down to him and grins as he clamps his mouth to hers. She struggles fearfully but his arms are like iron.

"Finnick no." It comes out as a whimper, abysmal and helpless.

He looks at her and seems to realize what he's doing. "I'd never hurt you." He releases her and sighs in despair.

She scrambles away from him and gathers her thoughts watching him. He makes no move to stop her if she wants to leave now. "I don't mean no ever. Just no like that. And like this. Finn what can I do? I can't let you. She will be ok. Haymitch says Peeta is alive. If he is, he will protect her all he can. That's who he is. He can't even help it. You only need to worry about her if Peeta's dead. He'll make them hurt him instead, no matter what they do. He'll take it and make them. I swear on my life he will help her."

"No he won't. He doesn't even know her."

"But he knows you. He owes you. He won't let you down. You do have friends. I think Johanna likes you too."

"Jo will help her too. For me." He nods.

"See? And what could we say to her if they rescue them and you…did this?"

"I'm sorry."

Katniss waits. "I don't think that would be enough, Finn."

Katniss helps Finn to his quarters and tucks him in bed. She sits on the edge of his bed and lets her fingers make gentle movement on his back as he weeps into his pillow. She feels like she is sitting with a little boy and as he curls around her knee and quietly shudders; she finds comforting him isn't even uncomfortable. It just feels right. She remembers when he held her during her worst moments the night before the launch and it doesn't bother her to see him in pain. Somehow it makes her like him more that he trusts her enough to let her be there for him.

Finnick sleeps. Katniss just sits there looking at him. She is too afraid that whatever he took will finish the job he started and she counts his breaths and his pulse to make sure neither slows to the point she really will have to tattle on him. She isn't sure keeping this a secret is the right thing to do, but after her own ordeal, and how she reacted, she doesn't feel qualified to be very judgmental.

If Gale hadn't been mad. If Haymitch hadn't been wearing that smile proclaiming sarcasm ahead, there would be tears right now. This beautiful man would probably have slipped away from them. All her life she'd seen his face as the most glamorous of all people and yet the person she knew was so far away from that image. What kind of end would it be to have found him overdosed in a pile of dirty rags? Gale was wrong about him.

Haymitch would have never forgiven himself. She would stand at his casket blaming herself, wondering if she her rejection had been his tipping of the bucket. Not her fault, but a pebble in the pile. Tears welled and escaped as her mind made up these images for her to scrutinize.

That Capitol version of him is as fake as her Mockingjay, but no egotistical phony would choose to die in a pile of rags thinking they didn't have one fucking friend. That was the real man. That pathetic pitiful sweet being was her friend. Katniss played with his hair as she contemplated that loving things inescapably will always mean you are in danger of pain when they get hurt or are lost forever.

Finnick could hurt her. That means she loves him too. "Not just because you're pretty either, dumbass," she whispers with a smile.

**_Montag has traded indifference for passion. He wants to bring back the days when books were acceptable parts of society. He forms a crazy plan to bring down the firemen establishment so that books can be brought back again. In his frenzy, he no longer cares if he dies because it's worth it to him to die trying to save books. - _Fahrenheit 451**

A knock sounds on the door. "Hey Odair! Abernathy wants to know if your boinking his Mockingjay!"

Katniss growls as she flings open the door. "Tell Haymitch yes. Tell him there is a capitol party going on here and The Mockingjay requests his burnt old ass to come direct the activity!"

* * *

><p>Again, updates will be slow for a while. Thanks for hanging in there!<p> 


	15. Chapter 15

**Pleasure to burn - Chapter Fifteen**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn15  
><strong>Summary<strong>:_ Getting her goat. Haymitch manipulates while Finn discovers and Katniss makes a new goat story. _  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Haymitch/Katniss/Finnick

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Author note**: **kelliewhitlocktownsend23 My 100****th**** review on P2B thank you all, I appreciate your following! XXOO from Finnick Odair**

* * *

><p>"<em><strong>With school turning out more runners, jumpers, racers, tinkerers, grabbers, snatchers, fliers, and swimmers instead of examiners, critics, knowers, and imaginative creators, the word 'intellectual,' of course, became the swear word it deserved to be."<br>― Ray Bradbury, **__**Fahrenheit 451**_

Katniss would have slammed the door in Nick Mellark's face if it wouldn't have disturbed Finnick. He and his two companions had been snickering as she opened the door. "And then when you report your, no doubt even more exaggerated version to your vent shaft buddy, be sure to see if you can't embellish it so he never speaks to me again. Tell them both, I will boink whoever it pleases me to. And seriously Nicky, I would think you might have worries a little bigger. I guess I will have to go save your brother and Odair's true love from the capitol myself, because nobody else seems to give a damned that he could be dying while you snicker and make jokes appropriate for twelve year olds. "

The smirks are wiped off everyone's faces. "Katniss. I'm sorry. I didn't expect you to actually be here. I didn't…" Nick Mellark blushes and his resemblance to Peeta breaks her heart.

"No you didn't. Now go. " Katniss closed the door softly. She turned to see Finnick's eyes open and a smile on his face.

"I'm sorry. I was hoping you'd sleep."

"I feel amazing. How long was I out?" Finn asks, stretching and shivering at his muscles joy at some rest.

"Only six or seven hours."

"Only? I haven't slept at all since The Quell. Even sedated, I'm not fully asleep. I was at the 'seeing shadows' stage. Used to get me in trouble in the capitol."

"Kind of got you in trouble here too." Katniss says shoving her hands in her pocket and looking at the floor.

"mmmm. Yeah. You been here the whole time?"

She shrugs and nods.

"Why'd you stay?"

She takes a deep breath before speaking. She looks around trying to figure out how to say what she wants to."When I was little, all the girls at school had you on their trading cards. You were the one they all wanted." She grins, and can't help but shift her weight a bit at the memory. "I couldn't afford them. There were about a hundred Haymitchs sold for every Finnick. Chaff, Seeder, Brutus. Lots of them. People didn't want Haymitch. Especially not in our district. Everybody wanted you. You were rare. My sister wanted an Odair too. I couldn't buy them, but sometimes people would throw them away. They would open the package and only keep the ones they wanted. I took the unwanted ones home to her. To Prim. I guess she had a collection of about five hundred by the time I realized I'd never get her one of you. I looked at her endless Haymitchs and I knew the real scummy pukefest, so the cards seemed stupid and fake."

She crosses the room and sits on the edge of his bed, her hand reaches out and cups his cheek as her eyes narrow. "One day a girl from my district, the mayor's daughter, my friend, she got one she had already. It wasn't your best one, just the one of you in that toga. But I knew it would be special to Prim. Madge traded me a season of autumn olive-cherries for it. They are these sour little red berries full of seeds, but she liked them. They are good for coughs and her mother coughed all the time. It was a good deal. I took her about twenty pounds of them just one afternoon. I took it home to Prim. But I looked at it."

"And you fell madly in love with me?" Finn says with a smirk. She adjusts her place, tucking one leg under herself. She sits daintily on the edge fiddling with the decorative bumps on the fabric of his spread.

"No." Katniss shakes her head. Finn covers her hand with his and grins back like he doesn't believe her. "I wondered if that picture of you was like Haymitch's. He looked nice on his cards and he was a jerk. So I figured you were too. There was something ugly about you. I mean you are pretty, but it was something in your eyes that looked like a trapped vicious injured animal."

He laughs and squeezes her hand. "Smart girl."

"When I met you, you were a jerk. It didn't surprise me. I tried really hard not to like you at all. That picture in my head. Never trust a hurt critter, they will tear you apart. They may look pitiful, but the best way to deal with them is kill them fast, before they bite. Prim has a way with them, but not me."

"Your sister is a sweet girl. She took care of me some. She's a little firecracker," he says looking a little embarrassed.

"She's braver then me about some things. With you, sometimes there was this other person. I couldn't see him very well, but he kept popping up. That night I came to your room. He was there and so in pain. That guy on the roof. That's who I …molested. I trusted a hurt critter, and wanted to help him. I don't know how to explain it. It wasn't The Finnick Odair that I did that too. There was this scared boy who needed..I don't know. I wanted to see you, feel better. That's all. I liked doing that for him but I was so embarrassed and it was … it didn't look how I meant it. It looked like I was doing something wrong and if I had … I don't know how to say this." Her brow furrows and she nervously scratches her eye and sighs.

"Katniss? No joking here? It surprised me that was all you did. Anyone else would have fucked me. Hurt me more than likely. Most of them did hurt me if I was that out of bounds. You floated my boat and then you left. I've never ever had that happen. You didn't do anything for you and I watched it many times by the way. You were gentle with me. Why didn't you satisfy yourself?"

"What? Use you like a thing. You aren't a plug in toy Finn."

He snorts and his eyes grow distant. "Actually that's exactly what I am. Never been anything else. To anyone. Not even Haymitch. Even Annie started off using me, being kind to get sponsors for her co-tribute. She hated my guts. Probably should have let it stay that way. Love kills. At least for victors."

"Kind of. See right now. This guy? That's who I care about. This guy who held me in the elevator and saved Peeta. You let me see him sometimes and for me, that's the part I know I would have cried for if you…If something bad happened to you."

"He wasn't here yesterday, baby, but you stayed."

"He was here."

"No. Calling you names, threatening to hurt you, trying to force you? Not anyone worth caring about there."

"Just because an injured goat kicks a little doesn't mean it has to be butchered. Sometimes they are just hurting. If you distract them with some flowers while you sew them up, milk lasts longer than meat."

He looks at her perplexed. "I have no idea what you just said."

She sighs hopelessly.

"I'm sorry. Can you just say it in plain terms? I don't know much about Goats. Nothing in fact."

"You're the goat." Katniss widens her eyes as if that explains.

He smiles. He hesitates then says, "Thank you?"

"Whew. You're pretty but I was worried you weren't so smart." she says relieved and blushing. "So is that something that would help?"

"Katniss." He is searching her face and has no idea how to respond.

"I mean I want to too. I'm not intending it to be like the first time. And it's because I love you, but like a friend. Not like Cinna, or Peeta, or Haymitch, or …or Gale."

"Wait. I need to back up here. Katniss, I'm lost."

Katniss stops speaking and looks at him like he may be getting sick. Her eyes scrunch as if she's taking his temperature. "How did you ever seduce anybody? You don't know anything about sex. I can't be more plain here?"

"Are we talking about sex? Right now?"

"Of course we are. What the hell do you think I was saying?"

Finn sighed. "Goat killing and collector cards?"

"Well this will be fun. I never dated a dumb guy before." She says in perfect horrified shock.

"Are you asking me to date you?" he asks as if she's lost her mind.

"Tommyknocker's nadds no. Finn I was asking if you want to have sex with me but stay friends and not let it jump the shaft and crumble into falling for each other." Katniss waves her arms as she speaks in exasperation.

He opens his mouth to speak and seems to just crumple into silly giggles instead.

Katniss stands up and without another word, face livid she heads for the door.

"Katniss wait," he calls trying to get control of himself.

"I was just trying to help. You didn't have to laugh at me." She slams the door so loud it rattles the wall.

"_**He says I'm a regular onion! I keep him busy peeling away the layers." ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451**_

Finn is on his feet at once. He picks up a shirt and throws it on, not bothering to button it. He calls after her. "I don't mean it like that, baby!" He stops as all eyes in the corridor turn toward him, grinning at the lovers spat they imagine they are seeing. People turn to him and glare or shake their heads. She rounds the corner. He walks after her trying to button his shirt with little luck. He trails after her, bare foot and rumpled, without quite breaking into a jog. He bumps into a woman and apologizes.

He turns the corner and nearly slams into the electric chair and Katniss crumpled in front of it. Haymitch glowers up at him, taking in his half-dressed state and growls in his throaty dangerous voice. "I take it you are responsible for this? You better start explaining and it better be good."

"I didn't do anything. I didn't even know what she was talking about!"

Haymitch looks daggers at him. "Well how kinky could it have been, that you couldn't play along til you figured it out?"

"I don't know anything about Goats! I don't think I have ever even actually seen one in person!" Finn justifies without the slightest notice of the looks this information procures.

That shocks Haymitch into a horrified hitch of his breath. "Goats? Good lord, sweetheart." Eyes wide, he bends his head to Katniss but his eyes take in the fact that all movement in the hallway has ceased. Haymitch glares at the onlookers then low and firmly says, "I think we better sort this out a little more privately. Come on you two."

Katniss and Finnick follow Haymitch in his whirring little chair and every eyeball in the hallway follows the three of them back to Finnick's room.

Haymitch wheels the chair around so fast it tilts onto two wheels for a split second. "Close that door," he snaps. "Ok. Explain Goats, Katniss? What makes you think you want to have sex with a goat and please note, that is pushing even my realm of rather extensive boundaries."

Katniss glares at Finnick. "I don't want to have sex with a goat. It would be redundant to ever be with you then, Haymitch. I offered to have sex with him and he laughed at me." She punctuated the him with her palm indicating Finnick.

Haymitch smirks. "Well you didn't offer the first time. You just had your way with him while he was out of commission. Kind of closing the shed door after the goat's gone, don't you think? Maybe that's what he was laughing about."

"No, I went through this whole thing because of what happened and he is just too stupid to … and then he thought it was funny …" she stops, too angry and ashamed to say more.

Haymitch turns to Finnick, eyebrow raised. "What happened, that the two of you disappear all this time and are just now getting around to the details?"

Finnick and Katniss both drop their eyes and neither says a word.

Haymitch turns from brilliant red to furious purple. "Finnick. Are you up to your old shit again? Did you try to make another of your grand exits?"

Finnick takes a deep sigh and shrugs. "So what." He finally meets Haymitch's eyes.

Haymitch's lips tighten. "Katniss. From the beginning please." His voice is deceased calm, but his grey eyes don't leave Finnick.

She looks at Finnick for permission. He glances at her and shrugs one shoulder that he doesn't care. He flops onto his bed and stares at the ceiling as Katniss sits in a chair facing Haymitch. She tells him what happened, editing most of the references to Haymitch out, and Haymitch listens carefully. "You have anything to drink around here, Finnick?"

Finn smirks. "Actually I do, Hot Rocks. Before the big bang, there was a nice little black market set up if you knew the secret knock and a code word."

"And, as always, you shared this information with your friends?"

Finn gets up and pulls out an IV bag that looks like saline solution. "Have a snort?"

"Nice. And what did this cost you, sweetheart?"

"No goats were harmed in the making of this trade." Finnick says as he unstops the tubing and lets the tiny stream dribble into three glasses. He carefully clicks the clamp and lays the bag on the table offering glasses to each.

Haymitch sniffs it and makes a face. "It isn't grain, is it?"

"Pretty close." Finn says and slugs his down in one gulp with a shudder afterwards.

"Wonderful. About the only thing I have working at the moment is my eyes" Haymitch slugs his down and makes a face. "Are. You sure about the goats? Maybe not harmed, but collected from, for certain."

Katniss frowns and drinks hers gaging. "You guys are sick."

"Not Goat sick, sweetheart."

"Haymitch. Shut up. I never said that. He's a box of rocks. I said that wounded animals were dangerous. I said that just because a Goat kicks you, it doesn't mean it has to be butchered. If you distract it with flowers while you sew it up you can have the milk a long time, instead of just the meat. He couldn't understand I was not talking about an actual Goat! I mean is that really so hard to figure out? I came right out and said it too. That was when he laughed"

"That's very sweet of you Katniss. I'm overwhelmed that you would offer that. I will have to rethink my selfish view of you a bit perhaps." Haymitch says shaking his head in surprise and no sarcasm dancing in his expression.

Finnick looks from one to the other. "So you're saying she isn't talking about goats? What part?"

Haymitch shares a look of pity with Katniss. "Well Finn, You are the goat of course. Katniss is obviously the flower, a lovely delicate white one shaped like an arrowhead actually, and the milk? How did I mentor such a bumpkin? I am shocked you survived all these years, in our profession. The milk means she hoped the pleasure of her company would, over time, help you not want to die. She offered to be a small distraction from your pain. She has offered you the deepest gift she can. Remember she isn't like us. And you laughed at her?" Haymitch never takes his eyes off Katniss. His face glows with love and approval of her gesture.

"No. Not at her. I laughed that… oh hell, never mind. Katniss, I wasn't laughing at you, baby. But I don't know anything about goats and I don't—"

"And your answer was?" Haymitch interrupted tilting his head and glaring up at Finn.

Finnick blushes. "Well I'm not going to say it in front of you."

Haymitch rolls his eyes. "You may as well. You couldn't read the fine print on your own. The signature or rejection shouldn't be the part that embarrasses you. You should be embarrassed that you needed your hand held. Or that you haven't even imagined what you should be doing right this moment instead of having to have this explained to you. I withdraw her offer. You don't deserve her."

"It isn't up to you, Hot Rocks."

"Really? Katniss, sweetheart? If I am jealous and forbid you from bedding this oaf, what is your answer to him?" Haymitch drops a wink at her.

She smiles, knowing exactly what he wants her to say. "Sorry Finn. You weren't really that into me anyway. But what he says goes. At least on this."

"Are you kidding me? You'd let him tell you what to do? How can you say I'm not interested in you? I flirt with you all the time. I thought we were friends?"

Katniss blushes. "No, I said that. You said you didn't have any friends. You said I was nothing to you. That was after you called me a bitch."

"Well you can't be mad at him for that part, sweetheart, I call you that all the time. The nothing part is a little harsh though."

"But you say it in a cute way." Katniss says dropping her head and looking up at Haymitch, turning her head and flirting with him.

Finnick stands there mouth agape. "Who wants another drink?" Finn asks, conveying his complete disinterest in any further discussion.

Both empty glasses appear on the table. While Finnick silently fills them Haymitch and Katniss make eyes behind his back. Haymitch mouths 'trust me' to Katniss and she rolls her eyes but nods.

"Oh wait." Finn says holding her glass back. "I'm not good enough for you. Let's double check if my booze is. Ask your mentor." He says smiling at her like a fox, daring her to ask Haymitch's permission.

"Debatable, but I will allow it this time." Haymitch states mild and unoffended.

"Thank you, Haymitch." Katniss says taking the glass as if this is normal.

Finnick snorts in disgust and glares at her. "He'll be selling you next, baby. You should never let a man like him control you."

"Planning a rescue mission now?" Haymitch asks.

"Maybe? I sure as hell wouldn't treat her like this." Finnick spins on Haymitch and studies him as if he's disappointed in him.

"Precisely how would you have treated her? She seemed to be exiting your room as I showed up."

"Misunderstanding, not manipulation." Finn says quietly, eyes smoldering her way.

"You don't approve?" Haymitch asks with sweetness but there are glimmers of danger in his expression.

"No. Of course I don't. You're walking an evil road with her and you know it." Finnick is shaking in anger, but his face shows no distress.

"You haven't even asked the important question Finn. Why did I say no?"

Finnick smirks. "Don't need to ask. You love her. Or at least something along those lines. I've seen that look on your face before, you know."

"You still would if you quit wallowing in yourself for a moment. Here's the problem Finn. She must think a great deal of you to have suggested such an arrangement, and believe me, it isn't about your looks. She sees something in you that is deeper. She found it in me too. Now that is a different thing from what you know. You spend time with her and she will come to feel responsible for you. Then one day she wakes up and you have finally succeeded in this constant stubbornness of yours. That was understandable before the rebellion. If we lose, it would be as well. No shame in robbing the capitol of the delights they would share with the three of us. But, you had no triggering event. You were a little annoyed and a little off and the opportunity presented itself so you just decided to act. Now maybe there are few people you really give a damned about. Keep it that way if you want. But Katniss and I are dealing with all the things you are. How would you feel if after she left your bed, she was discovered up on the surface hanging from a tree. How would you deal with that guilt, Finn?"

Finn looks up at him and glances at Katniss, then drops his eyes. "Not well."

"Me either. So you will not put it on her. You went to a lot of trouble to save me a few days ago. How would it really have affected you if she and I had already been gone? Give that a moment. What hope do you have?"

"There would be no rebellion without you. Not if both of you were gone."

"And where does that leave you and Annie and Jojo and Peeta?"

"Dead. All of us. Just dead."

"Exactly. You can't be with her if you have intent to drag us all with you."

"It would really hurt you? I mean more than just mad at me?" Finnick just looks inquisitive, he has no guilt.

Haymitch leans forward and looks Finn right in the eyes. He pulls the chair forward and reaches out his hand, placing it on Finns arm. "I am barely dealing with Cinna. I can't lose her or you. If you make this choice. You make it for me as well."

"And Finn?" Katniss jumps in finally, "I'm not judging you. I get it. I tried it just to get them to not hurt him. You let your card fall. His falls. Mine falls. I'm sorry but that's how it is. They told him I was gone and he gave up. We are all toes on the wire trying to keep our balance. He's right. I can't care for you if you are going to give up. I won't have much left of him if you do it. You die in battle. That's different. You went for something. I found you on accident. If I had been ten minutes later, they would have me in on the pudding ward again. I don't know if that image is ever going to go away. And if I hadn't gotten to hear it from you, I would have been sure it was about me. Ego or not. I hurt your feelings and then you're dead? How could I not think I missed something?"

Finn sits there for a long time. He doesn't move or speak, but suddenly tears jump out of one eye then the other and race down his cheek. "I swear I didn't know at that moment."

"Well, you do now." Haymitch holds his empty glass out asking for more.

"You wouldn't drink it if you knew what I did for it, Haymitch." Finn says standing and grabbing the half empty bag and squirting it into Haymitch's glass.

"Sure I would, sweetheart. Swam in that gaudy damned pool of yours, and I know what you did for that." Haymitch grins and bounces his eyebrows.

Katniss looks at Haymitch. "You can swim?"

"No he can't. He can only chase Jojo and me around in the shallow end with any skill." Finnick does a funny impression of Haymitch slogging through water.

"I drowned in it pretty good once. Had a little help there didn't I Finn?" Haymitch teases.

"If I had known you were going to chunk it up so, I would have rethought that whole deal a little." Finn looks at Katniss and adds. "He puked after I fished him out."

Katniss is watching this banter in wide eyed wonder snickering at them.

Haymitch smiles and chews his lip then says, "Next time you murder me, don't change your mind. He hit me over the head and dumped me in his deep end."

"You did deserve it." Finn looks like he could still be mad then laughs.

Haymitch nods. "I did." He says satisfied his antics were more than worthy of the events that followed. "Did you ever forgive me?"

Finn shrugs. "I pulled you out. Didn't send you a bill for the vomit in my pool." Finn glances at Katniss and his face grows solemn again. After a moment of quiet he says, " I shouldn't say this, but you were wrong about one point." Finn says with mild hesitation.

"Really? What point was that?" A curious smile plays on Haymitch as if he's expecting another joke.

"You said there was no trigger. You were my trigger."

"Me? I didn't do anything to you." Haymitch slams his glass down on the table.

Katniss leans forward and lightly puts her hand on his arm. "Not to him, Hay. What they did to you."

"Oh. This? Finn?"

Finn peeks at him over his glass. He nods. "Do you remember? I was almost too late and you looked about like this."

"Oh Finn, that was much worse. That was a long time ago."

"But that's kind of the trouble. It happened here."

"What are you guys talking about?" Katniss asks.

Finn inhales deeply. "Don't let him play the tough guy all the time. He gets himself into trouble pretty regularly. And his kind of trouble could be called his own version of my exit strategy. Hell in the last month he's damned near left us twice now."

"It isn't the same." Haymitch says.

"When you don't think and you just barrel in and put yourself in the bullets path. It is the same."

"For her, or you, I'd do it again. No regret. I survived. She wouldn't have. It is not the same." Haymitch curses under his breath.

"So those are your rules for me? Is that what I'm understanding here?"

"They aren't rules. Just information."

"Feels like rules. I have one too. Two actually. You want me to stick around; you let her decide about she and I. You don't own her and I won't have anything to do with either of you if that's the way it works. Number two, anger stays in the house that bore it. She gets mad at you, it's between you guys. Not my problem. You get mad at me it's ours. No taking sides on every little thing."

Haymitch smirks. "And that means that if you begin any physical relationship with my Mockingjay, even if she dumps your ass and kicks you to the deep shaft, you don't play with her mind by bugging out. You can go get yourself barbequed in battle for all I care, but for something. Not just because you happened on a stash that might do the job."

"Yeah. Ok. I hold option if… " Finn swallows. He opens his mouth but his face crumples and he can't breathe.

"If Annie dies, we will forgive you." Haymitch finishes.

Finn nods agreement but he loses his battle against tears. Katniss puts her arms around him and he buries his face in her neck and his chest bellows in and out trying to quench the flood. Haymitch helps himself to more IV fluid while Katniss comforts Finn.

"_**You ask Why to a lot of things and you wind up very unhappy indeed, if you keep at it. The poor girl's better off dead" **_

― _**Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451**_

There is a knock on the door. "Who the hell is it now?" Finn asks going to answer the door and stashing his IV bag behind a cushion.

He swings open the door and five soldiers stand there. "Sorry to interrupt. We have trouble sir. They have breached the water supply and there is no contact on levels 48 or 7 and the bay-doors won't close. They are taking to ground Commander Abernathy. We need you down in the bridge, Commander Heavensbee requested."

"And how did you know I was here." Haymitch asks annoyed.

"Well. Um, sir. Everyone knows. The goat is on the way. All the way from district 10." He says proud of his efficiency. "We were told the Mockingjay needs fresh goat-milk for the baby."

Haymitch raises his chin so high it showed off his bobbing Adam's apple as he swallowed several times. His face remained perfectly placid as he glanced at Katniss. "That is the best news I have heard all night, lieutenant. We are on our way."

"_**We're going to meet a lot of lonely people in the next week and the next month and the next year. And when they ask us what we're doing, you can say, We're remembering. That's where we'll win out in the long run. And someday we'll remember so much that we'll build the biggest goddamn steamshovel in history and dig the biggest grave of all time and shove war in it and cover it up."  
>― Ray Bradbury, <strong>__**Fahrenheit 451**_

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><p>Ok that just bubbled out – sorry about the goat. I don't actually have any control over Haymitch and those other people – well, I turn them loose and here we are. Please review.<p> 


	16. Chapter 16

**Pleasure to burn - Chapter sixteen**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn16  
><strong>Summary<strong>:_ The small battles, those are the details and the devil is always in them. _  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**:

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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><p><strong><em>All you umpires, back to the bleachers. Referees, hit the showers. It's my game. I pitch, I hit, I catch. I run the bases. At sunset I've won or lost. At sunrise, I'm out again, giving it the old try. And no one can help me. Not even you." ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451<em>**

"That's where we are. I think Hawthorne has a handle on the water. You have anything to add Boggs?"

"Odair's bunch will cover the topside exits. I know it may not seem important Finnick, but it would be a perfect time to strike that sector. Rather be prepared." Field Commander Boggs adds.

"They aren't printing invitations folks. Why is everyone still here?" Haymitch waves the group of twenty toward the door.

Katniss followed Finnick and Gale out the door of the Bridge. It could be called the command center if a land-lover had named it, but Finnick was responsible for the designation of this room that had once been an exercise facility. Its main advantage was that it was near restrooms, overlooked the pool and had a lot of windows. Its main disadvantage was its inhabitants would be a target gallery if the home forces breached the outlander force.

The toilets still flushed here, because water could be carried by hand from the pool to make it happen. For the rest of the invading outlanders only the powder potties could be utilized at this time. Water was no longer available for bathing and soon a decision would have to be made about the pool. The flushing was depleting it at an alarming rate. It may be needed for drinking if things didn't change.

"Katniss?" Haymitch says, spinning his chair at her and giving her one of his looks.

She turns, assuming he has some word of advice for her in the upcoming battle to be waged. She just stands there not quite understanding his shaking head.

"You won't be attending the festivities, sweetheart." He says with a gentle smile.

Her face darkens. "What do you mean? I have to. I'm the Mockingjay."

"You are the Mockingjay and a half," he says glancing at her stomach and back to her face. "Got to keep the cinnamon bun safe."

"I know. I will be careful. Promise."

"You will be here assisting me," he says and turns back to his screens bumping his chair into the table and rocking the monitors.

She doesn't argue, just turns again to leave. Finnick stands in the door, arms crossed shaking his head at her. "He's right."

Gale stands behind him leaning on the wall. She looks at him hoping for support, but sees he will be a dead end too. "Don't be ridiculous. You need me. Why give me this stupid rifle and all this ammo if you leave me behind?"

Finn crooks his finger at her and she steps into the hallway. "Look, it isn't just about little snowflake. You are their last defense should we fail. Beetee is a joke unless he can outthink them. Plutarch is a mediocre soldier, he's great at directing, but in the field he misses too much. Your rescue is case in point. He let them get behind you. Didn't think ahead. He's more useful here with Haymitch. And I don't mean this to sound bad, but Haymitch is defenseless. He could be taken out by a single sniper while his back is turned. You have to be his eyes and should it go fully south, you need to…do what you can for him. They get ahold of him…"

Katniss listened to his reasoning staring at the floor. She sighed and nodded as the unsaid part dawned on her. "I see. You think I can frag them if…"

"I don't know, but I hope to hell you can. I know the bastards won't be taking me prisoner." His eyebrows pop up and he rotates his head slightly alluding to the fact that he won't be treated like Haymitch had.

She hates it, but she sees his point. "Ok. So I am security for the brains."

"And unfortunately, you're it. If you see action, other than a rogue, there isn't much point in fighting." Gale meets her gaze, his face blanked by calm that didn't reach his eyes. His eyes were trying to say a lot of things from goodbye to have faith in him, but he wouldn't voice any of it because she didn't need to hear all that she knew of him.

She looked at them both and nodded. "Give'm hell boys. I expect to be bored to death."

Gale smiled, thanking her for her attempt at humor. He lifted his chin in acknowledgement and she watched them jog down the hallway. She stood there a long time after they were gone, taking in the weakness of the room and all the places that a bad guy would seek to hide. She slung her rifle across her back in such a way that she didn't have to remove it to fire, but keeping it out of the way while she stalked every corner of the room. She didn't have much of a job, and she knew it, but at the same time, she had every intention of doing it well.

Haymitch and Plutarch speak in low tone to various field commanders, keenly watching screens while Beetee frowns and fusses over miles of cords and continues to set up ever more screens for the two Commanders of the show. Gamemakers.

She immediately sees the greatest weakness on her floor. The pool, with its water bucket brigade could let anyone have access to this office. First she dashes down the stairs and herds everyone out. She picks two boys and posts them outside the locked doors. She hands them each a lifeguards alert horn and tells them that if anyone tries to get past them or even looks like trouble, to run like crazy and sound the horns. Then she locks the doors. She looks up and sees that Haymitch is in position for a perfect headshot and that Plutarch is in little better position. She could kill them both in seconds and she looks around for something to block the view.

She hoists the pool cover and makes quick work of it, slicing it into long strips and hauling them upstairs. She positions the strips, using Beetee's sticky putty, so that the view of those in the office is obscure, leaving room at the top for her to see over. She drags a table into the center of the room and stands up on it. The pool and all the hallways behind her are visible, but now, nobody can see in to pick off the occupants while hiding behind a banister or other obstacle.

She's made it so any attacker will have to come into the room to hope for a shot. Even if they hit the window with a random fire, they will at least have a chance at a warning, but Katniss is hoping she will see them before they have a chance to get started.

Haymitch has been watching her and finally he swings around, looking up at her and admiring her handiwork. He drops his headset around his neck and his lips turn up slightly, more on one side letting the hint of a dimple show. "I am impressed. Sweetheart."

"You may as well have been naked up here behind all this glass. Just inviting one shooter to end the whole game. Finnick should've picked something easier to defend."

"He was doing the best he could at the time. You seem to have it all sorted out though?"

She smiles for just a heartbeat, but the thought of blowing Haymitch's head off if they are on the losing side, blasted it off her face and made her drop her eyes. She nodded.

"What is that face?" he asks.

Katniss blinks and pretends to look over the empty pool area as if something caught her eye. She recovers herself and asks him, "We doing any good?"

The smile returns and he gestures for her to have a look. She hops off the table as he spins back to his station. "We are doing quite well so far. Seven has been secured and the water will be back soon. They aren't putting up much of a fight in truth. "Look, there is your 'cousin'," he points to a dark figure on one of the screens. "He's a natural."

Katniss looks closely. He looked about like all the others moving across a warehouse area, but the way he moves is familiar and easily recognizable to her. She smiles a little as she watches him move elegantly. The home forces are in retreat and Gale seems to choose his targets judiciously and with an eerie precision. He hesitates, then fires three shots from his hiding spot. Three men fall and before fire is returned in his direction he is again melted into cover and observing his next quarry. Pride fills her at his grace and careful destruction.

"We are winning?" she says unable to hide her relief.

"So far. It isn't over til the witch ding dongs." Haymitch states, meaning Coin.

"How's Finn doing?"

"I don't have him. He's on Plutarch's side. But don't worry, they are taking some fire down on forty-three but there have only been five minor casualties reported at all. No fatalities on our side. Mellark got hit, but it isn't serious. Ankle I think. He's probably already on crutches, demanding he be allowed to come up here and help." Haymitch tells her.

Plutarch slaps Haymitch on the elbow, letting him know his attention is needed. "Sorry, sweetheart. Back to the arena for now. Try not to worry."

She watches for a while, but her eyes don't stay on them for long. A woman approaches the door. Katniss watches her and greets her with a smile. "Mrs. Falkner. Please come in."

A smile that would have been charming if not for the horrible teeth leaped onto her face. "Sae sent victuals. She battled the cooks and won. First change she made was lettin' food be et where it's needed." The woman wheels a cart into the room and the smell of warm bread and onion soup steams into the room.

Beetee can barely contain himself as he stands on one foot then the other waiting for Katniss to parcel out his share. She grins at him and makes sure his bowl is nearly to the top. Haymitch barely acknowledges his, drinking it out of the bowl like coffee. Plutarch says a heartfelt thanks but mostly picks at the bread, dipping each bit in the soup then forgetting it is in his hand while he speaks then dipping the soggy piece back in his bowl. Katniss piles the empty dishes together and once again resumes her protective vigil.

**_With his symbolic helmet numbered 451 on his stolid head, and his eyes all orange flame with the thought of what came next, he flicked the igniter and the house jumped up in a gorging fire that burned the evening sky red and yellow and black. He strode in a swarm of fireflies. He wanted above all, like the old joke, to shove a marshmallow on a stick in the furnace, while the flapping pigeon-winged books died on the porch and lawn of the house." ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451_**

Plutarch stands up and shouts, "Well Stop them!" Katniss gets back onto her table trying to see his screen over his shoulder. "No pull out. It's decoy. They are in the hoverbay. No the doors should be closed dammit. Beetee? Get on this!" he points to his second largest screen and there is chaos taking place as the large hoverdocks are slowly swinging wide.

Beetee is typing franticly and nodding. "They have me overrode. They are doing it manually. I can't help you H-Bee. It isn't on my end. I can't stop manual override."

Heavensbee curses. "Yes. Right now. Destroy the damned things for all I care, but don't let them out." Plutarch bends close to his screen and squints. "Haymitch, what the hell do you think they are up to?"

Haymitch leaves his station and rolls to Plutarch's side. "My guess is they are bugging out."

"To where?" Plutarch says frustrated as he watches three hovercrafts ascend and just squeeze by the still opening doors.

"No idea," Haymitch says.

Now others follow and soon more than half the crafts have exited. One of the crafts spins and sends a barrage of fire back into the troops. Smoke wafts and things go downhill. There isn't much that can be done to stop them, but the last two crafts sporting running lights just lift off and are caught both trying to exit at the same time, neither giving quarter or yielding. One shudders into the other as it loses its gyro-motion stabilizer. They watch in silent horror as their troops scramble to escape the crash. Katniss catches a glimpse of someone looking a whole lot like Finn running just before the whole screen is engulfed in fiery brilliance and the feed goes dark.

"What the hell happened? I can't see shit up here!" Plutarch yells into his headset. He bends over and listens. Then grim faced he says to Haymitch. "They say there were four explosions. It's nothing but fire in there and we may not have one dammed hovercraft left. Heavy casualties. Haymitch, send medics. It's bad. Shit. Shit. Shit." Heavensbee curses.

"On the way, burn unit equipped." Haymitch says cool and calm.

Beetee is speaking under his breath and his tongue keeps sliding out the side of his mouth then darting back in. "I got it. Our camera took a fucking but I have the other two old backups on line. Here you go."

"Saved the day as always, Beetee." Plutarch says with earnest respect.

"Yep." Beetee replies, but it is an abbreviated 'you're welcome' rather than agreement.

Haymitch voices his opinion of the feed, "Son of a crotchsniffing tommyknocker with a snotsickle."

Heavensbee adds, "Yeah…with turd gravy on top." They both stare at the scene in silence.

Katniss stands on her table, not moving. "What's this mean Haymitch?"

He shakes his head for a moment. "Think it means we won, sweetheart. But it's going to hurt like hell."

Katniss nods and sits down. She doesn't feel very well all of a sudden. Haymitch and Plutarch go back to their other screens and speak calm and sedate into their microphones. Katniss attends the door when needed, not sure what else she should do. Various leaders come and go, some smelling of battle, others clean as if having just stepped out for a snack. The hours pass and she refuses to ask if Finn was in the hover bay. She doesn't want to know the answer and the odds are that at least a few people she knows were.

"They abandoned this too easily. Need to find out why. We have any helpful candidates?" She hears Haymitch ask. "Good. Get them ready for me. While they cool their heels, bring up the file on The Marquee. Read it aloud to them. Warn them whose services they are about to enjoy. Trust me, it will make them much more cooperative. No the same room is fine. I won't be long."

Haymitch spins and looks at Katniss. "Come along sweetheart. Time to meet the real me. May change your mind a bit about liking me."

"What do you mean?" Katniss asks. She looks over at Plutarch and tries to get something from his expression, but he just looks desperately ill.

"Haymitch? That is no place for the girl." Plutarch stands up and focuses on Haymitch.

Beetee sighs but never takes his attention of his computer screen. "She will be afraid of you," he agrees.

"Probably. But I won't hide who they made me from her. She can make her own decisions when she's given the opportunity. If I had known better before The Quell, things would not have been such a disaster. Someone will be determined to tell her all about me at some point. You ready, sweetheart?" He looks up at her, his eyes cold, but she sees fear flash there. She nods stoically.

She doesn't ask anything as he leads her where they are going. Her jaw is tight and she swallows hard. She keeps glancing at him. He keeps pretending not to notice. "Haymitch?" she asks while they are in the elevator.

His lips tighten. "I have attained a few skills you probably won't approve of. I'm extremely good at it. Pleasure and Pain. Studied it for twenty five years. I am also pretty good at screwing with people's minds, but I imagine you of all people won't be too surprised by that confession."

"No. Why do you want to make me see this?"

"If you and I continue on the path we seem to be heading, I don't want to have you driven away by some big mouth. I lied to you many times in the past. I don't think that's where we are now. Am I wrong?"

"No. Do you think you would ever… if it was me?"

"It would be hard. It would depend on the circumstance. Before you judge me or have much pity for them, I want you to remember what you saw on that screen. Those were people we cared about."

"Is Finn dead?"

His face never twitches. "I don't know yet. I imagine he is, don't you?"

She matches his emotionless face. "Barbequed."

"Makes it a lot easier to do my job. Hate is a skill when applied to reason. Pay attention, you never know when this will come in handy. Much more useful than flower arranging or crochet"

She shakes her head at him and sighs, but a smirk ends up crawling onto her face in the end. "So, where is your little bag of horrors?"

Haymitch holds out his hands. "Toys are for novices."

Katniss looks at him, unsure what to think of what she's seeing. "Tommyknockers nadds,"she whispers.

**_"In sum, do not insult me with the beheadings, finger choppings or the lung-deflations you plan for my works. I need my head to shake or nod, my hand to wave or make into a fist, my lungs to shout or whisper with. I will not go gently onto a shelf, degutted, to become a non-book. ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451_**

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><p><em>Don't' get spoiled, grin, just updating while I have a chance. It's short, but more tomorrow and I need to think about how much you need to see – not turning this into an instruction manual– please review. Makes me determined to get you just one more chapter.<em>


	17. Chapter 17

**Pleasure to burn - Chapter seventeen**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn17  
><strong>Summary<strong>:_ Is he the devil or her own personal avenging angel. Katniss learns her mentor doesn't just pretend to be mean. Is the information gained worth the cost? _  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**:

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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><p><strong><em>"But most of all, I like to watch people. Sometimes I ride the subway all day and look at them and listen to them. I just want to figure out who they are and what they want and where they are going." ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451<em>**

Haymitch stops his chair in front of a group of men slouching in the hallway. Katniss has never seen any of them.

"Hello sir. I see you are recovering. I think you are going to be pleased." A tall man with a deep russet complexion says respectfully.

Haymitch does the unexpected. He is stiff and moves slowly, but he takes the man's arm and stands up. No emotion crosses his face though he had to be in agony.

"Haymitch, be careful." Katniss moves to his side in case he loses balance, or consciousness.

He smiles down at her and pats her face. It annoys her because he's acting like she's being an unreasonable mother hen. She had to help him into the bathroom a few hours ago and now he's acting like he's a big boy. Her eyes narrow and she frowns at him.

"Are our guests comfortable?" he addresses the man who helped him up, ignoring her face making.

"They are prepared in your usual fashion, sir." The man glances at Katniss and her eyes dart between them, not liking how this beefy hard looking man seems so servile to Haymitch.

"The Mockingjay will be observing our pleasures today, Dante. She will need raiment."

"As you command." He bows slightly and leaves.

"The room of preparation has been equipped for you." Another man steps forward and offers his arm to Haymitch. Katniss follows hackles up but not commenting.

The man carefully helps Haymitch into a black long robe. "I miss your old robes, sir. This is material is shoddy."

"Well we have to make do, for now."

"Yes sir." The man stands behind Haymitch and a leather mask is gently placed on his face, covering the upper half but leaving his mouth and eyes exposed. Katniss watches this horrified.

The first man returns and holds out a similar robe for Katniss to shrug into. She sticks her arms through the sleeves and feels ridiculous. It startles her when they put a mask on her face too. "Feel like I'm going to a ball." Katniss says with disapproval.

Haymitch's gray eyes fall to Katniss and she hates the mask. He's hard enough to read without it and he looks sinister in this getup. "Leave us," he says quietly.

"You wear a costume to torture people?" she says with a shake of her head and an eyeroll once the door closes.

"Theatrics. Never underestimate what people will do to themselves all in their own mind. I look like some old world judge, faceless and no longer human. If I were tied up and you walked into the room, trust me, it would have an effect, sweetheart."

"You don't think you look mean enough as just Haymitch?"

He smiles and takes a step toward her, "Please. I couldn't even get my bluff in on a scared little seam girl. She tried to cut my finger off. That isn't saying much for my scary factor in person."

She sighs letting some of the tension out that had been working its way into her shoulders at these revelations. "I think you having minions is pretty scary," she says low and carefully.

"You have always known I have people loyal to me alone, haven't you?"

"I knew you had friends or something. Not like them. It's creepy the way they talk to you. Are there more of them or is that the extent of your secret club?"

"There are many more. I can't be everywhere, sweetheart. They are my eyes. They are imbedded in many places. I have more within the capitol. That's how I know Peeta is alive. I can't get to him right now with any hope of success, or I would have extracted him already. So far the danger to him has not become risky enough to chance what would occur if I made an attempt to rescue him. He's miserable and uncomfortable. He's in danger and they seem to be drugging him to attempt to get him to reveal our plans, but so far he's not in immediate life threatening peril." Haymitch moves to a basin of water and dips his hands in as if fulfilling a ceremony rather than actually cleansing himself. He turns toward her drying each finger on a towel as he explains.

"Why have you let me worry, imagine such terrible things, if you knew that?"

He strikes a match and lights a candle next to the basin. He picks up a pellet of some black substance and holds it to the candle. The flat black pellet sparkles to life and sizzles as he drops it onto a raised dish. It continues to burn rapidly without flame and very little smoke. It glows in places and Haymitch bends to it and blows on it. The glowing grows, bright orange consuming the dark matter.

He opens a small container and extracts what looks like two small brownish stones, placing them in the center of the burning pellet.

He watches the strange item for a moment then looks back up at her. "I could not be certain what I should reveal to you. I'm still debating frankly. I fear your opinion of me, sweetheart. I fear you will find me, less than worthy to associate with. I don't want you to hate me or see irreparable loathing in your eyes. It would break my heart once and for all. There isn't a lot of good left in me I'm afraid, but you find it and when we are together, I know they didn't win after all. They didn't kill all that existed in me before my reaping."

"Did you think they had? Did you really not know how amazing you are?"

His eyes shine behind his terrible mask and his lips pull back in a painful smile. "I've thought it to be true for years. I would have never had the heart to bring you home, knowing what I did. Never made you this Mockingjay, if I had believed this side of me still existed. I would have let you die and known I'd done you the greatest service I could. I would have let you find peace instead of allowing you to become like Finn and I and Johanna."

"I never thought of it like that Haymitch. Is that why you didn't help them? So they wouldn't hurt them like they did you?" Her eyes are wide and her voice is softly wavering.

"It was the third year. That was when I made up my mind to never make a victor. I betrayed that vow with you. The boy was a surprise. I did you evil by handing you victory. I am responsible for all I created in you. If we don't win, you may suspect some of what they will do to you, but the truth would be beyond what you could comprehend. There would be pain for you on more levels than I care to explain. Hell would be a vacation once the capitol finished their work. If we win, I am redeemed, but if we don't I will end your life if it is in my power to do so. If I can't offer you that gift, if I am not here to save you, so to speak, there are not enough tortures in a thousand lifetimes to pay me for my mistake." His voice is mild but he doesn't meet her gaze as he watches the little stones bubble on the pellet and they begin to erupt in copious amounts of sweet smelling smoke.

"It's worth it to me, if you're interested in what I think. I would have said yes, if you'd ask me. Even if we fail. Stopping them, trying to, making the next seventy-five years hunger game free is worth anything. You couldn't have made me without my consent. Not really. It isn't all on you. I'm here you know? I made choices too. Most of the time I didn't know what I was doing, but still, I brought us here too."

"Are you sure of that? How do you know I didn't simply narrow your field of choices until you did exactly what I wanted of you?" His eyes meet hers as if he knows the answer and is only waiting for her to catch up.

She is quiet for a period as she carefully replays all the events that brought her to this moment. "You may have done that on some things. I don't know. I guess you did about part of it, but I could have stopped you any time if it wasn't what I wanted too. Even if I didn't know it all. Even if I have been nothing but another one of your minions in everything so far. I could have stopped it all. I still could and I'm not. I'm right here, even if you do scare me a … lot right this minute. I'm here. And I will hate your guts forever more. I need you. No matter who you are in this costume or in your drunken pervert costume or in your Battlemonger uniform or in your sad little boy lost in the dark self. I'm only here because I want to be. I want to win Haymitch. I want to win." Her voice lost its hesitancy and was firm and strong in the end.

Haymitch carefully puts his arms around her. She can smell his bandages and coppery wounds mixing under the smoke and dye of the black fabric. Her arms circle him gently as he slips his finger under her chin and pulls her head up to meet his lips. His mouth is gentle, but his hungry exploration of her says many things. He feels like love and warmth to her, not evil. She returns his kiss, happy to yield to his embrace and thrilled by the sensation of his breath mixing with her own and the gaulish bitter of his taste. She slits her eyes and even the masks they both have veiled their faces in don't hide all the things between them at this time. She closes her eyes again and is swept by him. Be he darkness or light, she follows his lead.

He finally pulls away and before she opens her eyes she whispers, "I trust you. You never made me kiss you. You never made me want you. You couldn't have narrowed all my choices. Not this one if I didn't make it all by myself."

"I'm glad you feel that way. Now we should get down to business, my sweetheart. There is some ugly ahead. I am not forcing you to watch. I think you get the picture."

"I am fine. I see you. Just tell me what to do. There is a lot of smoke in here, should you see to that thing?"

**_"The autumn leaves blew over the moonlit pavement in such a way as to make the girl who was moving there seem fixed to a sliding walk, letting the motion of the wind and the leaves carry her forward. [...] The trees overhead made a great sound of letting down their dry rain." _**

**_― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451_**

"Come here, stand in front of me. This is amber. It is part of my own preparatory steps." He reaches around her and wafts the stream of gray toward them. "I am bathing you in ancient fire to protect your soul from despair. Breath it. Take it into yourself and welcome it as part of you from now on. You are veiled in its mystery, no longer Katniss and separate from all you are. You are stepping though all you know, keeping it safe from that part of you that will come forth in my chambers. Feel this other her grow in you. She is not part of your life, she serves you and she is not who you are. What is her name?"

Katniss twists around question in her eyes. "I don't know what you mean."

"Choose a name for her. The darkness in you can be called by name. You must give her a separate being within you. She must not be part of Katniss. Close your eyes and feel her." he instructs.

"Do you see her?"

Katniss stands still trying to understand him. Finn crosses her mind and she whispers, "I think so."

" She has no fear. She feels no pain or sorrow. She is all your anger and hatred. Focus her. Hand her all those emotions that give your soul ache. She will find strength in them. Don't hold them any longer. She carries them now. She will be another, only called upon in necessity. Now let her speak. What is your name."

Minutes pass as she tries to visualize what he's told her. The voice startles her. It comes from her own mouth but it feels different. "I am Achillea."

"Welcome. Achillea. Child of war. And you know me."

"Yes. You are the Marquee."

"I proclaim. I reveal. I am the herald of darkness and its end. Do you wish my guidance?"

"Yes."

"Then leave your heart behind and follow. Do not speak or allow them to know you. Watch, learn and accept what is before us and never reveal it to those who are of simple mind. Take no evil from the chamber. Bring no light with you. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

"Then dip your hands in the basin and prepare them to receive the blood of the damned."

She does as he asks and he carefully dries each of her fingers as she keeps her eyes cast down. He says nothing more and she follows him to the next room. Just before they become visible to the prisoners, he stops her and reaches to her back lifting the hood and securing it in position with a hidden clamp sewn into the fabric. He secures it in her hair and adjusts it so it drapes perfectly, obscuring her identity but not her view. She watches him raise his own and secure it and looking up at him, she had to admit he looked like a terror from a nightmare. "Say nothing. If I address you, simply comply with my request. Move slowly, silently. If it becomes more than you feel comfortable with, simply leave as unobtrusively as possible. No matter what is said, maintain your silence. Only I address them."

She nods.

The room is dark and shadows flick on the wall from the candles. The theatrics obviously didn't stop at costume. The air is thick and heavy with the smell of men filled with fear, bodies exuding haltingly bitter aroma particles as profusely as the candles yield the smell of wax and honey.

Haymitch steps into the room and slowly, silently inspects each prisoner. He adjusts some small thing on each of the four men. He runs his hands up and down legs, a doctor searching for injury, a destroyer searching for weakness. Two of them are enraged by his familiar intimacy and look away. One watches every move fearfully but silent. The last tries to cringe away as if the hands belong to Winterman in the flesh. Katniss slides out of the way near the wall.

The four men are strapped to tilted tables. They each are naked except for a drape across their private area. This is obviously left for later removal. What she saw in the hospital flashes in her mind. They had electrocuted him down there and she wonders how he can even walk with the burns. She tries to keep her focus on Haymitch, because the helplessness of them is uncomfortable and she fills with shame for their circumstance. She wonders what Peeta must be enduring and if the fact that he is probably in similar condition right now has crossed Haymitch's mind.

Katniss is surprised that one of them is so young. She shivers, thinking of Rory. He can't be much older than Gale's brother. The thought that Haymitch is about to hurt him, turns her stomach.

Haymitch is just carefully adjusting the youngest fellow's chest strap and focusing directly on the boy when the first man, whose gaze blazes at what is being done at the other end of the room says brazenly, "Look at this shit? What are you supposed to be? Looks like some kind of capitol pussy to me."

Haymitch finishes what he's doing and lays his hand on the boy's chest and looks deeply into his terrified eyes. The boys jaw is clenched and his breath comes fast as if he's already in pain. Haymitch bends over him as if he has to memorize the face of the boy.

"You don't scare us. You wanna start on something your own size, I'm right here." The man says with such bravado it seems reckless.

Haymitch stands and his lips pull into a smile. "Hello hero. I wondered if the first one was an accident. I imagine this very attractive boy means something to you? Pity." The voice is a soft purr resonating never before from Haymitch's throat in Katniss' experience. It is like a patient tomb spirit, sated with souls.

"Yeah, next you're going to show me your handy knives and one of your other goons will wheel the shocker in. Aren't you going to give us the cooperation speech, masked man?"

Haymitch crosses the room in no hurry, stopping in front of each man and waiting for their fear to consume their will to look elsewhere. He nods to them each before moving on. Finally he stands in front of the speaking man. "I am delighted you are familiar with the procedure of amateurs. I am somewhat more experienced. I know you have no wish to tell me anything. If you were willing to do that, you would not be here. My goal is slightly in a different place. You see I have appetites and this is my only availability to explore them without others interfering. By the time the knives arrive, you won't care what you said or did not. You see my goal is to not release you by gaining too much information too quickly." Haymitch moves around to the man's head, out of his line of sight.

He softly caresses the man's face then his hands kneed the muscles of his extended arms.. "I want you to be heroes. I want you to show me how very brave you all are. It isn't a matter of who I should start with to get the quickest answers. I want the toughest in spirit meshed with the tenderest in physique. No. Tell me nothing. Keep your pride."

"You see I am simply making my selection. Not trying to find the one most easily broken under my pleasures. That is why I keep you all in the same room. One must be brave in front of ones friends. Singles, walled away from the world, are much easier to question. I like brave men. Brave men who will not consider denying me my dining experience. By the time the knives arrive? You won't care what you told me or didn't. You will just be pleased it isn't you who lives and watches me eat that small section of liver I have removed. You won't care that that delicious smell filling the room, was a friend of yours moments ago. You will only be thankful that I rejected your meat and that it is someone else who screams for my assistant to end the pain."

As Haymitch finishes his strange confession and the bits settle visibly into each one of their minds, one of the men breaks into deep breaths which transition into sobs. He blinks rapidly and shivers as the tears began to fall and he speaks to someone who isn't in the room, telling them over and over how sorry he is. Haymitch smirks and winks at Katniss. She drops her eyes at once, but doesn't move.

"Shut up. Carnorre. He's messing with you." The hero says in a gruff way with no sympathy for the younger man.

"You go to hell Captain Rickers. I got a baby on the way. I swore I'd… You got us all captured. Stupid ass. And do we get some joe to slap us around? No. They have imported monsters. Capitol monsters. Look at them. They are going to fucking eat us! For what? Coin? She's not here and we were on the wrong side in the first place and you know it!" he screams the last part. For a moment, he loses it completely and screams as he battles uselessly against his binds.

"You shut up or so help me I'll kill you myself! You think it matters what side? You're an idiot!"

The boy on the end, brave until now, turns his head away. Scrunching up his eyes and giving in to his own tears. The boy's much quieter sobs mingle with the others screams and Captian 'Hero' Rickers orders them both to stop over and over. The fourth man sweats profusely but doesn't move anything but his eyes back and forth then around the room. He breaths through his mouth in tiny gasps but refuses to twitch as if he could simply fail to be noticed if he holds still enough. Katniss names him Rabbit in her mind, because he is frozen in place as rabbits often do. Haymitch hasn't touched one of them yet but she has a new dawning respect for just how manipulative her mentor actually is.

Haymitch speaks again, "Now if we have finished exploring futures and can accept that I don't really care to be enlightened with your inconvenient words. This is also a teaching situation for me and before I begin my own excursions with each of you, I must complete my young apprentice's lessons. We will begin with you, Hero. Achillea, please attend me."

She steps forward and takes her place next to Haymitch. He stuffs a gag in the mouth of the Captain, not silencing him, but making his orders unintelligible. Haymitch secures his head with a strap across the man's brow. He struggles against the bond as Haymitch systematically discusses the pain centers of the face. Katniss follows his instructions as he shows her the vulnerable place just behind the man's jaw below the ears.

It takes her several times to manipulate the nerve bundle precisely enough to make him scream with control of how much pain she exudes. Haymitch continues to have her repeat the procedure until he can point to her and she can at once cause an agonizing groan from the subject. He shows her the point that must be pressed firmly to dislocate a jaw slowly and excruciatingly. Her next lesson is located just behind the point of the man's chin, then they move on to the nose and huge tears swell and bank down his temples as he is subjected to these bloodless agonies.

The temples are covered as well as the blood pressure control located at the base of the neck near his throbbing pulse. Haymitch shows her how to make him pass out quickly and quietly before they move on to the next man. She doesn't want to harm him, because he is expecting a child and she can't help but think of how Cinna had found the information such a delight. She wonders how far along his wife is and feels a little jealousy that he and his wife had more than a few hours to cherish the information together. She wonders if the woman suspects he here or if she fears that she two must raise a child who will never know the face of his father.

Her hands are about to make contact when the man says softly but with desperation. "Please. If I tell you, do we live? My wife. I just want to see her again. I'll tell you anything you want."

**_"To everything there is a season. Yes. A time to break down, and a time to build up. Yes. A time to keep silence and a time to speak. Yes." ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451_**

Haymitch sighs as if he doesn't want this to happen, then says in that strange voice of his, "If you convey the information requested of you by my assistants I would have to end our session at once. It is required by their Mockingjay. She doesn't approve of our methods and has put many unreasonable stipulations on our activities. I will offer you my guarantee that you will not be on the menu if you refrain from—"

"They have gas bombs. They are on timers. They will force you to the surface and pick you off. Any who stay behind will slowly die within hours. The gas smells good, inviting deep inhalation. They wait just a few clicks away. Coin doesn't like to fight if she can just eliminate you without much trouble. She's going to fumigate instead of fight. She's made a deal with Snow if she wipes you out. She gives them the body of the Mockingjay and we bow out of the whole mess. They only have to wait for you to surface or die and a week later, they walk back in, reverse ventilation and it's all intact. No damage to the underground or the systems or gardens and the animals will be sick but they gave them inoculations to protect them from the gas. It is set to happen in the early dawn of the second day. I have maps. I will show them to you if you set me free up on the surface. I will get my wife and come back. I have to get her. I don't care what you do to me after that."

"What makes you think they won't kill you and her on sight if you do come back here? You betrayed your pals here, the outlanders won't trust you." Haymitch asks.

"The Mockingjay. She saved my brother down in Deep13. He's fighting for her. I would be too if I'd had a chance. You keep them out for a couple weeks, Coin won't be able to keep them. They don't have enough food to last out there long. They'll be back, alright, but not against you. Here, she had ways to make us stick it out and she got away with it. Out there, she will fail. I swear. I swear on my life. On the life of my baby. Please. I'll help you, then you let me go."

"Our session is ended." Haymitch says as if in pain. "Did you get that Conroy?"

A speaker in the corner of the room pops to life, "Affirmative, sir."

"See to the others. Take this one to Abernathy. He will want to question him."

"Yes sir."

Haymitch says no more and simply walks out of the room in a flurry of dark disgust. Katniss follows, glancing back at the man who broke for love and belief in someone he'd never met. He may have been desperate, but even the enemy trusts her word. How strange it feels to have been another yet aware of both sides of herself.

She enters the room of preparation and is grinning from ear to ear until she sees Haymitch lower himself into a chair. He opens his robe and reveals that the black did not show the blood oozing from his still vulnerable chest.

"I am going to get your chair. Then my mother." Katniss says as he nods then lays his head back eyes drooping in exhaustion.

"You alright, sweetheart?" he asks yanking at the ties to his mask.

"The damned didn't bleed? It wasn't that horrible. A show of evil, but not evil. Right?" She pulls her own mask off. "You were pretty amazing in there," she adds.

"Fear beats many. If you know what they are afraid of. Even beats me on occasion."

"You wouldn't really eat them, would you?"

He smirks at her and drops his head, eyes glittering. "You haven't read my file. It doesn't always go as smoothly as that. That was daycare. We ever get you up to the college level, we will discuss my culinary abominations."

"That is so gross, and I kissed you?" she says only partially joking. She shakes her head, unwilling to even consider picturing that he wasn't just bluffing.

"You may be surprised at the wonders you have ingested at a particular stall in the Hob."

"You know, I am pregnant. Just a thoughtful 'no' would have been nice. I don't need to hear—" she covers her mouth and swallows hard, eyes watering.

"My chair, sweetheart. Best we head that way soon. Get you some ginger tea while you wait,"

She nods and steps into the hallway, making valiant effort not to vomit in front of his freaks.

Three of his minions attend him and her most of the way to the hospital wing. They are ordered off before they slip through the doors. "They are still creepy." She says to Haymitch as they leave hearing range. Haymitch smirks, but it is about all he can manage.

**_"But we do need a breather. We do need knowledge. And perhaps in a thousand years we might pick smaller cliffs to jump off." ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451_**

A hospital bed is moved into the lobby for Haymitch and he directs the search and destroy campaign from here. The man with the wife is brought to him and he questions him extensively. The man smiles at her and seems thrilled to be of help, never suspecting the truth. She asks about his wife and the man talks for half an hour, barely taking a breath.

Heavensbee appears with a cocky grin on his face. He hands Katniss a slip of paper with a room number on it. She looks up at him confused.

Plutarch shrugs. "Some idiot. Says he knows you. You have time for a little PR for us Mockingjay? Troop morale and everything?"

Katniss sighs annoyed and exhausted. "Sure. Then I want a nap," she tiredly agrees standing and getting her bearings. Pollux waves to her and she returns his friendly greeting.

She wanders down the hallways and arrives at the designated room. She plasters a smile on her lips and pushes open the door, knocking softly to warn the patient.

The man's face and arms are bandaged but he turns his head her way and one green familiar eye blinks at her.

"Finnick. Oh…Finn." She cries in joy, no longer tired at all.

"Miss me, baby-doll?"

**_"What do you do, go around trying everything once?' he asked. _**

**_'Sometimes twice,..." ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451_**

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><p><em>. Have had a small emergency and may not be able to post if I don't go ahead and do it now. This is a rough – I will fix it as soon as I can but could not leave you hanging. Be back as soon as I can – very interested in your opinion of this bit- rough and crappy as it is. Will fix as soon as I can. Love and haymitchiness to you all.<em>


	18. Chapter 18

**Pleasure to burn - Chapter eighteen**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn18  
><strong>Summary<strong>:_ Finnick needs some comfort. The battle for 13. And who is winning the war? _  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Finn/Haymitch, Plutarch

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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><p><strong><em>" And the hour's late. And the war's begun. And we are out here, and the city is there, all wrapped up in its own coat of a thousand colors." ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451<em>**

Finn had a few burns and took a piece of shrapnel to the eye. He was so out of his mind on drugs that so far he didn't care. While the good stuff hummed in his system all was well and even his constant tugging sorrow of Annie's absence felt distant and obscure. Haymitch scooters down the hall a few hours after Katniss. He finds her curled to Finnick's untoasted side and so deeply asleep she's snoring a little.

"Hot Rocks. Come to claim your wayward drooling sidekick? She's about saturated this side, and I only have the one available." Finn asks with a glance down at Katniss. "She isn't so ferocious looking when she sleeps."

Haymitch blinks and shakes his head at the picture before him. "I just thought I'd see if the rumors were true."

Finn looks up, tilts his head at Haymitch and asks, "Rumor?"

"I heard that you decided we were maybe worth sticking around for. That maybe you had your perfect exit and… God I…" Haymitch's cold sarcasm trails off. His eyes dart away, blinking and glistening. He stares at the floor and then from his pocket a flask appears. Haymitch uncorks it and sips from the narrow bottle mouth, clears his throat and finally he looks back at the young man studying him with one-eyed curiosity.

"What?" Finn asks with amused innocence and a little smile playing on his injured lips. "Say it, Hot Rocks. Is it really that hard for you?"

"I thought you really managed it this time. I thought you finally left me. All I could think about was how many times I let you down." Haymitch is examining his flask, polishing imagined smudges with his shirt.

Finnick rests his head back on the pillow and looks up at the ceiling. "That it?"

Haymitch sits silently shifting his weight in the chair in irritated conflict. "Why do you do this? You know everything in my heart. Why must you require it be paraded for your ego?"

Finnick laughs as if Haymitch has said something stupid. The smile vanishes, the instant he begins to speak. "The first explosion got me. Knocked me down. Pissing bad pain, screaming louder every second. Couldn't get away from the fire. Like it was slow motion. Thought I was going mad, how it crept up on me as if it was a living thing wanting to savor every exquisite inch of the agony. There was a weight on me, holding me to the floor. I didn't fight. Just watched the fire come for me and hoped it would be quick. I had such a headache. Turned my head as it reached me. I smelled it killing me. I fought then. Not really to live, just to get away from that kissing, licking suffering."

Finn glances at Haymitch but sighs that his eyes still avoid him.

"Then it was gone but the pain stayed behind. There was vibration, I couldn't really understand what it meant, but I stood and I looked down at my arm and I took a step. I was knocked down again and just decided to wait. I knew nobody would question. It was the free pass. I tried to just let it be. Closed my eyes and thought of Annie. Told her I was sorry.'

" Maybe I was dying or crazy but I was standing in the capitol as plain as day. I was on the dais. People sat in folding chairs waiting for the speaker to finish reading the crimes. You were there and they were talking about you. You laughed at them while they whipped you. The hooks ripped your skin. You were blinded. Your eyes just gory sockets and you were, bloody, shredded, all a capitol show. I shook my head and tried to comfort the girl next to me. Not Annie, it was this one here, but my arm just passed right through her. She wore chains. The show was for her benefit. She didn't cry. She just stared at you, empty and no emotion. There was something familiar in the movement of the one who was whipping you. He set down the whip finally and picked up a knife. Draw and quarter I believe they call it. That was your punishment for what you did. Her's was watching Peeta do it to you."

Haymitch looks at him. "Having prophetic visions now are you?" He snorts his nose at Finnick and a half-smile makes one eye crinkle at the edges with that indifferent humor he so often hides behind.

Finnick's head shakes slowly."I don't know. I don't. But I knew somehow, if I didn't get my ass up and get out of there, it would come to be. It was like time spun on that decision and whatever there is out there that keeps fate, it showed me the magnitudes of what we have done. I came back for you and you can't even say it." Finn looks down at Katniss. "Maybe a little for her too. But It's fine. You pretend so much, sometimes I almost wish you would for me too, a little."

Haymitch sighs and stands up. He closes his eyes and shivers in pain as he straightens. He takes the three steps to the bed with a grim smile and lays his hand gently on Finn's chest. He bends to him as if he's going to kiss him and sadly he looks Finn over carefully. "Only you have sliced and diced my heart so many times and been within my wrath without becoming personally acquainted with it. You are loved by all, so why you feel the need to demand my constant proclamation of what should live in you, I will never guess. I love you, Finn. I always will. You have no ability to change it. I do regret many things between us, sweetheart. But the important part isn't going anywhere, so try to not muck it up too much with blather. The sun rises up every day, but nobody has to announce it but cocks. Stop being such a needy rooster and just know it is there."

Haymitch bends finally to Finn's lips and gently brushes his lips with his own. "I thought you'd let it fade a little. The other day…" Finn whispers, but Haymitch's lips close to his again and he stops speaking, sighing at the taste of this man he can't love enough to give up Annie for, but can't quite forget, forgive or kick out of his heart once and for all.

"She's right. You're a box of rocks." Haymitch whispers then kisses his forehead on top of the bandages.

"Maybe I just needed to hear it." Finn justifies and looks pathetic.

"Or maybe, you just like to force me to pet your ego, knowing it annoys me?" Haymitch stands up again, holding the rails for support.

Finnick looks up at him and nods. "Once we recover a bit, I wouldn't mind a little reminder. My sunrise has noticed a definite lack of attention lately." Finn says suggestively.

"Not my fault. I didn't interrupt you on your game. You should have played goat with the little drooling princess there." Haymitch says from his chair, grunting a bit as he settles himself back down.

Finnick laughs for a few seconds. "So one way or another, she's our new Jojo? Share and share alike?"

"No. We are not replacing Jojo. I am going to rescue them. I am going to find your Annie. Her location keeps changing. It is holding us up among other small dilemmas like not having any functioning hovercrafts to speak of and radiation leaking in Deep13 . We have the others sketched out and in the works, but Annie keeps, vanishing on me. This one here, well she is something else. We must be careful with her. I mean it. She won't love us you know. Not like our Jo does. Jo will probably always be ours, but not this one. She is only ours for a while. Be thankful she see's anything at all in either of us."

"Sure you could let her go and survive it?"

"It will be pure torture, Finn. But I will have to do the same with you once I … get Annie back."

**_How do you get so empty? He wondered. Who takes it out of you? And that awful flower the other day, the dandelion! It had summed up everything, hadn't it? 'What a shame! You're not in love with anyone!' And why not?" ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451_**

Finn brushes a strand of hair from Kantniss' face, kindness in his eyes as he turns his head back to Haymitch. "Are you so sure it's Peeta?"

"Not certain at all. But her list of candidates that exist is far out of my league in any sort of worthy life companion. It keeps me from being foolish. I have every intent to be a little selfish, but not foolish. I will see you and this girl in happiness, or die in the attempt to give it to you."

Finn frowns, "But where does that leave you? Alone? Or do you hope Effie can be returned to sanity? She can't even speak or feed herself."

Haymitch shakes his head and narrows his eyes. "My entanglements are none of your concern. Should I happen to not die before this mess is over, not being burdened with all the expectations that are involved in being tied to another may give me a new lease on life. God knows you have put me through enough shit for ten lifetimes, all by yourself."

Finn huffs softly then sneers. "You have been no pot of sunbeams, you know. I just wanted to know…that you wouldn't be … lonely. That's all. You're going to have to find someone who doesn't tick you off every time they try to be affectionate or you will—"

"I'll what? Die alone and forgotten, peacefully in my bed? Sounds like a gift, not a punishment. I should be so lucky." His voice rises just above the hissing whisper they have maintained in order to not disturb Katniss.

"Haymitch?" Finnick's eye and the little tilt of his head plead for Haymitch to stop acting like it doesn't matter. Finn knows his love for Annie hurt Haymitch years ago. They have worked through much of it, but there is still some burr between them that has affected the way the Haymitch and he act now. Finn knows Haymitch doesn't resent Annie, but he knows it isn't all out in the open either. Finn had lied to Haymitch. They had never been exclusive of course, but there had been some narrowed and exquisite trust that had been complete. Finnick had lost Haymitch's trust and though it had in time mended, there were still small riffs and holes between them. How so much baggage could have ever come to be was a mystery. Not all of it could be blamed on the capitol directly either. Finn felt shame that he had put it there.

Finn's voice is patient, low and without jest as he tries to connect a few broken pieces. "I want you to be happy, someday. I just don't think you realize what you mean to some people. You know I love you, even though it seems to pain you to hear it. You are different with her. You talk to her. Like we used to."

Haymitch rolls his eyes. "Oh sure, we gab like gassy old women. I don't have time right now to worry about my retirement. There are over six-hundred canisters of potential death floating around this joint, and an army waiting just over the horizon to pick us off should we miss a few. I realize you are in your chemically enhanced happy land of rainbows, but I didn't stop by to play mushy face with you."

"All I am saying is don't count her out just yet? You know it occurred to me, a lot of what ifs. What if she ends up losing more than she can take? How will she raise it alone?" Finnick places his hand on her barely bulging middle protectively.

"Getting all shielding there? Never saw a man with such baby lust. You always did fawn upon every knocked-up thing in the city." Haymitch gave a satisfied breath from his nose; certain he'd scored a hit by the look on Finn's face as he frowned.

"She should have a husband. It should have a father." Finn's voice drips with stubborn surety.

"Please, there will be an army of brave knights glittering and gifting for the fair Mockingjay's attention. You worry about the silliest things. Who wouldn't want to ride her tail feathers when it's all over?"

"Gold diggers and climbers. Nobody who will matter to her or fool her heart. You need to prepare yourself for that possible obligation, Hay." Finn glares at him as if he is the older smarter one.

Haymitch looks like he swallowed hovercraft fuel with a match chaser. "You are implying what?"

Finnick chuckles and sighs. It takes him a minute to answer. "I am saying, fatherhood may be thrust upon your grouchy ass and you might consider giving it a little thought. Our planned candidate has no guarantee that he won't get his broody little head blown off. Peeta may never be brought home. The father is dead to the best of our knowledge. I am unavailable one way or another. That leaves you. So maybe you should consider that roll a bit and see if you can't be a little, less…this, with her. It won't kill you to show her that you care for her. Not just as mentor and general pain in her backside. A complement here and there wouldn't end life on the planet you know? And maybe, a thought or two about how you'd deal with such life altering …gifts in your future. Maybe, less drinking would be a start. You did without it for almost five months, Haymitch. Just something to consider."

"Here we go. You have been doing a lot of scheming about this. Maybe you should just mind your own business. That would be a nice change of pace. Sorry to cut our joyful bash short, sweetheart, but I have bigger problems to deal with and very little time to fix it before we all turn rancid. Nice chatting with you." Haymitch spins his chair and heads out the door.

Finn flops his head back on the pillow, irritated. "Thanks for stopping by, Hot Rocks. It's always a pleasure."

"Thanks for sticking around, Fish boy. It's always a surprise." Haymitch curses as he bumps the door frame and jolts himself. He backs up and makes it through on the second pass.

**_But now, tonight, he slowed almost to a stop. His inner mind, reaching out to turn the corner for him, had heard the faintest whisper. Breathing? Or was the atmosphere compressed merely by someone standing very quietly there, waiting?_**

**_He turned the corner." ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451_**

He wheels down the hall of the hospital wing glaring at anyone who looks like they may try to smile at him or attempt to exchange pleasantries. He is in the elevator, mind wandering cautiously toward the subject Finnick had brought up. At first he is aggravated by the thought of having to be responsible for a drooling poop factory, but something softens him as he remembers how sweet a baby smells. His brother, nine years younger than he was, had been such an agreeable little child when he was just bathed and fed and letting his big brother make faces at him by the warmth of the fire.

Haymitch closes his eyes and the scent is recalled. He wondered what they would all think of him if he revealed he could change a diaper. He could even make them like an expert. He could still feel his fingers quilting the rags carefully and the feeling of secret pride when his mother was complemented on his cunningly decorated nappies.

Haymitch had made his first trade at the Hob with Ripper's Grandpa for a set of his colorful baby drawers. He needed white lightening to make the cough syrup that kept his mother from taking a chill as she surfaced. The mines were so hot, then they would surface and the sweat would freeze their clothing to them as they made the way home. He wondered how she stood the mines, much less the talk. He cared for his half-brother when she had to be gone at night. His brother's last name being Abernathy was a euphemistic politeness. He was the product of his mother's desperate need to make up the income now that his father had 'disappeared'. When kids at school had called his brother 'Sport' he'd met their remarks with his fists.

Haymitch could still remember actually liking the sewing. The neighbor lady had been kind enough to teach him. His mother's fingers didn't have the coordination to hold a needle any longer. She had been injured while his father was still alive. It wasn't a lazy nature that left her youngest in wetness. Haymitch had not taken to it immediately, but it had grown to his taste as his skill had improved. His mother had said perhaps he should be put in bond to the Tailor, but Haymitch had raised the roof at that idea. He'd actually been very good at it, precisely fitting them and earning them some extra coin with his skill. Maybe, if he had not been reaped, he would have let his mother dream a little of him one day being a town man.

He'd impressed Cinna once or twice. The girl would need a good set of fine seam nappies, with turned frills and gathers at the legs. There was no telling what sort of powder laden tushy wrap might be passed for a diaper here in this place. He would make her a set. No need for her to ever suspect he stitched them himself.

For a moment, if anyone could have seen him, they would have found Haymitch Abernathy with a faraway smile of longing and eyes filled with tears and stars. His heart flooded with warmth and as the elevator doors opened, anyone who looked, would have seen him mutter to himself and quickly set his face to its hateful sneer. He lifts his sleeve to his eyes and quickly wipes away the evidence that he could be swayed to find himself taking to idea of being someone's beloved so easily it frightened him.

"How's our boy?" Plutarch asks as Haymitch enters the Bridge. "Little birdie still cheering him up?" he is stooped over, typing and has a bland smile on his lips as fake as Effie's pink hair.

"He can't be too bad off. He's nosy, obnoxious and needy as always. The girl is using him for a pillow, so he was bored enough to pester me more than normal."

"That's nice." Plutarch says distracted.

"What has you so attentive? Tap into the capitol porn station again? Beetee is quite the blessing to us isn't he?" Haymitch asks as he loads up his own computer and the screens blink and sputter to life.

"I wish. Sending out calls, it should be hitting your cuff any second." He stands back up straight and stretches and rolls his neck as if it's stiff before turning to Haymitch. "You do still have it with you?" one eyebrow rises as he looks at Haymitch's empty wrist.

Haymitch pats around a bit looking for it then sighs with a shrug, admitting he has no idea where it has disappeared to this time.

"You know, anyone could pick it up. What the hell is your problem? Are you five years old?" Plutarch picks up a soft rubber ball that has escaped the exercise equipment pile in the corner and hurls it at Haymitch angrily.

Haymitch ducks it easily and looks contrite as he changes the subject. "So, where are we on the scavenger hunt?"

"Still almost fifty to locate and the clock is ticking. We are meeting in a half-bell. Room 3007. You would know that if you could manage to keep that damned thing on your wrist where it belongs."

"Oh well, some rapturous female will probably deliver it any moment. You don't expect me to wear it while I repopulate the district do you?" Haymitch says this just to get under Plutarch's craw.

The younger man laughs. "I'd worry that that was precisely what you might be up to except for the knowledge that your torch is scorched to badly to be a danger to the local gene pool."

"Hurts like a bitch too, by the way."

"Well, that is a perfect example of why you should keep your Cuff on at all times. Idiot."

Haymitch looks up at him and bellows, "I was in the damned hospital. I didn't take it off, they did. Didn't know I'd be getting the crispy bucket of shit at that time. What is your problem?"

Plutarch sighs. "It's a long fucking list old friend." He leans on the table dead serious. "We lost district ten. I think."

"The capitol rallied there? But they were secure, just two gorilla pockets left."

"I don't know. All communication is down. I have sent one of our two last operating hovers to assess, but I don't understand at all."

"When did this happen?"

"Twenty minutes ago. If you'd been wearing—"

"Oh shut up about that and hit the good parts." Haymitch immediately begins hammering away at his own console.

"Won't do you any good. Beetee is working on it, but there was no warning. No alert. Not even a call for help. All communications normal. The only thing we have is this little snip. Then all towers went dark."

Haymitch turns and watches the feed. All is quiet then strange figures slink into view. They are not rebels. They are about as far from Capitol Peacekeepers as could be imagined. On all the camera angles there is nothing then the buildings and streets swarm with ugly, hairy creatures that would be called human only by innocuous standards. They move with the grace of animals and seem to communicate with guttural grunts, whistles and snorts. One walks toward the camera, face covered in long dirty whiskers and a grin of pure evil shining in his laughing eyes. He pauses, sticking his eye very close to the camera then from between his scum flecked lips a stream of brown juice arcs toward the lens, fully obstructing all view as it lands on its target. Other cameras receive similar treatment, though without the flair of the close up and moments later the whole district system winks out.

Plutarch smirks at Haymitch's stunned face. "Now you tell me ole buddy? What the hell was that?"

Haymitch shakes his head. He stares at the blank screen. "No answer of any kind."

"So my list has grown. Let's see… Our Mockingjay is preggers with the enemy's grandmonster. You are about a cup and a half above bleeding out. 12 is gone. Our alliance with nuke-Mamma is gone and here's the best part, there are no Nukes. She has been bluffing all this time. Oh there are some hundred and twenty year old hunks of rusted and probably radioactive trash barrels the size of buildings down there, but they are undoubtedly only dangerous to us. And we are 12 hours away from fumigation and battle with Coin, who still has hovercrafts by the way. District two has burrowed into a mountain. They are dying by the thousands in eight. The hospitals are as lethal to our men as the other sides soldiers. District four is wracked with some dysentery like crap, hitting capitol and rebel alike, like the plague. People are dropping in the streets without any battle being waged, they are quarantined until we can figure out what this nightmare is. I have slept 6 hours in the last two weeks and now Sasquatch and a few of his friends have decided to expand their diet from a poop like brown substance which they stream out like grasshoppers, to good capitol beef. To the beef we have secured to feed the very troops standing between us and our most darling Rose of Benevolent Sorrow, who will spend the next twenty years raping me in the ass with a cactus, while you and all our friends are slowly skinned and salted then repaired for new horrors until they make servile arena Mutts of you all Want to make jokes now Haymitch? Please. I need a good laugh."

"Well don't sugar coat it, H-Bee, just tell me what part has your panties gathered."

Plutarch Heavensbee stands there with his mouth open, then his eyes go a little wild and he throws his head back in an insanely evil chuckle. "I could be home right now. Planning and politicking among the parties and wallowing in the delicious scandal of our age. I could be between Deidra Effingham's legs this very second, listening to her profess her undying love for me as I keep one ear on the door for her husband. I could be stuffed with candied Cocks-tongue and Crème Brule, visiting the vomitorium and looking forward to cherry chocolate cordials right now. But no. I wanted to make history. I wanted to change the world. I must be insane. Instead of cherishing the luxury my position finally afforded me, I listened to the drunken has-been ass-candy of district 12. All your pretty words and assurances. Here I am?"

Haymitch winks and a genuine smile pulls his face into a charming form of sarcasm. "So, no regrets, right?"

Heavensbee seems to contemplate the question for a moment then he sighs sadly. His voice is soft and low, "Well, I do miss Deidra."

Haymitch sighs with him, "We all do. God I wonder what color she picked this year."

Heavensbee grins, "She hasn't dyed it purple in ages."

"Purple. I loved her in purple." Haymitch agrees.

"You ready to see if we should break out the little purple pills or see if we can pull off the impossible a few more times." Heavensbee pretends like he's going to punch Haymitch, but it is just boyish antics and Haymitch pulls a pretend frightened face and head snap as Plutarch's fist contacts Haymitch's jaw in slow motion.

"Well we absolutely can't keep discussing this subject. I don't dare chance wood, probably bleed out or wish I could," Haymitch complains.

"I imagine that's the most honest thing I have heard out of you since I met you, Hay Bitch." Plutarch opens the door and waits for Haymitch to roll through.

"I told you a couple months ago you smelled like ass. I wasn't lying about that, you know." Haymitch says with mock offence.

"Yes you were. Trying to cover up that it was you who reeked."

The room is rumbling with voices, as they arrive. From down the hall, an occasional crystalline laugh breaks from the others, shrill and unnerving. A look around the room reveals the source is the head field medic. Haymitch has dealt with her a little. She was responsible for the well trained crew who had responded to the explosion in the hover bay. Stupid sounding laugh or not, she deserved his respect and his heartfelt thanks.

Plutarch has begun his long depressing list of updates to the group. The mood is dower as some begin to realize the fragility of the rebellion. Eyes are darting around in concern. Katniss wheels in the room late pushing a relaxed smiling Finnick Odair. Plutarch pauses as they enter, but knowing that it must have been troublesome to get Finnick up and here at all, he takes no offence to the tardy. He continues where he left off.

Katniss' eyes search for Gale, giving him the once over just to make sure he is hole free, as reported. He glances at her companion and a knowing smirk of disgust sets on his face as his eyes deliberately turn forward again.

"We have something disturbing that we must show you. Please watch this feed carefully and if anyone has any input, please feel free to share with the class," Plutarch says with his most dower serious tone.

He clicks the play button and the silent room becomes noisy with sounds of shock and disgust.

**_"In the silence, our stage whisper might carry." ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451_**

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><p><strong><em>More when I can. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews. If you like this story and would like to know some of the backstoryish places that Finn and Haymitch have referenced, read Haymitch the Horrible, Dance Cards, and Rome Smolders – there are references to these stories in this one…They are not perfect (In one dance card Haymitch references that Katniss is his daughter –which is not the case here….but if you want a better picture of the facets of Finnick and Haymitch – and their Jojo – you may want to take a look )– as I said it isn't a perfect mesh on some details due to the evolution of this story – but there is enough crossover that you will feel like it belongs here.<em>**


	19. Chapter 19

**Pleasure to burn - Chapter nineteen**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn19  
><strong>Summary<strong>:_ Gale and Finn don't approve of each other but both know good strategy. A wary respect develops. The fumigation and battle with Coin's followers is planned._  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**:

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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><p><em><strong>"They're Caeser's praetorian guard, whispering as the parade roars down the avenue, "Remember, Caeser, thou art mortal." ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451<strong>_

"Are they mutts?" the first murmured question split the group on if the District Ten attackers were man or beast.

"What do they want? Where did they come from?" disorganized chatter filled the room.

Plutarch and Haymitch listened carefully to the comments with both interest and baffled amusement at the remote explanations people were dreaming up. Haymitch glanced at Plutarch and they shared a like-minded eye roll. This was a waste of time.

A deep voice cut through the murmuring. "They are wild ones. Walk abouts. I have run across them in the past." All eyes turn to Gale Hawthorn. He stands and though his face colors a bit, he clears his throat and shoving his hands in his pockets, weight on one foot and a casual slouch to his stance, he continues, "They live in the woods around District Twelve too. Though I never imagined there could be that many who could survive long. I have run across them when I hunted in the deep woods. Mostly sign of them, but I caught glimpses of them a few times. They keep to themselves, and I moved on so there wasn't much call to make friends, but the ones I saw didn't seem to want a fight."

"Where do they come from?" someone asked.

Gale shrugged, "Well I figure most of 'em used to be us. Five, ten fellows would get what we called walkabout madness every year and one day they just didn't come home. It seemed to hit in spring mostly and they passed out pills for it at the mines. Once a year in the schools too, just before reaping. They were afraid it would strike and spread though the miners like any other chest bug. We'd search a little, and wait, but everybody knew they had left. It was said they went mad, but I can't say really. I mean some of them; well you'd have to be crazy to leave everyone you love behind. Can't say I didn't think about it too, but…" His eyes fall on Katniss, guilty and yet searching her face for some sign she remembered. "I had too many mouths to feed."

"I thought the capitol would hunt them down. That girl we saw. She was our Avox during the games, Gale. They were so far from home and the capitol was on their tail still." Katniss says, now realizing how close he'd been to doing it with or without her. Had he changed his mind because of her or did he simply mean to slip away after the reaping, wanting more time to convince her. But things didn't go as he'd planned. She had wanted to go in winter and intended to take her loved ones with her. She'd had no idea the woods were not empty of all but animals. He'd refused, wanting to make war by that time.

"Oh they did hunt them down. But only if they were important." Haymitch adds. "The ones who just disappeared, were often left to let the forest deal with them. There were a few who came back, sick, starved and indeed mad by that time. Just fueled the belief and fear that escaping wasn't an option. Of course the capitol let it go on because it gave them the ability to have anyone assassinated and never have any district get fired up about it. If public execution wasn't easily arranged for some supposed crime, they could still get to you by claiming sickness. Kept people from rallying around the family, helping them or offering too much in the way of friendship. People were afraid they may be infected as well. For almost a year after my father stopped coming home, people would cover their faces, refuse to trade with us. Wasn't long after that, maybe three years, they started passing out the pills."

"So you think it's possible that these wild people could have somehow banded together and taken over District Ten? They knew how to knock out communications? I'd love to see how they figured out how to do that." Beetee says in a disbelieving tone.

"Well, how hard could it be?" a voice from the back of the room says quietly.

Beetee rarely lets things get to him, but he found this comment as insulting as if Finnick had been told he was average looking. "If you aren't me, it's almost impossible. They didn't knock them down or wreck the equipment. They didn't destroy my programing. It still answers me, but won't respond to my commands. There is nothing the matter with the signals. They shut down my code, rerouted it. Think of it like this, they took my hands and made them play the piano, or in this case, refuse to play. Look at them. We still haven't voted that they are human and you're saying they are fluent in advanced programming? You think they could just walk in and start speaking WinLow A-900? Most of the KaVecky safeguards on this system, I didn't learn. I invented them." He huffs as he adjusts his glasses.

"Beetee, nobody meant to insult you. Half of us don't know what you mean now." Finn says with a sweet smile. "I locked up the mentor's system four times during the 71st and still have no idea how it happened. So maybe they were just lucky too?"

"Yes, Finn, you locked it up. You set off the security measures. These people didn't. That is my point in fact, they used my backdoor and didn't get locked out. They walked through the equivalent of an iron wall and they didn't set off a single alarm." Beetee explains with a patience not shared by his expression. He has been slapped in the face by this District Ten event and he is taking it personally.

Haymitch frowns then asks quietly, "Who could do that? How many people could have managed it Beetee?"

Beetee squints and raises his head as if reading fine print on the ceiling. "Three maybe. None of the others that might have managed it are alive."

"You sure?"

Beetee pushes his glasses up again and nods.

"Well, then first we get them accounted for. Maybe that will give us a lead on what the Sam hell they want. Maybe we can negotiate with them. Dammit this is where we need Effie Trinket and Undersee. Finnick, are you capable of keeping your bubbles from popping long enough to try to open communications with these people?"

"I can try. No promises, but I think my bubbles are pretty safe for the moment." Finn gives him a narrow eye but his voice is cucumber silk.

"So, we are back to our most pressing matter. Coin, her canisters, and how we want to address this pathetic mess we have been forced into. Do we attack, defend, negotiate with the devil or take our lumps and back down?" Haymitch has no intent of doing the last selection and his face warned anyone who suggested that was the best option that they may be the next decorative tree ornament up on the surface.

Plutarch smirks, "Just to be clear, the last two are not an alternative. The price they would demand is handing over the Mockingjay. They want to bow out of our conflict and have made a deal with Snow. They hand her over, and it's all a 'do over' for 13."

"That double crossing…" This revelation seems to put an end to all discussion. Not one person meant to turn Katniss over to save their own skin.

They weigh the options of attack and defend. There aren't many plus sides. If they attack, it will be them on the ground shooting little bullets at hovercrafts while they either fly out of range and drop bombs or they could try for a surprise attack and hope it works fast enough that they don't hop in the hovercrafts and enter the underground while it is mostly undefended. They can take a defend-the-fortress stance effectively making themselves prisoners within their own stronghold. There is arguing and pleading for both options.

Gale sits silently for a long time. When he finally speaks in his deep baritone, he doesn't need to shout to still the room. The power of his confident oblique words hush everyone when he says, "You have to stop thinking like movie stars and think like hunters. Both of the plans have already failed. Battle is about victory, not just trying not to lose. Battle is not won meeting them on their terms. Battle is like hunting. It's all about fooling them into believing that what they want is easily taken. Animals all want water so you snare them as they make their way to it, keeping the danger of the snare hidden. If you want a fish, you don't show them the hook, only the bait. In battle the fish is trying to hook you too. So our first objective, after removing the enemy's hooks, is to figure out what they want for bait."

He stops speaking for a minute, glancing around the room. An older man stands up. He's been with Snow's peacekeepers for thirty years and he knows a lot about supply and seems to have great ability keeping an army mobile and geared up to fight. His ability to predict the best place to deliver chronically limited resources has save many lives and he has earned the respect of Heavensbee a hundred times over. "Well that sounds nice youngin', but the grown-ups are talking in the real world of blood and guts. We are killing people, not cute little bunnies right now and we don't have much choice here. We have to attack them, no matter the odds. We have to go all out. Sitting here with our thumbs up our craw will leave us and our troops stranded, hell there isn't much we can do for them, but if we let them skunk us out of this hole, then the rest of them may as well surrender now."

Gale glowers at him, but he doesn't back down. "So we run out there half-cocked and charge with the armor of right on our side and hope for divine intervention?"

The old peacekeeper snorts and gets a look on his face like Gale has just made an ass of himself. "No son. We go out there with every resource we can pull together, and we fight our best, hoping to catch them by surprise. The initial strike decides the battle. We get them before they get us. It's how Snow has stayed in power all this time. He knocks them senseless and never gives an inch. You may be the greatest hunter to ever live, but you have a lot to learn about the real world."

"Sure that strategy works in some cases. It worked for him because he sent well-armed, well-fed, trained forces against unarmed women and children and exhausted, half-starved men too bone-weary to put up any kind of a fight. He knew his enemy. We are not in that position. The battle right here should have warned you what an error it was to go against them man for man. "

"We won in case you didn't notice. We have this place and they are on a camping trip instead of sleeping in their warm comfortable beds." He seems to have forgotten all the others in the room as he zeros in on Gale.

"We didn't win a damned thing. They planned to leave from the beginning. We fought for nothing. The men we lost on the hover bays, died for nothing. They did exactly what they intended which was to escape and let the canisters gas us. That was the victory. They have planned for us to die down here or crawl to the surface to be picked off. Even if we march out to wherever they are, we will never surprise them. Army's don't move in silence. They flew to their bolt spot, we have to hump it through the forest. Carry food, ammo, all our gear. We will be tired when we get there, they will be fresh and the forest will warn them we come if there is one hunter among them. The birds will give our location away. They will stir, take flight and one pair of eyes is all they will need to see us coming for miles. You have fought a different enemy in a different terrain. You will doom us all if you bring your rules to a whole new game."

"We only have two choices. Take your pick boy. One or another."

"No, we make them think they are getting what they want. They want us dead to the last child. They want to hand her body over to Snow and lick their wounds. That's what they want most. Everything else is just permutations of that goal. We have to fool them into thinking they are getting it."

"Heavenbee, I can't seem to get through to this boy, its—"

"No. Hawthorne is on to something here." Finnick interrupts.

"Wonderful," the supply sergeant says with a huge exaggerated wilt back down to his seat. He set his face to an amused dark aloofness, crossed his arms and legs and slouched in his chair as if he would wait for the children to settle before wasting his time explaining what must be done inevitably.

"Go on Finn," Haymitch says knowing that Finn may not be the most brilliant mind among them, but he was incredibly gifted in understanding larger pictures. He had practically thrived under Snows terrible punishments, because of his gift of finding the impossible path and turning it to his advantage.

"All's fair in love and war. That means they are alike. Seduction is like what he says. You have to figure out what the other person wants and tempt them with it, never letting them have all they think they are getting. You lie. You create illusions. Then you move in for the kill," Finn says.

Gale has the slightest curl of a smile on his face. He is shocked to have Finnick Odair be the first to fully comprehend what he's saying. He may not like the man around Katniss, but he has to admit, him being the one to back him up in this room is a surprise. "We need to wine and dine them?"

Finn laughs and nods, "Yes. We have to make them think we are easy to obtain, play to their arrogance. Promise them a good time, then crush their little hearts in our fists and while they weep, we kick them until they do exactly what we want." Finn sounds like his devious capitol self, right then.

Gale meets Katniss' eyes and twists his head so subtly anyone else would miss it. She read his signal as plain as the danger signs that hung on the fence in district 12. He wanted her to acknowledge his point had just been proved about who her new buddy really was as a person. He was amused he would admit it, but to Katniss, he may as well have jumped up and down and shouted 'I told You Sooo' like a child on the playground. She glared at him, telling him not to believe everything is what it seems. He blinked and curled one side of his mouth. 'Ok, little Catnip, you're just a kid and I know more than you do,' the action said.

The exchange made both of them miss part of what Haymitch said, "…can be done if we tempt them then narrow their field of choices. They want us dead. They want to walk in here and to silence and death. All of us and any of their own who betrayed them. We can give it to them if we have the stomach for it." Haymitch has a small smile on his face, but it is the farthest thing from friendly imaginable. His face is blackened with evil light and a strange surety that this whole meeting is again his baby. Katniss watches him, more curious and fascinated then afraid of him, despite all she knew.

"Well the quiet is easy enough. Putting them off guard, convincing them we are dead, is another matter. We can't just lie down on the floor and hope they buy it." Gale says turning to Haymitch.

Haymitch looks over the crowd, taking a few second to say his intended idea. "We have the props available." He meets the eyes of the room and stands straight, arms crossed as if bracing for a fight. He drops his head, but looks around the room again, hard and firm. "We have enough bodies to convince them, if we have the balls to let our dead loved ones save our lives. They could be sparsely staged to prove nothing is alive down here. We could lead them into the auditorium, close the doors behind them and play by the rules they implemented. Their own canisters, for our purposes."

"You mean stack bodies around as if they died from the gas? They may notice that they are burned and have holes in them. It won't fool them and that is one of the most horrible things I have ever heard of." The head medic says clearly from her seat.

"It would mean we kill them all. Haymitch some of them don't want to be there. They will switch sides as soon as she's defeated?" Katniss says much less concerned for the dead and more frightened for the living.

"Yes. It would mean killing them all. You can't always separate the chaff from the grain sweetheart. In this case, which ones do we owe a chance and which ones will sabotage us for the kindness of sparing them?" Haymitch adds, forehead wrinkling as he asks.

"We can't just kill them all." Her face is pained at the thought.

"We can't ask the nice ones to please stand in line two either. And we will also need to figure out how we get them all in the auditorium at one time. Leading them there with tragic props is easy, but it will take live bait to get them all in." he says carefully.

"Me? You mean, me?"

He swallows and nods.

"No. Not happening." Gale moves forward standing between Katniss and Haymitch. "You are not putting her in danger. That's insanity!"

Haymitch looks grimly at Gale, then over to Katniss. "Do you trust me, sweetheart?"

Katniss blinks several times rapidly. She glances at Finn who looks almost as shocked as Gale, but not quite as angry. She sighs and nods. "Of course. Whatever you need."

Haymitch's eyes shine for a split second, just for her, then his face hardens again as he explains his plan. Katniss listens, liking the idea less by the second. They will put on a show as the last stronghold, hoping to hang on until the district 13 soldiers surround them. The doors close and hopefully she and her entourage will be extracted at the last second. Gale argues every point, but Katniss sits stoically, not quite dazed, but not quite listening either. She feels like another prop. A useless decorative pretty, not a soldier whose actions will make a difference.

"_**I'll tell you," said Beatty, smiling at his cards. "That made you for a little while a drunkard. Read a few lines and off you go over the cliff. Bang, you're ready to blow up the world, chop off heads, knock down women and children, destroy authority. I know. I've been through it all." ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451**_

The preparations are heart wrenching. The stylists work magic on the deceased. Close up, some were still obviously not quite right, but staged with light and shadow and copious amounts of makeup, the bodies would convince the troops who would only make limited inquiry of the dead.

Haymitch ordered two frequencies for communicuffs. One was District 13's long used channel on which a fake play would be acted out for the enemy. The other would be the one used to coordinate the traps. This is Beetee's own secret frequency he'd established after he and Haymitch had decided that all was not sunbeams and brotherly love here in the land of opportunity.

Gale was happy with the plan except for the small detail of what was to be used as bait. He had no issue with pretending she was on the block for capture, but truly making her visible, essentially dangling her before their noses, didn't set well with him. Once the meeting ended, he and Haymitch ended up screaming at each other over this issue.

Katniss listened to them, but she just didn't care. She was too busy trying to figure out how to spare the people willing to surrender. She didn't want to be tucked away safely. If she wasn't in the middle of the main event, she would have no hope of rescuing any of the people. The man in the chamber kept returning to her mind. How many among them this moment had relatives trapped fighting for a side they did not choose. She was determined to find a way to save anyone who would join them.

She kept her plans and her thoughts to herself. If she failed, the consequences might cost her her existence. Katniss is lost, weighing her life and the life of her child to the possibility of saving fifty or a hundred lives. What happens to the women and children left behind? Are they welcome or will they hate the rebels for the destruction of every last man? Will those children grow up so filled with hate that the evil of one becomes the evil of many?

Would this child she carries ever be safe or would they hate it? How did it have any chance really? Its lineage may have saved it from an arena once, but who would save it if they won. The grandchild of a dictator and the child of a woman whose name was used to bring horror, in payment for welcome. The women and children had offered friendship and kindness, only their leader, Alma Coin, had been responsible for this internal battle. It was not right to judge people on the actions of their dictator. She would not want to be judged by the actions of Coriolanus Snow. She doesn't notice what is taking place in the room until she hears Gale hand Haymitch an ultimatum.

"You do this Abernathy, and she comes to harm, then you better hope I die. If I don't, I will come for you and I swear nothing will protect you from paying that debt. I don't care how big of a bad ass you think you are and time will be nothing, because I will find you. No matter how long it takes or what I have to do. Do you understand what I'm saying?" Gale is full of contained fury.

"Gale, no—" Katniss says softly with a little shake of her head and pain in her eyes.

Haymitch stands and towers over Gale. He may be wounded, but he still has no concept of the condition. "I think I get the idea, boy. Good luck. You will find a long line of people who want me slow roasted on a spit, standing in front of you."

Gale glances at Katniss, just as annoyed with her for not refusing Haymitch's intent. He turns back to Haymitch unaffected by Katniss' pleading eyes. "Just because you're still breathing, doesn't mean I won't have the pit fired up if you fail. They may be there first, but I'll be the one who counts." Gale leans forward and narrows his eyes, unafraid.

"Then you can take the blame, Hawthorne. You will be in charge of keeping my Mockingjay safe. You won't be leading a squad this time. You will be in command of her alone. Trust me, that ought to keep you busy. I will have my wolves with you, but I can tell you this right back. If she comes to harm, and you don't die protecting her, then no horror you have ever imagined will match the debt I will exact from you." Haymitch counters.

Gale smirks and makes a noise of disgust. "Your Mockingjay? You think you own her? That's all she is to you. A thing to be used. A toy to be seduced. Flesh to sacrifice? I thought once that you loved her, but you would never put her in harm like this if you did. Too bad too, because when she figures it all out…"Gale looks over at Katniss again and bites his lips closed, refusing to continue. He takes a deep breath, as if to calm down.

"Be careful boy. I do have a limit to my patience. You're a brilliant young man, for someone so blind. Don't think you know everything. You know a lot, but not everything." Haymitch is amused and his voice is deeper, more resonant. Katniss now knows the tone, though nothing like what he used in the chamber, she knows Haymitch is getting ready to manipulate Gale in some fashion. Now that she's seen it up close, she is hyper aware of how his voice tone is a deliberate choice Haymitch uses like a tool.

"I know what she feels. I know why she says yes to you. You're a sick bastard. But I really thought it was different with her. This? Right here?" Gale smirks and shakes his head. Their eyes are locked in battle glaring thunder cloud to steel, both glimmering with power and conviction. "Proves it's just about you."

"That's right Hawthorne, I gave up everything I spent twenty years building, just so I could seduce a clueless little girl. If that were my only plan, boy, I promise I could have gotten around to it by now. This was not ready to be begun. We needed another year. One more year and I could have stomped the capitol into the ground in six months. But. The Quell took place and it was a devastating blow to us all. It damned near broke more than your little heart over the bird in the bush you yearned for like a spoiled brat. It sent everything into chaos. Has it crossed your mind? Have you once thought of all the events that led us here?" Haymitch is nearly hypnotic in the way he speaks.

Gale's head is tilted, but his voice is low and soft. "You had no choice. It happened when it happened, whether you were ready or not." Gale states as if it's obvious.

"Really? Like I said. Blind. I was in no danger. Sure, some of us were on the chopping block. And she would have died horribly, but even that really wasn't going to affect the big picture. Brutus or Finnick would have won. Our little Mockingjay would have been just as effective as a martyr. A rallying cry that would have turned even the hardest capitol heart to our cause. The images of her and her lover in tragic eternal sorrow would have served me much better than the half-assed rescue I managed. I wasn't expecting your little disaster either. Have you told her?"

Gale drops his eyes. "Go to hell."

Haymitch maintains his focus, waiting for Gale's eyes to return to his. When they do, Haymitch continues. " I would have been smarter to leave her to fate. I could have let them rape her and brutalize her until she begged for death. I could have made a deal, maybe talked Finnick into letting much of it be only for the cameras. Let him pretend a moment of rage and accidently made the actual expiration less horrific and kept my head in the bottle to survive it."

Katniss glanced at Finn, embarrassed. She saw in his eyes, this was not new information to him. What he'd said on the roof, about not letting them hurt her, dawned on her. If Haymitch had failed to get the hovercraft, Finn had been told to win. She smiled at him, unable to hide that she understood he knew he couldn't do it. He'd planned to die protecting her instead. Finn shrugged and dropped his eyes. Haymitch didn't know Finn had not planned to follow orders.

" I did that forty-six times before her. I could have waited until I knew I could win. I could have been cautious and let her go. Let Finn live or die. It was the smarter plan in the long run. Why didn't I do that?" Haymitch reasons, his words hitting Katniss like snakebite, painful and swelling.

"You tell me? And her, right now, without the bullshit." Gale dares.

Haymitch smiles with half his face, in pure hatred. "It wasn't for me. It wasn't all for her either. But, she was the stone that tipped the bucket. I rarely care about anyone very deeply, but she changed the rules. Seduce her? I will. Fair warning, boy. If you plan to keep her, part of her will always belong to me."

Gale punches him without warning. Haymitch sees it coming and deflects most of the power, but he is injured enough that his reactions are slower than normal. Finnick is on Gale without a second thought. He steps on a chair and crashes into Gale like he's jumping off the high dive. They tumble hard to the floor and Katniss moves to look Haymitch over.

"I'm fine, sweetheart."

"You deserved it," Katniss says angry.

"Ha!" Gale grunts from his position under a smiling Finnick.

Katniss spins on him. "Oh, don't you sound so pleased. You are as big of an ass as he is. How dare you both sit there and act like you decide my fate. It's a good plan and it's my choice. I said yes. And Haymitch, you told him to kill me if the bread didn't come didn't you? You put that on Finn, didn't you?"

_**She had a very thin face like the dial of a small clock seen faintly in a dark room in the middle of a night when you waken to see the time and see the clock telling you the hour and the minute and the second, with a white silence and a glowing, all certainty and knowing what it had to tell of the night passing swiftly on toward further darknesses, but moving also toward a new sun." ― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451**_

Haymitch sighs and chews his lip, but doesn't say a word.

"Guess what boys, sometimes I have a few plans of my own."

"Which always suck." Haymitch says out of habit.

"Yeah. So I've heard. Finn, you get done feeling up Mr. Hawthorne, I bet you and I could figure out something a lot more entertaining than watching these two show off? If you aren't too injured after whatever that was." Finn grins his capitol smile, bright and seductive as Gale growls and forces him off him.

" I think I can manage, baby-doll, so long as you're gentle with me. Like last time." He says and bounces his eyebrows at Gale just to rub it in.

Haymitch glowers, his eyes glitter with malice. Katniss smiles at Haymitch and Gale as Finnick makes a show of offering her his arm. "Katniss?" Finn questions not understanding why she wants to make more hard feelings between Gale and Haymitch.

"Do you need the wheelchair?" she asks, ignoring his confused look.

"Not really, just liked you being all sweet and concerned." He says with a wink.

Katniss takes his arm and turns just before she walks out the door. "Try not to kill each other. No hard feelings dear ones, I just feel like having sex with a grown-up at this moment."

Haymitch knocks a chair over. "Hey Finn, should I have the goat sent to your room or hers?"

Katniss and Finnick grin at the comment, but they laugh when they hear Gale demanding to know what Haymitch was trying to say.

_**"So they must have their game out, thought Montag. The circus must go on, even with war beginning within the hour..." p. 134 Fahrenheit 451**_

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><p><em><strong>Thanks for your lovely reviews and alerts - Yes there will be more Cinna but not for a few chapters. Yes my Mom is slightly better, thank you all for your well wishes. And 666 -Lol -You turned my Muse into fetish boy! Hehehe - how's this?<strong>_


	20. Chapter 20

**Pleasure to burn - Chapter twenty**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn20  
><strong>Summary<strong>:_ Finn and Katniss – a fish can love a Cat, but where will they…_  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**:

Note: I have the pleasure to tell you, that I am nominated for a

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I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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><p><strong><em>Montag grinned the fierce grin of all men singed and driven back by flame.- Fahrenheit 451<em>**

"So where are we really going, baby-doll?" Finn asks in his I'm-smarter-than-you-think voice.

Katniss stops dead and her face falls. "Finnick? How is it you have all this knowledge and can't implement it?"

He looks confused. His brows crunch into a wrinkle in the center. "You weren't serious were you?"

Her eyes drop and stay on the floor for five heartbeats, then her face hardens. "Guess not. I …" she spins and heads exactly the direction they just came from.

Finn watches her for a split second then calls her name. He makes an exasperated sound when she ignores him and keeps walking. He catches up and hooks his good arm in hers and without a word changes her direction. "You are going to make me crazy little girl on fire. I wasn't insulting you."

"Really?" she asks like this is surprising information. "You are all over me like sizzle on a griddle until the minute I say yes. You can't say you missed my very clear statement this time. I thought you'd….but second turn down …let's just call the game for weather or something." Katniss removes her arm from him and backs up a couple of steps. She smiles and shrugs then looking at the floor she adds, "No hard feelings. We just don't click or whatever."

Finnick gets a serious look on his face and pulls her to him. His green eye swells with intensity as his lips meet hers. This is not one of their playful sweet kisses, he is almost angry with hunger, just controlled. He pulls back and huskily says, "Oh we click just fine, baby-doll. You're just a little too real for me and I don't quite know how to seduce you. You don't buy into my normal song and dance and I can't seem to read you at all. I wasn't going to assume you meant it this time. It's like you're playing with me and I don't get all the boundaries here. I never know what you're really up to."

Katniss sighs after the kiss. "I don't mean it to be like that. I don't like the mask you wear. I like the hidden guy that you keep buried most of the time. That guy who stood on the roof saying goodbye to stars that weren't even there, planning to die for a girl who didn't really like him very much. Against orders, I might add?" She raises an eyebrow confirming her shot in the dark was true.

He just smiles sheepishly. "I couldn't. Not even for him."

She blinks her understanding. " That guy who held me while I slept and sung to my baby last night. The one who told Hay that he needed to quit drinking and help me with the baby. That guy I want. I love the little boy in you Finn. Your heart is sexy to me, not all that capitol trash you ooze every time we get near each other."

"Well, the capitol trash is all I have. I don't really know how to make you want me any other way. I do want you. Want, not love. I care but…"

"But I am just a distraction until they get …safe. The new Jojo?"

His eye drops. "I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be. That's the way it should be with you and I. Love would be cheating. Finn I feel close to you because you're my friend and you love Haymitch and he loves me and we both love Peeta and you saved Peeta and Peeta saved Gale and he saved my mother and Prim and they saved you. It's all connected and so I feel connected to you. Attracted to you. I can take you or leave you. It's up to you. That part of you that is all an act, kinda gives me the creeps. I don't know why, but it just has the opposite effect on me. I want real Finn or nothing. I want you, but I won't stop liking you, caring about you either way." She explains, face disturbed that he may not get what she's saying.

"You have turned me down, often." he questions with a statement, studying her eyes with his one good one.

"Not you. You always come at me as Capitol Finnick Odair, not Finn. I don't want him. He's still like kissing a dead body."

" And, you don't have Haymitch's permission this time?"

She smiles and shakes her head. "He was just messing with your skull, to…make you mad. Keeping you alive."

Finn lifts his chin and looks down at her from a face of hesitant warning. "He isn't now. Quite the opposite in fact. He's pissed. I don't have to warn you what that means do I? You usually read him quite well. Sure you want to take this up a notch? Did you see his face? Why now?"

Katniss answers by stepping forward removing the half-inch between them, and laying her palm on his cheek. "Less talking, more kissing please?" she pulls his head to her and the notches find a new level, where the people in the halls begin to stare at the couple who seem alone in a crowd.

"Where?" he asks, breathing heavy and focused on her.

They barely get the door closed before really truly showing each other how needful they each are. It is ninety-percent just a convenient desire, but tempered and honed in, not love, but caring of immense deep friends. They are choosing to fall into adoration before putting lives back on the line and handing themselves to fate. It is about each of their bodies needing release, needing to connect to life, and yet much more than a torrid little passion.

Finn pulls back and looks a little regretful. "Shower, I reek of the hospital. Join me?"

She grins and nods, at his request. "In there. You go get started, I think Prim and Mom have fresh bandages. I'll be there in a second."

"You better be."

Katniss is digging through her mother's stash of burn creams and infection preventers when a shriek of despair issues from the bathroom followed by howling sobs. The supplies clutched in her hand, she opens the door to find Finn crumpled under the sink, sobbing like he just killed a small child and discovered his life was over. "Finn, what is it? Are you in pain?" she asks searching for some explanation to his condition and her mind skittering all over to understand how she can help.

His words are so stretched in his sobs, she can barely register what he says. "I'm hideous. Don't look, Katniss. Please don't look at me."

Understanding dawns on her. He just removed his bandages. This must be the first time he's seen the damage. Cautiously, like a wounded animal, she approaches him. She gently wraps her arms around him and sooths him. "You are not hideous. It will look a million times better once you are healed. It's not that bad, sweetheart."

"My eye? I don't have a fucking eye! Oh god, don't look. I should have died. I can't look like this?"

"Finn. It's fine. They will fix it. It is temporary, like my ear."

"Nooooo"

"Finn."

"I want to die. I can't be like this. You don't understand. Nobody will ever want me. I can't. It's all I had. It's all I had and now it's gone. They will stare at me and laugh. They will kill me for it. They will put me down like a useless horse. I can't keep her safe, because I won't be…."

"You won't be what? Finnick. Stop. Nobody is going to hurt you. There is no they anymore. We are fighting they. Finn. Nobody cares now. You aren't a whore. Finn. You don't have to be perfect ever again. You belong to you now, not them." Katniss is desperate to make him hear her.

She kisses his head and he leans into her sobbing that he won't ever be beautiful again. He had never thought he cared about it. He thought it was a curse. But once it was taken, he couldn't help but mourn the loss. Now he wanted to be beautiful for Annie. "Who will ever…" he fades out and sobs more, silently now.

"I still want you. She will. Hay will. Anyone who matters won't see anything but how beautiful you are."

"Not when you see, you won't. It's horrible. Please don't look at me," he whispers hopelessly.

Katniss takes a deep breath and braces herself. She gently turns him to her. "Let me see."

He refuses but she keeps whispering soothing things, assuring him he is blowing it up out of proportion. He suddenly, defiantly turns his head to her. It is shocking. It is horrible, but she keeps her face calm and smiles at him. "God you're such a baby. It's barely a scratch."

"You are a liar." He says, but doesn't look away. He studies her closely waiting for one clue she is revolted.

"You're going to look like a sexy pirate for a while. I'll have to beat them off of you with a stick. Glad I got my dib's in now." She teases and softly kisses his lips.

It takes some time to get him to believe her. She teases him, soothes him, assures him and eventually she is again in pure adoration of him, kneeling before him in the shower, making his mind focus on the beauty of her mouth repeating what she'd done to him once without his permission. He is helpless to her, spirit ravaged and clinging to the sensation of pleasure as she ravages him in a better way, healing his initial surety that nobody could find desire in just him. Giving him a spark of hope that his worth is not only in the skin he's used for survival, depending on his beauty in exchange for his life. It is hard for him to find his pleasure. When he does, he only whimpers a bit and shudders as he is swept away from worry for a moment.

He watches her struggle to consume his warmth and reaches out holding her head to him, not forcing her, but in worship that she would give him this at this moment when he needs to be wanted most. He slides down the wall, too broken by her kindness to keep standing and he looks at her face, expecting to see pity or at least a little humiliation. She smiles at him, face open and embarrassed that she liked pleasing him so much.

"Thank you for that. I do love you. I always will, because you were here. Because you…" he lets his tears stop his words but he doesn't hide them. It's the only way he can convey what this really means to him. "You are so beautiful."

"So are you. You always were. But it had nothing to do with pretty. Let's hurry. That just made me…watching you when you…find your fire, is a big deal to me. I'm screaming for more here." She touches him and gently works him into a condition that promises her there is bright sunshine in her near future.

**_He knew when he returned to the firehouse, he might wink at himself, a minstrel man, burnt-corked, in the mirror. – Fahrenheit 451_**

Finn sits quietly on the toilet as she replaces his bandages. He still feels gruesome and thinks she must be a little crazy to want to be with ugly, but his gentle exploration of her as she carefully dabbles the creams and positions the many bandages has assured him she is not faking her desire. Her skin responds to his touch and he skillfully makes her tremble, until she slaps him playfully on his good shoulder and demands he allow her to concentrate until she has him mummified once again.

Bandaged and playing her pleasure points, building her to insanity, he smirks as she begins trying to scoot under him. He could do this on autopilot; it is all his life has revolved around for the last nine years. Since his games, this has been his most celibate time of life. This is strange to him. He is here now because he wants her. He wants her. He is not being cajoled, forced, paid, or just using her to forget horror. He hadn't realized how dependent his body had become on constant sexual release. He would shock her if he admitted how often he needed a little private time these days.

She knows he has been a whore yet she wasn't demanding him until he lay here building her charms to frenzy. He smiles, seeing something near pain on her face. His pace is too slow for her, she wants him to devour her, but she doesn't do more than plead and try to tempt him. He is moving at a languid stride, unwilling to fill her until he's savored her. Her desire for him is a new place and he touches her with gentleness alone.

He throbs for her, yet refuses to treat her like an appointment. This means something to him and he loves her uncolored skin and the way it flushes her as her heat builds. He is fascinated by her plain skin and open expression of need, not filled with too much knowledge and expectation that he will perform. She accepts his lead; she doesn't redirect him to achieve the end by the time limit. There is trust in her face that he will give to her, frustration that he is taking so long, but willingness to hand her pleasure to him in faith.

"Finn, Please?" she whispers unable to contain how much she wants him inside of her.

"Pretty Kitty, wants a fishy?" he whispers.

"Hurts. You're making it…hurt."

He hovers over her, positions himself. "Is this what you want? Say it Pretty Kitty, say it out loud."

"Yes. I want you. I want you. I need you. Please. Please!" The last one turns into a loud moan as he slides halfway in, barely stroking her internal switch before pulling back. He reaches down between them and manipulates her external center as he moves back and forth in her rapidly but only by about an inch. Her eyes open wide as her first contraction yanks a groan of shock from her. He stops all movement clamping his fingers on her nerve bundle just to the point of pain then again moving inside her like a piston on an old combustion engine.

She shrieks like she is about to die and he cycles her through this process again and again, loving every convulsion and eye roll. "Breath Katniss. Take a deep breath." She does so, ragged and unable to control her abdomen. Again and again he repeats his best trick, giving her what he knows is a deep memory. Other men can't do this, they are too selfish, but he is not lost in himself at this moment. He knows every nuance of a woman's orgasm and has learned how to give it elasticity until unconsciousness. He holds her in true orgasm for almost half an hour. She is losing her ability to follow his instructions and he lets it end. The bed is soaked with her sweat and she has made enough lubrication for an orgy. Now for the first time he enters her fully, filling her with his flesh and her face is shocked but she tries to meet his gentle rhythm.

He is close but he needs a little more. He feels her begin again and smiles as she whimpers, "God no, not again."

Her muscles contract around him as he closes his eyes and fills her, loving the way her bulging middle feels against him. He shudders deeply, pretending for a second it is his child she's filled with. His deepest fantasy is so vivid with her, he nears pain in his own pleasure.

They lay in the messy damp bed, too tired to care. Thirst drives him to the sink. He returns with a glass of water for her. She sits up shakily and guzzles it greedily. "More?" he offers.

"Finnick? What did you do? That was. My God no wonder. I thought they loved you because you were pretty."

"Well I may be ugly, but I still have a few skills. Did I make my Pretty Kitty happy?"

She nods and collapses back, her fingers feathering her abdomen. "I'm getting fat. Nobody will want me much longer." she says as if it is obvious.

He returns with the second glass of water. "I will. I will want you. The bigger the better and after, I will keep your lactation from swelling painfully." He says caressing her breasts and bringing his mouth to one sucking and kneading.

She blanches at the last. "That's kind of…"

"It's the most natural thing in the world. You can spend hours in misery or trying to express. Or ten minutes with me. Nothing more exquisite. Nothing fills me with more desire than a woman in your condition. Nothing." His mouth is on her again.

She smiles up at him unable to keep the image of breast feeding Finnick and a newborn out of her head. "You mean you want to just randomly show up and I toss my shirt and…feed you?"

He sighs contented. "Yes. Promise you will let me, just ten times. If I haven't sold you on it by then, I won't pester you."

"We are all crazy. Lunatics. It's easy to say fine right now. I'm probably going to get myself killed tonight." Katniss says finishing her water.

"No. He will keep you safe. That man is brilliant. Your young seam boy won't let them harm a hair. That is why Haymitch assigned him. Gale loves you. I see it. He's got a major case of possessive."

She frowns and says, "I hate possessive."

" Speaking of that. I just figured out for absolute certain. You haven't been with Haymitch yet. Katniss. He's a lot to take on." His voice is cautious.

Katniss spins. Eyes wide she giggles and whispers, "I know. He's freaking huge! It's…I'm not sure he's even possible." She confides this with a girlish air she usually never displays.

Finn laughs too. "Yeah, makes the rest of us look like tadpoles, but it's possible, I assure you." His face gets serious and he murmurs, "But that isn't exactly what I am talking about. I hear he took you in his…chamber? How was that?"

"I. That's one rule I can't break. I'm not allowed to talk about it. Not ever."

"If he asked you? Would you go again?"

She thinks for a second. "Yes. I would. Why? Have you?"

"No. Never. You have seen a side to him, I never have." Finn plays with the empty glass. His finger slowly circles the rim as he forms his thoughts. "He will kill me if you ever tell him I said this to you. Do you think you can keep it from him, if I do?"

"I keep lots of things from Haymitch. He doesn't really control me you know. I just follow his advice because he's right so much. He sees stuff nobody else does and he's smart. He isn't really doing anything I don't want. Finn? What? You look so serious?"

His breath hitches as he sighs. "He doesn't control you yet. Things are changing. Katniss you know I love him with every cell of me. But once upon a time he did control me. Once, I would have killed you at a word from him. Even if I loved you. I would have done anything he wanted. Anything."

"Wow. That's creepy. Like his minions." Her eyes narrow as she whispers, "What changed?"

"Annie. He told me to stay away from her. I betrayed him. I stopped being his."

"I don't get it. You mean he made you a slave? Like you had no will?"

"No. I had will, just… Katniss I don't know how to explain. I am not telling you to not sleep with him if it's what you want. I'm not saying that. I just want you to be prepared for what he does."

"Are you saying he's going to torture me? Are you saying he will hurt me?"

"Not at all. Well, I guess if that's what is in you. If you need it. He does things to your mind. He knows things about people. I don't know how. But he does and he will find things, you don't even know you want and he will give them to you. He will use secrets you have never told yourself and bend you. He will change everything you know or think you know. He is an experience. I am not saying he's a bad experience, but in some ways he will be. Let's say you and tall dark and broody get married. If Haymitch wants you, you will go to him. You won't care about the consequences or who you hurt. You will do anything just to have that whatever it is he finds again. You will cheat, lie, murder to be with him. I wasn't kidding when I said he was walking a dark road with you. You might have been just playing along, but it was a lot bigger message to me. He knew I would assume you and he had begun your training."

"You make him sound sinister," she says somewhere in the neighborhood of shock and fear.

"What he said to Gale… that if he decides to seduce you, part of you will belong to him. It's true. He will probably warn you again even. That was a warning to you, just in case you missed it. He didn't say that for Gale alone. He wasn't just blustering, though he counts on it to be interpreted exactly that way. If Gale becomes an obstacle between you and him, he will seduce him too."

Katniss laughs at that. "Well that won't happen. Gale doesn't. He's not. Like you and Hay and Cinna," she says trying not to sound judgmental.

Finn smirks, "I'm not either. I was raped by men, but I had no desire for them in any way, until he loved me."

"I thought you guys fell in love during his victor training thing."

"No. It was later."

"What about Johanna?"

"No. She isn't…his. He said she didn't need it. He loves her, a lot. They fuck each other every chance they get, but he didn't. "

"Maybe he won't with me?"

"Did you see his face? That end bit. It was at me, not Gale. He went possessive of you. He will be all over you with kindness and woo now. He knows you're going to be in a little danger tonight, that's probably what made him leap into Haymitch-is-crazy land. I'm still not telling you what to do. I wouldn't do that."

"It sounds like you are telling me to be terrified. Of Haymitch. My Haymitch. Finn I'd almost do anything for him now. I do love him. I can't imagine him being willing to cause me harm. Besides, this is all probably just a waste. If I live through the night, he's probably never going to speak to me again," Katniss says softly.

"Second time you said that. You have some plans of your own. God you're just like him. What are you going to do?"

"Can you keep things from him Finn? Do You promise to keep this if I tell you?"

"I don't know. How much danger are you going to be in? You can't be stupid. You have to protect the baby."

Katniss drops her eyes, but she doesn't comment.

"Oh shit. That's why now, isn't it? You think you're going to die, so you are here, with me. Like you and Cinna before the Quell. Like Gale when you guys were trapped. And now, me? Oh God Katniss." His face is crumpling in sorrow, he shakes his head as if she is already a phantom. "Please don't. Whatever you have in your head, Please. Please baby. I'll do anything. Please don't leave me. Not now. Oh God, why" He takes her hand and pulls it to his heart. He's crying again.

"Oh Finn. Don't. Stop. I have to. I'm not trying to. I can't let them die."

His head is shaking and he's searching her face, "Who? Who is worth this?" His other hand is on her tummy as if he would protect the baby from even her. "Katniss. Listen to me. No."

Katniss sighs. Then she smiles at him. "You're right. I wasn't thinking. It wouldn't have worked anyway. Stop. I hate it when you cry, silly."

Finn blows out air in relief. "Thank you. God you scared me."

Katniss keeps her smile plastered on her lips and pets his hair. "It's ok. It's all going to be just fine. I promise you. It will all work out just like it is supposed to, sweetheart."

He sits up and looks at her. "What was it you planned to do?"

"It doesn't matter. I just wanted to save the ones who would surrender. Some of them still have relatives here. I keep thinking that if Annie was at stake, or Peeta. We might be out there instead of in here." She says this slowly, trying not to give herself away.

"But how would you do that?"

"I would stay. Not get extracted."

He laughs at her. "Katniss. That is stupid you know. It's suicide, baby. Poseidon's cock Mockingjay! You'd either be gassed or they would try to use you for escape. Either way you die. Your plans do suck. You swear to me you won't try this shit?"

"Ok. I said you were right."

"If you do it, he won't save you."

Katniss just looked at him, hiding her lie, her determination and her guilt.

"Haymitch. Go against him? He'll gas you along with them. He'll be drunk and horrible. He will hate himself; try to end it all a few times. But at that moment. When he has to make a choice between winning and you, he will pick winning."

"I think you're wrong. But it doesn't matter one way or another."

Finn concentrates on her face. "Swear. On Peeta's life. On mine."

"No. I will only swear on my own." Katniss meets his gaze with anger. Her own sense of superstition would not let her say a lie on another's life.

"I wish I could read you better. I should drag you straight to him."

"I will never speak to you again if you do?" Her smile stayed etched in place, granite and hard, but her eyes promised something else. Her eyes promised victory and determination. The smile and her eyes did not meet, they were oblivious to each other, strangers on the girl's face.

"Really? And if you are lying to me, how is that a different outcome?"

**_It never went away, that smile, it never went away as long as he remembered. – Fahrenheit 451_**

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><p><strong><em>Please vote - Please review<em>**


	21. Chapter 21

**Pleasure to burn - Chapter twenty**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn21  
><strong>Summary<strong>:_ Katniss and her plans._  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: Katniss and the minions, Katniss and Gale

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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><p><strong><em>"Millie? Does the White Clown love you?" Fahrenheit 451<em>**

The last moments as a family were to be spent in preparation. Katniss has listened to Haymitch instruct her on all the possible objections and responses to get Coin to step into the trap. Katniss is given a shot, to make her less likely to die from the gas should something go wrong. They promised it would not do harm to the baby, but she wasn't terribly confident in the ability of anyone to know for certain. She accepted it with her trademark stoic scowl and a glare at Haymitch who is watching her with the attention of the damned.

"It's time." Plutarch says unnecessarily as the countdown timer had already beeped.

Gale scowls too as Katniss approaches her mentor, face placid but eyes fierce.

Haymitch practically lunges at her, still mad about earlier, but unwilling to send her off without a word. Her arms wrap around him and she closes her eyes, so far from any emotion, she doesn't even fight tears. "I'll hate your guts forevermore," she whispers just in his ear.

"Me too, sweetheart. It will be fine." His lips have barely said the words before they enclose hers, hungry and soul devouring as always.

She wonders for a split second about what Finn said about him. She smiles a little for him, wondering what secrets he would find in her and knowing she would never fear him, even if he did possess her in some way. She smiles wider as his lips move away, thinking for a moment that she might surprise him on who would be the one in control when it was all said and done. Maybe he could get in her head, but she's been in his for a long time.

"See you in a while," she assures simply. He startles her as he drags her back against him.

"Don't. Fuck. With. Me. Sweetheart." His eyes search her face and narrow as his head dips slightly and he releases her.

She takes her breath and looks him square in the eyes with an odd little shrug. "So you finally realized the charcoaled one has no hope of fitting? That's a shame, Hay. I would have at least tried."

He tries to look at her with his mean mentor face but his features lose the iron will and contort into mirth. He throws his head back and laughs as if she has trampled his last bottle of liquor and offered him a glass of milk to make up for it. "Nice try, but I kept my end of the bargain and you will beg to keep yours. Sweetheart." The lust in his eyes and the promise of pleasure is unmistakable.

She makes a noise in the back of her throat denying his claim. "Will a capitol curtsy do or are you expecting me all the way down on my knees?" She is relishing this flirty exchange.

"You'll be kissing my feet as you offer yourself to me, my love."

His statement sends a tingle down her spine. Battle. Her head dips and her eyes dart up to him through her lashes, as she murmurs, "Don't bet on it. Sweetheart."

His eyes dance with promises and surety but deeper she catches a glimmer of challenge. She puts her palm up against his cheek, a gesture of love, but for her she is just hoping it isn't goodbye. It is forgiveness if he has to do what Finnick said he would. If she messed this up and he had to pick winning, she accepted.

Someone clears his throat, clearly annoyed. "You done creeping everyone out? Thought this little picnic of yours was on a schedule?" Gale says darkly.

She turns without saying more. They leave Haymitch to his Bridge.

She hears him address her just as she steps out the door. "Katniss, please just…"

She rushes along, pretending she didn't hear him. Gale is impatient to get into position. He nods to the six strange thugs Haymitch has put under his command to assist him in keeping one stubborn girl alive. He welcomes the help but would have rather it been someone he knew. And trusted.

Both bands can be heard from Gale's wrist. For the last six hours the open band has been filled with dull check calls and the sound of minor day to day operations, in case they are being monitored to assure the enemy there is no suspicion of their planned invasion. Lookouts on the surface report no sighting on the other band. Katniss enters the auditorium and takes a seat on the stage as Haymitch's voice announces "Canister deployment at three minutes and counting. Masks are mandatory."

Katniss puts her's on and allows Gale to double check all her connections. These are a safety measure, but she instantly begins to sweat, hating the stale air and extra draw it takes to breathe through the apparatus. She lays her bow at her side and her rifle rests against the arm grip of the chair. They had only allowed her five rounds. She knows one of Haymitch's wolves has a handgun with a full clip. She nods to him, eyes touching the bulge at his side and returning to his eyes. He is her final protection, a gift of death rather than torture if all goes wrong somehow. "Did he give you your final orders, Dante?" She may be phrasing this as a question, but it is really just an educated guess.

The man blinks twice. "Affirmative, Madam."

"By my orders or his?"

"It is by situational contingency. But if you require me, I may act on your word, Madam Achillea."

Gale interrupts, "What are you two talking about and what is this madam shit?"

Dante looks at Gale like he is a mosquito. "The Marquee has chosen his heir. We are bound to her service as well. Not yours, Commander Hawthorne."

Gale's eyes go wide at this information. "Catnip? What the hell is he talking about?"

"I think he is saying, I have loyal minions. So be nice or I reason that I can order them to turn you over their knee and spank you. Does that sound about right to you, Dante?"

"I will begin at once if you require it, of course, Madam." Dante says, face blank behind his gas-mask but a tiny sparkle of amusement in his eyes as bright as the incandescent bulbs reflecting off the shiny curved surface.

"Like hell," Gale takes a step away from the wolves, hand on his weapon.

"Impressive, sweetheart. That didn't take you long to figure out?" Haymitch's voice sounds loud in her ear.

She looks around the room and tilts her mask up to speak, relieved to again breathe normally. "Spying on me again, Haymitch?"

"Of course. You would be disappointed if I wasn't. In front of the minions, you should refer to me as master."

"Only in session. My family members would be horrified. They are still pacing right now." She says softer, covering her mouth and speaking in the earpiece.

She hears him chuckle. "Alright, I will let you keep your pride. For now. No reason to make the boy suicidal over our fun. I wouldn't threaten him with spanking again though; he had a rather curious reaction. Just in case the opportunity for you to explore it should ever again come to be. It won't be long before the truth is revealed to some degree. Play your part well, my Achillea"

"Fun. Yes that is an interesting term-" The earpiece is ripped out of her ear.

"Abernathy? What are you trying to pull? You put me in charge of this squad."

Gale listens for a moment glaring at Katniss and his breath getting slightly deeper with anger. "They better, you bastard." He takes the earpiece away and tosses it back to Katniss.

Katniss smirks at Gale's tantrum that he's trying to contain and carefully replaces the device back in her own ear. "So back to the spying, do you do that often?"

"Hmmmm. Twenty six minutes and you were blacking out. Light weight."

"Perverted ass bite."

"From the serious looks on your faces afterwards, I feel certain you got an ample recitation of my more dazzling charms."

"You may have been brought up. Can't remember."

"We will talk more later," he says with a yawn. "Now get your mask back on at once."

"Yes, master." She says sarcastically.

"We will be working on that later, as well. But it's a start."

Somehow the banter brought more emotional trauma to her face then she could quite contain. Tears pooled at the base of the mask seal. Her mind flicked back and forth like the tail of a chariot horse. She would save them. She would save her. She would save them. She had to protect the baby. Two lives in danger for a hundred and their families. Haymitch will pick winning. She can't win either way. Her family, Gale, Haymitch, Finn, Peeta, Mom and Prim. Cinna's baby. Her precious child. It came down to if the rebels would gas other people's precious children. The boy in the chamber, sobbing quietly, braver than the three men, just the age of Rory and Prim.

Signal came and the open band exploded in conflicting reports of fear and horror, all smoke and mirrors to convince the flies to come into the clutches of the spiders. Panic sounded on the waves, but none was to be found within the underground. The outside observation posts had yet to report the return of a single hovercraft.

The massive steel doors were cranked open and the voices silenced little by little. Still no enemy and Katniss leans deep in the chair and dozes in boredom. It could be a week before the trouble shows up. The broadcasts become more and more sparse. Finally a single voice called randomly for help. He said there was an air pocket in the auditorium and asked for any help from rebels possessing hovercraft to rescue the last survivors, among them the Mockingjay huddled with the scraggly last bit of life supposedly in district 13. "Abernathy is dead. Odair is dead. Please, we have to get the Mockingjay to safe harbor. Calling all rebel forces for assistance."

His droning voice, was like a lullaby and she slept while the others watched. Eventually the little group began setting watch so naps could be obtained for all. The man's pleading voice, became a woman's voice. Then a man's voice again.

Katniss awoke, hungry. She looked around and moved stiffly. Sleeping in the chair had not been the best idea, she hurt all over. "Dante? Is there any food? The baby is telling me I need to eat. And go to the restroom."

Dante is at her side at once. "Use the handicapped facilities but don't close the door all the way. I have MRE's for you. It will be warm by the time you return." She is surprised at the gentleness of his voice and smiles her thanks to him.

She steps over Gale's feet. He is propped against a storage chest, his chin on his chest. His eyes open as she stirs. "Need help?" he asks, eyeing her stiff movement.

"I think I can manage all by myself," she replies, but her voice isn't unkind.

"My bad luck." He says with a wink.

When she returns she can smell the food. Dante pulls the little box out of the heating wrapper and hands it to her with a leather glove tucked beneath it so she can hold it without burning her fingers. She accepts it and removes the spork to lift the first bite to her lips, blowing to cool the steaming food. "What about the rest of you?"

"We are fine. These were obtained for you. Your condition has special privileges." Dante nods his encouragement, waiting for her to continue her meal.

She frowns at this information, but she is too shaky with hunger to complain. Growing a human seemed to turn off her ability to withstand hunger in her normal fashion. She finishes her little tray of food and stands to stretch. "I need to walk around."

"Of course, Madam. Lead the way." He offers her his arm as she goes down the stairs. Her babysitter thinks she's helpless. Gale watches her, shifts position slightly and closes his eyes again.

They walk around the large room, her stride gaining better gait once her muscles have warmed. The mask is making it hard to get enough air. "We can lift these can't we? There were no unknown canisters were there?"

Dante lifts his own first sniffing the air. "It is safe, but please don't remove it."

She nods and balances the hateful thing on top if her head. "Dante, Can I ask you some things?"

"I will answer to the best of my ability."

"How did you become a wolf? Why do you show such…submissiveness?"

"I traded the lives of my children. They are safe. I owe him my life times three. The capitol has never discovered their location. He was too late to save my wife and the child she carried, but he gave me hope for someday. Someday, I will see them again."

"I'm sorry, for your loss. So you choose to serve him. Do the rest? Choose?"

His eyes lock on hers and he smiles at her curiosity. "Some do. Some…do not."

"Is there a way to tell the difference?"

"Why do you ask?"

She thinks hard but finally says, "Because I prefer those who are loyal because of friendship. I don't quite approve of or have the same confidence in his head cases." She says the last part with the mike covered.

He smiles genuinely. "He's chosen wisely." There is approval in his voice. He points at his own eyes. "Your answers." He says conveying what she wants to know without admitting it to his master, "will soon be clear with observation."

"What if our orders conflict?"

His face darkens, "In what way?"

"I mean if I tell you something not knowing he's told you another thing. Say I tell you to do something and it is the better choice because the situation has changed, but he gave you other instructions not predicting the full circumstances?"

"His orders override yours, but I am capable of bending them to each scenario."

"So you act with will? And the others?" she asks carefully.

"I have served him these five years, Madam. He is most cautious with his power."

Katniss walks on nodding, considering his words. "They use children to fight. The boy." She reminds him.

"It bothers you. Deeply." He does not make it a question.

"Children should not be forced into…"

"You were."

"My sister was. I volunteered."

"Those who step through these doors are not her," he says.

"Pretty sure though. They didn't volunteer." Her eyes lock on Dante's asking if he will understand.

He meets her eyes then smiles. He mouths silently, "He said you were nothing but trouble."

"Affirmative," she mouths back.

He looks carefully at her ear. "But, you will obey the master."

She shrugs and keeps walking, "It has been mentioned that I won't live long if I don't."

"The mentioner is correct. In most cases." He says, throwing her a wink.

The second cuff announces birds in the air. They are more anxious to regain their base than she expected. They make two more circles around the auditorium before hearing the announcement. "Birds in the nest. Alert status."

"Here we go I guess," Katniss says, again taking her seat as Gale stands and stretches The second cuffs are switched off and the signals they had broadcast are now irretrievable. It felt lonely without the constant updates, but it was an agreed on safety measure.

"Still be a while. Little mock battles to throw them off a bit." Gale says checking his weapons and then laying a hand on her shoulder. "I won't let anything happen to you, even if it does piss me off he asked you to do this."

She looks up at him. "I know you won't. You have always had my back. I am not mad at you, just so you know."

He nods, "Thanks. I did think you were. I'd do anything for you. Even when I know it's the wrong thing like this. You think you are helping and I get it. I don't like it, but I get it. I'll even watch you make mistakes."

"I am sure you think less of me, for some of my choices."

"Was it worth it? Was he worth the hurt you caused me?"

**_He walked on the track.  
>And he was surprised to learn how certain he suddenly was of a single fact he could not prove. Fahrenheit 451<em>**

She sits there debating what to say. "I really don't mean it to hurt you. I was mad. Offended that you were so certain I am useless. I know how I made it look. But, please Gale, don't let the things I do make you think I don't care. About you. I know what you must think, but just realize you don't understand the whole picture."

He chews his bottom lip. "Fair enough, but I really don't think you see it all either. One is using you, manipulating you in ways that I can't compete with. He's dangerous. You think he is all about protecting you and he is in some ways. But not for the reasons you think. And as far as Odair goes, he's like me to some degree. He's like I was back home with other girls. He will let you think you and he are special, so long as he gets what he wants from you, then the second he gets bored, he will pretend you don't exist. It will go down that way at some point."

"Gale, he isn't trying to—" she begins, but he cuts her off.

" Just remember, no matter how much you push me away. No matter how much you fight me. I am not playing their game. I may be furious. It may feel like we have hurt each other too much or grown apart. But no matter. The second you really get it. The second you need me. All you have to do is let me know. I'll be there. Anything you do, I will forgive you. When the time comes that they have destroyed you, made you feel like nothing, or convinced you it was all just a game to them. That's when you need to remember where you really belong. I don't care about winning all the little battles, Catnip. Any wounds delivered, by you or your crew of supposed admirers can be healed. I know the difference between combats that carry prices that can make you lose sight of the war and what the real triumph holds. I am after victory, not a perfect record of meaningless battle statistics. I will win. Because my eyes and my heart aren't going to let regret get in the way of knowing why I am fighting in the first place. I don't know if you will pick me. I hope you do one day. But, so long as you are really happy and safe and free to pick what you want, then I win. That's my picture. My goal."

He grows quiet, and her eyes shine for him. If it's possible for Katniss to love him a little bit more than she did ten minutes ago, the pain registering in her chest must be from the way he was opening a whole new shaft with a sharpened pick ax. She had treated him like a boy who was trying to lay claim to her back in the seam. But, he wasn't trying to fool her, or tempt her into the shafts of an unstable mine. Gale was the little bird who was trying to sing for a mockingjay's safe passage back to the surface.

"Please. Say something." He asks after a while.

"I wish I knew what to say. I never heard you talk so much and say such deeply kind things. I wish I could say things so well. I just don't have any promises to give you right now. None that I can live up to at this point. I wish I could." She really does mean it. She wishes she had the choices he dreams of right now.

"I am only asking that, right this minute, you promise to remember. That you promise that you won't be lost in the dark and forget that my map exists. I will lead you, follow you, hell I will carry you if that is what it takes, but I won't ever abandon you to search for something you already have." He reaches out and takes her hand. "Can you promise that? Can you just promise me that you won't forget or ever think what I said here, doesn't matter anymore?"

Katniss smiles and nods. "Promise. You're my little lantern at the end of the tunnel."

"Just don't be fooled by the trains. They may seem like a brighter path but they won't see you or stop to think about the damage they do."

"I know. I do. Please don't be disappointed in me. I don't know if I can avoid them all. The trains."

He nods, eyebrows furrowing his sockets into shadow, but not in anger, more like concentration or suppressed sorrow. "I know," he whispers. His face smooths and he looks at her with fierce blazing surety.

**_A bomber flight had been moving east all the time they talked, and only now did the two men stop and listen, feeling the great jet sound tremble inside themselves. - Fahrenheit 451_**

Katniss turns her head slightly, the horrified question asked in silence. Does he know? Has he somehow guessed her intentions? She places her thumb carefully over the microphone hole. "You know what?" she whispers.

He looks a little ill and shakes his head at her. His words are below hearing, but she can read his lips. "It won't work."

"It has to work."

He squeezes her hand tightly. "Then I will do it instead."

She is shaking her head at him as the doors at the other end of the room let muffled concussions of gunfire warn them that the boring part is over. "Katniss, activate your suit and get in position. Let them see you now." Haymitch instructs.

She does as she's asked, as the room is invaded with hundreds of soldiers fanning out and stopping short at her presence. Her heart beats hard and she shakes a little, her bow drawn at the one who holds the highest rank. "Odair is in place with his extraction team. Stand on your que." Katniss looks down and adjusts her position on the X taped into the stage floor. The others stand in what appears to be a casual group of people trying to protect her, but knowing the numbers are overwhelming.

A heavily jawed man steps forward cautiously. His rifle points straight at Katniss as he says, "Put your weapons down and surrender. We have you surrounded."

"No. I will negotiate terms, but I won't surrender to you."

"Then we will just kill you all now." he adjusts his aim, preparing to give the signal to shoot them all.

Katniss takes one step forward. She opens her stance a little and looks down at her suit and back at him. "Can you make a head shot from there? Because I can. I don't see Coin. I will only surrender to her. I want assurances only she can give."

"Then die. You have nothing to bargain."

"Actually I do. She gets more from Snow if she delivers me to him alive. She has sold you all down the river, you better get the best deal you can. I am sure most of you think we betrayed you. Some of you know the real story. Some of you are only trying to protect your families. She is pulling out of the rebellion. Snow says deliver me and all is forgiven. Do you believe that? Any of you?"

"It's true. Dead or Alive."

"We came here and you welcomed us."

"And then you attacked us. You cut us in half." A soldier shouts with hatred.

"Not me. Coin. She made a deal. We never wanted to fight here. Our battles were out there. She left us no choice. Some of you are in the same position right now. You can't escape. I can't escape. The canisters saw to that. But I can do something. If you let me. I can agree to face his wrath for you. But only if she is willing to give her word in front of every single one of you."

"Her word on what? What do you want?"

"Some of you are only in this room, because she holds something over your heads. I know. The thing is she knows it too. Think on that."

"Don't believe her. Coin isn't betraying us, she's getting us out of this madness."

"Once he knows I'm dead. Do you think he will forget you stood with the rebels then killed his grandchild? If you can hand me to him alive, you might get away with it. She can't do it without my cooperation. She will never deliver me alive, unless I allow it. If you kill me, you screw yourself. I die either way. Your choice."

"You don't know that. You're grasping at straws."

"Maybe I am. But if my sister is allowed to stay among you, then it puts me on your side. She's hidden and safe. You kill me, we all lose. I have ordered them to give her nightlock if you kill me. I want Coins word and yours, or I won't surrender."

They speak to Coin directly. Katniss hears Haymitch say. "This is going south. Back up and let us get you all out of there."

"Not yet. She isn't here yet." Katniss whispers barely moving her lips.

"She says to tell you, to surrender now. She doesn't care if she hands you over alive or dead."

Katniss smiles, "I wasn't just the Mockingjay. Tell Coin the Marquee is dead. Tell her the heir to the chambers, offers terms. I demand passage for myself and my wolves to the capitol."

"Katniss, that is not part of our plans. You fool." Haymitch is not pleased with her confession.

The soldier repeats the message. Katniss sees the murmurings around the room. Some stand on the other side, looking like they want to save her more than kill her. Trapped rebels. They don't know what she has just said, but Coin will know.

"She wants you to ID your master."

"Tell her, I have no master now. Tell her she can't keep me in the dark any longer and I warned her what would happen if she took him from me."

He listens to his own head set, face blanked as he's listening carefully. "She says she is on her way. She is happy to provide you safe passage."

"Nicely played, sweetheart. Stupid, and irresponsible as hell, but nicely played." Haymitch sounds relieved. "Now take three steps back and get on your fucking que."

It is only moments before more people flow into the far end of the auditorium. Alma Coin wears a pleased expression. "Lower your weapons. Throw them off the stage. We are done here really. We win and your concessions will be honored. Where is your master's body. Snow wants it."

Katniss finally relaxes her bow. She lays it on the stage and kicks it close to the edge. Coin approaches Katniss, eager to bask in her victory. "Your sister. I am so pleased to offer her our hospitality."

Katniss nods a small regal bow. She'd seen Haymitch perform this precise gesture. Coin sighs in self-satisfaction. "Jackpot. I never suspected, you know. My apologies for my misplaced accusations. Now shall we get down to business, Madam?"

"As you wish." Katniss smiles placidly. Her eyes sweep the room. Most of the men here are her enemy. But her eyes fall too often on eyes filled with fear. There are faces looking up at her that don't belong here. "You have young girls among your gun heaving soldiers now? How old are these children?"

"They are all of age to kill. I take none below the age of reaping." Coin says as if assuring Katniss of her strict moral standards.

"My error. Some look far younger."

"Of course, we will allow your sister to continue her studies. She will never face a reaping here and she will never be wasted in military service. I do hope that eases your concern. I will even allow you communication provided Snow allows it. He is most pleased with our provisions. He was surprised that you had interest in such an unusual talent. I don't think it displeased him."

"I'm sure he will find me most useful."

"He has a very particular candidate that he wishes to convey as a gift for your return. He said to tell you his apprenticeship had begun."

"That is pleasing news." Katniss says carefully as she hears Haymitch curse softly in her ear and names the probable unlucky soul.

" Are all of these gentlemen among your entourage? Even Hawthorne?"

"They are. Your fumes took most of us. These were all I had left except for the two with Prim and the few who managed to find a mask."

"I am sorry to have not understood the vast knowledge I destroyed. It may have changed our interactions. But now I see why it was so difficult to bend you. I thought you were a haughty girl but it does explain why you were unable to be easily bullied."

"It would not change the fact that you changed your mind."

Coin shrugs and smiles dropping her eyes before admitting, "No, the war is lost. I just know when to get out with my…"

Gale has watched this all silently. His eyes roam upward from time to time.

The sound of the doors closing in vapor-lock startles some. "It's a trap!" someone shouts. Coin turns as the other doors seal and clear tubes descend precisely where each member of the subterfuge stands.

Katniss steps to the side at the last minute, ducking under her tube and clambering for her bow. She leaps from the stage and scrambles upward as the chaos of the trapped gives her a few seconds of cover. She is climbing a ladder she'd noticed during her exploration of the room with Dante. Her goal is to get into the high catwalks as the tubes continue dragging cursing angry individuals through the temporary holes in the ceiling.

Heavensbee had done it. He had used his many years of engineering the games to make the impossible work precisely. Katniss crouches behind the mechanism and peeks down at her self-imposed trap just as she realizes another of her 'entourage' has joined her without making it to safe perch.

There is a large bruise rising on his head and a trickle of blood has circled his brow and run down his cheek like a bloody tear. A rifle barrel is shoved cruelly between his lips as the one holding the gun searches calmly for her. Three escape tubes disappear through the ceiling empty and they again seal the chamber for fumigation.

Haymitch sobs her name in her ear, as her mouth silently forms the same sentiment. "Dammit, what were you thinking? Gale. No."

"Dammit Katniss, what have you done?" Haymitch is so angry he just sounds scared. It sends a chill down her spine.


	22. Chapter 22

**Pleasure to burn - Chapter 22**

**Author**: **Howlynn**  
><strong>Realm<strong>: _The Hunger Games_, Suzanne Collins  
><strong>Story Title<strong>: Pleasure to burn22  
><strong>Summary<strong>:_ There is a lot of shooting, bluffing and confusion._  
><strong>CharacterRelationships**: The war of wills and an early arrival.

I** Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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><p><strong><em>"It was a vast stage, without scenery, inviting him to run across, easily seen in the blazing illumination, easily caught, easily shot down.<em>**

**_The seashell hummed in his ear." Fahrenheit 451, pg. 124 _**

Katniss peeks down toward the stage. Haymitch is yelling in her ear, mostly insults sprinkled with curses, nothing that will help her.

"Everdeen when I count to ten, your loyal seam rat dies," Coin calls out.

Katniss swallows as she reaches deep within to find her calm alter ego. "Don't bother impressing me with your math skills; kill him now if you want. Of course, if you do that I will let Haymitch gas every last person in here. Actually, I personally would prefer the gun. I hear the gas is a nasty way to go. Both options beat Haymitch's wrath. At least that's my experience. He's kinda got a temper. "

"She's bluffing," Coin announces to the room.

"Am I? " Katniss calls back as if amused.

"Abernathy is dead. They all are, we saw them. Don't let this lying child make fools of you. She's desperate."

"Do you really believe that? Think I planned this? Think I out played you?"

Coin looks around; she is so carefully surrounded by her troops, that Katniss can't get a clear shot. Coin thinks for a minute. "You dropped your mask, Madam. You will die too. If he's dead, I am calling your bluff. If he lives, he won't kill you."

"Think about that for a minute. What happens to an apprentice who betrays the master of the chambers? I die either way. This way is actually not so bad. So here is the deal, first you take that gun out of Gale's mouth, then everyone puts down their weapon and you surrender. Surrender or death, it's up to you! " she shouts. Then quietly, "I could use some back up here Haymitch, if it's no trouble."

Coin can be heard making threats to her own people. She makes it clear that anyone who thinks of lowering their weapons will be shot at once. Katniss crawls to her left and spies Dante', crouched behind two low slung wheeled storage crates he's blockaded the stage control booth with. His jaw is set and he is searching for Katniss. When his eyes lock to hers, he winks.

"I am going to kill you, you little fool," Coin screams in fury.

**_"The beetle was in high thunder." Fahrenheit 451, pg. 127_**

Katniss rolls her eyes, "Get in line Princess. You're not even my biggest problem right now! Haymitch says hello. I guess you wouldn't be trapped like a bug just now if you had any brains at all. If you really were a leader you would be begging to surrender because if you really understood just how bad I pissed him off, you would know how this is about to end."

"Come out now and I will still offer you safe passage to the Capitol!"

"Do keep up. I want surrender, not a noose. Lay down your weapons and live to see the rebellion. Die fighting for freedom, not for a monster who has hurt us all."

"The one who kills her will never want for anything. My word!" Coin tries bribing her troops into action.

"Give it up Coin. I have already won here. All you have to do is make the choice to survive. Surrender now!" Katniss screams back, her voice strong and much more sure than she feels.

" She will never do it. I would have offered it without your idiotic stunt. Now she just has a hostage." Haymitch says, again focused.

"Yeah, but, the difference is, once she's gone, everybody else will cave in. They will follow me. You know they will," Katniss says into her headset.

"And, if they don't?" Haymitch asks, voice smooth and moderately sarcastic.

"Then, I accept your decision. Finn warned me you would. It's Ok. "

"You're dying for traitors. People who would have left you to die slowly in the dark. People who tortured us? These are the people you hand your life too? I... will... kill you with them, little girl, don't doubt it." Haymitch spits the last part out, barely containing his rage at her betrayal.

"Hay, I'm not dying for traitors, I'm dying for children. Look at them? They may be forced to hold a rifle, but they didn't ask to be here anymore than my sister asked to be reaped. Any more than Peeta asked to be wherever he is now. So, let's do our best, and if it isn't good enough, well, we didn't do too bad for a creepy old drunk and a half-starved outlaw seam girl. Now, how about you yell at me over the speakers, so they know you're alive and please try to make them believe you actually are mean enough to kill me? Gives me more to bargain with here. "

"Kill Hawthorne! She's got nothing. Delta 5, find us a way out of here and CATS, _(Coin Army Tactical Snipers)_Take out that stupid little bitch at once!" Coin screeches her orders.

Katniss' safe quarters are inundated with a barrage of random cover fire which is alone dangerous due to the volume of possible ricochet imposed. But, this smoke is not the disturbing thing. The true threat is from the snipers with their much more precise aim and the fact the rounds are perfectly capable of puncturing through the machinery she has hidden behind and ending her before she can even begin to make any effort to end this on favorable terms.

Gale picks this moment to awaken, or maybe it's the deafening report from the many firing weapons in this place that jostle his mind into action. He rolls into the arm of the would-be assassin, hyperextending the soldier's elbow with a sickening crunch. He crumples with a howl. The gun fires harmlessly, but Gale has it before it hits the ground and has first killed the owner of the hand-gun, then using the body as a shield, managed to curl up protectively, scoot toward the trunks, drag the still dancing body with him as a fleshy turtle shield, all while squeezing off twelve rounds and dropping eleven of Coin's men. Most spectacular, is the fact that four of them had the high powered long rifles denoted by the tiger symbols stitched into their uniforms.

He reaches his goal, dropping the nearly headless torso, snagging three rifles along the way and ducking behind the storage boxes. He moves them into a three sided arrangement, offering himself both some measure of protection and the perfect bunker from which to continue his assault upon the confused mass of ducking and shooting bodies now caught with only flimsy chairs and each other for protection.

Though his performance is heroically admirable, he does not make it to the safety of the crates without being riddled by several serious and painful holes. Gale spots Katniss above him. She aims several incendiary arrows each time any force appears to attempt to advance upon the stage.

Dante has not been useless or idle either, and in the confusion, he has made a rather significant dent in the organization of the well trained men, leaving them dropped around the room as if he's hunting turkeys among quail.

The loudspeakers suddenly boom in the sarcastic drawl of one very alive Haymitch Abernathy, "Having a good time yet, Alma?"

The shock of hearing that voice silences the automatic weapons. Haymitch clears his throat in a disapproving way then says pleasantly, "You don't seem to be faring well against three of my wayward little nincompoops. Did you really think you could get rid of me with your little stink bombs?"

The look on Coins face made Katniss laugh, though there isn't one damned thing about this that's really funny. Shaking her head in denial, Coin looked suddenly old. "No. It isn't him. It's a fake!" she screams, but her face shows otherwise.

"Oh, Please. Alma. Sweetheart. Is that your plan? Think old girl. Look up. I've set your own perfume bottles on you. "

"I have your precious Mockingjay. Will you boo-hoo and rage at her death like she did for you? I know, Abernathy. She is your whole heart and the only soul you have left. You let us out of here and I will leave her to you. I imagine you will enjoy teaching her not to betray you." Coin says.

"Well, that's just funny. I am more troubled that one of my most trusted has accidentally condemned himself because he was charged with her protection. That too is her fault. I have to say, he's about the only reason you are still sucking air. The girl? Yee God's take her with you. She's stupid enough to believe your troops might like her better. I say just sit there and prove you're as stubborn and imprudent as she has acted just now, and you solve my troubles. Two birds with one stone."

"Oh? And where will your precious rebellion be then?"

"Martyrs make fantastic battle cries. You said that. I should have listened to you on that one. So quit trying to treat me like a damned moron and decide, because my finger is feeling a bit twitchy here and nothing in that room with you is half as important as ending this so we can get back to the real war. Your choice, Mizz Coin. One minute."

"Haymitch you gave me your word."

"I did. 50 seconds. You played both sides and lost the middle."

"Damned you all. Are you incapable of killing one little girl?"

Coin turns and grabs a rifle from one of her CATS and is just swinging it up to the catwalk as an incendiary arrow arcs toward her chest. It blows and the three main chunks of the former president come skidding to a halt at the feet of those who have served her.

Eyes wide, the room is silent.

From the rafters something begins to drip.

"So, anybody want to surrender now?" Katniss says as if she just made tea and thought to offer it to her guests.

There is silence again, then the clatter of metal hitting stone, just one or two, then more. Someone lets out a war whoop cheer and suddenly the civil break in district thirteen is simply over.

Haymitch announces instructions for those intending to surrender. The requests are followed by most and even those who had played bodyguards saw at once that rudderless battle was pointless. Everyone seemed eager to lay down their arms.

Katniss called a couple encouragements, promising they would all find fair treatment now. Someone shouted, "Mockingjay!" Other's picked up the word and it soon became a low murmured chant among the prisoners. Coins rein of fear fell quietly, once the smoking corpse was no longer tugging the strings.

"God in the barn, sweetheart, I think you just aged me thirty years. Good job."

Katniss lets her breath out. She is shaking in pain now and groans, "Haymitch, we need medics. Fast." She lowers herself down to the metal grate and curls into a bit of a ball.

"Katniss, are you hit?" His voice is smooth butter, but she hears the concern.

"No. But my water just broke and I have no idea how to get down."

"Oh," Haymitch says, and his breath sounds like he may have just choked on his own tongue as he begins issuing orders to get the doors open and get his Mockingjay. "Ok. Just don't panic."

"I'm not. I…ok I am, but it's too soon. And it hurts. I don't know what to do…" she hisses.

"You just stay there. Stay alive," he adds and she can't help but smile a little.

By the time the contraction ends, Dante' is at her side, full of gentle strength, encouragement and he helps her down the ladder. She kneels by Gale, who looks like bloody hell, but is still walking wounded. He takes her hand as both of them are plunked down in wheelchairs for their ride to the hospital wing. Katniss, who just bluffed and bushwhacked her way into ending a catastrophe, is now near tears with pure fear.

Her mother and sister await her along with Finnick, who informs everyone who tries to bustle him out of the room, that he's got no intent of leaving her side. Mrs. Everdeen tries to intimidate him, but he turns on the Finnick Odair charm, and she really has no chance against him.

The next to arrive is Haymitch followed shortly by a partially mummified Gale. The attending physician tries to protest Katniss' vast audience. In the middle of a contraction she reaches up to the doctor and draws him close to her face by his physician's vestment, and with the anger and scary eyes of a Capitol politician grunts through gritted teeth, "These are the fathers of this baby. They will stay or you will go. President Coin is dead. I make the rules now."

Haymitch grins, "I would listen if I were you, Docs. Last person who made her mad….well you know how that turned out."

Mrs. Everdeen turns white, and a silent snit is detected by all, thanks to her very precise movement and clipped tone. Prim snickers. Katniss lets go of the Doctor and burst into tears.

Hours later, a tiny snorting noise enters the room. It is more of a grumbled protest than a cry, but it seems to charm three big strong men into a few tears as well. The baby is underweight but healthy. The first smell this tiny new life will know is the gunpowder, sweat and blood scent of its mother fresh out of battle.

One life begins. Katniss looks down at her own nose, her fathers cheekbones and Cinna's eyes and her heart labors to find a rhythm between joy and sorrow.

"Oh, Cinna. We miss you." Katniss whispers. She feels Haymitch kiss her hair softly, and it doesn't help this bitter burning of her sentiment for her child's lost father, but it does make her feel less alone. Sometimes, it's hard to remember Cinna exactly. She just hopes that she doesn't mess up his son's life too badly and that he grows up to be as great of a man as she knew so briefly.

"Have you come up with a name yet?" Prim asks softly fussing with the bundle as she settles him in his oxygen and temperature controlled crib. She turns on a low level of vibration and it sooths baby Everdeen to sleep almost at once. The room is full of smiles as Katniss closes her eyes in exhaustion.

"Yes…" she says. The expectant faces all wait. But Katniss says no more.

**_"No one in his right mind, the good Lord knows, would have children." - Fahrenheit 451, pg. 96 _**

"She's sleeping." Gale whispers with a smile. His left arm is in a sling, he has stitches from his cheek to his ear and his head is bound up like he's wearing a turban. But Gale is still there, steady and true as always, full of physical holes and wounded heart, he still calmly defies all reason with his patient rational loyalty to his hunting partner.

Finnick hums softly to the small face that watches him carefully. Prim had been gone from the room for exactly four minutes before Finnick had quietly eased the baby out of his little crib and set down in the rocking chair to rock and admire the scrunched fists and wrinkly toes. Finn has a patch over one eye and his burns are still a scabby mess, but there is softness in his eye and a sweet twist to his lips as he freely tosses his soul off a cliff for the child. He's carefully binding his heart to the Mockingjay's wee sparrow of a boy. Funny how much love can grow in just a few hours.

Haymitch Abernathy sits by her bed. His breaths are easy and his head is dropped to his chest as if he's sleeping. He is drifting, ruminating and contemplating, but only a fool would mistake his relaxed posture for sleep. He is rather peaceful at the moment.

Things could have gone so very wrong today. He knew how close he'd come to losing her forever and the thought made him so very aware of his healing bullet wound. The thought of what she had pulled right under his nose, made him ache just to the right of his injury. He could survive so many things for her, and he knew he could survive her death if it came, but he also knew that it would hurt far more than he could have ever imagined, if he were obliged to endure that particular event.

He would have pushed the switch and filled the room with gas, killing her if her half-baked brain-fart of a plan had not worked. He would have never shed a tear for her. He would never have in front of anyone at least. He knew this about himself and he had no shame about the skewed oddity. His love for her existed in destruction as accurately as defense.

It is beyond the kind of love that can be called completely wholesome or completely romantic. His love for her could be deemed a sick form of obsession, for he was without doubt that he could murder her, sleep with her, control her or follow her lead, if the need arose. Yet he would die to protect her and the child without a single regret. These two very divergent truths slithered through his veins, far from harmoniously, yet both were of equal weight when he measured their relationship. He is symbolically her father, lover, mentor, master, friend and enemy , and she deserved each roll. In a small troublesome Seam urchin, Haymitch had found his wits match.

How amazing. In a day, she had made him sick with worry, sick with sorrow and sick with pride, and then she'd out-done it all and brought forth a brilliant new life. Haymitch is a picture of slouched boredom on the outside, but inside, at this moment, his mind blazed like a nuclear reactor. He knew he lived on the edge of melt-down, and he was pretty sure that Katniss had somehow become something of a safety valve. Girl on fire, indeed. They both seemed to burn cold, yet somehow, they would together either torch the world to ashes or yank it from the gates of hell to assure its redemption.

Haymitch slits his eyes open, watching Finn. This picture of peace and joy, is such a rare moment for him, that Haymitch had to suck it in, breathe it and clasp it tight. The BOY. THE BOY. A child of genetic probability to rule one day. Cinna's brilliant heart without the damage done to him mixed with Katniss' practical guiding spirit without the burdens of starvation and oppression. He would chaperon this boy to be the iron will and master hand one day. He would pour every crumb of extraordinary perception he had into this one resolve.

Haymitch pictured who this boy would become. A righteous man, a bright sword forged from ruin, a great life carefully built by the lost and wounded and he might make all the suffering mean something. Someday, this tiny blank presence could fill the world with noble purpose if his mother and her mentor could just hammer a little hope out of the mountainous evil they themselves were born into. He owed it to nobody. He had long ago suffered enough to justify filling himself with apathy and hatred.

He had done those things. But here he sat, finding vast chambers of optimism within. He had so little faith in mankind, yet he had every confidence that this child could stick the world back together again and somehow fix the future. Haymitch breathed easy, but his heart, pounding dismal scalawag it was, grew warmer, and he wondered if he could live up to all the things this entirely perfect boy would require.

Haymitch felt needed. No, that wasn't even it, lots of people needed him, and he didn't like most of them. He felt like for once, he would be necessary. This kid of hers would need him in a way that was good, not as a pet bully or an advisor to damnation, but as a conductor to wisdom. The other part was that he craved to be there and was making a choice to be put upon and not rescuing anyone from the clutches of death out of obligation or guilt.

A lopsided curl snuck up his face as he realized that he had this kid's life planned for the next thirty years at least and in the first place, he technically had no right to make any choices for the little Prince of Panem. Second, he realized, he was making plans before he even knew the poor kids name. Both of those conditions would have to be remedied tomorrow. Yes, he would see to it all, tomorrow.

**_"That day in the park when we sat together, I knew that someday you might drop by with fire or friendship, it was hard to guess. I've had this little item ready for months. But I almost let you go. I am that afraid." – Fahrenheit 451, pg. 90_**

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><p><em>I do appreciate your patience. Updates are still slow. My mom is doing a bit better right this minute, but no guarantees how long I will have before I have to return. I will write as much as I can during my break and again, I know, I am the worlds least patient reader, but I can't do fast right now. Thanks a bazillion for all the story alerts. I feel horrible for keeping you waiting, but in my world, it must be done right, or not at all. Please review. It is like voting on the story you want updated the fastest.<em>

_p.s. fixed idol - ugh sorry - Lol - see what would I do without you! Thanks._


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